Hide My Name with Fear
by gethsemane342
Summary: Holly Carew has been told nothing of her brother's past life. All she knows is that she's different. Going to Hogwarts reveals one thing to her- she wants to know more about herself. But should the truth be revealed or will it hurt too much?
1. The Sceptic and the Wizard

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Geth342: This is my sequel to The Hidden Serpent but you DON'T need to have read it to understand this.. It'll probably help but, as this is about that story being kept hidden from Holly here, you should be able to keep up. Hopefully updates will be more constant- i plan to stay one chapter ahead at all times (Chapter 2 is already written and will be released on the 11th if people want me to continue). Anyway, i hope you all enjoy this and please read and review!

Hide My Name with Fear

Chapter 1: The Sceptic and the Wizard

When the summer holidays began, two months after I had turned eleven, I realised that the only thing I knew that was actually true was that my family was weird! I don't mean just slightly odd, or only my parents. I mean every member of my family was completely and utterly strange.

For example, my grandfather. Whenever I saw him, he muttered about business and things like that and then he would look at me and demand to know where my brother was. If I told him that I didn't know (which was the truthful answer) he would start snapping at me. If I lied and said something like 'oh, he's in London', he would call me a liar and start snapping at me anyway.

It wasn't just him though. My cousins- both much older than me- acted weird as well. My cousin Sharon always looked at me suspiciously, as though I was about to mug her, even when I was four! And Jack was even worse. At family gatherings, he had a habit of cornering me and demanding to know what my brother was up to. When I became absolutely terrified, he would apologise, stay silent for a minute and then question me about Zac again. Even his three year old daughter hated me and spent all her time with her pet cat. I tended to avoid my cousins wherever possible.

Then of course, there were my parents. Great lovers of anything normal and absolutely terrified that I would one day become a criminal or something like that. At least once a week, I would receive a lecture on good behaviour in school, why I shouldn't smoke, drink or do drugs. It worked; in school, I rarely misbehaved, much to the annoyance of my friends, but it really irritated me. In addition, I had a habit of doing odd things, things which most people could not do. Whenever my parents heard about these events, they would look like they were about to cry. And sometimes…sometimes I felt like they were hiding something from me.

In all fairness, I was not exactly 'normal' either. Unlike my friends, I loved to read books. Books about anything whatsoever. I never enjoyed studying but I did enjoy learning which, I suppose, is an odd combination. I also had a habit of manipulating people. Not to do bad things but I knew how to get out of any jobs I didn't want to do, I knew the best way to get my parents to buy me something and my friends usually found themselves with the worst jobs in group work by choice. Often, I would feel guilty about this so I tried to keep it to a minimum.

However, perhaps the worst thing was the weird little quirks I came out with. For example, when I was six, I leaned too far out of my bedroom window and fell. Instead of being injured or dying, I just bounced right back up into my room. When I was eight, my dad tried to paint my room yellow, even though I preferred the colour green, and the day after he did it, I woke up to find that my room had turned green. When I was ten, I got into an argument with another girl and she slapped my face. Or, she tried. But the moment her fingers touched my face, they snapped. Every finger on her left hand was broken. People assumed that she slapped me too hard but I didn't think that was possible. But then, what other explanation was there?

I will never forget her shouting 'Holly Carew, you're such a weirdo!' as she was driven off to hospital, nor her parents arguing that I should be expelled and sent to jail. I was just lucky that fifteen kids and four teachers had seen her trying to slap me and testified that it wasn't my fault.

I had quite a few friends in primary school but there were still people muttering about how strange I was. It wasn't that I looked different- I was about average height with pale skin, slightly crooked teeth, medium length coppery brown hair and piercing blue eyes. I did have a weird birthmark on my left arm but it wasn't anything to get excited about. My mum said that it was just something from her family. But maybe it was how quickly I picked Welsh up, or the sort of things that happened to people who hurt me. Maybe it was my love of reading and the rules. Whatever it was, I was never considered 'normal'.

However, if I was strange, then my older brother was absolutely bizarre. I was born nearly sixteen years after Zac was- there are only seventeen days between our birthdays- but even with this age difference, you would have thought that I would have spoken to him fairly often. At least once every few months or something. Or at least heard about what he was up to. But no- he visited about once a month, usually at some odd hour of the night when I was asleep, and he sometimes turned up in a disguise. He never said when he was coming: he just showed up. And oddly, my parents were okay with that. If I had been them, I would have told him to at least phone.

I wasn't even sure what his job was. As far as I could work out, he ran a small business which got things for people from around the world. He worked odd hours and he did not have (and as far as I could tell, had never had) a wife or a girlfriend, which worried our Mum. He always thought about what he said and he was never fully relaxed.

But the one thing that always got me was the way he looked at me. Sometimes, he looked and acted normally with me. He laughed and joked or told random stories. But sometimes I would catch him looking at me as though he wished I was not there. A fierce look would come into his eyes and his mouth would thin, his jaw would set and if he saw me looking at him, he would look away. I thought that he might have been upset when I was born, because he had been an only child, but then, he had had eleven years to get over it. There was something else, I was sure there was. There had to be some reason why he would look at his only sister and wish that she had never been born.

Over the years, I came up with a few theories as to why we were all weird. Family accident maybe or maybe I had had another sibling at some point who had been murdered. Maybe we had come from another country and followed different customs. I knew that all of these were very weak ideas but I had nothing else to go on. I certainly did not think that magic was behind it. By the time I turned eleven, I knew that there was no such thing.

Until that one day anyway.

I had been lying on my bed, reading a book and dreaming about what I could do with my free time -for it was the first day of the summer holidays- when my Dad called my name with a note of panic in his voice. That worried me. Dad was not the sort of person who panicked very easily- that was usually my mother's job.

I hurriedly ran downstairs to the living room with my doll. I was probably too old for dolls, but this one was special. It wasn't that she looked particularly amazing- she was just an old rag doll- but she had sentimental value. She had been given to me by Zac when I was born. I always carried her around with me, because she reminded me of him. I had even called her Cariad- the Welsh for love- just to tell me that he must have loved me at some point, even if he did not now.

My parents were sitting on the sofa, looking tired and scared. When I walked over to them, Dad handed me a piece of yellow paper without a word. It appeared to be a letter but when I asked who had sent it, my parents just told me to read it. I complied silently, my eyes widening as I absorbed more and more information. According to this letter, I was a witch with magical powers and I had a place at some magical school called Hogwarts, which I was supposed to go to on 1st September from platform nine and three quarters at King's Cross. I read it first with amazement and then with disbelief. It was just too surreal.

"Nice try," I said, handing the letter back, "but tell Zac that I'm not stupid and I am going to Ysgol Coed Gwyn." I turned and began to leave the room. This was obviously one of my brother's jokes- in one of our rare, normal conversations (normal being him not glaring at me) we had gotten into a bit of an argument about the Welsh language. I thought that it was beautiful and I was glad that I would be going to a Welsh high school. Zac, on the other hand, saw no need for Welsh and said that I should go to an English speaking high school. He had joked that he would do anything to stop me from going to Ysgol Coed Gwyn. This was evidently his best attempt.

"It's not a joke." Dad said, his voice slightly less panicky. I turned around, contempt on my face.

"Dad, I'm eleven, not three. I know magic doesn't exist." I told him, now slightly annoyed. I knew my parents were over protective of me but they didn't need to reassure me that magic existed. I was old enough to accept that it didn't.

"Holly," Mum said, speaking for the first time, "it really isn't a joke. Magic exists."

"Yep, along with unicorns and vampires. Give it a break Mum." I replied before turning again. I hate it when people don't give up on a joke which has already been shot down.

"Zac went to Hogwarts."

I whirled right back around again. A merry-go-round had nothing on me. "What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Zac went to Hogwarts." Mum repeated. I stared at her.

"Sure," I said after a minute of complete silence, "because he does magic all the time. If he is magic, why doesn't he live with all these other wizards then, instead of wandering around the world? Why haven't I ever heard about this?" I smirked, pleased to have proved my point.

"Because-" Dad began but Mum shot him a warning glare before informing me that they had called my brother and that they would explain later that night and could I please leave whilst they discussed the 'situation' (whatever _that_ was).

I was annoyed but I left and went upstairs to see if there was anything on the internet about magic. Half of me wanted to believe that my brother was a wizard, that I was a witch and that I could do magic. The other half of me pointed out that everyone knew that there was no such thing as magic and besides, witches were always the bad people in stories. When I wasn't debating between these two arguments, I thought about what my father had been going to say. Clearly, he had been about to tell me something about Zac and whatever it was, Mum didn't want me to know it.

The evening couldn't come quick enough for me. Being kept in the dark about things annoyed me and even though I was convinced that this was all a joke, I was still curious as to why my parents had joined in with it.

Finally, at about eleven o'clock, my brother appeared. For once, he wasn't in a disguise; he had his normal long coppery hair, dangling earring, and was wearing green clothes. He also looked like he had come from a jungle.

"Alright," he said in his angry voice, "what's so important that you had to drag me all the way from Peru?" His rude way of speaking to my parents no longer shocked me: he always did it if he was upset or annoyed and they never tried to stop him. Probably because he was an adult- if I had done it, I would be grounded. And if he had come from Peru, something had to be important. Maybe this magic thing was real after all…

Mum made us all go into the living room before saying, "Zac, I know it was short notice but Holly got the letter today and-"

"I see." Zac interrupted. For the first time since he had arrived, he turned to me and studied me, his blue eyes curious. "So, are you excited then Holly?"

"About what?" I asked. "I know this is your idea of a joke."

He frowned. "Yes, because I always rush from far off places just to laugh at my little sister." He said sarcastically. "Holly, use your brain."

"I am." I replied, annoyed, "There's no such thing as magic."

"Oh really?" He challenged. I nodded. Suddenly, he grabbed a stick from his shorts and pointed it at a vase. "_Wingardium Leviosa._" He shouted.

The vase floated. Mum and dad looked shocked and I guess I did too. My brother looked calm.

"Nice," I muttered when I finally recovered from the shock, "but I bet you tied string to it."

He rolled his eyes and then pointed the stick at me. This time, I did not catch what he said but I wasn't too worried about this because my parents had suddenly gasped and were staring at me with shock etched all over their faces. No, not staring at me. They were staring _through_ me.

I looked down at myself and screamed. Where I had been standing, there was nothing. I held my hands up to my face except I couldn't see them. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew I was there, I would have thought that I had just disappeared.

"Do you believe me now?" Zac asked in a bored tone.

I stared at him. How could he be so calm? "W-what have you done to me?" I asked in a strangled tone.

"Made you invisible. It's a speciality of mine. Of course, unless you learn the magic for it, you can't do it. Or undo it. So, I'm going to keep performing magic until you believe me. If you still think I'm lying, well, I don't suppose your friends will notice that you're invisible." All of this was said in a casual tone with Zac inspecting his nails as though everything he said was of no importance. I glared at him. I hated how he could control his emotions so well. And why did my parents say nothing?

"Alright, fine. I believe you. Now will you put me back to normal please?" I growled. He smirked arrogantly and flicked the stick, muttering something again. Colour returned to me.

"So, are you going to accept your place then?"

I shrugged. "Well, if I really do have magic, I guess so. I mean, it would be cool to know magic." I meant it too. His little display had convinced me that magic really did exist. It definitely explained a lot about my life. And if I could learn more about it, use it more then my life wouldn't be normal (not that it ever had been); it would be special.

He smiled, a normal smile for once. "It is cool. You can do all sorts of stuff with magic. You just need the equipment for school then. You get it from London."

"There are magic shops in London?"

"If you know where to look." There was something cryptic in Zac's smile.

"Well, when can we go?" I asked, suddenly eager to buy all the equipment on the letter (which I had only glanced at).

"Not we. You." His face had become carefully blank, leaving me unsure of what he meant. "Mum and Dad can't get into the magical world easily."

"But you can." I pointed out. "Why can't you come with me? Or why can't the school send someone?"

"We've already told the school that you don't require someone to help you." Dad interjected. I didn't say anything. That still did not explain why Zac couldn't help me.

Zac sighed. "I'm…not welcome in the magical world. If I showed up with you then they would probably kick the pair of us out. I can only take you as far as the entrance."

I looked at him curiously. This was getting weirder and weirder. Not only was my older brother a wizard, he was an outcast. What had he done? I asked him this.

"Holly-" Dad said warningly, apparently feeling that this was too insensitive a question. I supposed it was- after all, I didn't know when Zac had gotten himself into trouble. It could have been the day before.

"It's alright Dad," Zac said, his attention on me although he looked at our father, "she can know. I was expelled from Hogwarts." He finally looked at me again. "In Hogwarts, there are four Houses where you spend your school life. I was placed in a House which was…at a disadvantage to the other three in the way people viewed us. When I was your age, I liked to play jokes on people. Me and one of my friends played jokes on people all the time but we knew where to toe the line. Or, we knew where to toe the line if we were in a normal House.

"When we were in our third year, we played a joke which, in hindsight, was a bit dangerous. A normal person would have been in bad trouble. Us, well, we were just expelled. My friend went to a foreign school after that but I couldn't. I had to leave and I've kind of been in disgrace. And, as you can imagine, no one was overly impressed with my new status so I try to avoid them."

"Oh." I said. There wasn't much I could think of to say in response.

He smiled. "It's okay. I'm used to it now. Anyway, we can go tomorrow. I'll show you how to get in and we'll wait for you outside."

I agreed and he began to tell me about life in Hogwarts leaving me with a sense of wonder as I imagined the Great Hall, the dungeons and the lake. He tried to explain the magical sport but it just confused me. Sports generally did. My theory was that, if you wanted the ball so badly, why couldn't you go to the sports shop and buy one? My school teachers tended to hate me when it was time for a PE lesson.

By the time he finished explaining about exams and teachers, it was about one o'clock in the morning. However, I wished for knowledge about this new world more than I wished for sleep so this did not bother me. The one thing I noticed was that Zac had not mentioned the four Houses again so I asked him about this, ignoring my parents' stifled yawns.

He looked away when I said that. There was something uncomfortable in his gaze as he listened. Eventually, he began to explain.

"There are four Houses; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin." He began in a monotone. "Gryffindor is the House for the brave and noble. When I was there, they were the favoured House and they had a habit of rushing in to help people who didn't want help." He sounded scornful but then his expression softened. "But if anyone needs help, they'll give it. They always do the right thing." He smiled sadly and then his tone became more business like. "Hufflepuff is a House for people who like fairness and loyalty, who like to work hard. Everyone says it's an awful House to be in but it isn't. Well, mostly it's not. Some of the more inept wizards do seem to end up there though.

"Ravenclaw is for people who like to study and learn. Everyone always thought that they were just a bunch of bookworms but not all of them are. Some are just people who like knowledge." Again, that sad look flashed across his face and was quickly replaced by an impassive mask. "And Slytherin…Slytherin is one of the more complex houses. It's for people who believe in what they do and are not afraid to change people to do it. In my time, and probably now, they were seen as the worst House- completely evil. The saying was 'better a Hufflepuff than a Slytherin'. If you ask me, I wouldn't go for that House, Holly. It's as good a House as the others. It just brings trouble."

"Which one should I go for then?" I asked, slightly confused.

He thought for a moment. "Wherever you get put. A magical hat tells you where to go. I just wouldn't recommend Slytherin."

I scrutinised him for a minute. "That's where you were, weren't you?" I asked after a short silence. He looked uncomfortable and then nodded, so I continued. "So why can't I be there?"

He smiled tightly. "It's…different to what you're used to. People place emphasis on heritage and tradition. You have to think ahead to survive and be prepared to do some things."

"I can do that!" I retorted indignantly.

He shrugged. "I'm only trying to help."

I rolled my eyes, now annoyed. "Whatever. I'm going to bed." I wasn't sure whether I was actually tired or just wanted to avoid Zac's rejection from his old House but now that I had said it, I had no choice but to leave the room and go to bed. It probably hadn't been my brightest idea ever. But as soon as my head hit my pillow, I fell asleep. I dreamt about Hogwarts.

On the next day, true to their word, Zac and my parents took me up to London. Zac had changed his appearance; he now had spiky bond hair, green eyes and a long scar down his left cheek. It took us a few hours to get up to the city but soon we were walking down a London road, looking for 'the place'.

Eventually, we found it. Or, at least, Zac and I found it. An old pub was right in the middle of the street but my parents couldn't see it. They knew where it was, they just could not see it. As far as I could tell, they could only see a grey wall with graffiti on it. So Zac and I went in alone.

My first view of wizards was not overly impressive. A bunch of people in odd clothes drinking in a musky atmosphere. Apart from their odd conversations, they seemed a lot like normal people. I was disappointed.

We went into a courtyard and Zac told me how to open the wall up so that I could go to the magic world. Just before I did it though, he stopped me.

"Holly," he said, deadly serious, "when you're there, anywhere in the magical world, there's something you gotta do."

"Buy my school equipment?"

"If anyone asks you, your cousin was a wizard but he went to Durmstrang, in Bulgaria. He spent a year in Hogwarts though, which is how you know so much- you're a muggle-born."

"Why can't I say my brother did it?"

"They might guess that you're related to me," he said with a pained smile. "If you talk about me, just say that I am Peter Rotem, a muggle business man."

"The surnames?"

"I married Suzanne Rotem and took her surname but we split up."

I considered him. "You've really thought about this. I don't get why I can't say I'm related to you if all that happened was you were expelled though."

He shrugged. "Making it easier for you. People dislike expelled students." He gestured to the wall. "Now get."

I went. Quickly.


	2. Lysana

Disclaimer: If i did own Harry Potter, i'd be rich and not asking every shop in town to hire me. Alas, i'm not rich and no shop will hire me.

Geth342:Well, i hope you all enjoy. Next update should be on the 18th- unless my mother bans me from the computer for failing all my exams which is not unlikely... Anyway, read and enjoy.

Chapter 2: Lysanaf

This street was completely different from muggle London. People in funny clothing wandered around talking about strange objects, explosions occasionally emitted from nearby buildings and all sorts of creatures were nearby. I felt completely out of place in shorts and t-shirt.

My main problem was that I did not know my way around this street- Diagon Alley. I had a list of instructions and a map drawn by Zac. This would have been helpful if Zac could a) draw or b) use maps at all. Sadly, he could do neither so I found myself relying on a badly drawn diagram that I could not read of a street that I had never been to in order to get equipment that I had never used. It certainly wasn't the easiest job in the world.

According to my list, the first thing I had to do was exchange money at a bank called Gringotts. To do this I had to go left and walk up the street until I reached a giant building. Then I had to go inside and ask the goblin (goblin?) to change my muggle money into wizard money. I also had permission to withdraw some money from Zac's vault. I managed to do this one with surprising ease and, as I left with a bag full of weird coins, I felt more confidence in Zac's instructions.

This was not a long felt emotion.

Next, I was supposed to go get a wand. Unfortunately, he had written 'follow the arrows on the map' which I tried to do. When I found myself in the pub for a third time, I decided that this way was clearly not working so, instead, I did something even more stupid and tried to find it by myself.

It took me twenty minutes to find the shop and instead of walking in like a normal person, I stumbled in with an insane grin on my face. Unsurprisingly, the shop assistant looked rather startled to see me. I thought it was because of my entrance. It did not occur to me that there could be other reasons for him to look at me like that.

There was another girl in there, flicking a wand around whilst a woman watched. They turned to stare at me too. I found that it was upon me to break the silence.

"This is the wand shop, right? Only my b-" I remembered Zac's warning. "-Cousin," I amended, "gave me a really bad map to follow." They still stared at me so I turned around to go out of the shop again. Obviously, it was the wrong one.

"No, no, this is the right place." The woman called. "If Mr. Whitrow would like to start fitting you out with a wand, I'm sure you'll be alright. And then we can help you find the next place?" She smiled to show that she didn't mean anything nasty by it.

The blond haired shop assistant smiled at me and took me over to the other side of the room.

"What's your wand arm?" He asked.

I guessed what he meant. "Right," I muttered. He told me to hold my right arm out and tape measures flew up to it and measured it as he, amazingly, rooted around in boxes.

He returned and handed me a wand. "Eleven and a half inches, elm wood and unicorn hair. Give it a wave Miss…"

"Carew." I supplied as I took the wand. I almost missed the look of shock that crept onto his face. Feeling really stupid, I gave the stick a wave. Nothing happened.

He whipped the wand out of my hand. "No, no, that's not right. Here, try this. Thirteen inches, yew wood and dragon heartstring." He muttered as he handed me another wand. Again, nothing happened. I couldn't help wondering what I was supposed to be looking for.

"Okay, try this one instead. Eleven and three-quarter inches, sycamore with a phoenix tail." I took the wand. "By the way, do you have a relation called Zac? A brother, a cousin or your father maybe?" He added innocently.

I gave the wand a wave and a nearby cabinet exploded. "Sorry," I blushed as I handed the wand back and then remembered his question. "Um…no. Why?" For once, I was glad that I was a good liar. Sadly, this also meant that Zac was right. People did appear to be looking out for him.

"Twelve inches, holly and elm, quite springy. Give it a wave." He handed me the wand. "Your surname is…unusual and I was just remembering someone I knew. You said you had a cousin? Who is he?"

I considered the question as I nearly hit myself in the leg with the wand. Zac hadn't actually given me a name for my cousin, so I would have to make it up. Why was this man so interested in my family anyway? "Edward Simmons," I replied, "but he went to Durmstrang. I'm the second magical person in our family. Here, I don't think this wand works for me."

He smiled cheekily as he took the wand back and handed me another. "Ten inches, oak wood with a hemlock core. So, you don't know a Zac Carew? Only, you look a lot like he did when he was eleven."

As absolutely nothing happened (except for me clicking my wrist), I gave him the wand back. "Never met a Zac sorry. Why, is he famous or something?" I asked casually.

"Depends who you ask. Here, try this one." He gave me the new wand quickly and turned to rummage through some piles. I realised that he was avoiding the question but I was not overly keen to continue this conversation so I let it drop.

It took us another fifteen minutes but I finally got a wand- eleven inches long, made from yew wood with a unicorn hair core. Apparently it was very good for Charms, something which appeared to amuse Mr. Whitrow. When I looked at him questioningly he just smiled and said that he had thought of his own experiences with Charms.

He kindly pointed the way to the book shop after I paid but, just as I was about to leave, he called my name, making me turn.

"Miss Carew," he said with a glint of humour in his eyes, "if you do run into Zac Carew, I would stay away from him. He's a dangerous man." I tried not to change my expression. "Also, on the off-chance that you _do_ see him, tell him that Jake Whitrow says to stay out of trouble." I stared at him and he winked. "I'm not stupid, but I'm one of the few who aren't. If I were you-" He paused and shook his head with silent mirth. "Never mind. I'm sure you'll never meet him." He waved to me and walked back into the shop, leaving me confused and worried. Was my lie that easy to spot? How _had_ this man known that I was lying about Zac?

The blond haired girl who had been in the shop was leaving at the same time I was. She smiled at me as we left, not noticing how anxious I was and then proceeded to ask me if I was starting Hogwarts this year as well. I told her I was.

She laughed. "I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Lysana Malfoy. And you are?"

I tried to look innocent as I informed her that I was Holly Carew. She did not bat an eyelid, making me feel a lot better. I asked her if she was going to the bookshop as well and she said she was and hey, why didn't we go together? She was easily the most cheerful person I had ever met, something which defied her pale, pointed face.

"So, uh, where are your parents?" I asked nervously as we walked. She had a funny sort of robe on which suggested that she definitely wasn't normal. Well, muggle I supposed since I was clearly the abnormal one here.

"They're by Madam Malkins with my brother. He's a bit of a poser so he's taking ages to get fitted." She laughed. "I already got my stuff from there so I'll meet them later. How about you?"

I shrugged. "Waiting in muggle London since we couldn't work out how to get them in here. So, are your family magical then?" I asked to get off the uncomfortable subject of my family.

She nodded. "Yup, just a plain old witch and wizard." A strange look came onto her face but she didn't elaborate. I smiled.

"That must be cool, having parents who can do magic."

"It's alright. Probably the same as having muggle parents. You know, go to bed, don't speak to strangers and put the cat down." She muttered and then added in a louder tone, "Oh look! We're here."

She was right. I couldn't help wondering why she had wanted to change the subject but as she didn't seem to want to go into it, I let it drop.

Lysana helped me find all the books I needed and pointed out other interesting books which looked very nice but also very expensive; I only had enough for the stuff I needed so I had to leave those books. Lysana bought an extra one- a history of some guy called Harry Potter. I remembered Zac mentioning this man once but exactly what he was famous for escaped me. When I asked my new friend, she burst out laughing and told me that if we had a spare day, she could tell me but until that happy moment in time, would I be content with him being a hero? I told her that I would. She said that maybe I could borrow the book at some point which cheered me up. I always did like reading.

We bought items like cauldrons and potions ingredients next. Lysana squealed when she had to hold the beetles' eyes, making me giggle. She laughed at me when I asked if we really had to use quills and parchment and after a few seconds, I did see the funny side. Finally, my last task was to get myself robes. We began to wander over to the robe shop slowly, mainly because we were dragging cauldrons along with us.

"So, what House do you want to be in?" I asked conversationally as we walked.

She glanced at me sharply. "I thought your cousin went to Durmstrang. How do you know about Houses?"

"He went to Hogwarts for a year."

"Oh." She paused for a moment and then said, "I dunno yet. I'll probably get the same House as my brother though. They tend to go in families and it's not too bad. How about you?"

I shrugged, noting the fact that she had not actually told me which House that was. "Not sure. I'm thinking maybe Slytherin. That's what my cousin was in and it sounds interesting." She stared at me. "Then again," I added with a wry smile, "my cousin also tells me that I'll hate it there."

She gave me a small smile although her eyes had widened as though something had occurred to her. "I think you might."

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing as such but-"

"Lysana Narcissa Malfoy," a stern voice called, interrupting her explanation, "Where have you been?"

She cringed as we approached the speaker, a blond haired man, followed closely by a dark haired woman and a teenage boy. "Um…shopping, Father," she muttered.

"By yourself?" The man (her father evidently) did not sound impressed.

A blush rose in her pale cheeks. "No." She said defiantly. Her father looked at her questioningly. "Holly was with me."

I stared at her as well. "Don't get me involved!" I protested. "You said…hello, Mr. Malfoy." Mr. Malfoy had transferred his icy gaze to me and it occurred to me that I should at least greet him.

"And who," he said delicately, "are you?"

I joined my friend in blushing. "Holly Carew sir. It's um…nice to meet you." No one said anything so I added, "I guess I'll just be getting my robes."

"Do your parents know where you are?" Mrs. Malfoy said, her pretty face anxious. I had a feeling that Lysana's happy personality came from her.

"Yes Mrs. Malfoy." I replied. "They're waiting for me in Muggle London."

The teenage boy looked at me for the first time. "Why are you with my little sister?" He asked aggressively. He might have inherited his mother's looks but he sounded just like his father.

Lysana spoke before I could. "Because we thought it'd be nice to do all the shopping together, especially since YOU were spending all that time getting fitted, Cygel." She sounded colder, as though there was something much more important about this argument than why Lysana had been walking around with some random girl.

Cygel sneered at his sister. "Don't you have any sense of-"

"Enough!" Mr. Malfoy boomed, stopping the argument. "Cygel, that was very rude of you. You know what we think of such views. Apologise to Holly and Lysana."

"Sorry." He muttered sullenly. I had absolutely no idea why he was apologising to me.

"Lysana," Mr. Malfoy stated, turning to her, "you should not have run off by yourself and I doubt that being with Miss Carew here would have made you any safer. You caused your mother quite a scare and I think that you lied to your new friend so I want you to apologise to both of them as well."

"Sorry mother," Lysana muttered, "but I didn't lie to Holly."

"Eh!" I protested without thinking. Sometimes, I'm too impulsive for my own good. "Yes you did! You said your parents knew where you were."

She shook her head. "No I didn't. I said that they were at Madam Malkins and that I would meet up with them later. I never said that they knew I had gone."

I swore under my breath. She had a point, but I wasn't about to admit that. "That's not the point. You implied it."

"I…what?" She sounded confused.

"Implied Lysana. If you read more, you would know that word. It means that you said it without saying it. Which is exactly my point. Now apologise to Holly." Mr. Malfoy had decided to interrupt our fascinating argument and appeared to be winning his own.

"Sorry Holly."

"Good." He turned his gaze to me. "Holly, I can't punish you because you are not my daughter or relation but you really shouldn't talk to strangers."

"But you're talking to me now and I don't know you." My mouth said before the rest of me had a chance to catch up. I blushed as Lysana and her mother started laughing. Even Cygel's mouth twitched.

"Miss Carew, are you always this rude to your elders?" Mr. Malfoy asked in a restrained voice. This surprised me; I thought that I had been being somewhat polite.

"Um…no Mr. Malfoy." I replied, trying not to sound too surprised. "I'm sorry if you thought I was being rude. And, uh, I'll be more careful in the future."

To my astonishment, he smiled. "Good. Now that that's over, it's very nice to meet you Holly."

"I'm glad to see you've made friends with Lysana." His wife added. "Maybe you can come over some time during the holidays?"

This family certainly didn't hang about: one moment I was a stranger being told off, the next I was being invited to all sorts of things. "Thank you very much Mrs. Malfoy," I began, "but I'd have to double check with my parents first. We're going away soon so I'm not sure if…" I trailed off.

"Oh no dear, that's quite alright," she said. "Talk to your parents first. We can do it now." She sounded remarkably cheerful.

"Except we're meeting the Goyles in fifteen minutes." Cygel interrupted in a bored tone. "So we have to go now."

Lysana, meanwhile, had been scribbling something on a piece of paper. She handed it to me. "This is our address. So we can write to each other. Just owl it whenever you want." She sounded eager. I wondered when we had become best friends.

Then her phrasing hit me. "I'm sorry…owl?" I asked.

She laughed. "Yeah, you know. Attach it to an owl and away it goes."

I racked my brains. Had Zac mentioned this? Probably, but I didn't remember it. "Um…what's wrong with the postman?" I asked tentatively.

No laughter- just confused looks. "The pose man?" She asked.

Right. So they didn't know what that was. "I have an idea." I said thoughtfully. "Why don't I give you my address and you write to me first. Then I can send my reply with your, uh, owl. I don't have an owl." I explained.

"Sure. Here, write your address down." Lysana said eagerly. As I did so, I could not help but notice that her older brother did not look happy. He was glaring at me with so much hatred that I felt like apologising even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Done." I handed the parchment back to her.

She grinned. "Great." She looked at her parents who said that it was very nice to meet me (again!) but that they must be going. The blond girl sighed and then said, "I'll see you maybe later this summer, yeah?"

"Maybe." I said. She gave me a hug and then left with her parents, leaving me somewhat stunned. Maybe it was just me being weird but that girl was definitely the friendliest person I had ever met.

Going into the robe shop, I noticed two things. One was that the woman in charge was preoccupied with someone else so I would have to wait. The other was that the three kids who were sitting in the corner of the shop, presumably waiting, were staring at me and whispering to each other. It was really unnerving.

The lady spotted me and told me to sit on a chair in the corner whilst she finished pinning the young woman. I sat as far away from the whisperers as possible and did my best to ignore them. Even when one of them pointed at me, I pretended to be absorbed in studying my little finger (which was remarkably dirty). I always find that I learn more if I stay silent.

However, I could not ignore it when a girl asked me who I had been talking to outside the shop.

In hindsight, I probably should have remained polite; after all, I _was_ in a magical world. But these kids had been whispering behind my back and now, without so much as a 'hello' they wanted to know about the people I spoke to. It irked me, to say the least.

"And why," I said coldly, "is it any of your business?"

The girl and one of the other boys whispered to each other again. Then the girl deigned to speak to me. "So what are you? A Goyle? A Flint? A Montague? What?"

I glared at her. "Well I don't know about you but I'm a human being."

"What. Is. Your. Surname?" The boy asked slowly, as though I were a complete idiot.

"Carew. Why. Does. It. Matter. To. You?" I replied equally slowly. The boy glared at me.

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Could ask the same thing about you." I shot back, smirking.

The boy got up, his face turning red with anger. "Look Carew, you're being very rude-"

"Like you're not, Danny." The other boy said. "You're whispering about her and then you're demanding things off her. If I was her, I woulda punched you already."

"I'd like to see you try Devyn." Danny sneered. The pair faced off. It occurred to me how similar they looked- they both had brown hair, small noses and brown eyes. The only difference was that Devyn- the guy who was on my side- wore glasses.

"Can't be bothered." Devyn said. "But you haven't even introduced yourselves to the poor girl." He turned to me, ignoring the furious looks his brother cast at him. "I'm Devyn McDonald and this lump here is my twin brother Danny. Jenny Jones here," he pointed to the tall girl with strawberry-blond hair, "is a good friend. We're all starting Hogwarts this year. So, what's your name? Or are you just called Carew?" He smiled, his eyes alight with laughter.

I smiled back. "Holly. I'm Holly Carew. I'm starting as well."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Nice to meet you Holly. Now will you _please_ tell us who you were talking to?"

I frowned at her. Why was she so interested? "Lysana Malfoy." I replied after a few seconds. "Why do you want to know?"

The trio looked uneasily at each other. "Did you say Malfoy?" Danny asked me, all trace of hostility gone.

I said yes and why was it so important. They looked me up and down as though I were an alien. Finally, Jenny said that the Malfoys were a bad family. I said that they hadn't seemed so bad and added that I had even been invited over their house which seemed to surprise them. But then Devyn, who had been mostly silent, voiced the one flaw that I was thinking of.

"And was _Cygel_ happy about that?" He asked with a bit of a sneer in his voice.

"I dunno. He seemed a bit angry with me but I think he was worried about Lysana." I replied tentatively.

"I doubt it. He doesn't worry about anyone except himself. And he's always going on about blood purity." Jenny said. "My sister hates him." She gestured to the girl who was being fitted.

"Yeah, he was in here a few minutes ago. Couldn't stop going on about how rich he was and taking digs at us. I hate him." Danny added.

I looked at Devyn but before he could comment, Jenny's sister returned and said that they should get going. Danny and Jenny waved as they left but then they started whispering to each other and I was sure that it wasn't nice things. Devyn gave me a crooked smile and said that he hoped he'd see me in Hogwarts before he left. I shrugged and said bye to him before I went and got myself fitted.

After that, I had everything so I went back to the pub and out into the normal world. My parents instantly took the cauldron off me. Zac helped to take the other items off me.

We walked together in silence for a while. I was thinking about all the strange people I had met and all the items I had bought. I don't know what my brother was thinking of but when he looked at the books he was carrying, a strange expression crept onto his face. Maybe he was remembering his own days at Hogwarts.

"So, what did you get?" He asked after a while.

I smirked, much in the same way that he could. "A new friend, an invitation to go over her house, a pair of people who keep whispering about me, a supposed enemy and a message from Jake Whitrow to you to say that you should stay out of trouble."

He stared at me.

"Oh." I added cheekily. "I also bought all my school supplies."


	3. Train Journeys

Disclimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Geth342: I have a confession. Well, 2. One is that this chapter isn't that great. Sorry. The second is that i'm going away so the next update won't be until 6th September (or there abouts).

Anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 3: Train Journeys

When we returned to the house, Zac interrogated me about the shop assistant for half an hour. It was only when I asked him if he was planning to marry the guy that he shut up. He then proceeded to sit back and stay silent, apparently thinking, whilst my parents asked me if I had had a good time and what I had gotten and could they see me in my new robes. By the time I managed to get away, my brother had announced that he would be leaving and would return to take me up to the train station on 1st September.

Two days later, an owl flew into my bedroom, waking me up and then waking my parents up- I was so startled that I screamed. Then, to my complete astonishment, the owl handed me a piece of parchment with some writing on, which I shakily took. It was a letter.

_Heya Holly,_

_Did you manage to get your robes in the end? What am I talking about, you probably did. What I mean is: did you get them without too much bother? Cygel told me that there were some nasty kids in the shop when you went in and that they like to spread rumours. Then again, he does it too so I don't know…_

_I'm going crazy with boredom. Mother keeps making me go over her friend's house but her son and I don't get on very well so we spend the time in silence. How boring is that?_

_I'm halfway through that Harry Potter book. It's actually really boring. All the stories I heard about him seem a lot duller in print. I don't know, you said you liked reading. If you like reading about the most exciting man alive in the most boring way possible, I think this is the book for you._

_Oh yes, Mother also says have you asked your parents about coming over?_

_Write back soon. Siren should still be there. If she's gone, you could try your pose man. You have my address, right?_

_Lysana Malfoy._

She seemed to like the word boring a lot but otherwise, it was a nice letter. By the time I had finished reading it, my parents had decided that I wasn't being murdered and had left my bedroom so I had to call them back in to ask about going over Lysana's house. They weren't too sure about me visiting a stranger but they were equally unsure about letting this opportunity to make friends go away. Eventually, they said that I was allowed to go.

As it transpired, I was away for the next two weeks and then Lysana was away, so I never did go over her house. However, I did send her a lot of letters and, although I was still wary, she did become my friend.

Finally, the day arrived when I was to go to Hogwarts. I had arranged to meet Lysana on the platform and, after saying goodbye to my parents, Zac escorted me through the ticket box (he had to push me through. I didn't believe you could actually walk through it) and stood with me whilst I looked around for Lysana. Today he was a tall man with jet black hair, a moustache and a long overcoat. Around us, loads of children were meeting their friends and being hugged by their families. We barely said a word to each other, apart from the occasional question/answer about the school.

Suddenly, my world went dark. Before I could shout, a familiar voice said, "Guess who!"

I laughed, relieved. "Can't think. Some idiot's put their hands over my eyes." The hands moved and I turned around to face Lysana, who gave me a hug. I did not hug her back- I wasn't really a 'huggy' person. My brother merely stared at the girl.

"Oh yes," I mumbled, "this is my, er, cousin, Edward. Edward, this is my friend Lysana."

Lysana nodded at Zac. "Nice to meet you Edward."

I could see Zac trying to keep his face straight as he remembered the fake name I gave him. "Likewise." He murmured, also giving a stiff nod. He turned to me. "If that is all then I really should be going." He was using oddly formal tones. "Have fun Holly and I will hopefully hear from you soon." He started to bend to give me a hug, seemed to think better of it halfway down and gave me a gruff pat on the shoulder instead. I watched him stride through the people for a moment before I turned back to my friend.

"So, let's go find a compartment." I suggested brightly. If she thought that there was anything weird about the way my 'cousin' and I interacted, she did not let it show. She said that she wanted to say goodbye to her parents first so we went over to where they were standing. I was instantly greeted to 'Holly, how nice to see you again' and 'what a pity you couldn't make it this summer' from the pair. Her brother, however, was nowhere to be seen. As we walked onto the train, I asked her about him, but she said in a disinterested tone that he had gone to meet his friends and did not want to be bothered by his little sister. I felt sorry for her. I knew what it was like to be rejected by your brother.

We hauled our luggage onto the train and went in search of an empty compartment- luckily, we found one towards the end- and eventually we sat down and talked about our respective holidays.

She had gone to America and had gotten to see the sites of the Salem Institute and all sorts of magical places. My holiday- a trip to Spain where the most exciting thing I did was try scuba diving in the hotel pool- seemed dull by comparison. However, Lysana seemed to be fascinated by it; she asked all sorts of questions about planes and muggle past times; I asked an equal number about her holiday. This, if nothing else, kept us amused for an hour or so.

We then somehow got onto the topic of our families. I told her about my parents and my brother but I didn't go into much detail. I said that I was, more or less, an only child and that I had a fairly odd family. I was more eager to know about her family. On the way up, Zac had said something odd about the Malfoys- he said they were a well known family and half the wizarding world seemed to revel in hating them. I could not see why.

She told me that her father worked in the ministry as had his father and the father before him, but her mother worked in St. Mungo's which was apparently a wizard hospital. She did not often get to spend time with them. Her brother was two years older than her and they always argued although he was apparently a bit overprotective of her. When a fifteen year old boy spat at her outside their house once, Cygel had immediately head butted him and forced him to apologise. The only curious thing was that when I asked why this stranger had spat at her, she asked me whether my brother was overly protective of me. I could not see what this had to do with my question but I didn't get time to ask because two familiar faces walked into our compartment.

"See, there she is. I told you I'd seen her." An obnoxious voice said.

"Yeah well, I didn't want to see her. At least, not if 'big brother' is around." An equally obnoxious voice replied. I glared at the speakers.

"Hello Danny, Jenny," I said icily, "why are you here?"

They glanced at me with some shock. "What are you doing here?" Danny asked.

I looked around mockingly. "I dunno. I guess I'm flying to Spain but I could be wrong. Don't tell me you came in here just to say hello to me." I had a nasty feeling that they had come to get revenge on Cygel by hurting his sister. Lysana didn't appear to know what was going on. I hoped I could keep it that way.

Suddenly, a crafty smirk came onto Danny's face. "We thought we'd help you out by getting you away from it." He said with his voice full of sincerity.

I looked around. "It? You mean the compartment? Why?"

Jenny shook her head and whispered loudly, "No, the Malfoy." I winced. Lysana looked shocked and upset. Danny sniggered.

I glared at him. "Get out." I snapped. "Lysana's my friend. I don't know why you hate her but you two are worse."

"I want my revenge first. You don't know about her Holly. Her and her family are scum, always trampling on everyone. All Slytherins _of course_." Danny sounded like he was about to go on a rant. But what he had just said confused me. Why didn't he like Slytherins? I had conveniently forgotten that Zac himself had informed me that people generally did not like them.

"For your information," I stated coldly, "my cousin was a Slytherin when he came to Hogwarts. And he turned out just fine." I nearly laughed as shock spread over their face and they stared at me as though I were a complete stranger.

"But aren't you and he-" Lysana began suddenly, speaking for the first time with a thick voice. But whatever we were, was lost by the entrance of yet another person.

"Daniel McDonald, if you harm one hair on their heads I will…hello." Devyn had burst into the compartment and realised that we were all staring at him. He turned to look at me and Lysana. "Look, I'm really sorry about this." He said apologetically. "I _might_ have been the one who accidently suggested this and my idiot brother jumped straight to it."

"Shove off Dev." Jenny muttered.

"Danny, I will tell Mum and you _will_ be sorry." Devyn continued. Danny blanched. "Jenny, I'll tell your mum too. Leave them alone."

"Why are you siding with them?" The girl asked him with hurt written all over her face. I suddenly felt like an unwanted spectator in a private conversation.

"'Cause they've done nothing wrong. And because I remember the time Danny gave me a broken nose. Go away already." The boy said, glaring at Jenny

Danny shook his head with disgust. "I can't believe this Dev. Time was you woulda sided with me. Fine, we'll go. Join the Death Eaters if you want." Jenny gasped. Lysana made a small sound. I just watched.

His twin shook his head. "I would still in anything but this." He murmured as the pair left our compartment. Then he turned to face us. "Sorry about him. He'll get over it."

"That's alr-" I began but was stopped by a sniffling sound next to me. Lysana's usually pale face was red and tears were streaking down her face. Instinctively, I put my arm around her. "Ignore him. He's a jerk (no offence Devyn)." I said, trying to be as comforting as possible. It was hard- I'm not very good with crying people.

She shook her head. "Death Eater." She mumbled. Devyn jumped.

"He said _that_?" He yelped. "I didn't hear him! That stupid, idiotic-" He shouted indignantly. Tears carried on falling down Lysana's face.

"Eh? What's a 'Death Eater'?" I asked, interrupting him. Both eleven-year-olds turned to stare at me as though I were completely stupid. It dawned on me. "That's a swear word, isn't it?"

Devyn, who was easily the calmest of the pair, shook his head. "Sort of. It's the name of a group of evil wizards from years ago. I think they were vanquished near the start of the millennium so…uh…about forty-four years or so ago."

"1998," Lysana mumbled through her tears. "It was forty-six years ago."

"But now it's become a way to insult people. It's one of the worst things you can call someone. It's, ugh, it's a horrible insult. I can't believe Danny said it."

I was still confused. "So it's an insult where someone calls you a group of evil wizards?"

The pair traded uncomfortable looks. "It's more than that." Devyn said slowly. "Have you ever heard of You-Know-Who?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. Had I ever heard about someone I knew about? I considered asking him if it was a trick question but something told me that this was too serious for jokes. I said no.

Lysana was looking really uncomfortable now. The only good news was that her tears had stopped. This discussion appeared to have taken her mind off them. "He was one of the darkest wizards of all time. He killed loads of people just because their parents were muggles." She mumbled.

"Like me?" I asked.

She nodded. "Harry Potter was the one who killed him. The Death Eaters were his helpers. What they did was considered to be some of the worst acts in history. Danny basically said that we were evil scum who deserved to die."

"Oh." Put like that, it sounded bad. I could see why Lysana had gotten upset.

Devyn shook his head. "Danny's a bit stupid sometimes. You don't have to take him seriously Lysana. Or you Holly."

"Why did they come in here?" A small voice asked. I couldn't answer. Neither could Devyn. I did not want to say it was because her older brother had annoyed them about a month before. But then she seemed to get a conclusion of sorts. "It's because of my surname, isn't it?" She said meekly.

I frowned. Devyn shook his head vehemently. "Of course not!" He protested.

"Tell the truth." Lysana's voice rang with sudden power and her face became fierce and determined, making us jump. Devyn muttered something about having to go and shout at his brother before escaping and leaving me to answer the question. I glared at him. This was one boy who would definitely not be a Gryffindor.

"Well, uh, I, uh, th-think," I stuttered, "I think it was p-partly. But I don't get it," I continued in an attempt to get away from their motives, " I mean, why would they hate you because of that?"

She looked away. "They just do." She was silent for a moment. "You want to know something stupid?" She asked suddenly. I nodded. "When I first met you, the only thing I could think was, Great, she has no idea who I am so we can be friends. Or have a nice conversation." She fell silent again.

"But it worked." I pointed out. "We are friends. In fact, you're my only friend in the magical world. Well, you and possibly Devyn anyway. But mostly you." I was babbling but I didn't care. "And I don't care that you're a Malfoy." I added as an afterthought.

She wasn't to be placated. "That's because you don't know anything about my family."

I laughed. "I've met them haven't I? You've only met my cousin. Trust me, my brother tells me that he gets in all sorts of trouble. He mentioned being arrested once." He had done no such thing but I felt that, if I was being forced to lie about him, I may as well add my own details. And I thought that this detail would be a nice revenge for his turning me invisible. "Family's just family."

She smiled timidly. "Really?"

I smiled back. "Look, Danny and Jenny looked like the jerks today, not you. So relax already." Thankfully, the conversation then settled into less complex things. The one thing I did remember though was that no one had mentioned exactly _what_ the Malfoys had done.

Devyn returned a little while later and tried to explain Quidditch to me while Lysana pretended to fall asleep, making me laugh too much to concentrate. Luckily, our new friend spotted the funny side and didn't mind too much. He said that he wasn't much of a player anyway.

A little while after Devyn left, a prefect came in and told us to get changed. Once we were in our new robes, we both started feeling a bit nervous. Studying my robes, I asked Lysana why the prefect had had a yellow hem and a badger on his robes but we did not.

She smiled. "When you get sorted, the colour and badge get added to show what House you're in. That boy was in Hufflepuff. I wonder how they sort you though. Mother and Father won't tell me and Cygel said it was painful." She shivered.

I grinned. At last there was something I could explain that she could not. "You put a talking hat on and it decides." I stated proudly.

She looked at me. "No, seriously. That can't be it." I tried to insist that it was but she would not believe me so I let it drop. She would find out when we got to the castle. Unless, of course, Zac had lied to me and I had just made an idiot of myself. The more I considered that, the more likely it became. I decided to shut up about it.

Eventually, the train came to a stop and we exited. A lot of students were going to some horseless carriages but, before I could follow, a voice called for first years to follow him. Feeling somewhat confused, I followed the voice up until a lake. Kids were getting into small wooden boats in the dark. I looked at the water and felt sick.

I have had a fear of water ever since I was four. I had been walking by a river with my parents when the ground suddenly crumbled beneath me. I fell into the swirling, rushing river. Water flooded into my mouth. I flailed wildly, trying to stay above but I couldn't. I still remember being pushed downstream and screaming for my parents. I remember falling under the water and being unable to draw breath. A passerby who happened to be a champion swimmer for his city saved me but not before I had fallen unconscious. Ever since then, I have greatly disliked the water. This was not helped by some boys in my class who, when we went swimming, thought it would be funny to push me into the deep end. I had to be rescued.

"Holly, come on." Lysana called from one of the boats. "We're waiting for you."

I watched the boats bob on the water and imagined them capsizing. The feeling of water swirling around me and not being able to breathe came over me, making me feel sick. I shook my head and whispered no.

"Holly, what's wrong?" Lysana sounded concerned.

"I can't do it." I muttered quickly. "Not this. I'll walk. I'll…I'll do anything. Just don't make me go." I knew that I was being cowardly and indeed, some kids were looking at me with contempt, but I didn't care. Nothing could have been worse than being on top of the water, knowing that I could fall in at any one point.

"Oh just get in the boat already." Someone muttered. I considered it. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend I was back on the train. I walked one step forward.

"That's it." Lysana called encouragingly.

"Hurry up already." Someone else complained. I took another step. Then another.

Then I froze. I was one step away from the boat. I stared at the water, trying to summon up the courage to take that one extra step. I told myself that I was holding everyone up. That I wouldn't get in to the school if I couldn't climb on a boat. That everyone would hate me. I still could not do it. I backed away slowly.

"Oh for Merlin's sake." A tall boy with black, spiky hair said. He got out of his boat and came behind me. "If I push you onto the boat, would you feel better about this?" He asked.

"No."

"Would you stay in the boat?"

"Probably."

"Alright. Get ready."

"What?" Before I could elaborate on this question, the boy gave me a shove towards the boat. Unfortunately, we had both miscalculated and I stumbled to the right of the boat. He tried to give me a harder push towards the boat. I tried to move away. I toppled face first into the water, with the unknown boy desperately trying to grab my robes.

The lake was deep here. My robes dragged me down and water began to fill my mouth. Kicking my legs desperately, I surfaced for a moment to see people staring at me. Lysana had rushed to the side of the boat and had her hand held out whilst she screamed my name in panic. I could not reach her hand. I sank back into the depths.

Desperately, I tried to kick upwards again but my robes would not let me. I screamed but no sound came out and water came rushing in, filling my lungs. I opened my eyes, futilely. This was my worst nightmare- drowning away from my friends and family with no way to stop it- and if I had had any air, I would have been hyperventilating. The world spun as I struggled until eventually, it all fell dark and I accepted the truth. I was going to die.


	4. The Sorting

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.

Geth342: Well, here we go. It's extra long, just for you. Next update will be on the 12th but the one after that may be a bit longer. Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers and favouriters and story alerters and i hope you enjoy.

Chapter 4: The Sorting

_Holly, wake up._

_Come on, wake up._

_Ennervate._

Voices were floating around in my head. I opened my eyes to see who they belonged to and got a shock when I saw Lysana's pale face above mine.

"You're awake!" She shouted, apparently stating the obvious.

"'m I dead?" I mumbled. I had drowned so I should be dead but then, why was Lysana here? Unless I had accidently drowned her as well.

"Of course you're not!" She shouted gleefully before I had the chance to feel too guilty. "Here, I'll help you get up." She extended a hand. Confused, I accepted it and allowed myself to be tugged upwards. She held on to me to stop me from toppling over again.

"Why am I not dead?" I looked around and realised with some shock that I was in a hall somewhere and not by a lake or on a boat. "How did I get here?"

"You have me to thank for that." An insolent voice behind me said. I turned around, stumbling a bit because my legs were still asleep.

"You!" I snarled when I saw the speaker. "You're the person who pushed me in the first place."

The black-haired boy shrugged and smirked. "Hey, is it my fault that you decided to go in the opposite direction?" He asked. "Besides," he continued without waiting for an answer, "I saved your life. You should be grateful that I'm a champion swimmer and I know how to cast a light spell." I looked at him blankly so he sighed and explained. "When you fell in, everyone started panicking so I just kicked my shoes and robes off and dived in. I grabbed you and pulled you back up- with a lot of effort may I add. The teacher got rid of all the water in your lungs and then he woke you up here."

"So why did no one wake me up on the boat?" I asked.

Lysana looked guilty. "We thought you might panic if you were on a boat. I'm guessing you don't like water?"

"Not as such, no." I replied dryly. Then I looked at the boy. "I guess I should thank you. But I don't know your name."

He smirked again. "Rune Everett. And I accept your thank you." He turned away.

I stared at him. "Did you say Rune?"

He turned back, looking less confident. "Yes. Do you have a problem with it?"

I blushed. "Um…no. Not at all. Nice name."

He smirked again. "Thought that's what you said. Now if you don't mind?" He turned away again and walked over to a group of boys. I watched him, not quite knowing what to think. He sounded and acted rude but he had saved my life…

A youngish man walked in and called us to silence. When he was sure that we were all paying attention, he began to speak.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor Neclor, the deputy headmaster and head of Ravenclaw. In a moment, I will call you into the Great Hall where you will be sorted into your new Houses. These Houses will be like your family for the next seven years. If you do good deeds, you earn points. If you do bad things, you lose them and you will possibly get a detention which I hope none of you will strive for. At the end of the year, the House with the most points will win the yearly competition. I will call you in a minute." He left again, leaving us to speculate on exactly how you got sorted. I heard a few more people talking about hats so I was pretty sure that you got sorted by a magical hat. Lysana still did not believe me.

When we were led into the Hall, I saw a ragged old hat on a stool and had to nudge my friend. She smiled and was about to say something when the hat shocked us both by bursting into song.

The song was pretty bad. It was a sort of poem-song about the Houses and their qualities. When it finally finished, Professor Neclor walked forward. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief.

"Aldritt, Rhian." A tall girl wandered towards the seat nervously, sat down and placed the hat on her head. It was silent for about half a minute before shouting.

"RAVENCLAW!" The table second from the left started clapping as the girl gave a relieved smile and walked over there. I noticed that the hem of her robes turned blue.

"Andover, Clifford." A red headed boy who looked extremely nervous walked forward. The hat went on his head for a few seconds before he was declared a Gryffindor. This time, the table on the far left began to cheer.

Two more people were sorted. I was desperately trying to think about what House I would be in- every House had had someone- when Professor Neclor called, "Carew, Holly."

Lysana nudged me as I walked forward nervously. Some of the first years behind me were nudging each other- evidently, my drowning had created quite an impression. I sat down and put the hat on.

"**Ah, another Carew I see."**

That gave me a shock. The hat had whispered into my ear. And, what was worse was that he knew who my brother was. I really didn't like this hat

"**Don't worry. I do not tell people what I see in your minds. Your secret shall remain a secret."**

_Thank you,_ I thought back. I noticed that it had not commented on my apparent dislike of it.

"**Now, where to put you, where to put you… You're quite a tricky person Miss Carew. Not quite like your brother, he was an easy one to sort."**

_Thanks._ I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not.

"**Let's see. You're brave, certainly. But Gryffindor would not suit you. Don't think much of heroics, do we?"** I didn't know whether to answer that. The hat continued anyway. "**Loyalty. Admirable quality. You're a very loyal person and you value hard work. But you like to control the situation and you don't mind lying. You think that fairness has to be sacrificed sometimes, hmm? And what's this?" **It sounded curious.** "Ah, I see. You're interested in Slytherin."**

_It sounds interesting. Everyone keeps talking about it._

"**But you aren't as suited for it as your brother. You dislike hidden meanings too much and you have a strong respect for rules. You and your brother are very similar Miss Carew but in this respect…well, I think there's another House which would suit you better."**

_It's Ravenclaw, isn't it?_ I asked. It was obvious. That was the only House the hat had not mentioned.

"**Do not be mistaken. You may have done well in Slytherin or Hufflepuff, but you, Miss Carew, are a researcher. You like to find things out and you like knowledge for its own sake. You want to be in Slytherin just to find out more about it because no one would tell you."**

_That's true, I guess…_

"**So you do not mind me putting you there?"**

_I guess not. If that's where you think I should go._

The hat did not wait any longer. "RAVENCLAW!" It shouted. I walked over to the table where Rhian Aldritt had gone. A few students stood up and shook my hand. My fellow classmate patted the bench next to her. I sat down, silently relieved to have been given a House at all, even if I had not gotten Slytherin.

More people were sorted. By the time Rune was sorted, there was also another boy on our table- Anthony Eagan. He seemed confident and sat opposite Rhian and myself. Rune himself swaggered forward to the stool and put the hat on. Almost instantly, it screamed Slytherin and he got up and walked over to the table next to mine, smirking. I turned around once during the sorting to look at him. He saw me looking and winked. He didn't seem that bad after all.

"Jones, Jennifer." This call startled me out of my stupor and I watched as the girl walked forward. The hat stayed on her head for a short while before declaring her a Gryffindor. She looked smug as she walked to the cheering table on the left.

The next person of interest was Lysana. As soon as she was called, people near me started muttering. Anthony was telling the other boy sitting opposite me that Slytherin was a certainty.

Her face was unreadable as she sat down. A minute passed. The girl sitting by me, Rhian, whispered something about her taking as long as I did. Now that I thought about it, I _had_ been under the hat for a while. I wondered what it was saying to her. I heard people wondering why the hat was taking its time. Surely the answer was obvious. Hope rose in my mind. There was still a chance. She liked to read. She could be in Ravenclaw, like me.

A second minute passed. She really was taking a long time. I looked around and spotted the Slytherins looking at her intensely. All the time, I prayed that she would be in Ravenclaw. And her expression never changed.

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat finally shouted. My heart sank as the Slytherin table behind me exploded into cheers. Everyone else hissed at her, and I saw a blush rise in her cheeks despite the impassive look on her face, so I began to clap. My new House mates stared at me but when Lysana spotted me clapping and mouthing 'well done', she smiled back gratefully; making me very glad I had done it.

Danny was next. He did not look at all frightened when he sat down and soon the hat declared him a Gryffindor like Jenny. He smirked and mouthed something to Devyn. It looked like 'see you in a minute'. I guessed they had made up. Maybe their family had all been in Gryffindor. Lysana had mentioned that families went together. Then it struck me- of course, that was why Lysana had been a Slytherin. So Devyn would be a Gryffindor. And I would be alone.

"McDonald, Devyn." I watched as the boy walked forward nervously, sat down and placed the hat on his head. The hat remained silent for a long while. Much longer than anyone I had seen, except for Lysana. I didn't think anyone could take as long as Lysana did.

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat screamed. Devyn put the hat down and walked over to our table. I smiled at him and he sat down next to me. I couldn't help feeling happy- I had one friendly person here after all. I wouldn't be completely alone.

There weren't a huge amount of people after Devyn. Soon, there were just two girls left.

"Weasley, Faith." A small, red-head walked forwards, grinning. Around me people started talking, saying that she was a dead certainty for Gryffindor because all of her family had been there. I remembered Zac mentioning them as being some sort of hero family with many members but apart from that, I knew nothing about her.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The table on the right burst into the loudest cheering yet. Everyone else looked stunned. I guessed that this was a real shock for everyone. The girl herself looked slightly surprised but otherwise happy.

Finally, Olivia Zoler was declared a Ravenclaw and another man stood up. Devyn whispered that this was Professor Longbottom. I nodded in agreement- I didn't have a clue.

"I don't want to keep you from your dinners any longer than I have to, so I'll talk to you afterwards. Enjoy." He clapped his hands and food instantly appeared on the table. I suddenly realised how hungry I was.

After we had all piled food on our plates, we began to introduce ourselves to each other. Most of my year mates, upon seeing me said 'oh hey, you're the girl who drowned'. It became very irritating to say, 'yes I am, nice to meet you, I'm Holly.' I was very glad that I already knew Devyn- at least I didn't have to introduce myself to him.

However, most of the people in Ravenclaw seemed nice. There were nine of us- five girls and four boys- and we were all nervous. I was not the only muggle-born either- Rhian and a red-haired boy called Cain Goodwin had also had no idea that they were magical until they had the letter. We talked about how we had reacted- Cain had thought that it was some bullies playing a joke on him. Rhian had assumed that it was for her mother and was junk. This made everyone else laugh.

The talk turned to the other Houses. One of the girls- I thought her name might be Natasha- was saying that she wasn't surprised that 'another Malfoy' had been put in Slytherin.

"Why?" I asked before I thought about it. They turned to stare at me.

"Oh, I forgot you don't know about the Malfoys," Natasha said, "I'm sorry. They're a dark family. They were right in with You-Know-Who. Slytherins, through and through."

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" I asked, trying to control my temper. I did not know if she was lying or not but I didn't like the way she spoke about them anyway.

She looked at me mockingly. "Slytherin's had more dark wizards in it than any other. And they're very much into blood. No muggle-borns there. They'd probably kill any who showed up. No wizard who went through there ever came out decent."

"Wait a minute-" I began, full of the intent to inform her that if they were so much against muggle-borns then how did my brother/cousin get in there, when it occurred to me that if this was so rare, someone might recognise Zac from it. Luckily, another girl butted in before I could finish my sentence.

"You know, you shouldn't just decide that on the spot." The girl- Sandy- said. "Just because some bad wizards came out of Slytherin doesn't mean that they're all evil. Some can be nice. I reckon we should give them a chance." I looked gratefully at her.

Devyn then decided to chip in. "Yeah, and I've met Mal- Lysana Malfoy. She's perfectly nice."

"And wasn't that boy with the weird name the one who saved you?" I nodded. "And wasn't he sorted into Slytherin?" Sandy asked me. I nodded again. "There you go. They're obviously very nice."

"Unless he wanted something out of it." Anthony Eagan muttered.

I shrugged. "I don't care. If it wasn't for him, I'd be a corpse on the lake bed. And Lysana's my friend. If her family hate muggle-borns so much, why have we been sending each other letters all summer?"

It looked like it was about to escalate into a full-blown argument. Only Cain and Rhian were staying out of it because they didn't know anything about it. However, just before we could get really into it, an older student walked by us and defused the argument by declaring herself to be Sandy's older sister and asking what we thought of Faith Weasley being sorted into Hufflepuff. Whilst everyone began to discuss this, I ducked out of it because I had no real comment. Instead, I struck up a conversation with Rhian and Cain about what sort of things we wanted to learn in magic. I had read some of our books and thought that Charms did look the most interesting. My brother had attempted to convince me otherwise but I was determined. Potions seemed alright as well.

Eventually, we were all full and had stopped arguing with each other. The second man stood back up and called everyone to silence. I looked at him.

"I hope you're all full and ready for bed. But before I can send you away, a few notices. First of all, I'm sure you'll all be sad to hear that Professor Quake has retired after thirty-five years of teaching." I thought I heard a few cheers but I couldn't be sure. Zac had told me that this Quake guy was his worst teacher. Maybe he hadn't been the only one who hated him. "So I would like to introduce you to our new teacher- Professor Langtree." A tall man with brown hair stuck up in a quiff at his forehead and a long scar on his face stood up and nodded at everyone. "Next, as most of you will be aware, Hogwarts has been testing the Learning Support programme. It is my pleasure to announce that in addition to Professors Motran and Lewis, we are introducing a new classroom assistant. Professor Rowland, if you will please stand up?" A pretty looking woman with red hair stood up and waved.

"Hey Sandy, why are you frowning?" I heard Devyn whispering. I diverted my attention from Longbottom's speech to look at them.

"Oh." Sandy looked surprised. "No reason. Just tired I guess." She gave him a smile which did not quite reach her eyes. Devyn shrugged and turned back to look at Professor Longbottom. I gave Sandy another glance. She looked confused about something.

"-should not enter the Forbidden Forest and should not use any of the items which are currently on Mr. Rewn's list." Longobttom was saying. "Anyone wishing to apply for their House Quidditch team from second year up should hand their names in to their Head of House." He looked around and clapped his hands. "And that's the end. If the prefects would like to stand up and lead their Houses back?"

Instantly, benches were scraped back. A tall girl started to call for first-year Ravenclaws to follow her. Dutifully, we stood up and began to walk after her. I kept my eyes firmly fixed on Devyn's back- I had no intention of being lost in the crowd.

We walked for a short while through the castle with the prefect telling us her name and some random facts such as who our head of House was and which ghosts to look out for and avoid. Eventually, after climbing a long, spiral staircase, we reached a door which just had a brass doorknob. The girl reached forward and knocked the doorknob. To my surprise, it asked her a question. The girl thought for a moment before giving an absurd answer which, even more surprisingly, was correct. We scrambled through the door.

The room was big. That was one way to describe it. The carpet was midnight blue and the ceiling had stars on it. All around the room were tables, chairs and bookcases. For some reason, there was a statue of some woman near the staircase. I noticed that near the statue was a shiny plaque of some sort. It had a fairly intimidating effect or at least, I felt intimidated.

The prefect informed us that there was no password- only the question. If we got it wrong, we would have to wait for someone who would get it right. I gulped. I had a suspicion that I would be spending a lot of time waiting for people. Finally, she told us what time to be up the next morning to see the bathrooms and then sent us to our dorms.

Going into the room, I realised that our belongings were already there. All of the girls were together and none of us seemed to want to move. Eventually, I sat down on the bed closest to me.

"Does anyone object to me having this bed?" I asked. They shook their heads. "Oh well, in that case, I'm going to sleep. Night night." This seemed to spur the others into movement. Sandy and Rhian grabbed the beds on the opposite sides to me, Natasha grabbed the one opposite me and Olivia took the last one. We were all too tired to talk so we just murmured a goodnight to each other before falling asleep.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Holly. Holly. Holly, wake up." Someone was tapping me on the cheek and speaking. I opened my eyes blearily.

"Wassa time?" I mumbled as I sat up. Sandy was standing by my bed, twisting her dirty-blond hair around her fingers absent-mindedly.

"Seven." She said. "We've been trying to wake you for a few minutes now."

"Oh." I said. "I should have told you, I'm a heavy sleeper. I'll just grab my stuff now, hang on." I quickly grabbed my robes and towel and ran out of the room, following Olivia.

The boys came down a minute after we did. They were yawning and stumbling. I guessed they weren't 'morning' people.

The prefect from yesterday took command of the girls. We followed her out and went down the stairs. I found myself hoping that we didn't need to answer a question for this as well. I didn't think my brain could take it in the morning.

We stopped outside a picture of a lady in a dress. Luckily, we were given a password (Epitaph) and within half an hour, we were all washed and dressed. By this point, our prefect had left us so it was up to us to find our way back and then to the Great Hall. In all the fuss, I forgot to look at the plaque.

We began to head for the Great Hall. After ten minutes, Rhian tentatively asked us if we knew where we were going. We stopped and looked at each other.

"I have no idea." I said.

"I think we go left here…or right…" Sandy muttered. Olivia shrugged.

Natasha smirked. "We go right. Come on, surely _one_ of you should have remembered." She walked off, leaving us to follow her. I found myself disliking her.

As it turned out, she was wrong- the Great Hall was actually in the opposite direction. Luckily, a friendly sixth-year spotted us and turned us around before we could start blaming each other. However, it did me good to see Natasha taken down a peg or two.

As we were walking by the Hall, I spotted a stone wall with words engraved on it. I chanced a glance.

'BATTLE OF THE SNAKES' and 'BATTLE OF HOGWARTS' were the phrases written at the top. I made a mental note to have a proper look when I left breakfast. But for the meanwhile, Sandy was urging me to hurry up.

Not all of the students were in the Hall- I guessed that we were fairly early. We sat down next to the boys who had apparently remembered the way better than we did. Food appeared on the plates and I suddenly realised how hungry I actually was.

About ten minutes later, we all got timetables. I glanced at mine.

_8:50- 9:50- Potions (H)_

_9:55-10:55- Charms (G)_

"The letters stand for the house." Sandy muttered to me. I looked at the timetable. Most of my lessons seemed to be with the Hufflepuffs, but I had Charms with Gryffindor and Herbology with Slytherin. I smiled. At least I would have one lesson with Lysana. And, even better, that would be my third lesson that day.

As soon as I finished eating, I said that I was going back to the tower.

"Don't you want to wait for the owl post?" Olivia asked curiously.

I laughed. "I doubt my parents have figured out a way of trapping an owl long enough to attach a letter to it. I don't think I have any post."

Rhian stood up. "My dad swore he would stay away from birds after that owl. I'll come with you." Sandy said that she didn't want to wait either. We left the Hall.

The wall caught my attention again. I walked over to it and had a proper look. It was just a list of names.

"Oh, that must be the Hogwarts battle memorial. Myrna told me about it." Sandy said in a tone of light interest.

I gulped. "Memorial?" I asked. Suddenly, Hogwarts didn't seem so safe any more. I had a feeling that I should have stuck with Welsh school.

"Oh, it's not common. Don't worry. I mean, look at the dates."

I glanced at the 'Battle of Hogwarts' date. 1998. That was ages ago. But then I looked at the other one.

There were just two names under it and the date was much more recent. Rhian decided to read it out.

"Battle of the Snakes. 5th July 2033. Michelle Grant and Tom Howell. Hmm, I wonder why this one has only got two names."

"Because it wasn't such a serious battle." Sandy said slowly. We looked at her curiously. "My aunt was in Seventh year then." She explained. "Mum told me a bit about this. Slytherins got annoyed about the way they were treated and started a fight. I think the girl was in our house. She was killed in the actual battle. The boy died from his injuries two or so years later. They have plaques in their common rooms now. But, it was mostly school students and hardly any of them wanted to kill anyone. That's why there are only two deaths. Lots of injuries though. My aunt's missing a finger."

We walked away from the memorial. How had Zac never mentioned it to me? How had he missed it? But then, he didn't seem to like the past. Maybe this had never been important. And he was gone by the time of the second battle. A chill ran up my spine. It had only been eleven years before.

"She was in our House." I said, interrupting their conversation about Potions. "There's a plaque by the statue of that lady. It must be for her."

"Who? The statue or Michelle Grant?" Sandy asked, confused.

"The statue," I said sarcastically. "Of course Michelle Grant. Who would give the other lady a plaque? She already got a statue!" This got Rhian chuckling. When we asked her what was so funny, she explained that I sounded very offended about this lady getting a plaque as well as a statue and it just struck her as funny. I couldn't help it. I began to laugh as well.

We had cheered up a lot by the time we arrived back at the Common Room. The doorknob asked us a strange question but, after a few minutes conference, we came up with an answer which was correct.

As soon as we got in, I walked over to the statue and read the plaque.

_In loving memory of: _

_Michelle Victoria Grant._

_7__th__ September 2016 - 5__th__ July 2033._

_A true member of Ravenclaw, loved by many, missed by all. Died a hero._

_May she live in peace._

I looked at the dates and realised something. She was only a few months older than my brother- he had been born in 2017. In fact, they must have been in the same year. I wondered if my brother remembered her. I wondered if he knew of her fate.

"That's sad. She died when she was sixteen." Rhian remarked. Sandy murmured agreement. I did not say anything. "Holly, you're being quiet." Rhian added after a time.

"She was-" I cleared my throat to get the words out. "She must have been in the same year as my cousin. He never mentioned her."

"But you said he was only here for a year. Maybe he never found out." Sandy pointed out. I shrugged. I supposed that she was probably right.

I thought that until we were standing outside the dungeons twenty minutes later. Sandy was explaining to us some of the odd customs some families had, such as naming children after dead relatives or parents. Maybe I was being unduly paranoid, but I suddenly remembered three things.

1) Zac had picked my name.

2) Zac did not have a middle name. Mum told me once that I had gotten mine a few months after I was born.

3) My middle name is Michelle.


	5. The Lies of a Slytherin

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Geth342: First thing first, to the person who put me in a Mary-Sue C2, i've tried to contact you but it hasn't worked (or it has and you're away...) I just wanted to say, i have no problem with critiscism but, if you do have a problem, would you mind explaining it to me and perhaps offering me advice? That way, my writing improves and i'm happy and it provides a better read for the rest of you which (hopefully) makes you happy. I am trying to make Holly more dimensional but it won't really show until after this chapter.

Anyway, readers of my first story may recognise my whole dedication of chapters. Basically, every 5 chapters, i will dedicate the chapter to someone. So, this chapter is being dedicated to HiddenDepths-x who has reviewed both stories and has given me an idea (which i'm not going to say because as a short person who is constantly used as an armrest and because this idea is actually really obvious to the average person, i feel i need to retain some of my dignity :P)

As i am back in school and am (possibly stupidly) doing an extra subject, my time is a bit limited so my update times will generally be around 10 days now. However, i'm away quite a lot in the next 10 days so the next update won't be until the 24th! Anyhow, i hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 5: The Lies of a Slytherin

I did not have time to consider this much further because an old man had appeared and told us to get inside the room. We walked in, following the Hufflepuffs. All of us were nervous about our first lesson.

You could sit in groups of four. Somehow, I got left out of this with my House so I sat with three Hufflepuff boys who didn't seem to mind my presence although one of them did ask, with a bit of a grin, if I had enjoyed my swim the day before. I considered thumping him but decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

The teacher introduced himself to us as Professor Chappell. He informed us that Potions was a difficult, intricate subject which few people could truly appreciate. If any of us messed around, threw things or got into fights, we would be severely punished. Then it occurred to him that he should call out the register.

"Rhian Aldritt." He began.

"Here."

"Jonathon Barlow."

"Here."

"Holly…" The man trailed off and he stared at the paper as though there were something strange written on it.

"Here," I called eventually. He looked up, startled.

"Oh, right… Do you have an older brother?" He sounded deeply confused. I pretended that I was confused as well.

"Yes." I said. "But he isn't magical." He kept looking at me so I added, "unless you've ever met Peter Rotem? Or Carew."

Chappell shook his head. "No, no, just…Anthony Eagan?"

"Here." And so it continued.

He made us take down a few notes on basic ingredients in potion making and told us to research a basic potion for the next lesson as we would be making it. Overall, it was not a bad first lesson. I could see Potions becoming a fun subject and I was already tempted to read more into the book on herbs and fungi.

Our next lesson was Charms with the Gryffindors. I wasn't so keen to go- after all, Danny and Jenny would be there- but Sandy said that, this time, she would sit with me. We discussed the lesson on the way up and I found that, for once, I was not the only person who wanted to read more about the subject. It made a nice change.

The Gryffindors were already there and as soon as I walked near, Jenny walked up to me.

"Hello Holly." She said politely.

"Hello Jenny." I replied, equally polite.

"Congratulations on being put into Ravenclaw. It's a pity about…" She trailed off.

"Thank you." I said, not rising to her bait. We both knew that she was talking about Lysana. I had no intention of arguing with her. If she wanted to be an idiot, she could, but she didn't have to drag me down with her.

Luckily, before she could add anything else, the teacher beckoned us in. True to her word, Sandy sat next to me. Devyn solved the pairing problem by sitting with his brother.

Our teacher was one of the new ones- a Professor Langtree. He smiled charmingly at us, introduced himself and began to call the register.

"Rhian Aldritt."

"Here."

"Clifford Andover."

"Here."

Silence. He was staring at the sheet, his mouth working. Finally, he looked up at the room.

"Which…which one of you is Holly Carew?" He asked in a strangled voice. I stared at him. What was so special about me? Sandy gave me a nudge and told me to answer.

I stuck my hand up. "I am sir." He looked at me, a look of shock flashing across his face, and said nothing. I felt that it was upon me to break the silence. "Is there a problem sir?" I asked.

He jerked, startled. "No, no problem. I was just wondering. Do you have an older brother called Zac?"

Okay, so my brother's theory that people might not guess was clearly being shot to pieces. "No sir." I said.

"Alright." He muttered. He ran his hand over his scar before continuing with the register. I found myself wondering exactly how similar Zac and I looked. A few of the others gave me bemused looks but he did not say anything else.

He was actually a very interesting teacher. He made us write down notes on wand movements but kept us amused by adding stories about wizards who had buffaloes on their chests or students who accidently blew up classrooms. He seemed to be looking at me when he said this one. I felt this was a bit unfair- I hadn't been given an opportunity to blow anything up yet- but when I looked up to meet his eyes, he was looking at someone else.

When the lesson ended, he called me back and asked me if I had a brother at all. I said I did but he was not magical. Next, bizarrely, he asked me if my older brother had a girlfriend. I gave him the lie that he had been married once. Finally, he asked me if I had met the new teaching assistant. I said no and asked him why. He said that there was no reason and told me to go to break.

Sandy, Rhian and Devyn were waiting for me when I left the room. They were talking about what a great teacher Professor Langtree was. I remained silent- he had seemed nice but he was definitely strange. We headed to the courtyard near the Greenhouses and talked about any random things.

"You know," Sandy remarked as we headed towards the Greenhouses at the end of break, "now that I think about it, your surname does seem familiar Holly."

I looked at her. "Probably because everyone seems to want to know if I have an older brother. You've heard it enough by now." I then mimicked Professor Langtree, making them laugh.

"I mean," Sandy said after she had finished laughing, "your surname is familiar. It's like someone's mentioned you before…what's your cousin called again?"

I groaned. "Edward Simmons. You know what, shall I just lay out my family tree and pin it to myself so people will stop asking me questions?"

"Yeah Sandy, you're getting like the Slytherins." Devyn laughed. I wondered whether he meant that seriously. He was okay with Lysana but I still got the impression that he was not over-fond of Slytherin.

Max Perkins, Cain and Anthony arrived next, followed by Natasha and Olivia. Finally, the Sytherins arrived- unified in a group as opposed to the stragglers we were. It struck something odd with me. They had achieved what we had not- they were one group. I wondered whether we were the strange ones for splitting up or whether they were strange for sticking together.

Devyn nudged me and I looked up to see Lysana smiling at me. I waved and was about to walk over to her when a woman showed up and let us into the Greenhouse. I considered sitting next to her but found that there was not enough room- Slytherins sat on one side of the table, Ravenclaws on the other. It occurred to me that this was the first time in my lessons that the two Houses had sat separately from each other.

Professor Zettel was a middle-aged woman and the Head of Gryffindor. She took a stern approach to us and informed us that if we ever, _ever_ messed around, she would have us expelled quicker than we could say 'Harry Potter' (although I wasn't overly sure why we would want to). The good point about her was that she showed no interest in my family. Her theory on teaching was more hands-on than our last two teachers. She told us to get into pairs and plant something basic. I saw this as my opportunity to work with Lysana- there were an odd number of Slytherins as well- but as soon as I started to walk over to her, another girl spotted me and declared that Lysana was her partner- something which appeared to startle Lysana as much as it did me. I looked around wildly, trying to see if any of my friends didn't have partners. They did. So who would I be put with?

"Looks like we're together again Carew," A voice from behind me drawled. I whirled around.

"You!" I exclaimed.

He sighed. "Why is it that every time you greet me, you have to say that? Next time, say hello Rune or something more…I don't know, friendly." Rune was looking at me with something like amusement on his face.

"Well, you didn't say hello Holly." I pointed out.

He shook his head, still amused. "I didn't say 'You!' either. Anyway, we're partners apparently." He gestured to the plant and pot in front of us. "Shall we get to work?"

The task was fairly easy and Rune was a good partner so we completed the task very quickly- in fact, we were the first ones to do it. I watched the rest of the class do the task, my gaze finally settling on Lysana and her partner.

"I wouldn't expect her to be your partner for anything." Rune's humour-laden voice butted into my thoughts. "In fact, if she's still your friend by the next time she sees you, I'll be surprised."

I looked at him. "What makes you say that?"

He smirked. "She has…unfortunate room mates. She believes one thing, they believe another. And they have her older brother and his friends. They'll help her see where her best interests are. And those don't include you."

I glared at him. He was obviously trying to upset me. "Look, I know Slytherins don't like people like me but Lysana's not like the rest of you so-"

"The rest of us?" He interrupted in a light tone. "Surely you're not saying that we _all_ have those views?" He laughed but his smile did not reach his eyes. "Oh no, you haven't quite gotten it right. Despite what you see, Slytherin is no longer a House where people group together. It was once but these days, we give off that appearance and remain divided. And that is based on whether people like you should be accepted here."

"Oh." I was really confused now. Was Rune lying or were Natasha and Devyn lying? "But everyone said-" I began.

He interrupted me again. "Don't believe everyone Carew. If I had those ideas, would I be talking to you? Would I have saved your life?" He grinned at me. "Besides, I know you don't believe that. I heard you last night."

"That's not the point," I said, acutely aware that it probably was the point, "the point is that even if people try to tell her not to like me, she will. We're friends." I stated this last part proudly.

"Oh yes, if she was a _Ravenclaw_, I wouldn't doubt you. But, like I said, her new 'friends'-" Here, he used air quotes. "-will help her realise that you are not in her best interests." He looked at me properly, his grey eyes meeting mine. A drop of pity crept into them. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head defiantly. "Don't be. You'll see I'm right." He did not reply. I got the impression that he felt words would be wasted on me. We did not speak again.

Shortly after this, Zettel called an end to the task and the lesson finished. I thought about saying something to Lysana, just to prove to Rune that she would be my friend, but she left very quickly. I forced myself to ignore Rune's knowing look as he left.

"Are you okay?" Devyn asked me suddenly as we left the Greenhouse. Rhian and Sandy were ahead of us.

"Of course I am." I replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugged. "You were with that Slytherin and it looked like he was upsetting you. I wouldn't put it past him."

I shook my head. "No, he was just telling me a bit about Slytherin…have you spoken to him before?"

He snorted. "No, but Slytherins aren't the nicest people around. They're bullies."

"Lysana's a Slytherin."

"Okay, mostly bullies. I suppose you have to get an odd one occasionally."

Could he hear himself? He sounded almost exactly like the way the Slytherins were supposed to sound. "Rune Everett saved my life." I pointed out. "He hasn't tried to kill me and I haven't met any bad Slytherins yet." I glared at him.

"Yet being the operative word." He muttered.

I opened my mouth to really lay into him but before I could utter a sound, we reached the other three boys who wanted Devyn to settle a bet. I stalked off without saying goodbye to him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I was forced to admit that Rune may have had a point about Lysana. Whenever I saw her, she always looked away. If I waved to her, she would not wave back. In Herbology on Wednesday, she turned almost immediately to the girl who had been her partner on the Monday. This time however, Devyn claimed me as a partner possessively, glaring at Rune; although we had both apologised to each other, he was convinced that Rune had upset me and I could not convince him otherwise. Max ended up working with one of the other Slytherin boys.

I met Professor Rowland in the lesson after that- she was sitting in the back of our first Transfiguration lesson on Wednesday. Apparently, all the teachers had heard that I did not have a magical older brother although when Professor Ramik called out my name, I glanced at the assistant. She had one eyebrow raised. I wondered what Langtree had told her. Apart from that however, she made no effort to talk to me and I did not attempt to either.

After the lesson, I saw Lysana walking by herself. Excusing myself from my friends, I walked over to her and said hello. She greeted me unenthusiastically. From there, we proceeded to have an awkward conversation –she was fine, Slytherin was fine, her roommates were fine, and everyone was fine. I attempted to get some more detail off her but she was mostly silent and often looking over one shoulder. If she had not been looking over her shoulder, she might have had time to warn me about the people coming behind me.

"Look at the little mudblood soiling our hallway." A girl sneered. I whirled around to see Lysana's partner standing there with the other Slytherin girls and a few older students. I gulped- I was outnumbered.

"Well, see ya Lysana." I muttered and started to walk away. Someone grabbed the back of my robes and informed me that I wasn't going anywhere. They turned me around and I found myself looking at an enormous girl.

"Let's get this straight. You don't bother Malfoys. You don't bother us. If you cross us you get hurt. And count yourself lucky that we don't get you expelled." She snarled.

"How would you do that?" The question was out before I could control myself. "You have no grounds."

This got them laughing and not in an 'oh what a lovely joke way'. I became even more scared. "Look, _mudblood_, you and your kind aren't wanted here. It won't take much to get rid of you."

"You can try." I said, fighting the impulse to sew my lips closed. I could tell that what I had just said was going to mean trouble.

I was right. They all smirked at me. Two of the girls went behind me and grabbed me whilst another one hit me until I was well and truly battered with a broken nose. To finish it off, the large girl cast a spell which kept me frozen in place, on the floor. But perhaps the worst part of it was that Lysana made no move to help me and, at the end of it, she walked away with her partner, leaving me lying on that floor.

I was found about twenty minutes later by a few Hufflepuffs, headed by none other than the famous Faith Weasley. They helped me to stand up and provided support for me on the way to the Hospital Wing. Faith, surprisingly, was not as loud as I expected her to be. Then again, I had heard so much about her that I doubted she could be anywhere near as loud as the descriptions I had had of her. Her friends were more talkative, asking me who had done this, sympathising with me about the Slytherins (I did not have the energy to tell them that not all Slytherins were like the ones who had beaten me- after all, Rune had tried to warn me) and asking me whether I was enjoying life in the castle. In all this, Faith spoke very little, except to comment that I really didn't seem to have much luck. This got all the girls sympathising with me about my drowning experience.

They deposited me in the Hospital Wing, promising to tell my friends where I was. Although I was fairly easy to heal with magic (something which amazed me), the nurse insisted on keeping me in for the rest of the day- whether this was because I was ill or because she guessed that I did not want to encounter my attackers again she did not say. During the day, Professor Neclor dropped in to find out who had attacked me so violently. I discovered that I could only name Lysana and despite what she had done to me, I didn't want to hurt her. Instead, I said that it was some older Slytherins but I couldn't remember much about them. He did not look happy but left, saying that he hoped I would feel better by the next day.

At the end of the school day, all of the first-year Ravenclaws attempted to visit. The nurse- Mrs. Fry- informed us that I could only have six visitors so Natasha and Anthony left, telling me to get well soon and promising to find some way to kill the Slytherins. I hoped that they were joking. The others stayed for a little while longer until, finally, it was just Devyn, Sandy and myself. I thought that Devyn might start telling me that he had been right all along. Instead, he launched into a story about his first attempt at riding a broom which had me laughing so much that I almost forgot where I was. When the pair left, I felt a little bit sad because now I could only dwell on Lysana and my homework.

To my surprise, I had three more visitors that evening. Rune popped in after dinner with one of his friends. I watched them suspiciously.

"Some of us have been talking and we decided that I'm the best one to tell you." He began.

"Is this a threat?" I asked cautiously. I hoped that Mrs. Fry could stop them if they tried to hurt me.

Both boys shook their heads. "No, we're just here to tell you that the attack wasn't an idea from ALL the Slytherins. Some of us think it's disgusting."

"How do I know you're not lying?" I asked gruffly.

"Slytherins don't often lie- we prefer the truth." The second boy said.

"The truth has more uses. Lies aren't always useful." Rune looked at me. "No self-respecting Slytherin lies."

"Lysana did." I said, fighting back tears. "She said she was my friend."

Both boys left as tears began to streak down my face.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My last visitor arrived about an hour after the boys had left. I was really surprised to see her- she had no reason to be there.

"Professor Langtree was worried about you. He worries about students a lot." She said in answer to my unspoken question. "You didn't turn up to Charms- I was supposed to be helping out there as well."

I looked at Rowland. "I thought my friends said where I was?"

"They did. He still got worried. First-years don't usually get their noses broken on their third day here."

"Oh." I still could not think of much to say to her.

"He was even more annoyed when Professor Neclor told Professor Chappell that it was some students from Slytherin who did it. Do you know which ones it was?"

I shook my head. "I didn't get a proper look at them."

"I see."

We were silent for a little while longer. I found myself thinking of the next day- I did not have Herbology and for that I was glad. But what could I do if I saw Lysana again? And we had Herbology on Friday…Devyn would probably be my partner and glare at the Slytherins but I would have to avoid all the Slytherin girls.

"Holly, what's wrong? Don't cry." Until she said that, I had had no idea that I was crying.

"It's n-nothing." I sobbed. "It's…" She looked at me kindly and I suddenly found myself explaining my problem without names. I simply said that I had had an argument with my Slytherin friend and she had really hurt me. I said that none of my Ravenclaw friends liked the Slytherins but there was another Slytherin I liked and I didn't want to stop talking to him but if they were as bad as everyone said…

She regarded me at the end of this. "Is this something to do with what happened to you earlier?" She asked carefully.

"No." I said, trying to compose my face. "It was a bunch of older girls."

She looked at me. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," I replied, annoyed. "If it was people from my year, wouldn't I have recognised them?" She had no reply and I smirked a bit, realising that I had won.

Suddenly, she burst out laughing. I stared at her, wondering if she was slightly mad- what was so funny? She saw me and instantly tried to stop laughing. She attempted to explain instead, although she was still giggling.

"I'm sorry," she laughed, "it's just, you remind me of someone I knew once. I noticed it in your Transfiguration lesson earlier as well- the way you speak sometimes, or the expressions you use. It's funny." She giggled again, sounding remarkably young. I noticed that her left arm had a jagged mark on it. I wondered where it came from.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously, trying to get my attention away from the mark.

She grinned. "Well, put it this way. You were lying about the older girls because your face took on the expression my friend used when he was telling his most pressing lies. And now you're trying to show me that it's not true because you have the same 'innocent' look. When you pointed out that you would have recognised people from your year, you gave me the same smirk my friend did when he felt he had a winning point." I stared at her, open-mouthed. How well had she known this person, to study his face movements so carefully? It scared me to think that anyone could know me so well as to do that. I wondered if it spooked this person as well.

"He must have been a good friend." I commented at last.

She shrugged. "He was when I knew him. The last time I saw him though, I told him to go away before I hurt him. We had an argument. I haven't seen him since." Her face worked for a moment and then she brightened up. "Anyway, to your problem…if she's your friend, she'll apologise to you. And there's no reason not to be friends with this other Slytherin if you want to. If you hide it from your friends, it'll become worse. And no, I'm not saying this because I'm a teacher. Slytherins can make good friends, sometimes."

I smiled- that was a weight taken off my mind. "Thanks a lot Professor." I said.

She shook her head, smiling. "Don't fret Holly. It's always good to talk about problems with people- if you bottle it up, it's just worse. And now, I have to go. Get well soon."

She stood up and walked out of the room. I watched her, thinking. She seemed fairly young but some of the things she said made her sound older. I wondered what had happened to her- why did she have a scar on her arm and why did she limp when she walked? And where had I seen her before?

That thought startled me. Seen her before? I had only just met her! But, the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. I had seen that woman before somewhere. And, what was more was that, when I had seen her, she hadn't had a scar. Something really weird was going on.


	6. Of Letters and Friendship

Disclaimer: If i owned Harry Potter, i would be really, really rich. But i'm not really, really rich so i guess i don't own it. Pity.

Geth342: Okay, that may well have been TOO long an update time...although proof-reading this took ages. I hope you all enjoy this.

The next update will be on the 4th October. Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 6: Of Letters and Friendship

Sandy and Rhian both gave me a hug when I arrived at the Great Hall the next day while the others made space for me to sit. I felt a bit like a celebrity with bodyguards. Professor Longbottom had told everyone that the attack on me would not go unpunished and that anyone with information should come forward. It didn't matter to me. The damage was done; I had learnt my lesson. From then on, I was a lot quieter and I made an effort to keep out of the way of Lysana and the Slytherins.

I don't think I realised how worrying my behaviour had become- I only spoke when I was spoken to and I tried to spend all of my time either in the library or the Common Room, usually in a corner. I spent a lot of time with Rhian, Sandy and Devyn but I did not add much to the conversations. In essence, I became like a living ghost. I didn't even bother to stand up for Rune and the nicer Slytherins in discussions. It felt like all the fight had gone out of me and, gradually, most people stopped talking to me. That hurt but it was better than putting myself in danger again. It was better to be one of the crowd than to fight and die.

Of course, my parents had been told about the attack. I had received a long letter off them asking if I was okay. I had sent a short one back assuring them that I was fine and then telling them a bit about my friends and the teachers as well as the plaque. I did not mention Lysana or my drowning incident.

When I went to the Owlry to send it, I found myself starting off with Sandy and- slowly- being followed by more and more people who 'just happened to be going this way'. The most bizarre group was Rune and his friend who were walking a few metres behind us and ignoring the vicious glares sent by everyone else. I felt envious of them. What I wouldn't give to be able to do that.

I received a reply from my parents a few weeks later. I was still as quiet as before although Rune (who had swiftly grabbed me in Herbology a few days earlier and declared loudly that since I seemed to be the best at it, I was going to be his partner and no Devyn, he wasn't going to hurt me) managed to get me laughing a bit as he told me a strange story about his little sister on a toy broom and a vase. It felt strange to laugh- as though it was something other people did but not necessarily me- and I found myself wondering if he had another motive. After all, he did seem rude sometimes.

The letter from my parents told me about life at the house and what my friends had been up to as well as asking me a bit about Hogwarts and what had happened to Lysana. They did not mention Zac and the reason for that was clear- he had decided to send his own letter. It had 'READ IN PRIVATE' written on the front of the envelope so I ended up sitting on my bed, behind my drapes and trying to ignore the sounds of the Common Room as I read.

_Holly,_

_Hello. It's Zac. I read your letter to our parents and thought I would write to you. I hope your nose is better and I'm very sorry to hear that some Slytherins attacked you. Was Lysana Malfoy one of these Slytherins? I notice that you didn't mention her in your letter. I have no doubt that people have mentioned this to you before but perhaps you should avoid Slytherins. Speaking from experience, I can assure you that we're very temperamental people (although perhaps not as much as Gryffindors). _

_Speaking of which, congratulations on getting into Ravenclaw. That's a good House and I think it will suit you well._

_You mentioned the plaque from my year- Michelle Grant wasn't it? The name does ring a bell. I think she was in my Herbology class. But apart from thinking that she had blond hair and was argumentative, I can't remember much about her. I'm sorry to hear that she passed away though._

_As for your middle name, as you may have guessed, I didn't get it from her. By coincidence, a girl in my year at High School- a close friend actually- died of cancer a month after you were born. Her name was Michelle Thomas and I was quite upset. She always wanted to meet you but she was too ill to see you, so I named your middle name after her. Hope that solves the mystery._

_You've also said that the teachers are asking odd questions. It's understandable- Professor Chappell was head of Slytherin. Professor Langtree…could you describe him for me? And Professor Rowland? _

_Also- an odd request, I know- but are they close? If they are who I think they are then they weren't particularly close but if one is sending the other to check up on you then maybe… never mind. It's ridiculous. You should listen to them though- they're fairly sensible people._

_Anyway, have fun and try to stay out of trouble._

_Your brother,_

_Zac._

I sat back, feeling really confused. I was used to Zac's formal way of writing but he seemed interested in the two new teachers, unusually so for him. For one thing, how would I know if they were close? It wasn't as if I was going to spy on them or ask them. No, I decided. Clearly Zac had gone mad. Resigned, I scribbled him a letter informing him that Lysana was fine (and clearly popular), that I had only been mildly interested about my middle name but I was sad to hear about his friend (why had he never told me that, a small part of my mind wanted to know), what the two teachers looked like and that I had no idea if they were close and how on earth was I supposed to find out? It came out looking like a mess- I was writing it on my bed. However, I was so engaged in this that I barely had time to hide the two letters when Sandy came in to look for me.

"Hey," she said, looking at me. "We were wondering where you were. You've been gone for a while."

"Just writing a letter." I replied quietly.

She looked bemused but knew that questioning me would get her nowhere. "Alright. Do you want to come down? Dev says he wants your help on Potions."

I nodded mutely and we walked back together to the Common Room where I proceeded to help Devyn with the Potions essay. Once that was done, I went over to the bookshelves and took a book out- one plus to my self-imposed exile was that I did all my homework very quickly. This book was about Goblin wars. It sounded interesting but a few hours with Professor Binns had taught me that History was not as exciting as it should have been. Then again, it wasn't as if I had anything better to do and at least I would be able to tune out in Binns' lessons without feeling guilty.

I posted the letter the next day, sending it to 'Mr. Carew'. I was fully aware that my father would probably end up getting it but I was past the point of caring. If Zac wanted to act weird then Dad could read his post. That seemed fair to me, if slightly malicious. This time, I managed to get to and from the Owlry with only Sandy for company.

And in all this time, I never once looked at Lysana for longer than a second.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

As well as having strange behaviour, the other thing which I was oblivious to was the expression on my face. Or at least, the expression which crept on when I wasn't concentrating. And of course, Rune felt that he was the one who should tell me about it.

A few days after I had sent the letter- roughly four weeks after the attack- we had another Herbology lesson. Once again we were working in pairs and once again, Rune managed to grab me. I should have objected but the will to fight had all but left me so I agreed to work with him. I did feel a bit sorry for Devyn- he wouldn't be able to work and glare murderously at Rune at the same time. At least, not without messing one action up.

For a Slytherin, Rune was surprisingly chatty. As we started to work, he told me about his winning a swim race. I stopped listening and just worked because I didn't really want to give him an excuse to increase his inflated ego. I didn't realise that he wanted me to stop listening.

"Ah ha!" He suddenly exclaimed, startling me enough to make me look up. "You're good Carew, but you're not that good." I looked at him questioningly, wondering whether he had lost his mind. He smirked. "If you're not paying attention, you start looking like you're about to cry. Nice try at hiding it though."

I stared at him. "Pardon?"

He laughed in complete contrast to what he was saying. "If you're not concentrating on pretending everything's fine, you start looking like you're about to cry."

"Okay." I went back to working, trying to ignore him. If he found that funny then maybe he wasn't worth my time. Besides, I didn't look sad. Someone would have mentioned it to me.

He shook his head. "And no Carew, I'm not making this up. You're unhappy- even McDonald can see it. A few weeks ago you probably would have had a go at me for suggesting you looked sad." I said nothing, determined not to get into an argument. How would he know what I would have done a few weeks ago? At that point we had had two conversations and shared my near-death experience. It certainly didn't mean that he knew me.

"Could you pass me the pestle please?" I asked quietly, not looking at him but trying to make myself look happy. To my surprise it was harder than I remembered. When was the last time I had smiled by myself?

He passed it and sighed. "Carew, you look like you have a stomach ache. If you have to be sad, could you stick with the original expression? This one is giving _me_ a stomach-ache."

"Thank you." I muttered tonelessly as I picked up the pestle.

"Carew, look at me." Without thinking, I looked up. Now that I was looking at Rune properly, I could see that his face was no longer laughing. "I don't know if you've noticed but Malfoy isn't exactly happy. If I didn't know better, I'd swear the pair of you were sisters."

"Why is she unhappy?" I asked in the same monotone.

"Because a certain best friend of hers was hurt and now won't speak to her."

"Looks like they're getting along fine." I replied, glancing at Lysana and her partner. But only for a second.

"Were you always this stupid or is it a new thing?" He wanted to know. I said nothing. "She's stubborn but she is sorry, you know." He added conversationally when it became clear that I wasn't going to say anything.

"Then why doesn't she say so?" I didn't look at him as I said this.

"Because she's not stupid- you didn't see what they did to her stuff." He chuckled. "Besides," he added in a more serious voice, "she hasn't told anyone. Not even her brother. But that doesn't stop her looking upset, staying incredibly silent- quieter than you actually- and constantly re-reading letters when she thinks no one's looking. It's making the rest of us depressed so if you're not going to speak to her for yourself or her, take pity on the Slytherins who didn't beat you up." I glanced at him. He was wearing such a mournful expression that I had to smile. It still felt weird.

"She attacked me." I muttered, unwilling to accept this idea that she was sorry.

"She's in slightly more danger than you."

"They broke my nose!"

"Merlin, are all girls this stubborn? Carew-"

"Mr. Everett, is there something you want to share with the class? Is that why you decided to ignore me when I told everyone to stop?" We both whirled to face Zettel. I had been so caught up in the argument that I hadn't heard her. Apparently, neither had Rune.

He smirked. "No Professor. I was simply wondering what the difference between a granite and an ivory pestle was. I must have been thinking out loud. I'm sorry." I had absolutely no idea where this lie had come from but the rest of the class started sniggering, something which didn't appear to faze Rune.

Zettel raised her eyebrow. "Perhaps you would do better asking Professor Chappell, Mr. Everett?"

"Great idea Professor." Rune grinned. Zettel merely shook her head and went back to teaching. I was surprised that he hadn't gotten punished but then, I had already noticed that he had a certain way with people.

At the end of the lesson, I shoved my belongings into my bag and tried to leave quickly in order to avoid the Slytherins. This backfired when I tripped on the way out. My bag opened and my items went sprawling across the floor. I tried to ignore the jeers of the Slytherins as I scrambled around, trying to grab my books.

"You miss her too, don't you?" A voice asked softly.

"No." I replied, equally soft.

"Is that the truth?"

A pause. "No."

"Hey, Everett. Go away and leave her alone." Devyn had walked up to us, flanked by the other three Ravenclaw boys. None of them were smiling.

Rune smiled. "I was just handing Carew her book back. Now don't mind me." He gave me a book and swaggered out, still smiling. The boys shot disgusted looks after him and then proceeded to ask me if I was okay. I assured them I was. We left- me in silence, them talking about some Witch band. I made sure that I kept my face bland. Bland, but not sad.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Hey, I thought you never got owl post, Holly. So are they just attracted to you?" Rhian joked as a strange owl pecked my hand impatiently. I tried to smile as I wrestled the note off the owl.

"I guess so." I replied in a strange attempt at a joke. On Rhian it sounded natural. It fell flat with me.

"Must be a new perfume," Sandy added cheerfully. "Mind lending it to me?"

"Sure." Once again, the joke disappeared. Sandy and Rhian didn't seem to have noticed and carried on laughing. I took the opportunity to read the note.

_Holly,_

_I'm really sorry about the attack. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, could you meet me by the Whomping Willow on Saturday at 11 o'clock? I want to apologise in person. _

_Lysana Malfoy._

I was confused. There was something off about the handwriting and why hadn't Lysana used Siren? I supposed that Siren could be delivering a letter to her parents but still…the handwriting?

"I still can't believe your brother managed to land on Malfoy's hand." I heard Max say. "How did he do that?"

"Knowing Danny, he aimed." Devyn replied dryly. Everyone laughed. I glanced towards the Slytherin table and searched out Lysana. Her hand did seem bruised. Maybe that was why her handwriting was off.

I did not mention the note to the others. I did not mention it to Rune either, although he did not claim me as a partner on Friday. Rhian did instead and quickly became covered in soil. The one thing I had noticed about Rhian was how accident-prone she was. She was the only person in our year whose first experience on a broom was flying straight into a tree. She had been very embarrassed about it so Sandy, being Sandy, immediately flew up a few feet and made herself fall off just to make Rhian feel better and thus broke her wrist. The teacher had not been overly impressed with either of them and had left us and the Hufflepuffs to wait whilst the pair went to the Hospital Wing.

Oddly, out of that experience, the one person I did feel sorry for was Faith Weasley. As soon as Professor Bell, Sandy and Rhian had gone, everyone started pestering her to start flying like her famous relations. She turned more and more red, mumbling something about being told to stay on the ground. It was only when Bell came back that they finally stopped asking her.

Finally, Saturday arrived. It was October now and quite cold. Sandy claimed that she was fully intending to stay in the Common Room by the fire, as did Rhian. Natasha and Olivia- who didn't hang around with us much anyway- went to the library to read up on the levitation charm. The boys had decided to see if they could charm their pencil cases to race each other. Considering the best they could do was making a few feathers hover, I thought that this would probably keep them occupied for the weekend. However, this also meant that I would have to sneak out to avoid suspicion.

I waited until Natasha and Olivia had left before declaring that I needed to do some more research as well and I would head down to the library. As soon as I was out, I ran to the Entrance Hall and then walked outside, glad that no one had seen me.

Lysana was already there. I kept my face blank as I approached. She did the same.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked me coldly.

I looked at her "What do you mean? I thought _you_ wanted to apologise."

"Apologise for what?" She sneered.

"Um…how about letting your friends beat me up?" I asked and then looked around. This was a trap. It was so obvious. Why hadn't I seen it?

"That was your fault. Scum like you shouldn't be allowed here." Her voice was cold. Her eyes were worried. Such an odd contrast.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time, I'll just go away. And next time a pureblood speaks to me, I'll walk off." I was getting angry now, ignoring the threat of another beating-up. "I thought you were nice. My mistake."

"Did you just call me here to shout at me?"

"Did you just call me here to remind me of my place? You won, Malfoy. I'm never going to speak to you again. Danny was right- Slytherins are jerks."

"W-what?" She stared at me strangely.

"Well, apart from Rune Everett, Slytherins do seem to be blood-obsessed jerks. I should have let Danny pound you." I looked at her, disgusted. "I'm off. See ya, Malfoy." It was the first time that I had spoken my mind for ages. It felt strangely liberating.

I turned around and began to walk off but before I could get very far, I heard a thump. I turned around. There was a book lying in the mud. I picked it up- it was the biography of Harry Potter- and looked at the girl questioningly.

Her pale cheeks flushed. "I…said you could borrow it, Carew. Malfoys always keep their word."

"No thanks."

There was silence as we regarded each other. Then she groaned and said wearily, "I'm sorry, alright? Holly, this is dumb. I got threatened, attacked and told to stop talking to you. And I'm sorry that I didn't help you when the girls attacked you." She looked at me, her pale-blue eyes glistening. "I guess if you don't want to speak to me…" She looked away. I found myself walking next to her.

"I'm sorry for insulting you." I said softly. "It just…hurt. I'd love to borrow the book." I smiled shyly at her. She smiled back and held her arms out to give me a hug. I was suddenly reminded of the Lysana I had met on that shopping trip.

"Seriously though, what did you want to talk about?" She asked after a while, smiling.

I was confused. "Nothing. I got a letter saying that you wanted to apologise."

She frowned. "But I got a letter saying you urgently needed to speak to me." She dug in her pocket and held it out. "Here."

I scanned it quickly. It was an imitation of my writing. I looked at mine. "Rune." I snarled under my breath.

"What?"

"Rune Everett." I said again, louder. "He got annoyed at us so he set us up. I thought something was off about your writing."

"Me too!" She exclaimed, making me laugh. "But I guess he had a nice reason. He's not at all like the other Slytherins."

"Neither are you." I muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked sharply. I shrugged.

"Nothing really. It's just, most of the Slytherins seem to be more…um…manipulative or, um…" I trailed off. I couldn't think of a nice way to say 'a bunch of vicious jerks'.

"Why?" She asked me, quick as a flash.

She had me there. "Dunno." I muttered. "I guess they're not really."

"Yeah, but why do all the manipulative people have to go in one place?" She asked, with a hard look on her face.

"Eh?"

"Why do we get grouped? Why do all the researchers go to Ravenclaw? Why do all the brave idi- uh- chivalrous people go to Gryffindor?"

"Um…" I wondered if she was cracking up. "Because the hat told us to?" I had to admit, that sounded stupid. Lysana didn't seem to care.

"Yes, but why? Why group us?" She sounded irritated now.

"Isn't it something to do with the Founders?" I asked. I remembered reading that somewhere.

"Holly, the Founders are dead." Lysana said slowly. "Why do we still do it?"

"I don't know." I cried in defeat. "Why don't you ask the hat?"

"I did." She stated. I stared at her and asked her what she meant so she sighed and explained. "It wanted to put me in Slytherin and I asked why. So it told me." She paused for a moment.

"Yes?" I prompted.

She shrugged. "Well, then I asked it why we had to have Houses at all." Apparently she wasn't going to disclose the hat's reasons. "I mean, what's the point of grouping people together, apart from to create bullying? Why do you have to highlight someone's qualities and failings? Why can't a Hufflepuff be smart and cunning? What's so special about one House over another?"

"Erm…"

"All it does is isolate people. It's stupid." She breathed out, angry. "Anyway," she continued, "I asked the hat this and it said that I would meet people who were most like me."

I stayed silent. I was beginning to see why she had taken so long when she was being sorted.

"I said that I don't want to meet people who are _like_ me, I want to meet people who are _different_. I've met enough purebloods to last me a lifetime. It wasn't impressed." She breathed out again.

I had to laugh. I couldn't imagine an angry hat.

"Yeah, well," she said, smiling slightly, "it told me off and then it told me that it's never been wrong about a student yet. So I asked it how it would know, if it sits in an office all day." I laughed again. "It asked me if I actually wanted to go to Hogwarts. And I said yes but why did it have to put me in Slytherin just because my family's been there and I'm a bit, uh…what was it…oh yeah- cunning and ambitious. Why couldn't I do that in Gryffindor or something? Except I didn't really want to be in Gryffindor either."

"So, why _are_ you in Slytherin?" I asked. I was curious now. Slytherin seemed to have been something she was opposed to.

"It said that if I was really, _really_ passionate about this then surely I could prove my point by being in Slytherin and showing that I wasn't like a Slytherin. I said I could do that in Ravenclaw but it said that I might not be able to get into the Common Room. Whatever that means."

"I dunno, it sounds like you're way more logical than me." I muttered.

She ignored me. "And we argued a little bit more, but it won with the first point." She looked at me. "Holly," she said hesitantly, "I think I got outsmarted by a hat."

I attempted to keep a straight face as I said, "It happens to the best of us." It didn't work and I ended up laughing. Lysana just looked at me.

"It's not funny Holly." She stated.

"Sorry." I said when I finally managed to gain control. "Just…hats aren't talkers in the Muggle world. Still, maybe the hat's right."

"Sure." She muttered. "Because as you have seen, my House-mates are clearly wonderful, thoughtful people."

"Rune Everett seems alright, if a bit arrogant." I said. Lysana merely nodded. Then something occurred to me. "Lysana… Rune mentioned that Slytherin's divided about Muggle-borns like me. Why don't you just talk to the people who agree with him?"

"Because my brother doesn't agree with him. And none of my room-mates- who have the power to make my life a living hell- are very sympathetic either. They agree with the old creed. This division only came about ten or so years ago."

"Oh." I guessed that made sense.

"But…I don't suppose they can stop us from being friends, right?" She thought for a moment. "Maybe if I ask some of the others for protection. Technically, every group is outnumbered."

"Right." I said, unsure if this made sense. She laughed, guessing the reason for this answer.

"So, what are you doing with the rest of the day?" The girl asked after a few moments of silence.

"Going to the library." I said, dryly. "My friends have formed a guard over me and I said I was going there. If I don't show up soon, they'll think I'm dead." I tried to smile, to show Lysana that I'd forgiven her but it didn't work. We both knew that the reason for this was her fault.

"Sure. I've got Transfiguration homework. I'll walk with you." We set off towards the school in silence. Just before we entered, Lysana suddenly looked thoughtful. I asked her what was wrong. She glanced towards me. "You know the whole division thing?" She asked. I nodded. "Well, do you know the name of the guy who started it all? I think Father told me about him."

"No. Why would I know?" It was a stupid question. Just from the way she looked, I could guess the name of the person. It was obvious.

"He was a muggle-born Slytherin- the only ever muggle-born Slytherin- called Zac Carew." She glanced at me.

Now it was becoming clearer. This would explain why all the teachers liked to question me. But why was Zac expelled? And why had he never mentioned this?

"Never heard of him." I lied. "Well, I have," I amended, "he's the guy everyone thinks is related to me. But why are you telling me this?"

She shrugged. "Just thought you'd be interested. Not a lot of people know that, y'know. Father was friends with one of the people who worked on the case."

"Case?" I asked, but before I could find out, Olivia had spotted me and decided to come and rescue me. I ended up giving Lysana a quick goodbye before going to sit with Olivia and Natasha.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Lysana had said. About Zac. What case had there been? And, if he was the person who had caused the split, why hadn't he mentioned it? I suddenly remembered that he had told me not to go to Slytherin. Was this why?

When Olivia asked me if I was going to do some research on the levitation charm, I said no. Instead I went to the newspaper section. I had decided. I was going to find out all about Zac.


	7. Four Years On

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form.

Geth342: Yep, this is a similar format to the first story. My story ending will make a lot more sense if Holly isn't eleven or twelve so...

Anyone who read the last chapter on the first day it came out, i would like to apologise for my confusing information- on double checking, i learnt that my dates were correct the first time round. D'oh.

So, i hope you enjoy and thanks to my reviewers and favouriters and alerters and whatnot, you rock. My next update will be on the 14th October. Enjoy!

Chapter 7: Four Years On

As it turned out, the amount of information about Zac that existed was miniscule. All the newspapers from before ten years ago had been thrown out. Lysana only knew that Zac had been involved in a case but nothing else- her father was too busy to ask, or so she said. Zac himself was silent. He told me that Lysana must have gotten it wrong because, when he was in Slytherin, he had never mentioned his heritage and hadn't done anything to upset the balance of power. And nothing I could say would persuade him otherwise.

I was pretty sure that Professors Rowland and Langtree had something to do with it. Apart from the odd way in which Professor Langtree treated me (not least the surprise that flashed on his face when I did a charm correctly), I had had quite a few questions about them off Zac. The most bizarre one was being asked to take a photo of them when I was a third-year. I managed it, on a Hogsmeade weekend, but it was very blurry and Devyn appeared in it.

However, towards the end of my first year, I had also asked Professor Rowland if she knew about Zac Carew and, to my surprise, rather than give me the information any other teacher would have been dying to, she said that he had been a few years below her in school and that was it. That confused me. If anything, she looked younger than my brother.

No one else seemed to know anything, or rather, they wouldn't tell me. Sandy said that she knew a Muggle-born had started the Battle of the Snakes but she did not know who. But then Devyn said that it had been a Pureblood who was acquitted of everything. Everyone had different opinions and people kept forgetting things so I only ever received scraps of information.

In other words, no one knew.

By the time I started my fifth year, I was aware of only a few things: Zac had been arrested for something and it wasn't his expulsion. He had lied about being expelled in his third-year because Invisibility charms weren't studied until later. He had probably done something in Slytherin to trigger this but it probably wasn't the Battle of the Snakes: I didn't think he would lie about a friend dying. All in all, it wasn't very much.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I had gotten some of my confidence back after talking to Lysana but my weeks of self-imposed exile had taken their toll. I stayed friends with Devyn, Sandy and Rhian and although we became close, I could never be as close to them as Rhian and Sandy or Devyn and Max were with each other. People found out about my friendship with Lysana and took to ignoring me (apart from Rune who, typically, suggested we have a Slytherin party). Danny and Jenny in particular were angry and Devyn didn't look particularly happy- almost everyone had figured out that Lysana had been one of the people who had beaten me up.

Rune, in complete contrast, was very happy about this because Lysana had stopped looking so depressed. We struck up a solid friendship in Herbology lessons (after he had let me dump soil on him in revenge anyway) and he would often hang around with Lysana and I on the weekend. The weekend had become our time to hang around because the rest of the time was when we wouldn't be allowed near each other. As Rune mentioned once, it seemed to be a doomed love affair except with the love.

My friends seemed content with this. The only problem arose when Devyn and I dated for a bit in our third-year. I started to spend more time with him which excluded Lysana and Rune. Rune thought that Devyn was an idiot so he was often suggesting how much happier I would be if I wasn't dating him. Lysana had liked Devyn but Devyn did not like either particularly and tried to get me to stay away from them which led Lysana to agree with Rune and dislike him as well. That formed a difficult few months of my life and was only truly solved when Devyn and I broke up.

As for school, I did alright. Potions and Charms were my favourite subjects. Transfiguration was my worst. No matter how much reading and practice I did, I was still one of the worst in my class. Astronomy was pretty bad as well but only because I kept losing track of which stars I was looking at. One practice star-chart that I did was so bad that my teacher asked me if I had even used my telescope.

Overall, my existence up until fifth year had been good if a little confusing. So this year, of course, was the year when everything would finally come to a head.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

For the first time since I had known her, I had finally gone over Lysana's house- I had spent my last two weeks of summer there. Her parents had been as enthusiastic as always (i.e. enthusiastic to the point of scaring me) when they saw me and Cygel had been as sullen as always. It had been quite weird to walk around and see the boy glaring at me. When we were deposited on the platform, I was glad to get away from him just so that I could stop feeling guilty for being near him.

We went on to the train quickly. I had been hoping that we could sit with Sandy and the others but that was clearly out of the question- it was amazing how long people could hold grudges. So, as I did every year, I went to sit with Lysana for the first part of the train journey. I was pleasantly surprised when Rune and one of his friends- Richard Drake- came to sit with us. I had been introduced to Richard before and was assured that he was part of the Slytherin group who had nothing against Muggle-borns. Rune informed us that he felt like seeing us and, as I had managed to stop myself from being killed over the summer (he had a habit of saving me from bad situations), he wanted to know how. I stuck my tongue out at him.

When Richard started talking about his trip to Egypt over the summer, I took the opportunity to study my companions. Lysana would have been an icily beautiful young woman if it was not for the mischievous sparkle lodged in her pale-blue eyes or the little smile that seemed to play on her face, shattering the ice. She had matured a lot since the first time I had seen her. Rune had turned into a lanky fifteen-year old but his face seemed to have remained the same- spiky black hair, grey eyes with a touch of amusement and freckles. Richard was a complete contrast to the pair of them- his skin was always a tan colour, his face more pointed and his black hair was as neat as possible. He was also much quieter than the other two.

The few hours I spent there passed quickly. Sitting with the Slytherins was always an interesting contrast to sitting with the Ravenclaws; they always seemed to have a second meaning and it was quite fun working out what this was. I knew the Slytherins felt the same way about me- Richard had commented in one of our first meetings that it was frustrating trying to work out what my hidden meanings were and then realising that I did not have any. But he also said that it was quite refreshing.

Strange though it was, I was secretly glad that none of them had made Prefect. I knew that Sandy had gotten it for the Ravenclaw girls and Devyn said that Cain had gotten it for the boys. I had felt a little jealous of Sandy until Zac informed me that, as far as he had noticed, prefects seemed to get all the awful jobs for no pay and very little reason and they had to stick to the rules. According to him, I should pity Sandy not envy her. It did, at least, make me laugh.

When the lunch cart rolled around, I recognised it as my cue to go and visit my other friends. As usual, Lysana attempted to convince me to stay and I had to decline. I did feel a bit sorry for her- she had no friends who were girls in her year at Slytherin. There were a few older and younger girls but otherwise, she spent all her time with Rune and his friends. I had never quite worked out how she had prevented her room-mates from destroying her stuff but someone said that it had something to do with a bargain (the terms of which I did not know).

I did not know where my friends would be sitting so I walked up the train until I spotted them. In this time I had to avoid a third-year fight, walk through a crowd of nervous First-years and hide from the Slytherin girls whose mission in life seemed to be to embarrass me in as many ways as possible. It was the part of the train journey that I hated most.

"Holly!" Rhian shouted as I came in. "You've arrived." She jumped up and gave me a hug before letting me slide into the seat next to her.

I smiled. "Yep. Here I am."

"Is it just me or has she grown over the summer?" Devyn asked with a smile. I pulled a face. I had had a growth spurt but not a very good one- I wasn't very short but I certainly wasn't the tallest person around. Devyn was just trying to get me to notice him.

I sighed. "Yes, Devyn, you do look taller than before. About one inch taller. Happy?"

He laughed. "Extremely." He wasn't very tall either but he took pride in the fact that he was growing all the time. I guessed he was handsome, in a bookish sort of way, but his smile made him look like an innocent young child.

They asked me what I had done over the summer so I told them about my holidays and refrained from mentioning Lysana. Max and his girlfriend started a conversation about Transfiguration and different research methods. It was certainly different from sitting with the Slytherins. However, I joined in with the conversation and compared essays with the others.

Sandy stopped in about an hour later, looking hassled. I couldn't help smiling- it looked like Zac had been right- but luckily, Sandy was too nice to be offended. She squealed when she saw me and gave me a huge hug before asking us if we wanted to swap places with her. No one did. She sat with us for a little while, asking me about my summer and talking about our rather obscure Charms homework. Some of the homework Professor Langtree gave us seemed to be designed to confuse us and make us question life more than anything else. However, it was enjoyable- at least to the Ravenclaws. Lysana had informed me that she was convinced he was trying to make them all go mad.

A little while after Sandy had left, Cain dropped in to say hello but he did not stay long- he usually hung around with Anthony, Natasha and Olivia. Things were always a bit strange between Natasha and me. It wasn't that we had a lot of arguments- I was too quiet for that- but we did have quite a lot of disagreements and whatever we did irked the other one. We were also masters of hiding this and I couldn't say that I actually disliked her; it was more that I didn't particularly like her. No one else from the Ravenclaws really shared this problem so I never mentioned it.

By the time we arrived at the school, we were all really hungry and eager to go to the feast. As usual, as we headed to the horseless carriages, someone asked me if I fancied another swim. It had been relatively funny in my second year. Now it was just boring. I ignored the voice and fervently hoped that the carriage would not decide that an excursion to the lake would be a good idea: as well as not wanting to give the voice more ammo, I did not really want to experience the lake again.

Every year, there seemed to be someone worthy of note at the sorting. My year had had Faith Weasley and Lysana. There had also been a Creevey, a Zabini, a Scamander and a Lupin in the following years. None of these had had the buzz that Faith and Lysana had had (apart from Lupin) but it was still noticeable.

This year, they were all beaten: Darius Potter, the grandson of Harry Potter was being sorted.

Almost as soon as he entered the room, everyone stared at him. He responded with a confident smile, looking very unbothered by the staring, before glancing towards the Hufflepuff table to wave to his cousin. The boy standing next to him looked a little star-struck. It reminded me of Faith Weasley's friends at the beginning of our First-year- except Faith was much, much quieter.

As everyone was focused on Darius Potter, I attempted to focus on everyone else who was being sorted- not an easy task. I did notice a few other interesting names but not much else. Darius Potter was sorted into Gryffindor almost instantly.

The feast began and we all tucked in happily. The talk was light and easy and I found that I was enjoying myself- I even managed to talk to Natasha without wanting to beat my head against a wall. It was a fun evening.

Until I heard someone say, "Hello Holly. Mind if I sit here?"

I turned around to look at the speaker. "Rune?"

"Good observation skills sweetheart." He winked at me. I had to smile- his flowery names and winks were used just to annoy Devyn. And Devyn never seemed to be able to work this out. Or he could and he just didn't care. "Now can I sit down?"

"Um…sure." I said, slightly confused.

"Absolutely not." Devyn said at the same time.

"Lady's vote, McDonald, lady's vote. Holly, move up." He smirked at Devyn whilst I obediently moved. Rune slid between us, cheerfully nicking a few chips off my plate.

"Everett, go back to your table." Anthony spat, looking murderous. I noticed that other people were looking at us.

"Now that's not friendly, Eagan. Tell you what. If you let me sit here for a while, you can come sit on our table tomorrow." His voice was still laden with humour in the tone which told me that he was trying to create mischief.

"Why would I want to?"

"Why, to mingle with your peers." Rune said in a tone of surprise. "How sad is it if you only know your House? Broaden your horizons I say." He winked at Devyn again and put his arm around me, which was usual behaviour for him. He did it to any girl within two metres of him.

"Get your hands off her." My sadly predictable friend snarled.

Rune shrugged and lifted his arm. "Alright, alright. I'll give you the same treatment. Then it's fair." He moved to put his arm around Devyn, making me giggle. No one else near me seemed to find it funny. I turned around briefly and spotted Richard, Lysana and another boy laughing. At least they could see the humour.

"Get. Off. Me."

"Fine, fine." Rune sighed. "But I want to show my companionship in some way. So, you pick. Is it you or Holly?"

"How about neither?"

"Should I give you a kiss, honey? Then we're even." He batted his eyelashes and moved towards Devyn, having sensed the taller boy's weakness. Devyn scrambled backwards into Max.

"Stay away from me."

"Rune, you can put your arm around me if you really want." I interjected, sighing. "Dev, get off Max." Rune instantly moved towards me and put his arm back around my shoulders. Grudgingly, Devyn moved as well.

"What are you doing here, Slytherin?" A sixth-year asked. Rune opened his mouth to answer. "And no smart answer. Why are you here?"

"Well, Ravenclaw," Rune drawled whilst making himself a ham sandwich, "We thought that we only get to see Holly for a few hours on the train up here while you get her for all the time after. So, to even things up, I decided to sit with her for a while." He took a bite out of the ham sandwich.

"And Lysana agreed to this?" I asked before anyone else could add to the discussion. It didn't sound like a Lysana thing to do.

He swallowed. "Yep. Well, she said yes if I did it first. And Richard and Cassius said that I wouldn't."

"Oh. So it wasn't for my company?" I asked, trying to ignore all the glares. Rune seemed to be doing it easily.

He looked at me, his eyes losing part of their humour. "Now that makes me sound mean." He remarked. His voice was still humorous. "I am here primarily for your company. However, I'm not one to give up easy money." His eyes started laughing again. "Eat your dinner. It's getting cold."

"Oh yeah." I mumbled in surprise and obediently ate some food.

"So, sweetheart, you looking forward to OWLs?" Rune asked, smirking as Devyn swore under his breath.

"Who looks forward to exams?" I asked curiously.

"I thought all Ravenclaws did."

I rolled my eyes and hoped that he would leave the table before everyone else killed him. My friends were all pretending to have conversations but it was clear that they were listening to us. "I told you, we like learning. Not sitting exams. Learning and studying- good. Exams- bad."

"Oh. But you're all so…teacher-inclined; I would have thought you'd love to do exams. With the exception of yourself of course."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The sixth-year snarled, interrupting us.

Rune glanced at the boy. "Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop?" He asked quietly.

"Don't you know it's rude to insult people?" The boy responded but louder.

"Yes. But I didn't insult you then. Only when I called you thick-headed, dirty, geekish scum who thinks he's better than the rest of us." He sounded calm but I knew him well enough to realise that he was angry.

"You never called me that." The boy said. I resisted the urge to slap my forehead.

"Let me make that really thick-headed then."

The boy stood up. "That's it. Go away. Or else."

Rune stood up, smirking again. "Or else what?"

"We'll get you." He hissed.

"You'll get me?" The gangly teenager's eyes widened in mock fear. "Oh, no. I'm so scared. You and what army?"

"All of us." The boy's friend said, also standing up.

"Sure." Rune laughed. "But it won't be all of you. Holly, are you going to 'get me'?" I shook my head, watching numbly. "And I bet Holly's friends won't attack me either- not if they want to stay friends with her. And I have Slytherin behind me." He gestured to the table behind him. "If you get me, they'll get you."

I wondered why he was so confident: after all, Slytherin was divided. Nevertheless, the Sixth-years paled.

The conflict finally ended when Professor Longbottom asked us to sit down and, having already spotted the trouble, requested that Rune return to his own table for dessert. Rune shrugged, said goodbye to me and swaggered back to his own table. I watched him leave. What I wouldn't have given to be that confident.

Everyone grumbled about Rune whilst eating dessert so I remained silent. I knew there wasn't a rule against people sitting at other tables, but people still didn't do it. Then again, Rune always regarded these things as guidelines rather than actual orders. And, thinking about it, that sort of thing would be right up Lysana's street: inter-house mingling and whatnot. The problem with her however was that she was an optimist and optimists can rarely see reality. However, she was great at making me feel cheerful.

It still seemed like an odd thing to do though. Rune liked to cause mischief, annoy people and prove how smart he was but the one thing he didn't do was anything very dangerous (examples of 'dangerous' would be antagonizing the Gryffindors or sitting by a group of people who hate his guts). This qualified as dangerous AND stupid. I wondered what had possessed Lysana to agree to it and him to do it. I knew that Richard and Cassius thought it would be funny either way so there would be no need to question their motives.

When we headed up to the Ravenclaw tower, Rhian asked if Rune had planned his little escapade. I shrugged and kept walking. She did not ask anything else. Past experience would have told her that I would not elaborate. Behind me, Natasha made snide remarks to Olivia which I studiously ignored. It wasn't as though I particularly cared about her opinion- it was the same as everyone else's.

By the time I went to bed, I was wondering a bit more about Rune's motives. Anthony had ignored me. Max's 'goodnight' had been very frosty and Devyn had looked slightly affronted as he told me that if Rune bothered me, just tell him. Exactly what he would do- being a very weedy guy- was unknown but we both knew that I would never take him up on the offer. His 'goodnight' was only slightly less frosty than Max's.

Natasha ignored me (as usual) but so did Olivia which was strange. Rhian looked irritated and Sandy sounded normal but her face betrayed her. Evidently, my friends had not forgiven me for not ejecting Rune from the table. It wasn't the best start to my fifth-year. It more or less signified how the rest of it would go.


	8. Eyes On Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Geth342: Well, here ya go. The next update will be on the 24th October. Please feel free to give advice :)

Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 8: Eyes On Me

Sandy accidently woke me up by tripping on her way out of the room and landing in my bed. I was rather startled to see her apologetic brown eyes and dirty-blond hair suddenly appear above me. She apologised for waking me up but did not say much else. I told her it was okay and she left to go get changed- she had to wake up early to show the new first-years where the bathroom was. I probably annoyed her by following a minute later. The way things were going, everyone would probably let me sleep in and then I would be late. It was easier just to get up.

My room-mates were still asleep by the time I got back so I left for breakfast silently. In the Common Room, the first-years were just leaving. I couldn't go out of the door right then as they were, obviously, all using it, so I looked at the plaque instead. I must have looked at it a hundred times before but that didn't stop me from constantly glancing at it. Despite Zac's assurances, I still felt strange when I read it. I just wished that I knew more about her. Or even about Tom Howell, the boy from Gryffindor who had died two years after the battle from a slow-acting curse that no one had realised had hit him. When I asked Zac about him one summer, he looked completely confused. I guessed that they had never met.

I took my time going down to the Great Hall. After all, it wasn't as if I would have a lesson any time soon. I tried to ignore the names of the dead as I walked past the memorial but I couldn't help thinking about them; maybe I was in a nostalgic mood. In the biography of Harry Potter, it mentioned that his children were all named after dead people as was the son of one of the Weasleys. I wondered how they had felt to look at the memorial and see their names written there. It had to be weird.

There were a few other Ravenclaws sitting at the table, none of whom looked very pleased to see me. I sighed and sat away from them. It was strange; when I had received my letter, a part of me had been happy with the idea that I would be with a group of people who accepted me. But nothing much had changed- people still thought I was weird and tended to avoid me. My parents said that I had quietened down a lot in the years at Hogwarts. Apparently, I was the opposite of Zac in this respect (the fact that I was still in school by fifth-year spoke for itself…assuming Zac had been completely truthful anyway).

Cain and Sandy joined me a little while later, complaining about having to wake up so early. Cain especially liked his sleep and being woken up so early transformed the normally gentle boy into a large, grumpy bear, causing me to remain silent.

By the time the others had arrived, I had finished my breakfast. However, I was trapped there because I had to receive my timetable. Rhian, who could have sat next to me as I was closer to the door, chose to sit next to Sandy, leaving me to think that she was still irritated with me although the cheery smile she gave me suggested otherwise. Devyn sat next to me but that was it. Upon entering the hall, Rune waved to me. I nodded back but didn't do anything else. This seemed to cheer Devyn up slightly.

I glanced at my timetable when I received it. That day seemed alright- Arithmancy first, followed by Potions, double Transfiguration and finishing with Defence Against the Dark Arts. I spotted Max groaning because he had Divination first and Anthony teasing him about it and had to smile. Divination was something I had been interested in until Professor Langtree- who had overheard me discussing this with Rhian in our second-year- had commented that if I felt like having my death predicted then it would be my subject. I wondered why he said that- teachers weren't supposed to put down other subjects- but before I could ask, he had disappeared. Rhian mentioned that I seemed to be one of Langtree's favourites but I couldn't see it myself. I always thought that he was looking for something when he looked at me.

No one followed me when I left the table, despite my farewell. I sighed. People said Slytherins were the cold ones. Clearly these people had never met my Ravenclaw year-mates.

As it was, I arrived early outside the Arithmancy class. Perhaps the Slytherins had spotted me because, five minutes after I arrived, Lysana, Richard and their friend Cassius Green arrived. Cassius was a large, brutish looking boy. I didn't really know him and I had never really had a proper conversation with him. However, as he had no intention of beating me up, I found it easy to tolerate his presence.

"You're here early." Lysana said pleasantly. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know." I replied in a thinking voice. "It couldn't be because a certain prank of yours has all my friends glaring at me?" Cassius started sniggering, as did Richard. Lysana smiled. I did not. "It's not funny, you know."

"Sorry," Lysana giggled. "We just never thought he would do it."

"Or make such a mess of it." Cassius added, still sniggering.

"Make such a mess of it?" I echoed, feeling confused. He had made a mess but I thought it had been planned.

"We betted that he wouldn't go over to you," Richard explained. "But I also betted that he wouldn't be able to do it without annoying everyone except you, maybe."

"Everett likes his bets, doesn't he Drake?" Cassius added. He often talked to people by using their surnames. I had absolutely no idea why.

Richard nodded. "Yep. So why he decided to go and rile everyone else on your table is anyone's guess. I asked him and he just said that he hadn't been able to resist it."

"Bloody Everett." I muttered.

Cassius' eyes lit up. "Say, Carew, can I tell Rune you're mad at him? Then he'll owe Drake a few more galleons."

"Do it after Divination." Lysana suggested. "He's already got to put up with Leo and Ivan. Oh, and Yasmin and Charlotte. It'll be so funny- he'll be boiling mad already." She grinned- apparently the idea of annoying Rune was amusing. Cassius laughed a great, booming laugh.

"Why'd he agree to it anyway?" I muttered, still unappeased.

"Money."

"Laughs."

"Probably wanted to annoy McDonald as well."

I noticed that Richard did not answer. His face was as closed as ever but I thought there was a hint of amusement in his coal-black eyes. As though he knew something we didn't. The other two didn't ask him so I said nothing. Then I thought of something.

"You realise that I can't sit with you this lesson, right?" I asked Lysana.

The humour instantly dropped from her face. "Why not?" She demanded. "I haven't even spoken to you since yesterday."

"Because, as I already said, the others are annoyed at me. And if I want to speak to anyone in Ravenclaw ever again, I think I should sit next to Devyn."

"Why would you want to speak to anyone in Ravenclaw?" asked Richard reasonably. "Join our House."

"Well, just apologise about Rune." Lysana replied, ignoring Richard. "Come on, apart from Arithmancy, I only speak to you on the weekend."

"This is the easiest way Lys. If I sit next to Devyn, he and the others will think I really am annoyed with all of you."

"Which you are." Cassius supplied helpfully.

"Which I am. I have to live with these people. And I do like them."

"Even Natasha?" Lysana asked slyly.

I rolled my eyes and turned around, just in time to see Devyn, Olivia and Cain. When they came over, I asked Devyn if I could sit with him that lesson. His grin was so broad that I thought it would split his face as he replied that of course I could. I then ignored the Slytherins as best as I could (this was not helped by Cassius throwing a piece of paper at Cain- something he swore was an accident later) and, slowly, regained some of the lost trust.

Out of that day, double Transfiguration was the hardest- apparently, it wouldn't be any easier than the years before. The really irritating thing about it was that no one else seemed to have any problems and so I struggled by myself. Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions were the weirdest. The teachers (wasn't it always the teachers?) kept giving me odd looks. Professor Chappell in particular observed me carefully. It reminded me of my first year- as though I were about to do something really stupid or amazing. Glancing at my timetable, I found that I was relieved that Charms was not until Wednesday, last lesson. If this was the way my year was going, then Professor Langtree would probably not let me go near my wand.

By the time we went down to dinner, I was tired but nowhere near as bad as Sandy. She had already had to sort out three fights (not all in our House) and stop a pair of first-years from going in the wrong direction. Her usual good mood had disappeared completely as she muttered angrily about how we had never been that bad when we were younger. Cain agreed while Rhian and a few of the others commented that we probably had been that bad, earning a few extra glares off Sandy.

"Did you know that Professor Langtree is staring at you?" A warm voice behind me asked. I jumped. "Isn't he a bit old for you?"

"Rune!" I exclaimed in surprise. As everyone shifted in their seats, I suddenly remembered that I was still irritated with him. I opened my mouth to tell him so.

He raised his hands. "No need to have a go at me Holly." He said. "I came over here to apologise to everyone." He looked at us, trying to erase the smile on his face. "So…I'm very sorry for imposing my presence upon you all and insulting you and…the, uh, guy who I called…yeah, well, I'm very sorry."

"Everett?" Anthony asked.

"Yes?"

"Go away."

A spark of anger leapt into Rune's grey eyes but he breathed in and smiled his charming smile. "I deserved that. Very well, Eagan, I shall leave knowing that I did the right thing. Good evening." He turned and walked away without another word. Immediately, everyone discussed what had just happened. I remained silent until someone- probably Natasha- asked me for my opinion.

"Um…" I muttered, trying to think of what to say. "I think he knew we were angry so he thought he'd apologise. He's not that bad." I decided not to add that Richard had probably bet him that he'd mess up apologising too.

No one else agreed and I grew tired of the debate. For the second time that day, I left the table by myself, claiming that I wanted to make a head start on my Transfiguration homework. The others let me go.

As I left, I glanced at the top table. Rune was right. Langtree was staring at me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I had been working in the library for an hour and was well into my work when someone sat in the seat next to me. I ignored the person- it obviously wasn't one of the Ravenclaws because they usually said something when they sat down- and carried on working. My new table friend looked at me.

"You're pretty smart, aren't you?" The person asked after a while.

I looked at the student. "Um…I do alright." I replied. "Why?"

"Do you know any of the first-years?"

I racked my brains for a moment. "Uh…well, apart from Darius Potter- and only by sight- I'd have to say no. Sandy Pierce probably would though. Or Cain Goodwin."

The student sighed and shook his head. "I'm not asking _them_." He didn't say anything else for a while. I carried on with my work. "I need your help." He said after a few more minutes.

I looked up. "What with?"

Cassius blushed. "My sister." He mumbled before looking away.

"You need help with your sister?" I asked in a disbelieving tone.

"No, I want your help." He snapped. I was still confused so he added, "She's a first-year Ravenclaw."

"I see." I lied.

He showed me a picture of a nervous-looking girl with his light brown hair and green eyes. "This is Sephy."

"Oh yeah, I think I've seen her around."

He rolled his eyes. "That's nice, Carew. Anyway, can I explain?" I nodded, surprised by his lack of manners. Maybe he was really embarrassed to be doing this. "Sephy is…she's a Ravenclaw." He paused.

"Congratulations?" I asked when it didn't look like he would be continuing. "You already said that."

"Well, she is good enough to be there, I know she is. But…she never…gets it." He paused again.

"Gets what?"

"Like, what she's reading. She takes ages to read it and sometimes, it won't stick in her head. But she loves reading and learning." He laughed bitterly. "She's a stupid Ravenclaw. Ever heard of them?"

"I'm sure she's not stupid." I began hesitantly.

He cut me off. "Oh yeah? My parents gave her one of those IQ test things. She got 94." His eyes flashed mockingly. "Tell me she's not stupid."

"It sounds like she has some sort of learning disability." I said slowly. "Is she on the learning support programme?"

He rolled his eyes. "Why didn't I think of that? Of course she is."

"So…what's the problem?"

"You're a Ravenclaw." He hissed. "You lot are meant to be smart. How's she going to cope if she can't understand the stuff she's given to read?"

"The same way most people do?" I asked cautiously.

"They'll bully her." He stated simply. I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. "Don't give me crap about how your House is friendly. Every House has bullies. And if they think she's dumb, they'll bully her."

"But what am I meant to do?" I really couldn't see what this had to do with me.

He rolled his eyes again. "For a Ravenclaw, you're really dull." He said, clearly giving up on getting on my good side. "Can't you look after her? Stand up for her or something? Maybe spread it around that her older brother is a Slytherin?"

"I could if you want her to have no friends." I replied. "I don't know if you noticed, but most people don't like Slytherins. Apart from me. And I'm weird."

He sighed. "Fine. But, you know, if she wants help or people are bullying her, could you help her? I'll tell her about you. I'll pay you." He dug his hand into his pocket and held out some Sickles. "I'll give you five Sickles a month if you do it."

I stared at the money. I would like to say that I would never have taken his money, and maybe that's true, but I can't deny that I wasn't sorely tempted. I wasn't poor but I was on a strict allowance and a few extra Sickles couldn't hurt. But, eventually, my better side won. "Don't worry Green. I'll do it for free." He smiled gratefully. "But for Merlin's sake," I added. "Tell her who I am first."

He grinned. "Thanks Carew. I owe you one for this."

I shrugged. "No problem. Now can I go back to doing my work?"

He laughed. "Yeah. See ya Carew."

"Bye." I moved back to do my work. Although I got on with Cassius, he wasn't my favourite person around and we weren't exactly friends. This had probably been our longest conversation ever.

"You know," He commented five minutes later, having only gotten up and not actually left. "You're wasted as a Ravenclaw. Shoulda been in Slytherin."

"Because everyone will just love me." I muttered sarcastically.

He smirked. "I suppose. But it would have made it easier for…never mind, you'll see."

That confused me. "See what?"

He laughed again. "Changed my mind- I'm not gonna say. Oh well. See ya Carew." And he left before I could comment.

What would have been easier? Cassius was probably trying to get some of his dignity back by confusing me but I was still curious- Slytherins rarely lied. And what would I see?

That boy was really infuriating.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I spoke to Sephy the next day. She seemed extremely shy- even worse than me after the attack- and I noticed that a few of the other first-years stayed away from her. The reason, she said, was because they thought she was stupid. Clearly, Cassius' fears had been correct. I offered to help her with homework to which she- a very perceptive individual- asked how much I was being paid. I told her nothing and she didn't believe me. So I had to spend more time convincing her that I was doing it for free and then, after all that trouble, she informed me that she didn't actually need any help at the moment (although she was grateful for the offer) and the learning support people were being very helpful.

By Wednesday, I was desperately wishing for the holidays to come back. None of our teachers seemed to be particularly keen on letting us get back into our work slowly and, much as I liked studying, homework was not my favourite thing in the world (although, as Rune kindly pointed out, it wasn't as if I had much else to do).

But the really infuriating thing was that Professor Langtree would not stop _staring_ at me. And, what was worse, Professor Rowland seemed equally inclined to do it by Wednesday morning.

I had spoken to Rowland a few times over the years- she seemed to be one of the nicer teachers- but as I got older, she sat in our classes less and less. Although she never made me feel like some of the teachers did (like I was about to murder someone), she did sometimes give me strange looks. And now, she was just staring.

"Hey, Holly, why are all the teachers looking at you?" Devyn asked at lunch, breaking through my thoughts.

"I don't know," I replied somewhat irritably. "Maybe I have something on my face."

Devyn looked. "Nope, you're fine. So, what gives?"

I shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe I'm just particularly beautiful today."

He laughed. "Not so sure about that. Here, we'll check. Sandy, Rhian, Max? Is Holly looking particularly beautiful today?"

"No," Max laughed, but smiled to show he wasn't being mean.

Sandy and Rhian carried on talking. Devyn shook his head. "Oi, Rhian, Sandy. Is Holly looking beautiful today?" The girls carried on talking, still deep in conversation.

Anthony, hearing us, smirked. "Dev, you've got the wrong approach. This is how you get their attention." He grabbed his fork, reached over and poked Sandy in the shoulder. The blond-haired girl squeaked and jumped.

"What?" She asked. Rhian looked up as well.

"Is Holly looking particularly beautiful today?" Half the table chorused. The girls looked at each other in confusion and then at me.

"Um…no more than usual." Rhian said tentatively, clearly thinking we were mad.

"She looks the same as yesterday." Sandy added in the same voice.

Devyn laughed. "Well, the mystery still isn't solved." I pulled a face but before we could discuss it further, the bell rang.

"If it makes you any happier," I muttered wryly, "you could ask Langtree next lesson. We've got him now."

"Oh yeah," Devyn grinned. "Are you excited?"

"No." I replied before setting off. Why would I be excited about another lesson where I would be stared at?

The Gryffindors arrived just after we did. And as usual, Professor Langtree was late (or later than us anyway). Upon seeing us, Danny decided to give Devyn a bear hug, just for fun. The rest of the class laughed as the giant Danny actually lifted his smaller brother off the floor but I just scowled. Danny and I had never gotten along.

"So, still hanging around with Death Eater scum I see, Dev?" He asked, flicking his long brown hair back. I rolled my eyes. This would be why I didn't like him.

To his credit, Devyn defended me. "Don't call her that." He ordered.

"Why not?" His brother asked. "She hangs around with Slytherins, doesn't she? They're all the same."

"Yes, and aren't all Gryffindors, arrogant, brawny idiots?" Devyn replied coldly. This caused the Gryffindors to stir angrily. Jenny in particular looked mad and was glaring at me as though it were my fault the brothers were arguing.

"Thanks Dev," Danny snarled. "Nice to see you stick up for your brother. That's what hanging around with Carew does. Bloody Death Eater."

"Ten points from Gryffindor McDonald and if I hear you using that disgusting word again, it will be more." A voice behind us said crisply. We turned to look at Professor Langtree who did not look very impressed. "Please apologise to Miss Carew."

"Sorry Carew." He muttered sullenly. I said nothing and he looked away again, scowling. Langtree merely asked us to go into the classroom.

As predicted, he spent a lot of the lesson staring at me. The first fifteen minutes were a speech about the OWLs- about how important they were, how much work we would need, how we could all pass. He faced the room but he constantly glanced at me until I decided to look away, irritated.

He told us to start practicing a spell we had learnt at the end of last year. This time, he went around to everyone else but studiously ignored Max and I unless forced to. And he still looked at me. I considered trying to have a staring competition with him but decided that it would be a waste of time. Whatever Zac may have thought about him, the man was clearly weird.

Despite all my thoughts, I still got a shock when he called me back at the end of the lesson; after all, I hadn't done anything wrong. The others promised to wait for me outside as I walked over to his desk slowly. I kept my hand on my wand.

"Is something the matter sir?" I asked politely.

He smiled at me. "No, Miss Carew, I'm just curious. You have a brother, don't you?"

"Yes sir." It was best to stick to short answers, I decided.

"And what was his name again?"

"Peter Rotem sir."

"This is a bit of a personal question I suppose, but has your brother…Peter…has he ever been in trouble with the law?"

"Only once sir." I said, quite sure that I was lying.

He ran his hand over his scar. I found myself wondering where he had got it. "Once? Do you know what for?"

"Erm…" I had no idea what to say. What could he have done wrong which sounded plausible? "He, uh…he…he got in a fight and broke someone's wrist in self defence." I blurted. The teacher looked at me with one eye raised.

"When was this?"

"No offence professor, but why is it so important?" I asked, dodging the question.

He was silent for a moment. "That is…I have a personal interest in the matter."

"You have a personal interest in a man you've never met?" I asked doubtfully.

He smiled. "No Holly. I think I have met your brother before… I was just trying to match him up. So could you answer my question please, or would you rather not?"

I considered saying that I would rather not but then I realised that he would probably work out that I was lying. "No problem sir." I said. "It was quite some time ago. It was…just after I was born. He was a bit jealous of the attention I was getting and he got himself into that fight. So, that would have been…uh…if I'm fifteen and he's thirty-one…oh, when he was fifteen or sixteen." I smiled, pleased to have come up with something. Langtree frowned.

"I see. Very well, thank you Holly. If I were you, I would look out for the newspaper tomorrow. I hear there's some interesting news in it." His voice was unreadable.

"Sure Professor." I said, eager to leave. "Bye sir."

"Bye Holly."

It only occurred to me when the others were joking about how we would get married that Langtree had taken to calling me by my first name. What was up with that?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I saw the paper the next morning- Olivia always got one mailed to her- and wondered what was so exciting. Everyone else stared at the headline.

"Who do you think did it?" Sandy asked in a whisper.

"Why do you think they did it?" Natasha replied.

I looked at the headline again. What was so special about it, apart from its dramatic contents?

**BUSINESS MAN, ADAM ETASYL, FOUND DEAD IN BEDROOM.**


	9. The Trouble with News

Dislaimer: If i had written Harry Potter, the Slytherins would have gotten a much fairer view. In other words, i don't own it.

Geth342: This is early, i know, but i might not be able to update tomorrow. Anyway, i might be able to update in less than 10 days, depending on how quickly i can do homework. So, any time between 30th- 2nd November is when i will update. Anyway, cheers to all my reviewers and readers. I apologise for the rubbishness of this chapter, but it is necessary. Hope you all enjoy regardless!

Chapter 9: The Trouble with News.

Everyone kept talking about the headline, making it clear that this was the news Langtree had told me about. After the fifth time of them asking why anyone would do it, I felt I had to intervene if only for my own sanity.

"Who is this guy anyway?"

They stared at each other incredulously. "You've never heard of Adam Etasyl?" Sandy asked. I shook my head. "He's the guy who owns the Iceblood broom company. You know that really new broom. He's also a high up member of some pure-blood society. It's impressive for someone so young. He's what, thirty?"

"Thirty-one." Devyn said. Another person from Zac's time. How weird.

"I heard his dad bought him half the company and research though." Max interjected.

"I don't get it though. What exactly is so special?" I asked, still confused. Okay, so he had been murdered, and that was presumably bad, but people get murdered a lot. Sad but true.

"He's rumoured to be untouchable." Sandy explained. "Like, there've been a few murder attempts but they've always been caught by him. And, recently, there's been some nasty warnings going around about anyone who tries to touch him. He had some pretty good protection."

"That's why this is so weird." Olivia added.

"Okay." I said, and thought no more about it for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, Professor Langtree thought it might be a good idea to bring it up the next day. We had just sat down for the beginning of double Charms when he grinned.

"Hello. Did you see the paper today?" He asked it generally but I knew he was directing it at me.

Everyone else seemed to have noticed it too. "Yes sir. We all saw it." I replied, desperately trying to get everyone else involved.

"So, class, any thoughts?"

"Where's the motive?" Clifford Andover asked. "How did the murderer do it?"

"I imagine he used the Killing Curse." Langtree replied. "As for the motive…I think that will be revealed tomorrow, in a way." He glanced towards me again.

"How d'you know what the motive is sir?" Devyn asked curiously. That was a really good point. In fact, I wondered, how had he known that it would appear in the paper at all?

"I have a friend on the investigation team," He replied smoothly. "I think it'll be in the paper."

"Can we have a hint?" Danny wanted to know.

Langtree smirked. "Do you know anything about Hogwarts in 2033?" A few people looked thoughtful but I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. This sounded like it was being directed at me.

"Hey sir, shouldn't we be doing Charms?" I asked before anyone could answer his question. Max nudged me in the side. Everyone else glared at me.

Langtree looked at me properly then, his eyes laughing. "Why yes, Miss Carew. We're just waiting for Professor Rowland who will be sitting in this lesson. So, until then..."

"I'm here." Someone said, walking down the room. I turned to look as Professor Rowland limped towards Langtree. "So now you have to start teaching."

He grinned, looking remarkably like a child who had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. "That is correct Professor. So, class, we shall postpone this talk for now." Everyone groaned. "We'll do Charms instead."

He began to talk about the origins of the Charm we had learnt yesterday, where the words came from and the movement. He was very big on magical history and it reminded me of History of Magic- it wasn't very exciting.

Just when most of the Gryffindors (and a few of the Ravenclaws) had begun to doodle on spare parchment (Clifford Andover had a particularly good sketch of a comet), Professor Langtree drew his speech to a close by shooting off a loud bang with his wand, making us all jump. Once we were all paying attention, he began to explain the next Charm. This would make someone do a strange pirouette. Exactly _why_ we would want to do this was unknown but he still decided to teach it to us.

To begin with, we went through the theory and wand movements. That took us up to the end of the first hour, and I had quite a few pages of notes by the end of it. Then, he decided that we should practice the spell.

"Professor Rowland," he called. "If you would join me down here?" Rowland left the student she was helping and limped down, smiling. "Okay class, now watch carefully." He drew his wand and uttered the spell. Rowland did a graceful twirl, red hair flowing, and nearly stumbled on her bad leg. Langtree struck an arm out to catch her.

There is a strange sensation when, for no apparent reason, a completely random memory or even a faked memory comes to you. Maybe you're sitting somewhere, reading and you suddenly remember your old teacher shouting at you or something like that. Anyway, that's what happened to me at that point.

One moment, I was studying the technique and watching Rowland laughing as Langtree caught her. And then, suddenly, I was eight years old again. The exact context was blurry but in my head, I was looking at two blurry people in black and white- a boy and a girl- sitting by a tree. The boy had his arm around the girl. The girl was laughing. And the pair were moving but they couldn't see me. The girl flicked her hair back, the boy yawned… they looked right through me. As though I wasn't there. As though I was invisible. But that was silly because, even then, I knew that I couldn't make myself invisible. I walked forward to see if I could attract their attention but…

"Holly!" Max hissed. "Wake up."

I jerked upright. "Was I asleep?" I asked in surprise.

He sighed, grabbed my arm and pulled me up. It was then that I realised everyone else was standing. "No. But you were staring into space. What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing." I muttered, dazed. "Just remembering something. So, we practicing the charm?"

"Yes."

I paused for a moment. "Um…Max…how do we do it again?" Having been focusing on my strange memory, I found that I couldn't remember what Langtree had been saying. Max groaned but dutifully told me how to do the spell. We spent the rest of the lesson taking it in turns to perform it on each other but, by the end of the hour, the best that we could do was make each other do a strange hop. Unsurprisingly, our homework was to practice the Charm.

As soon as we left the classroom to go to break, everyone began discussing the murder again. A few people looked hopefully towards our teacher but I pushed Devyn and the others out of the room before they had the chance, proclaiming a sudden desire to go to the courtyard. My friends were confused but followed me.

By the end of the day, I had a deep desire to wear ear muffs- I was absolutely sick of hearing about Adam Etasyl's murder. Yes, he was dead and yes, that was bad. But why did they have to go on and on about it? When they looked set to keep talking through the evening, I decided to write a letter to my parents. Even then, I ended up adding something about Adam Etasyl- after all, he had been in Zac's year.

I hoped that the talk would die down by the next day but, true to Professor Langtree's prophecy, there was even more information. This time, I read the article properly, noting that he had a younger brother who was distraught and that there was very little evidence near his body. Except for a note. And I have to admit, even I thought the note was strange.

_Consider this payback for fifteen years ago. _

_You took their lives. You took mine._

_Now I've taken yours._

This, of course, lead to even more speculation about the murder. Everyone had their own private theories. One of the stranger ones was that the murderer was a ghost who had been killed fifteen years before by Etasyl because he looked the wrong way at him. I couldn't quite see how this worked- how did the ghost pick up the pen?- but it didn't stop a few people discussing the possibilities.

To me, the link seemed a bit different. If Adam Etasyl was thirty-one, that meant he had been born in 2017, just like Zac. Unlike Zac, he had been in the Battle of the Snakes as he would have been in either his fourth or fifth year then. And, if you looked at the memorial, there were two names- so lives and not life. The murderer could easily have been making a reference to that. I mentioned this theory to my fellow Ravenclaws who all shot it down, apart from Sandy who admitted that there may have been an Adam Etasyl in the battle (but she couldn't remember).

I mentioned my theory to Lysana and Rune the next day. Rune looked blank. Lysana looked thoughtful. She said, slowly, that my theory was the most plausible one she had heard but she still didn't know who the murderer could be. When the mood became very sombre, Rune suggested we form a trio of detectives and investigate it ourselves, as well as asking Harry Potter to aid us. This led to us discussing the impracticalities of this and soon we were laughing.

After a few more days, it became clear that the newspaper was not going to give us any more information. Professor Langtree did not seem very inclined to do it either although his continual staring was making me paranoid. It had gotten to the point that even Danny- who would rather dance naked than be nice to me- asked him why he felt the need to always stare at me and could he stop because it was freaking him out (It was freaking him out, I thought. How did he think it felt to be me?). This resulted in Langtree looking two metres to my left for a few days.

Professor Rowland took over instead, although she, at least, was far more subtle, apart from her random conversations with me in the corridor. Sometimes, it would be no longer than 'Hi Holly.', 'Hi Professor'. Sometimes, she would ask me how school was and how my family or friends were. She was especially interested to hear about Lysana and Rune, obviously having worked out that this was the pair I had talked about all those years ago.

My parents did not reply to my letter for two weeks, which was a bit odd for them. When they did reply, they did not mention anything about Adam Etasyl for which I was thankful. Then I realised that Zac had sent me a short letter, saying that he had actually been friends with Adam and he was devastated to hear about the murder and if I heard any news, could I tell him? I replied back saying that Professor Langtree had taken to staring at me and there had been a note about the murder.

Thankfully, towards the end of September, the article was less discussed as very little new evidence had been found. It gave my ears a break.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

By the end of September, I shared Sandy's pain with the younger kids. There were a lot of them and they always seemed to feel the need to shout and scream. Apart from Sephy (who waved to me whenever she saw me), I tended to ignore them.

According to Sandy, the worst one of the lot was Darius Potter. He got in trouble a lot but punishment had no effect on him- he saw it as a badge of honour. Any admiration she had held for him had already disappeared. Faith Weasley had it even worse- she had grown up with Darius and found it hard to punish him. As a result, he thought it was funny to cause trouble near her.

However, in general, I didn't have much to do with them.

I finally got to help Sephy out on one Friday evening. I was leaving the library and walking back when I heard some voices.

"You're so dumb Green."

"Ooh, Zettel, I can't do this."

"Who can't read by the age of eleven?" The voices started sniggering.

"Shut up." A girl's voice sniffled. I walked onto the scene to see three Slytherin first-year boys surrounding Sephy, who looked like she was close to tears. "My brother will get you."

"Who, the mudblood lover?" One boy asked. "I'd like to see that." I bristled at the term. That was the point I decided to walk in.

"Hello, Sephy. We were wondering where you got to." I remarked, ignoring the boys who immediately started sniggering again.

She looked up at me, her eyes shining hopefully. "Hello Holly."

"Disgraceful." The tallest boy remarked. "She needs the Mudblood's help."

We both glared at him. "Watch your mouth." Sephy shouted, surprisingly loud for someone so shy.

"It's not a good idea to threaten someone older than you." I remarked softly. "Especially when they can curse you easily." I held my wand out, just to prove my point whilst wondering where my sanity had gone.

Unfortunately, my words didn't appear to be very threatening. One of the shorter boys peered at me and then asked curiously, "Aren't you Everett's girl?"

I stared at him, caught off guard. "Am I what?"

"Everett's girl."

It took me a few seconds to realise what he was asking. "No. I'm not." I stated flatly. "Get out of the way."

"That's not very friendly." The third boy- a very pale individual- remarked. "But then, Mudbloods have no manners."

"That's it!" Sephy shouted. Apparently, she was as temperamental as her brother.

"Watch out." The tall boy laughed. "She's gonna curse us."

"Bet she's too dumb to work out which end of the wand to use."

"Yeah, we could stand here for ag- oof." The boy who was speaking was suddenly cut off by Sephy head-butting him. She hadn't been able to get her spell to work and had resorted to physical violence instead. I'll give her this- she had more guts than I did.

The boys looked furious and drew out their wands. What they could do- having had very little tuition- was a mystery but I didn't really want to find out, so I used the leg-locker curse on the tall one and threatened the others with the same treatment. They didn't look quite so cocky anymore.

"Right," I muttered, trying to sound threatening and not quite managing it. "Apologise to Sephy."

"No thanks."

"Not a chance."

"Sorry." The taller boys turned to look at the short one who shrugged. "I'll apologise to her. Not apologising to the Mudblood though."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. You can leave if you want." I had no intention of making anyone apologise for that insult because, frankly, I didn't have the time to sit there and make them.

"Come on Baz." The pale boy muttered. "Or she might get Everett on us."

"My brother can handle him."

"Baz, your brother is too thick to remember the password to the Common Room. Let's just go." He glared at me. "I'm sorry, alright?" I shrugged.

"I'm not." Baz said. "I have some pride, unlike you bums."

I shrugged and began to walk away. Sephy, after a moment's hesitation, followed me. As we walked, I heard Baz trying to move and did consider going back for him, but I couldn't be bothered. I really hoped that his brother wasn't big.

Sephy and I did not say a word until we were in the Common Room. My friends had clearly been wondering where I had got to and bombarded me with questions which I avoided. Instead, I sat down with Sephy in a corner.

"Who were those boys?" I asked softly.

She looked away. "Herbology class." She muttered.

"Are you struggling with the work?" I asked carefully, fully aware that she could be offended by it.

She was. "Are you calling me stupid?" She demanded, although her voice was low.

"No. Struggling doesn't mean you're stupid. It means you're struggling."

"I'm fine."

"Oh. Okay." I started to get up. She stopped me.

"It's…it's a bit hard." She muttered, her face turning red. "But Professor Motran says my reading's getting better." I looked at her, my face not changing expression. "I just can't get the homework right. I read it but… I'm not very good at Herbology." She looked down, embarrassed, as though this was a deadly sin.

I smiled at her. "Everyone's bad at something. You should see my Astronomy work. It's awful."

"But Astronomy's easy." She pointed out before realising what she had said.

"Thanks." I said ruefully. She apologised. "If you want, I can go through some stuff with you or help you spell-check your essays?"

She smiled shyly. "That'd be nice, thanks. Um…if it's not too much trouble…" She seemed to be reverting to her shy self before my eyes. I groaned inside. I had absolutely no idea how to deal with shy kids.

"Of course not. I told you I'd help. Oh, actually, I have an idea. Rune Everett- your brother's friend- he's good at Herbology. Maybe you could get your brother to ask him to help." The idea had only just occurred to me, although as I said it, I had a feeling that Rune would expect payment. Or just wouldn't do it. The more I thought about it, the more I realised how stupid it was. But, by that point, it was too late to take it back.

"Isn't he your boyfriend?" She asked curiously.

I ground my teeth together. What was it with people that day? Did they all know something I didn't or were they just trying to annoy me? "Did you get that from the Slytherins?" I demanded. She nodded, looking as though she would rather be somewhere else. "No, he's not."

"Sorry." She whispered.

I sighed. And now I had scared her. She was certainly a strange girl- one moment she was angry, the next she was completely terrified. I couldn't work her out. And, considering I could usually work people out, it was a strange experience for me. "Don't worry." I muttered. "Now, do you have anything for me to check?"

She thought for a moment and then shook her head. I told her to give me a shout when she had something and we parted ways. I went back to the others.

I sat in silence for a while as they discussed some new law the Ministry was bringing in. Usually, I would put some input into it but all my stamina for the day had gone so, instead, I looked into the fire and thought.

I don't remember falling asleep but I must have done because the next thing I knew, Sandy was gently waking me up. Blearily, I opened my eyes and looked around the deserted Common Room. Rhian and Sandy were looming over me.

"It's pretty late." Sandy said in response to my unasked question. "Everyone else has gone to bed. We thought we should wake you up."

"Thanks." I yawned. "I'll come up now." I got up, grabbed my books and started to walk out to the dorm with them.

"So…Everett isn't your boyfriend?" Rhian asked innocently.

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

Rhian and Sandy exchanged amused looks. "Everett isn't your boyfriend then?" Rhian repeated.

"No…" I said uncertainly. "Why would you think he was?"

"Well…you _were_ muttering 'not my boyfriend. Rune's not my boyfriend.' It's slightly suspicious." Rhian laughed. I blushed.

"You know you can tell us, right?" Sandy grinned.

I shook my head as we entered the dormitory. "I'd believe the sleep talk." I muttered.


	10. The Most Likely Couple

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Geth342: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ BEFORE GOING FURTHER! In this chapter and possibly throughout the rest of this story there will be a recurring minor theme which i won't mention here because it spoils this chapter. Hopefully, you'll recognise it when you get to it. I am fully aware that some people are uncomfortable with this sort of thing and that there is no warning in my summary. If you don't wish to read further in this story because of it, i will completely understand. However, i think it's an important theme to address.

Anyway, how's that for good updating? One week! Unfortunately next update will be 10 days, possibly eleven- 9th/10th November.

This chapter is dedicated to ellesra who has reviewed nearly every chapter and makes me smile. She's also favourited it and put me on alert. So yeah, i hope you like. :D

Chapter 10: The Most Likely Couple

At the beginning of October, my parents sent me new dress robes. These were blue in colour, old, ugly and- oddly- made for a boy. When I sent a quizzical letter to my parents, they apologised and asked if I could wear my old ones which were a bit too small for me. I ended up ordering a new set with the rest of my allowance while Lysana laughed herself silly at the thought of me dancing in boy's robes.

Professor Langtree still stared at me. I had gotten used to this and had learnt to ignore it, although I did indulge in the occasional staring contest (which he always won). Professor Rowland, on the other hand, had taken less to staring at me and more to following me. Wherever I stood, she was normally standing nearby. In a way, that was freakier than Langtree's staring. Between the pair of them, I felt like I was being spied upon.

As usual, a week into October, Professor Ramik announced that the Halloween Ball would be on 31st October and all students from third-year up would be allowed to attend. Since we never had any other official parties in the school year (although unlicensed ones in the Room of Requirement were not uncommon) everyone looked forward to it.

After a few days discussion, Sandy, Rhian and I decided to go together as we all agreed the chances of us being asked were unlikely. In our third-year, we'd all had boys to go with and the year after we had gone in a big group. However, this year we were a bit more diverse. Devyn offered to accompany one of us but Sandy pointed out a pretty sixth-year who kept looking at him and suggested that he try his luck with her, which he promptly did. So it was decided that we'd just go together and have fun, rather than seeing it as a formal ball.

Lysana supposed that she would probably end up going by herself. I asked whether Rune or Richard would accompany her but she just snorted and informed me that Richard was too quiet to ask anyone to go anywhere and Rune already had someone in mind. That surprised me- Rune had told me that he would probably go alone- but Lysana told me that he was refusing to tell anyone who he was planning to ask until he had asked her for fear of embarrassment. This story seemed unlikely but then, everything Rune said seemed unlikely. I considered asking her if she wanted to go with me and the other two girls but I already knew that she would not want it and Sandy and Rhian would never agree. So the question went unasked.

The one really good thing about this dance was that all talk of the murder was gone and we were finally able to talk about something which interested me (although, hearing people's plans for their dress robes did get a bit boring after a while). The downside was the fact that Sephy (whom I spoke to quite often now) was too young to go and this seemed to get her down quite a bit. As a result, some of our conversations were rather depressing and I had to remind myself to smile when I left her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I found out who Rune was planning to ask about one week before the Ball. It was probably obvious to the rest of the school but, of course, being me, I hadn't noticed it at all.

As we left Herbology, one sunny afternoon, Rune walked in front of me, Sandy and Rhian and asked to have a word with me. After the usual warning glares from everyone, Sandy and Rhian agreed to wait for me whilst I walked away to talk to Rune.

"So, what's up?" I asked once Rune had judged we were a suitable distance away.

"Want to go to the Ball with me?" He asked. His face showed no trace of embarrassment. Mine turned red.

"Why?" I blurted out. He raised an eyebrow.

"Because, generally, people go together." He remarked in a dry voice.

But Lysana told me you were going to ask someone."

He smirked. "Yes, well, I am. Unless there's something you wish to tell me?" I shook my head. "I have to uphold tradition and ask a girl to go with me. And it's easier to ask a friend then some random girl I don't even like."

I thought for a moment. "Why don't you ask Lysana then?"

He laughed. "And deny Richard the chance?" He asked gleefully. "At some point, he will work up the courage to ask her. I'm not going to steal the chance away. So, you coming or not?" The art of subtlety had clearly left him.

"I'm sorry." I said. "But I already said that I'd go with Rhian and Sandy, just on a girl's night out, you know?"

"So they're your friends. They'll let you go." He dismissed.

"Yeah, but I'd feel bad if I had a date and they didn't." I pointed out, blushing at the use of the word 'date'. Rune didn't seem to notice it. Instead, he laughed again.

"Trust me," he remarked. "You'd be doing them a favour."

I was confused. "How would I be doing them a favour?"

He looked over my shoulder in the direction they were in and smirked. "Let's just say that they won't be dateless for long."

"Huh?"

"They're going to realise they have dates after all."

"You set them up?" Even as I said this, I knew how unlikely it was.

He sighed. "You're really thick sometimes, you know that? Let me put this simply. They are going to go to the Ball together and will, presumably, realise that they actually fancy each other. Do you understand?"

"What do you mean?" The words hadn't really had an impact in my head.

"Well, when two people fancy each other-"

"No." I interrupted. "What do you mean _they_ fancy each other?"

He snorted. "It's obvious. They like each other. Aldritt over there-" Here, he gestured to Rhian, "-has guessed by the way. She won't say it to anyone, but she's realised that she likes Pierce and not in a 'friends' way. Pierce, on the other hand, isn't quite so sure. Just let them have the Ball together."

"Are you sure?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"If I had to pick one pair this year and say they were definitely going to get together, then your girls would be my choice."

"You're lying." I said flatly. Something about the way his eyes were laughing and his voice was humorous told me so.

This didn't seem to offend him. "I'm not. Come on, just look at them. So lost in each other. Always hugging each other. It's obvious."

"Rune-"

"Alright." He sounded amused. "Let's ask someone." He looked around and spotted another Slytherin. "Hey, Andrews." He called. "Look at Pierce and Aldritt. What do you reckon?"

The boy laughed. "Those two? I hear wedding bells Everett. Why? Doesn't your girlfriend think so?" Rune shook his head. "I reckon if we shouted fire, they wouldn't hear us." He laughed again before wandering off. Rune looked at me.

"You see?" He was still smirking

"But they're Sandy and Rhian!" I protested.

"Good job Holly. You finally learnt their names." His voice was just as amused as always. He couldn't see the big deal.

"But they're best friends."

"Yes. And soon they'll be more." He said patiently. "What's so hard to accept about it?"

"Nothing." I replied. I wasn't really sure why the idea couldn't take in my head. I glanced over at them. They were deep in conversation, as usual. Maybe Rune was right.

"Good. Now, you going to go to the ball with me?" He asked, interrupting my thoughts. "If you won't do it for me, do it for them." He looked at me, trying to make a puppy dog face. It didn't really work.

"If I say yes, will you stop pulling that face?" I asked, my voice every bit as dry as his. He nodded. "Fine then. I'll go."

He grinned. "Excellent. Now go over and break the 'sad' news to your friends. Try not to get killed by them or McDonald. I want my date to be in one piece." He winked at me before sauntering off. I looked at him for a moment and then turned to walk back. How had I ended up going to the Ball with Rune?

On returning, I watched the girls carefully but I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary; they had always been like that.

"Hey," Sandy said when she finally noticed me. "What did Everett want?"

We began to walk. "He…uh…" I tried to think of a safe way to say it. "He asked me to the Ball." I blurted out.

Rhian raised an eyebrow. "I thought he wasn't your boyfriend." She remarked. Sandy laughed, remembering the night they had woken me up after I mumbled that.

"He isn't." I replied. "We're going as friends. Some pureblood tradition."

"Yeah, right." Rhian said scornfully. "I bet he's going to-"

"Rhian!" Sandy said. "If Holly likes him-"

"We're just friends!" I cried, annoyed.

Sandy shrugged. "Fair enough. I thought we were going together though." I resisted the suddenly strong urge to ask if that meant the three of us were dating.

"I can refuse if you want."

"Don't worry." Rhian said, surprisingly kindly considering she had been having a go at me a moment before. "If you really want to go with him, then I reckon we can survive by ourselves. Maybe we can pull as well." Normally, I would have assumed that she just being kind to me but, having heard what Rune had said, I observed her a bit more closely than usual. Although she was smiling, I noticed that she glanced towards Sandy. I looked away.

Sandy, oblivious to Rhian, laughed. "I think I'll need to work on my technique Rhi. Holly, how do you do it?" And with that statement, the tension was forgotten.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The rest of the week progressed quickly. I broke the news to everyone else over dinner, right before I got up to leave. Devyn looked furious but I had a feeling that Sandy had already warned him because all he said was 'how nice Holly. If he bugs you just tell me. Danny wouldn't mind hurting him.' I was glad he had decided not to kick up a fuss although I doubted his brother would do anything for me, even if it was beating up Rune.

The day before the Ball, true to Rune's prediction, Richard asked Lysana to go with him. She was very excited and it actually took me a few minutes to get the news out of her. Unfortunately, her brother chose that moment to walk past and overheard us. He gave Lysana a long warning on how to act whilst with Richard ('Preserve your honour' He said to which Lysana snorted and replied 'I will if the situation arises. Go away Cygel') Upon leaving, he fixed me a long look and told Lysana that she had better not act like me. He was a really big guy so I didn't feel the need to say anything although Lysana asked if that meant she should go jump Richard now. At that moment, I decided to leave myself- getting into an argument with Cygel was not on my list of top ten things to do.

When Lysana had finished arguing with her brother, she caught up to me and we found the two boys. We decided to meet in the Entrance Hall at ten to seven. I knew that Sandy and Rhian weren't planning to go down until seven on the dot, so I supposed I would be walking down alone.

On the next day, I don't know if anyone actually paid any attention in lessons. The only thing people talked about was the Ball. Even Langtree managed to stop staring at me long enough to tell people to be quiet and get on with their work. It was the most normal he had been towards me, although as we left the class, I could have sworn I heard him wish me good luck. What for, I could not work out, but I supposed it was nice of him to do it anyway.

Once in my new green robes (nothing Sandy or Rhian said would convince me to try the boy's robes on- for one thing, they were a bit too big for me anyway) I had nothing to do except help the other two get ready. Sandy insisted on doing my hair but I backed away at the sight of make-up; I have never been very fond of decorating myself. Finally, they let me go down to the Entrance Hall.

Rune was already waiting there with Richard and Lysana. When I arrived, he elegantly held out an arm and asked if he could escort me. I held his arm, feeling slightly strange as I did so. Rune seemed completely indifferent to people's stares, although I couldn't help blushing. I didn't like being the centre of attention.

There weren't many people in the Great Hall when we arrived and the band was playing a popular song. The four of us stayed together, laughing and talking, whilst others arrived. At about half-seven, the Hall seemed packed, and the band struck up a quick song. I sat out with Lysana and watched the other dancers- Devyn looked happy with his sixth-year. Olivia and Anthony were together, although Natasha was with someone from the year below. Cassius was with a Slytherin I didn't recognise.

We got up as the song ended and arrived back, just in time for a slow dance to begin. Rune smirked and offered his hand. "Would you care to dance Miss Carew?" He asked, his voice polite.

I took his hand. "Yes…Mr. Everett…" I couldn't quite get the hang of sounding formal with Rune. I just couldn't pull it off the way he could.

It wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. As we twirled around in a circle, he kept up a stream of random jokes and soon, all of my misgivings were gone. The next time a slow song came on, I didn't hesitate to dance.

Over the next two and a half hours, I mostly stayed with Rune and the other two. I did spend a few songs with Rhian and Sandy, who seemed to be coping well on their own, although I noticed that neither of them danced with any boys. For one song, we all swapped partners; I danced with Richard and Lysana danced with Rune. Richard and I danced conventionally, until we saw the other two attempt to do a tango. Considering the music had to be one of the slowest songs known to man, the sight was very funny and neither me nor Richard could stop laughing long enough to dance properly again.

By about ten o'clock, I was hot, and so was Rune apparently. He suggested going outside and I leapt at the chance.

"So," he said as we left the Hall, "are you having fun?"

"Yep." I grinned. "Are you?"

"Why, yes I am." He said in his formal voice. We reached the door. "After you, Miss Carew." He bowed gallantly, making me giggle.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He smiled. We walked over to a statue in silence.

"Which band are we listening to again?" I asked. I liked any kind of music but keeping track of all the different bands was hard. The only one I actually knew off the top of my head was the Weird Sisters and that was only because Devyn sang their songs constantly; they were ancient and the only live versions nowadays were cover songs.

"The Hedgedragons." Rune replied. "Say, Holly, what would you-"

"Ssssh." I interrupted him. I had just heard voices and they sounded like Sandy and Rhian's. Poking my head around the statue, I spotted them talking, the full moon's light shining directly upon them. I decided not to interrupt. Rune glanced around as well.

"-I'm not sure…really…maybe I've been um…" Sandy was mumbling. Rhian was looking at her with a slightly perplexed look. "It's really, uh…" My heart went out to her. Sandy was not a nervous person. Whatever she was trying to say must have been really scary.

"It's really what?" Rhian asked when Sandy looked like she had frozen.

"Weird." Sandy blurted.

"What is?" asked Rhian after another considerable silence.

"Um…I, uh…" She turned beet red. "I…uh…" She trailed off. Then: "Ithinkilikeyou"

"Pardon?" Rhian clearly hadn't understood a word. Neither had I.

Sandy looked away. "D-don't hate me." She mumbled, looking incredibly vulnerable. "I just…I think I like you."

"Well, we are friends." Rhian replied, not understanding. Rune took the moment to poke me and give me a 'told you so' look. I ignored him.

"No." Sandy cried. "I mean I _like_ you. I think."

"Oh."

"I can go away. I just…I don't know. I only really thought it now and I never considered it before and you look really pretty but if you don't want to hang around with me, I'll understand but I thought I should-" She was cut off by Rhian bending down to kiss her. I felt like I was intruding on something incredibly private. Which, I supposed, I actually was.

Rhian smiled for the first time. "It's not just me then? You like me back?" She asked. The amount of relief and happiness in her voice was incredible. Mutely, Sandy nodded. Rhian kissed her again. I glanced away, embarrassed.

"We should go." Rune hissed. "Now." He grabbed my hand and we snuck back to the Hall. I didn't look at my friends.

We slid back into the Great Hall, just in time for another slow dance to begin. Rune smiled charmingly and offered me his hand. I took it, still thinking about Rhian and Sandy. "Well," Rune said, breaking into my thoughts. "Cassius owes me a galleon."

"What?"

He grinned. "Cassius didn't believe me when I said those two would get together today. I bet him a galleon."

"Oh right." I muttered. How could Rune take this so calmly?

He looked at me. "You didn't either." He commented. I shrugged. "And now you're freaked out."

I jumped. How could he work me out so well? "Am not." I replied.

"Yes you are." He said, amused. "Why are you so bothered?"

"I'm not." I lied.

"_Holly_."

I sighed. "I don't know." I replied. "Maybe it's because they're my best friends and it's weird to see them kiss." I was on safe ground there.

He wasn't fooled. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Or maybe it's because they're both girls?"

I shook my head. "That's not it."

"Well, none of them had a problem with you and McDonald dating and you two were best friends." He pointed out. The music changed and we let go of each other.

"Come on Rune. It's nearly the Twenty Fifties. I think I'm alright with homosexual people." I protested.

"And I'm sure you are, in theory." The spiky haired boy said amiably. "But you're not with them."

"I-" I began.

"Think about what you're going to say first. And don't lie." He smiled to take the sting out of his words.

I thought for a moment. I supposed that, in theory, I didn't have a problem. But the idea of two girls kissing made me feel disgusted and the thought of Rhian and Sandy doing it was uncomfortable. "I am, sort of. But, it's just…" I began.

"Yes?"

"I dunno. I guess, the idea just makes me feel…weird. And them doing it is just weirder."

To my surprise, he didn't seem to see a joke in it. He was actually looking serious. "That's a pretty common reaction." He informed me. "If it helps you, think about how much happier they'll be together. They've found the right sort of people."

"I guess…"

He smirked, the amused glint coming back into his eyes. "Can't argue with love, right?" I shook my head. "Don't worry Holly," he added softly. "You'll get your head round it eventually."

I smiled for the first time. He was right. It was already starting to feel less weird. He laughed and pulled me over to where Richard and Lysana were. They looked questioningly at us but seemed appeased by Rune's explanation of us going for a walk to cool off. Lysana did raise one eyebrow at me but that was the only comment.

The dance was due to end at midnight. I spent the rest of it just having a good time, although I did glance around to see if I could spot Rhian and Sandy (I couldn't). Finally, it was the last song. The band struck up another slow one. With a wry smile, Rune held out his hand. We started twirling.

"You know," I remarked thoughtfully, "you're actually quite nice."

"Thanks." He replied, his voice deadpan. "Glad to hear I'm not actually a horrible creep."

"Sorry." I smiled. "I mean, you were surprisingly nice about the whole Rhian and Sandy thing." It was true as well. I had expected Rune to mock me.

"I'm allowed to be nice sometimes." He paused for a moment. "Actually, since we're on the subject of romance…do you want to go out with me?"

I paused with shock. Where on earth had that come from? "What?" I asked after a moment.

"Go out with me." He didn't seem annoyed at my reaction. "As in, boyfriend and girlfriend, hold hands and so on. Only condition is that I get to be the boyfriend." His eyes laughed at me.

"Uh…" I couldn't think of what to say. Go out with him? We were just friends. And he was a Slytherin anyway.

"Care to elaborate?" He asked, still amused. I had no response. I didn't _think_ I fancied him, but he always knew how to make me laugh. And he was quite good looking. And he had understood exactly how I felt about Rhian and Sandy. What harm could it do? He was certainly the sort of person I could see myself dating.

"Um…yeah, I guess…" I muttered uncertainly.

"You don't sound very sure."

I hated it when he used that tone of voice on me. It always made me protest. Without thinking, I replied, "Yeah, I am. I'd love to."

He grinned. "Great." If he knew that it was his tone of voice that had done it, he didn't let it show. "I knew this was a good night."

The song ended and we were told to go back to our Common Rooms. Rune took my hand and we began to walk. It didn't feel strange. Once outside, we made arrangements to meet in the Foyer before breakfast. I wasn't sure what he was planning. Before he left, he kissed me on the cheek, making me blush. Then, with a characteristic wink and a trademark Rune Everett smile, he wandered off. I walked back to the tower in a daze, ignoring the stares I got off people who had seen what had happened.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rhian was still there by the time I woke up. She greeted me happily and would not stop smiling. In comparison, I was a lot less talkative (which was fairly normal anyway) and I couldn't help looking away. When I went downstairs, I was glad; if I had stayed with her much longer, I was sure that I would have blurted out '_I saw you kiss Sandy last night_'. I had a feeling that neither of the girls would want everyone to know straight away and I didn't want to incur anyone's wrath as a result of my spying- even if said spying was an accident.

Rune smiled when he saw me and leant over to kiss me on the cheek again. I smiled back. Wordlessly, he showed me a galleon- presumably the one he had won off Cassius- and winked, making me laugh.

It was fairly late on the Saturday morning and most students had already gotten up. Exactly where the pair of us were going to sit was a mystery, although Rune suggested we sit with his friends since mine were more likely to cause a commotion. I pointed out that half the people in Slytherin hated me but he assured me we could sit far away from them.

We entered the Hall holding hands. As we began to walk to the table, people stared at us and whispered. I assumed it was because of us being a couple. I couldn't have been more wrong.

"Hey Carew." Someone shouted. "Where's your brother?"

"What?" I shouted without thinking. What did they want to know that for? But no one seemed interested in answering my question. Shouts came thick and fast around the hall.

"Yeah, when are they gonna catch him?"

"Bet you're just the same."

"Always knew she was rotten."

"Just ignore them." Rune advised as we sat down. "They're being idiots." This would have been good advice had Rune actually known what they were talking about. The Slytherins stared at me. I felt uncomfortable.

Finally: "Why didn't you tell me Holly?" Lysana asked.

"I only asked her yesterday." Rune replied in his slow drawl. "She hasn't worked out telepathy yet Lysana."

"What?" She sounded confused. Then she realised what he meant. "Oh, not about that," She dismissed. "We all knew that would happen. I mean about your brother."

My heart started pounding. Had they found Zac? But then, how had they linked us? "What do you mean?"

"Yeah." A voice behind me said. I turned to look at Sandy. "I want to know what Malfoy wants to know as well."

"Know what?" I asked, now really confused.

"Stop hiding it and just tell us." Cassius joined in.

"I'll stop hiding it when one of you tells me what's going on!" I cried, frustrated.

"Here." Someone thrust a newspaper at me. "Read this."

I caught the paper and looked at it. The first thing which caught my eye was a picture of a fifteen-year-old boy, smirking.

"He looks like you." Rune whispered in shock. And he did. The boy in the picture was a male version of me. There were differences- he was a bit taller, his skin a bit paler, his hair cut shorter. His nose was a slightly different shape, his arm was free of birthmarks- but there were more similarities: his piercing eyes, the same facial features, the same hair colour with a stray lock falling across the forehead, the same smirk I could do… we looked almost the same.

Drawing a deep breath, I steeled myself and looked at the headline, almost knowing what would be written there.

**WANTED: ZAC CAREW ON SUSPICION OF MURDER.**


	11. The Murderer's Sister

Disclaimer: Yeah. As if i owned Harry Potter. I wish.

Geth342: Yikes, i almost forgot i was meant to update today! Good thing i checked. Anyway, the next update will be the 19th, hopefully. Hope you all enjoy, and you all rock so far. (By the by, i hate the new layout. I keep favouriting stories by accident!)

Chapter 11: The Murderer's Sister

"Well?" Sandy demanded after I looked up. I hadn't actually read the article properly.

"Um…" I tried to think of something to say. "I've never met this guy. What do you think I know?" Even to me, this sounded lame and unlikely. I was not surprised at the scornful looks I received.

"Holly. He looks like you and he has your surname." Lysana pointed out flatly.

"Hey, this is that guy everyone thinks I'm related to!" I exclaimed in a surprised voice. "Wow. No wonder everyone thinks that…" I trailed off.

"Hate to tell you Holly, but you're not fooling anyone." Rune whispered in my ear. I didn't need to reply. I had worked that out for myself.

"Why didn't you tell any of us about him?" Devyn demanded from behind me. I groaned. Did the whole hall have to interrogate me?

"Why does it matter?" I snapped, trying for the offensive. "He probably didn't even do it! I don't have to tell you all about my life."

"Oooh, watch out." Someone jeered. "She's gonna kill us too." Soon, everyone was shouting.

"Everybody duck!"

"Get the dementors."

"Why would you keep this a secret?"

"Thought we were your friends."

In the end, I grabbed a slice of toast and ran out of the room, trying to hold back tears. Why were they all shouting at me? How was I supposed to know if Zac was a murderer? And it wasn't as if I asked all about their lives. Everyone had secrets. Why was I supposed to be the person who had to give all of hers up?

I ran out to the far end of the lake, sat a good distance away behind a tree- wouldn't it be just my luck to fall in and drown? - and realised that I still had the paper in my hand (the hand without the toast). With a sense of dread, I ate the toast and read the article.

Apparently, investigations had shown that Zac had been hanging around Adam Etasyl's house for a while before the murder. In addition, studies showed that, as I had guessed, the note referred to the Battle of the Snakes.

Then came the big shock- according to the paper, Zac had been the sixteen-year-old instigator of the battle. He had fought in it and, eventually, attempted to stop it, although why was unknown. It appeared that there had been a power struggle and he had lost. When arrested, Zac had escaped and had not been seen since- thus, the only picture they had was of him in his fifth year.

He had lied to me. Everything he had told me had been a lie. _He_ was the one responsible for Michelle Grant's death. Did Mum and Dad know? Yes, of course they did. My whole family had lied to me.

I looked across the lake from behind my tree for a while, thinking about it. Somehow, I couldn't match Zac to the murderer. Besides, didn't papers get it wrong sometimes? After all, if my middle name was Michelle, maybe he named me after Grant. So, maybe he wasn't a ruthless criminal. But he had still lied to me. My whole family had.

"Hey. I didn't know you had a famous brother. That's pretty interesting." A deep voice said. I turned to look at the speaker.

"You can dump me if you want." I suggested tiredly, suddenly remembering how puffy my eyes were from crying.

Rune sat down next to me. "That wouldn't be very friendly." He replied. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because I lied about my older brother and now he's a murderer." I pointed out.

"Murder suspect. According to a paper which seems to print five percent truth anyway. Besides, Lysana reckons that Adam Etasyl was worse than Zac. Her dad did all this work on the case." He added in response to my unasked question.

"Oh yeah." I said with sudden realisation. "She told me that once. But she said she didn't know anything."

"I think she guessed about you." Rune replied dryly. "But if you weren't saying anything, she probably didn't want to either. Remember- her family is one of the most hated. She's mad at you though."

"I noticed. I think they all are." I tried to keep a quaver out of my voice. The thought of having _everyone_ hating me was more than I could bear. But then again, why wouldn't they? After all, I was the sister of a murderer.

"I'm not." Rune pointed out. I looked at him with surprise.

"You're not?" I asked. He shook his head. Then: "Why aren't you?"

He smirked for the first time. "D'you want me to be?" I shook my head. "Everyone has a secret Holly. You probably would have said it eventually. Besides, how are you accountable for what someone else did? It's not like you murdered him." He put his arm around me. Without thinking, I put my head on his shoulder. This relationship thing was growing on me quite quickly.

We sat in silence for a while. I thought about the whole situation. The main thing that kept coming back to me was whether Zac was a murderer. He didn't seem like one. He was kind and funny, when he wanted to be. And he was so busy he probably didn't have time to kill people. Then again, how well did I even know him? If he had told me to lie about something he was lying about, then how much further could he go? Could he be the murderer? Glancing over at Rune, he looked deep in thought as well. I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Ah, there she is gentlemen." A crisp voice said. "Miss Carew, would you get up from there?" Both Rune and I looked up at Professor Neclor. He looked slightly stressed. There were two strange men with him. Slowly, I got up. Rune did as well and held onto my hand. We looked at the men.

One of them stepped forward and regarded us. "You are Holly Carew?" I nodded. "We'd like to have a word with you."

"What about?" I asked without thinking.

"The murder of Adam Etasyl." He replied coolly.

"What if she doesn't want to go?" Rune asked defiantly. I glared at him. It generally isn't a good idea to antagonise the qualified wizard.

"Then she can be arrested for perverting the course of justice."

That didn't sound like a good idea. "No problem. I'll go." I said as chirpily as I could. I looked at the boy next to me and hoped he would stay silent. He did.

I followed the two men and Neclor into the castle with Rune following us and refusing to let go of my hand. It was quite sweet in a way; he even glared at all the people glaring at me, which was an unusual thing for him to do. Eventually, however, we reached Professor Longbottom's office and Rune was told to go away. He looked irritated for a moment but then, with a smirk, he kissed me on the cheek and sat down. Clearly, he was planning to wait for me. Whether this was because he wanted to actually wait for me or to antagonise the two wizards, I did not know.

I was lead up a staircase into Longbottom's office. I had never been there before but I was a bit too scared to appreciate anything in it. Longbottom, himself, sat at a table, looking at me curiously. Behind him were a few portraits of men, mostly glaring at me. I was told to sit down in a chair while Neclor sat to the side. The two men stood next to me and introduced themselves as Mr. Jenkins and Mr. Kinsella, Aurors. I did my best to look normal.

They assured me that they just wanted to ask me a few questions and that I had nothing to worry about. I could not help but wonder why they hadn't asked me the questions _before_ the newspaper release but I didn't suppose they would tell me.

"So, what is your full name?" One of the wizards asked. I thought he might be Jenkins.

"Holly Michelle Carew." I replied as calmly as I could.

"Where do you live?" Kinsella asked.

Why did they need to know that? "Caernewydd in Wales."

"Your full address." He said blandly.

"23 Trefforest avenue, Brownhill, Caernewydd." I recited, equally bland.

"Have your parents moved house at all?"

"No..." Now I was confused. What did _that_ have to do with anything?

"So, who's in your family? Immediate family?"

I considered the question. Something told me that giving an elaborate lie about my family wouldn't work. Maybe if I kept it short and simple. "Mum, dad and brother."

"What are their names?"

"Lisa, Tom and Zac."

"How much older is Zac than you?" Their voices were still completely bland.

"Nearly sixteen years."

"How close are you two?"

"Not very." I answered without thinking.

They frowned at each other. "Could you elaborate?" Jenkins asked.

"We get on. I talk to him. We're just not close." I struggled to keep my voice calm. They had unknowingly stepped upon one of the banes of my life.

Suddenly, Kinsella smiled. "So you couldn't say you know him well."

"Well…" I began. Something told me that lying was a bad idea. But I couldn't tell them the truth. They were trying to get me to arrest my own brother. "Not extremely. But well enough."

The frowns again. "What do you mean?"

"I know what sort of person he is."

"Oh yes?" Jenkins raised an eyebrow. "And what's that then?"

"He doesn't have it in him to be a killer." I said defiantly, not sure if I was teling the truth or not.

The pair traded looks. "How can you be so sure?"

I considered going for the 'are you seriously telling me my brother is a killer' option but I knew this would backfire- they would just provide evidence. "Because I do know him. He's a nice person."

"So was Peter Pettigrew." Kinsella muttered. I had no idea what he was on about. Apparently his partner did because he glared at him.

"Are you aware that we have evidence connecting your brother to the murder?" Jenkins asked menacingly, switching his glare to me.

"Why are you asking me questions then? Go convict him." I replied without thinking. Then I bit my lip. Now I was antagonising the qualified wizards.

"We need to back it up." Kinsella muttered smoothly.

This sounded stupid to me. "I think you're trying to get me to lie to you. Sir." I didn't really appreciate his attempts at manipulating me. They both glared at me.

"Did you know your brother was in the Battle of the Snakes?"

"Yes. It was in the paper." I was getting ruder but I didn't care much.

"And did you know he started it?" I nodded. "And two students died. I would call that murder."

"I wouldn't." I replied, equally defiant. "He didn't actually kill either of them. And, he never even met Tom Howell." I stated proudly.

"How do you know?"

"I asked him ages ago."

"What about Michelle Grant?"

I hesitated. I knew he had met her but I didn't know how well they knew each other. "Yeah, he did. Didn't kill her though. Besides, I thought that their deaths were what the murderer was annoyed about…" I trailed off. Had I accidently gotten myself into a tighter spot by making it seem like Zac was angry?

"So did Zac hate Adam Etasyl?"

"No." This was another bare-faced lie- again, I had no idea.

"Is he violent?"

"No."

The questioning went on and on. Sometimes, they asked me about people I had never heard of and sometimes, they asked me strange things- was he married? Where did he live? What was his favoured spell? Did he have any children? What were their names? (They hadn't listened when I said no). Then they asked me something even weirder.

"Did you know you're not registered on the list of magical people? It made finding you quite tricky." They looked at me intently. I hadn't even known that a register existed, let alone whether I was on it until that point. Still, at least it explained why they were talking to me now as opposed to before.

"No." I replied.

"Now why do you think you're not on there?" Kinsella glared at me as though I had, personally, taken myself off it.

"I don't know. Maybe someone accidently deleted me."

"There seem to be signs that you were on it once." Jenkins pointed out.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Now Kinsella looked furious. "Is that it?"

I shrugged, confused. "What else can I say?"

"Why have you been taken off it?" He shouted.

"I don't know."

"Did your brother do it?" Now he sounded angry.

"I don't know." I tried to keep my tone the same but I couldn't help looking at the door. Could I escape if he got too angry?

"Where is your brother?"

"I don't know."

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?" He sounded absolutely furious. I shrank back. Why was he shouting at me?

"Um…no sir." I mumbled. I could see Longbottom glaring at the man.

"Why did he kill Adam Etasyl?" He was calmer but the angry note was still there.

"He…he didn't." I mumbled, still scared. "He wouldn't."

"STOP LYING!"

"I'm n-not."

Suddenly, he leapt forward, a wild glint in his eyes, and held his wand at me. "Tell the truth. Did your brother do it?"

I stared at the wand. I had to be very careful. "I, uh…no…he…" I stuttered.

"Mr. Kinsella, I believe your interrogation has gone beyond the respectable standards for a student." I heard Neclor say coldly. He was standing up, with his wand pointed at Kinsella. "Kindly put your wand away. I don't think Professor Longbottom will go against me when I say that this interview is over?" He glanced at Lonbottom who also had his wand out. He shook his head.

Jenkins nodded. "Very well. I apologise for my partner's behaviour and for my lack of control over him. He is young." I looked at them and realised that, actually, there was quite an age difference between them. He turned to me. "Thank you for your co-operation Miss Carew. Once again, I apologise." He turned to his partner who put his wand away.

"I apologise as well." The young man muttered. The two men said their goodbyes to Longbottom and then left the room. I stared after them.

"Holly," my Head of House said softly, coming to stand by me. "Are you alright?"

"I…I think so sir." I replied numbly. I wasn't quite sure what had just happened.

"Well, Miss Carew," Longbottom began, speaking to me for the first time…ever. "I'm sorry about what just happened. If I knew they were going to do that, I would never have let them talk to you."

"It's alright." I mumbled. I couldn't help but think that, really, he should never have let them near me if they had wands. If they thought my brother was a murderer, then obviously they would get mad at me. Why hadn't he thought about it? "Can I go now?" He nodded. I got up and left.

I couldn't stop shaking.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rune did not seem at all surprised by the way the Aurors had acted. He informed me that, generally, Aurors were jerks when working. All they seemed to care about was catching their criminal and if that meant scaring a fifteen-year-old girl then that was what would happen. He then informed me that, if it made me feel any better, he had managed to pick the younger man's pockets for one sickle, which startled a laugh out of me; I didn't know he knew how to do that.

After this, he wanted to know what I wanted to do next. My first few suggestions were increasingly violent, up to and including finding my brother and murdering him myself. He was the one who had gotten us all in this mess, even if he hadn't killed Etasyl (and really, I had very little evidence to say he hadn't). Rune, however, didn't seem to think that this was such a good idea and told me why each plan was flawed in his amused voice. Finally, I settled for writing an angry letter to my parents.

We sat outside again, despite the fact that it was now quite cold. Thankfully it wasn't raining, although I had a deep suspicion that it would start when I finished the letter, thus ruining any writing I did. Rune decided to write his own letter because 'everyone was doing it'. At least he still had his sense of humour. Soon, we were both scribbling away quietly.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Just wondering. When exactly were you planning to tell me that Zac is a criminal? Or that he was in school for a lot longer than you said he was? In fact, when were you planning to tell me the truth?_

_Yes, I know. I know all about it. I know he was in that battle 16 years ago and I know he knew Michelle Grant. And do you know HOW I found out? From the newspaper. And even if I hadn't read it, I think the two Aurors (like the police) who came to interrogate me would have filled me in._

_Why did you lie to me? I've been lying for Zac all these years and none of you told me the truth, not once. Why not? Don't I deserve to know?_

_Just thought I would add that everyone in school, apart from Rune, is mad at me. My friends are mad because I lied. Everyone else is mad because they think Zac killed Adam Etasyl. Did he do it? I would say no but now, I'm not really sure what to believe._

_Reply soon please. And don't lie._

_Holly._

I looked over my letter. It didn't really sound like me but that was the point. Judging from all the glares I had received from the student body, my life was about to become very miserable, very quickly. I needed to tell them exactly _why_ I was unhappy. Thinking about it, maybe I could tell Zac as well. I decided to write him a quick note.

_Zac._

_I know all about the battle and the murder. What the hell is going on? And don't lie to me because I've had it up to here with lying._

_Holly._

This note was a lot curter but I thought that, frankly, he deserved it. By the time I had finished writing both letters, Rune had finished his. We headed off to the Owlery, holding hands.

It soon became apparent that, somehow, the entire school had heard about the interrogation. Except their version was slightly different from mine- in this one, I refused to co-operate and told one of the Aurors that my brother would get him. Kinsella's threat was actually a 'safety measure'.

Until I heard those rumours, I did not know that it was possible to feel that angry. But this was beyond ridiculous. My House, at least, knew that I would not say boo to a goose. Why on earth would I threaten two professional wizards?

Somehow, we managed to get to the Owlery without any incidents and soon our letters were sent. Unfortunately, it occurred to me that it was two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, there was no safe place to go in the general school and unless we went our separate ways, neither I nor Rune could go to our Common Rooms. The same thought seemed to have occurred to Rune. After a minute's discussion, we ended up back outside where it had begun to rain.

If there was one good thing to come out of the whole situation, it was that I finally accepted the idea that Rune was my boyfriend. The way he had handled everything and stuck by me for the entire day was sweet and, somewhere towards the evening, I found myself mentally calling him my boyfriend rather than my friend. Maybe he sensed this because, when we split up in the Entrance Hall to go back to our respective Common Rooms, he gave me a swift kiss on the mouth rather than the cheek and then sauntered off as though he did not have a care in the world. Completely pole-axed, I watched dumbly as a younger Slytherin boy spoke to him, making angry gestures at me. He nodded, shook his head and then patted the boy on the head before continuing on to the dungeons. I left before the other boy could say anything.

The moment I walked into the Common Room, I immediately began to wish that I had stayed outside in the rain and the dark. Everyone was glaring at me. I walked, very self-consciously, up to my dorm so I could change into dryer clothes. Every person I walked near immediately stopped talking, as though scared that I would eavesdrop. I received the same treatment when I came back out of the dormitory.

Unfortunately, there was still some time left before dinner. Looking around, I spotted Devyn talking with Sandy and Rhian. Summoning up all of my courage, I decided to sit with them. I may as well start apologising now I thought.

"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you guys." I began, sitting down next to them. They all glared at me. "But my brother made me promise and I was scared. I'll tell you the truth now, if you want."

"So do you have a brother, or are you lying about that too?" Rhian asked in a sour voice.

"I…I only have one brother. And no magical cousin." I mumbled. "Zac's my only brother."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Devyn snapped.

"He made me promise. He said that people don't like people who've been expelled."

"Yeah, we're not too fond of murderers." Devyn agreed angrily.

"He's not a murderer." I pointed out.

"Did you read the paper?"

"Did you meet my brother?"

"Guys, that's not the point." Sandy cut in wearily. She looked torn- she couldn't cope with conflict very well. "It's the fact that Holly lied to us for years."

"I'm sorry." I said. "But it was one thing. And it doesn't even affect me."

"What about all the stuff he did in school?" Rhian pointed out.

"Which I didn't know about." I replied.

"How do we know you're not lying again?" Devyn asked snidely.

"Because I'm not. This is me being honest time. Look, if you had a secret which you swore you wouldn't tell, a secret for someone you loved, wouldn't you keep it?" I sounded corny, I knew.

"He didn't even give you a proper reason." He sneered. "I bet you didn't think it was important."

"You're wrong." My voice was incredibly cold. I had guessed that this secret was important. Just because I hadn't given Devyn this information didn't make it any less true.

"It's not the sercret-keeping, it's the lying thing." Sandy reminded him. "How could you lie about it for four years?"

"Well, it never came up, did it?" Exactly where I was getting a spine from was a mystery- I wasn't usually this argumentative with them. "If you had a secret you didn't want people to know, would you tell me?" I looked her in the eye.

"Yes." They all said.

"Well, is there anything you want to tell me?" I asked. They shook their heads, seemingly confused. I didn't know about Devyn but the other two were, quite obviously, lying to me. I kept looking at Sandy. "I think you're lying right back to me as well." I said softly. "But I'm not going to get mad. An eye for an eye."

"Is this what lying does to you?" Rhian demanded, standing up. "Makes you paranoid? If you think we're all like you then maybe you don't want to speak to us. I'm off." She walked off to some other people. Devyn followed immediately. Sandy looked tortured and then, with a guilty expression, walked away from me as well. No one else would even look at me.

In the space of one day, I had lost every friend I had in Ravenclaw.


	12. Learning to Forgive

Disclaimer: Lying is a bad thing, so i'm going to tell the truth- never owned Harry Potter, never will.

Geth342: This came out really different to my original plan- it was meant to get a lot further in the story but then an idea hit me and, what can i say, it doesn't make it quite so far, plotwise. Sadly, the next chapter goes further plot-wise but not timewise.

Just thought i'd add as well, all Welsh place names are made up but all Welsh in this story will range from 75- 95% accurate (depending on if i find a dictionary) Anyway, i hope you all enjoy. Next update will probably be in 12 days as opposed to ten days as i'm away on the weekend. So 1st December.

Chapter 12: Learning To Forgive

Although we had originally decided to sit with our own tables, I begged Rune to let me sit with him at dinner, explaining my sudden lack of friends. He agreed and added that, if I wanted, I could 'sleep over' as well. I rolled my eyes but had to smile; he clearly had not lost his sense of humour.

In all honesty, the atmosphere on the Slytherin table was not much better- everyone was still glaring at me. However, having only eaten one slice of toast in the whole day, I decided that it would not be a good idea to skip dinner. Nervously, I sat down next to Rune and resolved to stay quiet. Maybe they would just ignore me.

This tactic worked for about five minutes until Lysana, who was sitting opposite Rune asked me why we weren't sitting with the Ravenclaws. I mumbled something about everyone being mad at me and then tried to carry on eating. It didn't work.

"Why are they mad at you then?" She asked somewhat icily, capturing my interest. I tried to look anywhere except at her.

"They're mad because I didn't tell them about my brother." I muttered, gazing at the table.

"Oh. I can understand that." Her tone was still cold. I looked up at her.

"Look, I'm really sorry." I said. "He made me promise to say all that." People started to listen to us whilst pretending they weren't. It was quite disconcerting.

She looked at me for a moment. "Why?"

"He said it was because people don't like expelled people." I said for the second time that day.

"And you didn't know the real reason, did you?" She asked contemplatively. I shook my head. "Bit rude that."

"You guessed, Lysana." Rune interrupted, speaking for the first time. "That time you said Holly had a secret. This is what you were talking about." He sounded conversational- almost as though he were discussing the weather. Cassius looked at her then, his eyes alight with interest.

She shrugged. "It was _her_ prerogative to tell me about him. Not my father's." She said disdainfully.

"Don't you have any secrets Malfoy?" An insolent voice called. "I'd have thought your family was full of them." The speaker- a plump brunette from my year- was sneering at Lysana. Rune reminded me under his breath that this was Louise Pritchard, a member of the group which didn't know whether Muggle-borns were acceptable or not.

"Shut your mouth Pritchard." Lysana called back. "My family's business is our business. We're all legit anyway."

"Sure you are." Pritchard laughed. "Besides, you proved my point." Everyone looked at her, not quite sure what she was talking about. "If your family's business is your family's business then Carew's family business is her business." Lysana still stared at her uncomprehendingly so she added, "She doesn't have to tell you anything Malfoy. You wouldn't tell her everything." I stared at her, wondering exactly when she had decided she liked me. Lysana merely glared at her.

"But as her friend, she does have a right to know." A boy in the year below pointed out. He was sitting next to Cassius so I assumed he was on the 'Muggle-borns aren't that bad' side. "Something that big. Carew should have told her."

"Why? So she could get what she's getting now?" Pritchard asked.

"Carew should treat her friends better is all I'm saying." The boy argued. I found that ironic- the Slytherin talking about genuine friendship like it was a given.

"Secrets are secrets." Someone else pointed out. "If they're going to hurt someone, she should keep them."

"That's a load of crap." Another person said.

"You can't think of another argument." Soon, everyone near us was arguing. They sounded bizarrely like Ravenclaws but it didn't make me feel any better. I swallowed once more.

"Oh, look at that. I'm done." I lied. I had managed to eat about a quarter of my meal. "I guess I'll just be going." I said. No one seemed to be paying any attention to me (despite the fact that they were arguing about me) so I said goodbye and left the Hall. Once I had left, I considered my options and ended up going back outside. When Slytherins are arguing over you, sanity has left the world. I really needed to think.

It was freezing outside and still raining. I sat underneath a tree in a vain attempt to stop myself from being soaked and began to think. Was this the sort of thing that had happened to my brother? Had he tried to hide the secret and had someone find it out? Or did he reveal it on purpose? Lysana had once told me he was responsible for the division in the House; did he mean to do it? Was it an accident? So many questions and no way of knowing the answer.

"Thought you came out this way." Pritchard's voice cut in through my thoughts.

I looked up at her, startled. "Um…hello." I mumbled, still not quite sure why she was here.

She didn't sit down. "Sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Louise Pritchard."

"Pritchard, you've been in my Herbology class for years." I pointed out, now really confused.

She smiled. "I know. I've never spoken to you though." This wasn't surprising because she hung around with the other Slytherin girls- the ones who didn't like me.

"Nice to meet you?" I asked, unsure. Her smile did not waver.

"Just thought I'd let you know that I'm on your side." She added. This was good to know, although I had no idea _why_.

"Thanks." I muttered. Then, feeling unusually bold- most of the castle (except for Rune and this girl anyway) hated me so it wasn't as though I had much to lose out on- I added, "Why are you talking to me? You haven't said a word to me in four years."

She shrugged. "I didn't know you had a relation in Slytherin then." She said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Family ties are important."

"Right." I said. The whole idea of picking who to like because of their family irritated me but I didn't want to lose one of my only allies.

She looked around. "Anyway, it's quite cold so I'm going inside. Are you coming?" I said no. She raised an eyebrow but smiled and waved as she walked off. I watched after her, perplexed.

I don't know exactly how long I sat there. After a while, the rain and cold stopped bothering me and my only other worry was the potions essay I hadn't written. The one thing I do know is that I was there long enough to fall asleep.

I had a strange dream. It wasn't new- i had had it quite a few times before with a few differences- but everytime i had it, i always thought about it.

In the dream, I was sitting in my house. I was a little kid again and I was excited because it was my birthday. I would be staying up late because my brother was coming home. And suddenly, it cut to him coming home (because dreams clearly had no sense of time) and me running down to see him. He smiled properly at me and gave me a hug before handing me a present and going off to talk to Mum and Dad. I opened the present- a book on Greek myths (although, when I looked at it a moment later, it had changed to a book on Welsh legends) and put it down on a nearby table. I started going towards the living-room where my parents were when something caught my eye. A piece of paper. I leant down to pick it up and caught a glimpse of two moving people. But before I could look closer, a giant raindrop fell down on my head and I was caught in a river…

And then I woke up to hear someone shouting my name.

Opening my eyes, I could see that it had stopped raining, although the ground was wet and I was completely soaked. There were dark figures moving about with bright lights. Blearily, I wondered what time it was. Seeing my watch, I realised with a shock that it was nearly eleven at night. How long had I been there for? But, looking at my watch again, it suddenly didn't seem important.

I tried to move as one of the figures came towards me but found that most of my muscles had actually locked in the uncomfortable position I was sitting in. So I sat there silently, watching the strange person move towards me. Numbly, I considered the fact that I felt no fear about who was coming or indeed, the fact that I couldn't move.

"HOLLY! HOLLY! Oh!" The figure shone a light at me and spotted me. "I HAVE HER! SHE'S OVER HERE!" For some reason, I couldn't place the voice. The light came closer. "Oh God. Is she-"

Another figure ran over to me. "You found her. Well done Lys." The name seemed familiar but it just would not register in my head. All I could tell was that the first speaker was a girl and this one was a boy.

There was some frantic running and then a third figure appeared. "There she is!" The speaker exclaimed. "Holly, are you alright?" He asked. This voice was familiar as well but I still couldn't work out who it was. I tried to open my mouth but it just wouldn't work. The figure held out a hand but I couldn't make my body reach out and take it. The figure grunted and hauled me up.

"Here, I'll help." The other boy said. I felt someone grab my shoulders as I tottered on my feet.

"Thanks." The first boy muttered. He seemed to look at me. "Merlin, you look awful Holly. Come on, we'll get you back to your Common Room now. Neclor, Langtree and Rowland are all looking for you as well. Lysana, go tell them we got her." The girl ran off. Once again, I felt strange. I _knew_ that name. In the back of my brain, I definitely knew who Lysana was. But for some reason, the rest of my brain was refusing to co-operate.

I was tugged forward. I stumbled. The second boy groaned. "What the hell's wrong with you?" He muttered.

I opened my mouth and tried to speak. "N-n-n-n-nothing." I stuttered.

The first boy put his hand on my head and moved it back straight away. "Merlin, Potter and Dumbledore!" He shouted. "You're _freezing_! Rich, feel her forehead." The second boy complied and gave off a similar reaction. I was confused- I wasn't freezing. I was wet, definitely, but I felt warm. A nice warm feeling, all through my body.

"Rune, I think she's ill." The second boy said, worried. "How long was she out here for?"

I opened my mouth. "I-I-I'm n-n-not-" I began but the world had started to darken even more and I couldn't keep my focus. Vaguely, I heard more footsteps.

My arms twitched and the boys, startled by my sudden movement, let go of me. My legs gave way.

"That's it! I'm killing her brother myself!" I heard the girl (Lysana) shout as I crashed towards earth.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Dry. I was dry. Completely dry. And, what was more I was warm- even warmer than I had been by the lake.

And I was in a bed.

I considered this calmly until something occurred to me. Why was I in a bed? I had been outside. Although, Rune and the others had found me (somewhere in the back of my brain, I found myself feeling shocked that I knew who was there. But then, how could I not know them?) so maybe they were responsible for this.

I moved my head around and realised that I was in the Hospital Wing. Then I groaned because my head _hurt_. What on earth had happened to me?

"Oh, you're awake." Mrs. Fry said, bustling over to me. "How do you feel dear?"

I considered the question and decided to answer as honestly as possible. "Awful."

She clucked disapprovingly. "That's not surprising, considering the bump your head took."

"I hit my head?" I asked, confused. I didn't remember doing that. I glanced at my watch on the bedside table. Half past twelve and, judging by the light outside, the midday one. By the watch was a potions book. "How long have I been in here for?" I added.

"About a day and a half." She informed me, feeling my head. I sat bolt upright, ignoring the lancing pain in my head. How had I been here for a day and a half?

"I've been in here that long!" I exclaimed. She made me lie back down, apparently very irritated by the idea that I would sit up of my own free will. She gave me an odd look as she did it.

"Yes. You're lucky it wasn't longer." I must have looked puzzled because she then decided to explain _why_ I was lucky. "You came in freezing cold, some parts blue, a bit delirious at the times you did wake up and with a few cuts on your head from where you fell." Guessing I didn't know what she was on about, she added, "The boys who took you in said you fell and hit your head on a rock, hard."

That seemed to explain the headache. "I wasn't freezing." I said suddenly, remembering the nice warm feeling. "I was warm."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Yes. That would be a sign of hypothermia dear. Which is when you're very cold."

"Oh." The bad thing was that I actually knew that.

"Yes. Do you know how long you were out there for? It would help to know."

I considered it for a moment. "I went outside during dinner." I said slowly, trying to remember. "I… I hadn't eaten much all day so I was pretty hungry but it was near the beginning of dinner. Maybe…quarter past six?" She nodded. "Um…someone came and talked to me for a while…she left...it was darker by then. Um…I remember it stopped raining. I, um, I fell asleep. When I woke up, some people were looking for me. I think that was eleven o'clock. I remember not being able to move or talk well."

She nodded. "Okay. Why did you leave dinner? And what do you mean you didn't have much to eat?"

"Well…" I trailed off, suddenly aware of how bad my reason was. "Breakfast, I saw the news. And everyone was mad so I just left with a slice of toast." She nodded brusquely but for the first time, a drop of pity crept into her eyes. "Lunch, I was with some Aurors and I didn't want to go back anyway. And dinner…I had an argument with my friends in Ravenclaw so I sat with my boyfriend and his friends in Slytherin…but my friends there started arguing with me as well and I just didn't want to sit there anymore so I left without eating much dinner." I had not mentioned once what we had all been arguing about but it was pretty obvious. However, Mrs. Fry did not make a single reference to it.

"Well, let's see." She said in a business-like tone. "I think a mixture of stress, cold, hunger and dehydration made you feel ill. And then, hitting your head so hard kept you out of it for a while. So, I'll try to fix the healing now but I don't want you leaving until seven or so. Your…well, someone can give you your work later." I nodded and she left. Feeling a sudden surge of affection for her, I lay back and looked at the ceiling. She had tried to avoid the word 'friends' for me and I had a deep suspicion that she was keeping me in past dinner on purpose; she didn't want me to go back to the Great Hall and have nowhere to sit. Unfortunately, it meant that I was missing a day of school.

She came back and gave me some nasty looking liquid which made my head feel better. Next, she gave me some lunch which I ate quickly and then, after performing some sort of spell on me she wandered off, leaving me alone again (apart from a second-year boy who was sleeping a few beds away. I vaguely wondered why he was there). Eventually, I settled for writing my potions essay which was actually due for last lesson. So it was never going to get there on time.

By the end of two and a half hours, I had a decent, if messily written, essay and I was still bored. With nothing else to do, I ended up reading the potions book. At half four, when Mrs. Fry told me I had visitors, I felt like I could recite half the Potions syllabus standing on my head.

Rune, Richard and Lysana all gathered around my bed as I put the book away. I was unsurprised about Rune but I had no idea why the other two were there; I was under the impression that they were mad at me.

"Hey, you're looking more colourful today," was Rune's first comment. Upon my puzzled look, he grinned and added, "You're not so pale and you have a rather fetching cut on your forehead." Sub-consciously, I placed my hand on the cut. It wasn't very big and would undoubtedly go away soon, but for the meanwhile, it stood out.

"How come you were looking for me? What was going on, on Saturday?" I asked curiously. That was the one part I didn't understand. Or rather, I couldn't understand why they were looking for me at eleven o'clock in the evening.

Of course, Rune took the predictable answer. "We didn't know where you were." I rolled my eyes.

"We hadn't seen you since dinner." Richard chipped in, speaking for the first time. I noticed that he was holding Lysana's hand. "We got worried."

"How did you know I wasn't in the Ravenclaw Common Room?"

"Oh, we looked in there but Pierce said-"

"Wait, wait." I said, interrupting Rune. "What do you mean you looked in there?"

"Followed a Ravenclaw, got there just after they went in, went into room. Not that hard." He was grinning at me now. I was still confused.

"Yes, but how did you get in there?"

He shrugged. "Well…we were sat outside for a while, waiting to ask someone if you were in there but no one came. So I decided to knock that eagle knocker. Figured your password couldn't be that hard to guess…"

"Thanks." I muttered dryly.

He laughed. "Yeah, well, it just asked me a question- that's a crap way of guarding something by the way- so we got it right and went in."

"What did it ask you?"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Something like, 'is this a question'. Am I allowed to continue my story Holly?" He smiled to take the sting out of his words. His eyes laughed at me. He wasn't really annoyed.

"What did you say?"

He shrugged. "Something like, 'sure it is, if this is the answer'. It just opened."

"Oh." Put like that, I could sort of see his point.

"Anyway, no more interruptions." He ordered me. He, along with Richard and Lysana then went on to explain what had happened. Having gotten into the Common Room, some seventh-years had immediately tried to throw them back out. They had a bit of an argument which resulted in them being successfully ejected, but not before they had shouted that they wanted to see me. Most people had just ignored them but Sandy had followed them out and said that no one had seen me since dinner and everyone was actually quite worried about me (although they weren't doing a very good impression of it). So the three of them decided to come find me.

Apparently, searching a whole castle is not an easy task and by ten o'clock, they still had no idea where I was. Lysana did suggest outside but it was raining so why would I be there? Eventually, they spotted Professor Langtree and asked him for help. He, along with Rowland and Neclor, joined in the search. Eventually, they decided that I could be outside, but I wasn't in the place I had spent most of the day in. As a result, it took them a long time to find me.

It was only after they finished the story that something occurred to me. "Lysana, you're speaking to me." I said, in surprise.

She gave me an odd look. "Yes. I know."

"But…I thought you were mad at me. And not speaking to me."

She blushed. Richard laughed and Rune smiled at her expression. He decided to take over. "She's had an epiphany." He remarked dryly. "She's decided that there's no sense in being mad at you. Of course, _I_ knew that already."

"So did I." Richard protested. Rune pointed out that he hadn't indicated this in any way so the boy stayed silent.

"But why did she decide that?" I asked, talking about her in the third-person for some reason.

"Oh. When she found you, she thought you were dead." He said calmly.

I stared at him. "She thought I was _what_?"

"Dead. You know, when you stop breathing and your heart stops beating and-" Only Rune could manage to sound amused with this explanation

"I know what dead means." I interrupted.

"Oh good. Well, yeah, anyway, she thought you had-"

"I'll take it over from here." Poor Rune was being interrupted a lot, although this time by Lysana. She looked at me. "Anyway, when I got to you, it looked like you weren't breathing and you were pale. I thought maybe you had committed suicide or something and…" She took a deep breath. "I was really scared. Then I realised you were breathing but the thought of you dying made me realise how stupid it was to be mad at you." Now she looked really embarrassed. Talking about feelings like this was not a Slytherin thing to do and she had gotten used to not doing it. Still, she persevered. "You're my best friend. If you said you had a reason for not telling me then…I guess I just have to accept it. You apologised, end of story, right?"

I glanced at Rune suspiciously. He noticed and laughed again. "No, Holly. I did not speak to her. She came up with this all by herself." Behind his back, Richard mouthed, 'he's lying. He had a go at her after dinner on Saturday.' I had to laugh.

By the time they left, I was a lot happier. I now had some of my friends back.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

When I returned to the Common Room in the evening, no one said anything, although a few people looked guilty. I went straight to my bed in the dorm. Someone had left all the work I had missed on my bed, which I thought was quite nice.

On Tuesday, I opted to eat at the Ravenclaw table so that I could cause no more arguments. Ignoring all the muttered comments- there were some new ones about me being suicidal (so news clearly spread quickly) - I sat away from everyone. To my surprise, Sephy and her only friend sat with me. Sephy explained that I had helped her out so I couldn't be a murderer and she had convinced her friend in the same way. I loved the simple logic of eleven-year-olds.

Apart from Herbology, where I sat with the Slytherins (and in which Pritchard waved happily at me. My wave, in comparison, was fairly lame) I spent the day's lessons alone. Some of the teachers gave me odd looks; others gave me looks of pity. I stayed completely silent in lessons and immediately found the Slytherins as soon as the day was over. I refused to return to the Common Room until it was time to go to sleep. Lysana offered to let me bunk in her room but I pointed out the lack of friendly people in her room.

Wednesday looked set to proceed in a similar fashion, until we got to Charms. As I had been for the last two days, I sat by myself. After Langtree got us taking notes from a book, he decided to comment on the fact that our seating had changed; the first teacher to do so. When no one answered his question as to _why_ I had chosen to distance myself, he sighed and decided to start talking.

"You know," he commented, sitting himself on a desk, "Forgiveness is a funny thing. Everyone wants it but no one will give it." I decided to immerse myself in my work rather than listen to what would, undoubtedly, be something to do with my brother.

"Some people don't deserve it." One of the boys muttered. I still looked at my book.

"You think that now." Langtree said gravely. That got everyone's attention. He was usually cheerful. "You'd be surprised how you feel later."

"I won't." Muttered the mutterer.

"I'll tell you a story then." He tried to sound cheerful as he crossed his legs. Everyone listened, even me. I had never heard Langtree being so serious. "When I was younger- maybe your age, maybe a bit older- I had a best friend. We always stuck up for each other. We were in a group of friends and he was…very popular, but we were always the closest.

"Both of us had secrets, secrets we wouldn't tell anyone. At some point, he worked out part of mine and confronted me. I told him and he didn't get mad about me not telling him. He was shocked but he seemed to understand. And he swore never to tell anyone. But I knew he had one too and I was annoyed that he wouldn't tell me. Even though he'd already trusted me with something. And for him, secrets were important." He didn't say anything for a while.

"Is that it, sir?" Someone asked.

He shook his head. "No. Sorry. Just thinking. Anyway, my friend ended up revealing his secret to nearly everyone at some point. At the same time. It was something bad. No, not bad, but something…something life-changing. And I stuck up for him but later, I asked him why he hadn't told me and he put it down to lack of trust. I got annoyed and he apologised. I could understand, I suppose. He was popular but he wasn't exactly _close_ to a lot of people. But then, he told me another secret- less life-changing but still important. So, eventually, I told him I forgave him.

"Here's the thing though." His face screwed up as though remembering something awful. "I never truly forgave him. I just said I did. But there was always a part of me that resented the fact that he wouldn't trust me the way I had trusted him. The fact that he had told everyone hurt. So I never really forgave him." He broke off.

"So…what's your point sir?"

"Well, Andover, this is what happened next. A little while after that event, my friend disappeared. Completely. No one knew where he went. I saw him once, a year later, but only for a minute. I've never seen him again. And the moment he was gone, it occurred to me that I had never had the chance to tell him I forgave him and meant it. It's one of the things I still feel guilty about. It was only once he'd gone that I realised how much he'd done for me. And I had no way to grant him forgiveness at all."

The class stayed silent. He pointed to our books and we got back to work. No one spoke and no one concentrated. I think we were all wondering about the story.

As we left, Professor Langtree gave me a long look. Then, when everyone else was out of the room, I heard him murmur to me, "Your brother didn't do that murder Holly. He wouldn't kill anyone." But when I gave him a questioning look, he merely waved at me. I waved back. What else could I do?


	13. The Hogsmeade Visit

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter. What a surprise.

Geth342: Well, i managed to get this done earlier than i expected. This story is still moving slowly but, in a few chapters, it will really pick up pace. It's just that this is an important time for Holly. Anyway, the next update will hopefully be on the 9th, unless school gets the better of me. To all my reviewers and favouriters etc. you are awesome. I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 13: The Hogsmeade Visit

Langtree's speech seemed to have had some effect on my classmates; nearly all the Gryffindors stopped glaring at me, the Ravenclaws started smiling nervously at me and Devyn, Sandy and Rhian would say 'hello' when they saw me (but not much else). It wasn't much, but it was a start. Nevertheless, at dinner, I still sat with Sephy and her friend.

The next morning, I got a letter. It was very short and crudely written.

_Faint ydy dy dydd Hogsmeade? Mynd i'r ogof ar y mynydd. 12 o'gloch._

There were quite a few scribbles and the grammar seemed a bit off but I managed to translate it: 'When is your Hogsmeade Day? Go to the cave on the mountain. 12 o'clock'. The only person I could think of who would send me anything in Welsh, especially in such messily-written Welsh, was Zac. As it was, the next Hogsmeade trip would be on the 15th November- the Saturday after next. I quickly scribbled '_15_ _Tachwedd_' on a piece of spare parchment and gave it to the owl.

My day progressed slightly better than the day before. Sandy would often sit next to me in lessons although Langtree still gave everyone an odd look in double Charms. However, I barely spoke and although Sandy would make polite conversation, it always ended with an awkward silence.

By the end of the day, this seemed to change. I came into the Common Room to dump my school stuff before going to talk to the Slytherins when Devyn called me. I went over, ignoring most students' glares.

Devyn was with Sandy and Rhian. They all looked slightly shifty. "Holly." He began awkwardly. "We want to talk to you."

"Okay." I replied. Sticking to one word seemed like a good idea.

"We just…" Devyn turned red. "We're, um…"

"Look, about your brother." Rhian tried. "We've talked and um…we reckoned…well…" She trailed off as well. I wondered how long I was going to have to stand here for.

"We're sorry." Sandy said firmly. The other two looked at her gratefully. "We were mad but we never really looked at your side. If you say he made you do it then…"

"We believe you." Rhian finished. She looked nervous.

"Do you forgive us?" Devyn added, his face still deep red.

I considered the question. Did I forgive them? Surely if I didn't, I would be as bad as them. Would I have done the same thing in their shoes? They seemed sincere although it probably had something to do with Langtree. Eventually, I said, "Sure. And I'm sorry for lying as well."

The next thing that I knew, I was being bowled over by Sandy giving me a hug. After a moment, the other two joined in. It felt just like old times. The rest of the room stared at us.

A minute later, I managed to disentangle myself and told them that I would talk to them later. The three of them looked uneasy- maybe they were worried that I was still offended (which I was, but not _that_ much) - as Sandy nervously asked where I was going. I tried to sound as offhand as possible as I told them I was going to hang out with Rune.

"Why?" Devyn asked instantly, before screwing his face up. I had a feeling that it was now an automatic reaction for him to be suspicious of Rune.

"Well, I promised we would." He still looked surprised so I added, "He is my boyfriend, you know."

"Everett? B-but…"

"Unless you were too busy accusing me of murder to notice." I added, acidly. He winced.

"I said sorry."

I sighed. What was I doing? Trying to get everyone to hate me again? "I'm sorry, Dev. That was uncalled for." I amended. He shrugged, obviously trying to be on his best behaviour. I waved and began to leave the room.

"Hey, if he has any cute friends, introduce us." Sandy called as I left the room, in a strained attempt to repair the atmosphere. It was funny but now, I just couldn't hear the conviction in her voice that she had always seemed to have before. Or maybe it was because she had never really had it; I had just assumed she did. Not for the first time, I wondered whether I should tell her and Rhian that I knew about them.

Rune was waiting outside and, seeing the door to the Common Room was still open with my friends looking out, he smiled wickedly and gave me a huge hug, followed by a kiss. The door was closed with a disgusted noise from Devyn. Rune burst out laughing. I tried to reprimand him for teasing Dev but he couldn't see what was wrong. I explained that they had apologised to me.

None of the others seemed happy that I was friends with the Ravenclaws again (although they were glad that they didn't hate me) because I would spend less time with them. I did point out that since I was dating Rune (here, he decided to give me another hug, laughing) I would be hanging around with him more but Lysana said, quite calmly, that she had no intention of watching the pair of us constantly hug and kiss (here, he decided to kiss me, just to annoy her). I pointed out that she and Richard probably did the same thing but, in a remarkably dry voice, she informed me that they didn't do it in public.

However, I did manage to convince them to let me spend the evening with the Ravenclaws. I sat with Sephy and her friend at dinner and the other three sat with me. Max, I noticed, sat with Cain and Anthony rather than Devyn as he usually did. I guessed he was still mad at me.

After dinner, we all sat in the library, doing homework and talking. It felt a lot like it had before but there was still some strain- some sign that shrieked that there was tension. I wondered if it would always be there.

The next morning, I received another letter, this time off my parents. I opened it at the table and found myself hoping that no one would look over my shoulder.

_Dear Holly,_

_DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE PAPER!_

_Sorry, had to make sure that would attract your attention. I guess that's not the only thing we should be apologising for. But it's hard to explain things on a piece of paper._

_Zac sent us a copy of the paper. I don't think he would ever murder anyone, Holly. He didn't like Adam Etasyl in school, we know that, but I think murder is a bit extreme. Zac is a bit rough but…_

_We'll explain a bit. Maybe what the paper got right. Zac _was_ in that battle but he _didn't_ start it. He was the one who ended it. The girl who died there was killed because someone on Zac's side was angry when he tried to stop it. This man fired a spell at Zac and, somehow, it got reflected onto the girl and it killed her. Then Zac did something…horrible to the man. _

_He escaped from custody and has been hiding ever since. Neither I nor your father agree with him but we couldn't exactly send him back. But we didn't want to tell you in case you thought badly of him or, even in case you would betray him. We're sorry about this- you're probably old enough to understand the truth now. Maybe you were before._

_In truth, Zac has never explained the whole story to us- he seems to think it would be safer. Well, you know how he is. I'm sure when they catch the real murderer you can ask him the whole story. Until then, wait until Christmas and we'll see what else we can tell you._

_Gyda cariad,_

_Mam a Tad. _(With love, Mum and Dad)

I put the letter down. Now I had an explanation, of sorts. But it was still vague and really, the only new thing it told me was that Zac hadn't started the battle. So who had?

No one seemed very interested in the letter and I didn't really want to bring up the contents just yet, so I decided to keep it a secret. Mentally, I wondered what Zac would say when I saw him in over a week.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Over the next week, I gradually settled back into my life. I summoned up my courage and showed the letter to all of my friends (Rune and Lysana first though). I suspect now that none of them were quite prepared to believe that Zac wasn't the murderer (except that Rune thought there was a possibility) but, at the time, they took me seriously and kept their opinions to themselves.

Louise Pritchard still waved to me in the corridors and once, she even had a conversation with me about whether Gryffindor or Hufflepuff would win their Quidditch match (this didn't last very long. It was obvious Gryffindor would). Lysana hated Pritchard and, when I attempted to point out how nice she was being, she told me that I wasn't the one who had had to live with her for four years. In all honesty, I had already worked out that she wasn't such a nice person.

I didn't plan on telling anybody about going to meet Zac until the day before the Hogsmeade trip. Then I remembered that I was going with Rune and I would either have to take him along with me or find a way to leave him when I went to meet my brother. As it was, I had no idea which one to do- I didn't even know _how_ I would get rid of him.

As it happened, it didn't matter in the end. Because he found out beforehand.

I had taken to carrying the note around with me, just to double check when and where. On Friday evening, I was walking down the hall with Rune when someone called me. I turned back to see Professor Rowland smiling at me.

"Holly," she called again. "You dropped this note." She held it out.

"Oh. Thanks professor." I took the note. Rune looked over my shoulder.

"What does it say?" He asked cheekily. "Faint why-dye dye dyed…what? What language is this?"

"It's Welsh, isn't it Holly?" Rowland asked. I stared at her. "I saw some of the writing." She answered my unspoken question.

"Oh, yeah." I said, unsure. Why had she read it? "Yeah, it's Welsh."

"I've always wanted to learn Welsh." She said casually. "Seems like a beautiful language. Anyway, I must be going. Bye Holly, Rune."

"Bye professor." Rune called, before looking at the note. "So how do you say this…all the consonants are together…how can you even _read _this?" He sounded puzzled.

"I'm smart."

"Yes, but so am I, sweetheart, so am I." He replied, displaying his usual lack of modesty. "Faint ynghhhdye dye dyedidi-"

"Rune, give up." I interrupted. "You'll never manage it."

"I like a challenge." He said brightly.

"You're giving me an earache."

"Ah, more reason to continue." He said wickedly. Glancing at me he added, "fine. But you have to pronounce it for me. Slowly."

I rolled my eyes. "V-eye-nt uh-di duh deeth Hogsmeade-"

"Hogsmeade!" He exclaimed. "I know that word. Anyway, you can be quiet. That sounds painful." He looked at the note again. "Hey, that last part. 12 o'gloch…that looks like a time." He looked at me for confirmation. Unwillingly, I nodded. "And Hogsmeade…where are you going at twelve o'clock tomorrow?" His usual amusement had vanished completely. I swore under my breath. Sometimes, he was too perceptive.

"Nowhere."

He snorted. "I might not be able to speak Welsh, sweetheart, but I'm not completely stupid. Who are you planning on leaving me for?" I was pleased to see the amusement come back into his eyes. He didn't seriously think I was trying to have an affair (of course that would be because there was a grand total of three boys who would speak to me anyway).

"No one." I said defiantly. He raised an eyebrow. "This is from my parents to ask me to pick something up in Hogsmeade." He burst out laughing. "What?"

"Are these the same parents who don't speak much Welsh and write to you in English, or do you have a second set I don't know about?" He kept laughing. I smiled weakly. "Or, let me guess, this is your imaginary cousin or, I know, your brother." He stopped suddenly and all trace of laughter died on his lips. He looked at me, his grey eyes suddenly serious. "It _is_ your brother." It wasn't a question.

"No, it isn't." I replied.

"Yes, it is." He was in a mode which told me he was completely focused: his voice was completely serious. "The only people who would write to you in Welsh and ask you about Hogsmeade are your family. Your parents don't speak much of it, the note isn't signed but I bet your brother speaks Welsh. I bet he went to a Welsh school as well."

"Um…"

"No lying, Holly." He was still serious. Somehow, it hurt to see that.

"Yeah." I admitted finally. "I think my brother sent that."

"So, he wants to meet you somewhere tomorrow, doesn't he?" I nodded. "And how were you going to get rid of me?"

"Hadn't thought that far ahead." I mumbled.

Suddenly, he began to laugh again and put his arm around my shoulders. "This," he informed me cheerily, "is the worst planned plan ever. What were you gonna do? Push me into a bush or something?" I started to smile.

"Something like that." I agreed.

"So, can I come?" He asked, eyes shining. "I've always wanted to meet a murder suspect." Seeing my unamused expression, he apologised and then added, "But seriously. Come on, if people see me wandering around all on my lonesome, they'll be suspicious. I'll be like a member of the family."

I thought about how strange my family was. "You may have a point there." I murmured. Then, making a snap decision, I said. "Okay, you can come. But no sarky comments to Zac."

"I will be the essence of plain talking itself." He said in such an innocent tone that I had to laugh.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

We arrived in Hogsmeade at ten in the morning and, for the first hour and a half, we walked around the shops and generally acted as everyone else did (except I tended to avoid people who were still glaring at me). But at half-past eleven, we set off looking for this cave on a mountain. It was a good thing that we set off so early because the mountain was some time away from us. We got there at twelve.

Upon entering the cave, my first thought was that there was no one there. It was just a damp cave which seemed to go someway back. Beside me, my boyfriend was looking equally confused.

A noise alerted me. It wasn't loud- just a slight sound of movement, a pebble being kicked- but it caught my attention. I twirled around to the sound but there was no one there. What was going on?

Another sound on my left alerted me. I turned towards it, pulling a face at the emptiness. There had to be someone there. Someone…someone invisible. As I thought that, something came back to me

_I was eleven years old and I couldn't see myself. "W-what have you done to me?" I asked in a strangled tone._

"_Made you invisible. It's a speciality of mine." A younger looking Zac answered smoothly, gazing at me, unconcerned._

I looked around the room again and picked up a stone. The moment I heard another noise, I flung the stone in that direction. To my satisfaction, I heard a yelp of pain. It sounded like I had hit him. Rune looked around with slightly wide eyes as I told Zac to get out here or I would throw something else at him. A second passed and then my brother appeared, looking a bit worse for wear. His hair was messily tied back and his clothes were tattered. He glared at me for a moment before transferring his glare to the boy beside me. Rune squirmed.

"Why," he asked icily, "have you brought someone with you? Did the fact that I'm on the run and that I wrote you a message in _Welsh_ suggest that you should bring a friend?"

"He wanted to come." I muttered.

"Yes. And if any Aurors wanted to come, I suppose you would have brought them as well?"

"No." I replied defiantly. "But he's my boyfriend. He saved my life in first-year."

"That doesn't mean he won't betray you. This is the Slytherin, isn't it?"

"The Slytherin has a name." Rune muttered. We both looked at him, Zac with his wand outstretched.

"Yeah, and the Slytherin can just turn and leave. And if he breathes a word about this to anyone, he'll regret it." Zac replied threateningly.

Rune did not look at all impressed. He turned to me. "Wow. I can see why you never talk about him. Quite the charmer, isn't he?" He smirked and looked back at Zac. "I can see that you're trying _really_ hard to prove your innocence to your sister. I mean, threatening her boyfriend? Smart move, mate, smart move."

"Listen, kid, Slytherin, Rune…whatever your name is." Zac responded patiently, but menacingly. "This is a private meeting between me and my little sister. No extras. So, if you really like her, I'd hop it. Now."

I decided to intervene. "Tell you what. How about you two carry on this lovely conversation, _I'll_ leave and then I can come back when you feel like speaking to me?" I asked. They stopped arguing to look at me, each looking equally indignant. I rolled my eyes. I had been here for two minutes and already, my boyfriend and my brother hated each other. What a great idea.

Zac rolled his eyes back at me. "Don't blame me. You brought him."

"Hey, like you made things so easy for her. Way to go. You've got the whole school hating her." Rune retorted angrily. That surprised me. Rune rarely got this angry.

"Guys!" I shouted. They looked at me. "Stop arguing. Zac, I'm sorry I took Rune here without telling you but he won't tell anyone, I promise. And Rune, Zac's just overprotective." I decided not to add that he was over-protective of himself.

Rune spoke first. "Fine, I'm sorry. I'll go sit in a corner and be quiet."

Zac looked steadily at him. "I'm sorry too." Then, with a sigh, he added, "You may as well stay here. But the earlier threat is still valid." This was clearly the best I was going to get out of him. Rune shrugged.

"So, this is where you live?" I asked casually. My brother snorted.

"You must be joking. They'd catch me within a day if I lived _here_. I'm in a secret location. I just came here to meet you."

"Oh."

He smiled crookedly. "You should be honoured Holly. I came out of hiding to see you…and lover boy."

"Rune." Said boy interjected. "My name is Rune Everett, not lover boy."

"Whatever. What happened to that guy in your House anyway? Devyn?"

"They broke up two years ago." Rune answered, his voice full of contempt. "Keep up." I sighed. Why were they sniping at each other?

Zac chose to ignore him and turned to me instead. "So, what do you want to know?" He asked in a similar voice to someone asking about the weather.

"Um…" Now that the moment had come, I had no idea. "Why do they think you killed that man, Adam Etasyl?"

He shrugged. "They need a scapegoat. I was near there once. And the note…well, it does indicate me. But I didn't do it though." His eyes met mine, piercing my mind. "I've never wilfully killed anyone in my life and I never murdered him. Do you believe me?" I nodded mutely. Somehow, I couldn't deny that look. He nodded back at me. "Good."

"So, are you actually going to explain about that note?" Rune asked, insolently, "Or just make impressive speeches?" I found myself missing the 'amused' Rune.

Apparently, my brother had decided to take on the role of the 'better person' because he ignored the other boy again. "Anyway, Adam Etasyl. He was a boy in my year and my House. There were five Slytherin boys in my year, including me. Out of the five of us, we were the ones that argued the most. He believed all this blood purity crap. Quite obviously, I didn't.

"I…well, I started this thing in Slytherin. It was meant to get us looked upon equally by the school because everyone hated us. Because of the Death Eaters. In reality, I guess it was just making it worse. But I was the leader."

"What did you do?" I asked curiously.

He shuffled a bit, apparently embarrassed. "Played jokes, teased people…that sort of thing. Anyway," he decided to go back to the first topic, "In fifth-year, I…had to go somewhere for a bit, after our OWLs. When I came back, I saw that Adam had arranged a little, um, torturing session, I suppose."

"A what?" I asked.

His face twisted, as though remembering something unpleasant. "He and some other Slytherins had grabbed a Muggle-born Hufflepuff and were torturing her. They thought it was funny." He didn't seem to want to go into details. I decided not to push it. "They asked me if I wanted to join in and I refused- I took the girl outside, erased her memory and told her she'd been in a Potions accident. I came back and told everyone that I had been scared that our Head of House would catch us but Etasyl saw through that. He had other thoughts and he decided to tell me. He accused me of not being loyal to the plan and when I tried to prove him wrong, he started pointing out things which had changed about me. He must have talked to people whilst I was away because most of them agreed with him.

"We started to argue about blood purity. In the end, the only way I could prove my point was to tell everyone that I was a Muggle-born. That ended in the division of Slytherin as a House and, also, Adam became the leader of the plan."

"How come he wasn't blamed for the Battle then?" Rune asked, speaking for the first time in a while.

"Simple. He lied, I told the truth. And a lot of the school thought I was to blame. The Aurors just took the evidence and decided that the whole thing was my fault. Even though I tried to stop the battle."

"Yeah, why _did_ you do that?" Rune sounded genuinely curious.

Zac studied him for a moment, as though considering whether to answer or not. Finally, he said, "A friend of mine was badly hurt. I wanted to make sure that she was alright so I tried to stop it. The whole Battle was a stupid idea as well."

"Was that Michelle Grant?" I asked. He shook his head.

"It was someone else. Michelle Grant was…we weren't exactly friends. But it was my fault she got killed. One of Etasyl's wizard friends tried to curse me at the same time that she was trying to support my attempt to stop it all. I made the shield too strong and it hit her. She died." His voice was bland, as though describing someone else's life. I wondered whether he genuinely didn't care or whether he was hurting so much, he couldn't show it. "I didn't know about Tom Howell until you told me though. I never even met him." He added. "But, I guess that it would seem like the note was written by me."

"So, who was the person who was hurt?" This was me again. I don't know why, but it seemed important to me.

"Just a friend." He muttered shiftily. "A good one."

"Which explains why you're not telling us her name." I muttered. He shrugged.

"So this is where you two went." A woman's voice said from behind us. We turned to face her.

"Professor Rowland!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled at me. "I wanted to see why the pair of you headed this way." She looked at Zac. "So, who's your friend, then?" There was something in her voice which told me she knew. She had been listening the whole time.

"Oh, him?" Rune asked in a nonchalant voice. "This is my cousin…Jack."

"Nice to meet you Jack." She greeted him in a polite voice. Zac looked back at her with a face as though he had just had the biggest shock of his life. I probably looked the same way. A teacher had just walked in on me and my boyfriend talking to a suspected murderer. It wasn't a good thing. "Why are you meeting each other in a cave?" She asked, apparently oblivious to the whole scene.

Rune looked at me. "He…he's teaching us caving." He lied quickly.

"Caving?"

"Yeah." I said, having found my voice. "He's really good at it."

"I see." She sounded amused. "You don't speak much, do you Jack?"

'Jack' coughed and then mumbled, "It's very nice to meet you Professor Rowland. This is a private lesson though. I promise these kids will be okay." He sounded very unsure. It was weird. This was the man who had spent his life lying to me without batting an eyelid, and now he could barely get a coherent sentence out.

She burst out laughing. "No, no, I'm intrigued now. I want to see you cave Jack. Or would it be better if I called you Mr. Carew?"

"Mr. Carew?" He asked innocently. "No, no, I'm Jack Everett."

She looked him up and down. I held my breath. "Of course. That's why you look like Holly." She noted. I gulped. "You know, you're not the only one who can do invisibility charms. Seifer was pretty good at them. He taught me. I've been here for quite a while now. I didn't know Rune had any Muggle-born relatives."

"I don't like to talk about it." Rune said quickly.

"Nice try guys, but I'd give it up if I were you. I knew you were coming to meet him. Who else would send Holly a note, in Welsh, asking to meet her in a cave?"

"I thought you couldn't speak Welsh." I muttered.

"I lied." She replied cheerfully. "I learnt about ten years ago. Anyway, I'm not turning you in."

"You're not?" Zac asked incredulously.

She shrugged. "I somehow doubt that, on a whim, you would go and murder Adam Etasyl. Besides, you saved my life in that battle." She walked over to him, ignoring me and Rune. "Why on earth did you pierce your ear?"

He smiled crookedly. "Got bored. Nice to see you again, Tammy."

She laughed again. I glanced at Rune. He looked as though he had just been told that the world was actually triangular and I have to admit, I felt the same. I glanced back at my brother and his new friend. They were laughing with each other, and it looked familiar. Why was it familiar?

I suddenly remembered my dream from when I was knocked unconscious. What had I picked up? A piece of paper. No, not a piece of paper, because there were moving people on it. So, that meant it was…

I looked straight at them again. "It's you!" I exclaimed. "Both of you!"

Now everyone looked confused. "What's us?" Zac asked, still smiling.

"You two!" I exclaimed again. "You're the couple from the photo."


	14. Keeping Secrets

Disclaimer: I wish i owned but i don't. Pity.

Geth342: Wow, i feel incredibly loved. I had more reviewers, alerters and favouriters than usual. Now i'm happy! Thanks a lot.

Anyway, here's the 14th Chapter. I'm going to give up saying it's going to pick up pace because maybe, if i don't say it, my next chapter will actually pick up pace and i won't feel like a fool. Anyway, next update will be either on the 19th or the 20th. I'm away for a uni interview next Tuesday/Wednesday (yikes!) so we'll have to see how my nerves affect my writing. So, hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 14: Keeping Secrets

"I'm sorry?" Rowland asked, still smiling but looking confused. Rune looked as though he had given up all hope on sanity. Zac, however, looked slightly shocked.

"What photo are you talking about?" He demanded.

I thought for a moment, trying to recall it. "Your photo." I replied eventually. "You had one in your pocket when I was little- about eight or so. It was you and a girl when you were my age. I think it was Professor Rowland."

"How do you remember that?" His voice was puzzled and he was frowning. "You shouldn't be able to remember that."

"What?" I was thrown by this. "Why on earth shouldn't I be able to remember it?"

"What _do_ you remember, exactly?" He asked impatiently, ignoring me as usual.. Rowland opened her mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it.

"Um…I remember it being my eighth birthday." I began hesitantly. "You came and gave me a present and then you walked off. I was going to go after you and I saw…I saw a piece of paper. I picked it up and it was a teenage boy and girl- you two- sitting with their arms around each other. But you were moving. So…" I had to really concentrate now. My memory was patchier here. "I _think_ I went to show you and Mum and Dad, because I was so shocked by moving people on paper…I don't know what happened after that."

He frowned. "Right…why do you remember all that?" He muttered. I asked him what he was talking about. He informed me, in the same impatient voice, that he had used a gentle memory erase charm on me when I had come into the room because neither he nor our parents had wanted me to know about magic- or indeed, his life at Hogwarts past thirteen- unless I had to. And, apparently, the charm hadn't been all that successful because I had started to remember it. I should have been indignant that he had deleted my memory without permission but I wasn't. I suppose that, if you have just found out all these strange things about your brother then other acts he commits fail to surprise you.

Rune was a bit more vocal. "Is there anything you haven't done?" He asked dryly. "Like, oh I don't know…did you donate to charity at any point in your life?"

"Once." Zac replied, totally straight-faced. "But the charity was too proud to accept it. Does that count?" Rune rolled his eyes but I could see the glimmer of a smile on his face. For some reason, he found it funny.

"Hey, I seem to be a bit out on this." Rowland called. We looked at her. "What photo is Holly talking about?" Zac delved into his pocket, pulled out the photo and showed it to her. "Oh."

"You remember it?"

She looked again. "Vaguely…I remember it being taken, I think. Were we by the lake?" He nodded. "Yeah, I had this once, didn't I? I think it fell out during the battle."

"Am I the only one missing something here?" Rune asked. Amusement began to creep back into his voice. "Was there a convention where everyone decided that nothing is shocking anymore?"

"It was last Thursday." Zac muttered, but smiled wryly. I was confused. When had they decided they liked each other?

Rowland looked at us with a slightly anxious look. "Well, you see…when we were your age, we…dated."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Zac murmured, startling a laugh out of me. "Besides, it wasn't for very long. We were friends for way longer than that."

Suddenly, something else occurred to me. "Is _this_ why you like staring at me so much?" I asked curiously. She blinked, startled.

"Here, I thought it was Langtree who stared at you." Rune pointed out. "Or do you have a fan club I don't know about? Can I join?"

"Langtree stares more," I agreed. "But Row- um, Professor Rowland does it too."

Rune considered this for a moment. "Oh, yeah, she does."

"I do not." The woman in question protested.

"You do." My boyfriend replied amiably. "You're always finding an excuse to talk to her too. Cassius was wondering whether you were stalking her actually." It occurred to me that we were not treating Rowland as a teacher any more. How odd.

"I…" She seemed at a loss for words. "I may have glanced her way occasionally but I don't stare at her." Rune repeated his argument. "When have I ever stared at her?" She demanded.

"Day before yesterday when I was by the Greenhouses." I suggested.

"Dinner time yesterday."

"Oh, this morning as well."

"Tammy, I think you're going to have to believe them." Zac interjected. "Otherwise my little sister will go on for hours. And no one wants that." I glared at him but he merely raised an eyebrow and smirked. "So, what was that about Langtree?"

"He stares so much at your sister that I'm worried that he's going to marry her." Rune replied dryly.

To my surprise, my brother burst out laughing. "Wow, Seifer never did learn the art of subtlety." He thought for a moment. "Tammy, when _did_ Seifer ever show the faintest interest in Charms?"

"After the battle. He told me that he concentrated more on his work after the battle and found that he actually liked Charms. Mind you, this was when we started teaching. I didn't know him much when I returned to school, especially because I was a year behind."

"Why were you a year behind?" I asked curiously. I noticed that Zac looked a little uncomfortable.

"I got injured in the battle. Your brother," she nodded at Zac, "stopped the battle so I could get proper help. Or so I heard. I don't know because I was in a coma by then. I didn't wake up for just over a year, I think it was. So I had to start Sixth-year with the people in the year below me because my year had already done it." This, at least, seemed to make sense. Zac looked away.

"At least you didn't die." Rune noted. "Not like that guy, Tom Howell."

"I was lucky." She didn't say anything else for a while. Then: "I know a few people who were really hurt by that battle and not just participants." She looked away. Zac shifted uncomfortably. Rune decided to change the subject to whether Zac was going to be okay when it snowed. Tammy continued looking at the ground.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

We stayed in the cave for a few more hours. Somehow, the topic of Zac's life didn't really come up again- at least not in large group discussions. At some points, my brother and Rowland would start talking to each other about people I didn't know so Rune and I would talk about other things.

We ended with a discussion about the best time for me to come and see him. He was all for me sneaking out of the school but Rowland primly reminded him that, as a teacher, she couldn't exactly advocate it. ("But Professor, you're currently consorting with a known criminal." Rune pointed out. "I don't think advocating bad behaviour has much to do with it anymore." Rowland just glared at him.) However, she did say that the next Hogsmeade trip would be on the 6th December, so maybe I could meet him then.

Before we left, Zac told us not to tell anyone where he was. I pointed out that this was what had got me into trouble the first time, including knocking myself out on a rock. He merely shrugged and said that this was important. He had been on the run for fifteen years or so, so he probably knew a bit more about people than I did so could I please humour him and keep quiet because he really did not want to visit Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. I sighed and promised. Rune did as well, rolling his eyes at all the secrecy. We left before Rowland did.

When asked what I had been up to, I told everyone that we went for a walk. I wondered if they could tell that I was lying again. No one said anything, but I could see the distrust in Devyn's eyes and the twist in Rhian's mouth. Sandy was a lot more trusting but I could see the occasional doubt flash across her face. I resolved to be as truthful as possible in every other matter I could think of.

(This lasted about one week, until one evening, in the Common Room, Devyn commented on the fact that Sandy and Rhian kept disappearing. I had a feeling that they had probably gone away to be together but I had already decided to keep silent. I decided that I was excused from telling the truth about this.)

Langtree stopped staring at me so much. It occurred to me that Professor Rowland had probably told him to stop it. Not for the first time, I wondered how he and my brother had known each other- Zac had talked about him by name, so they _must_ have known each other before. Frustratingly, I was sure that the link was obvious but I could not work it out.

Up until the end of November, my life progressed in the new, normal fashion. I talked to Dev, Sandy and Rhian but not to any of the other Ravenclaws in my year. I tutored Sephy every so often. I spent more time with Rune as well, and also with Lysana and Richard (and Cassius, occasionally), especially on the weekend. The rest of the school either muttered comments about me or walked around as though I no longer existed, which suited me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

At the beginning of December, Zac sent me another note.

_Mynd i'r ogof ar y mynydd. 1 o'gloch. Cyntaf, mynd i'r siopiau Naddolig._

This time, he had written 'Go to the cave on the mountain. One o'clock. First, go Christmas shopping.' (It actually said 'Go to the Christmas shops' but I supposed that it _had_ been a long time since he had learnt Welsh).

This time, I decided that I had learnt my lesson- I would leave the note in my room. Unfortunately, once again, events conspired against me. As I headed towards my dorm so that I could put it away, I bumped into Darius Potter. The letter fell out of my hands and I mumbled an apology as I picked it up. He put his foot on it.

"I want to see what you have here." He sneered. I tried to grab it but he was quicker. He read it. "What's it talking about?"

I said nothing, so he repeated the question. This time, I muttered, "It's just a note from my parents."

"I don't believe you." He smirked. By this point, a large crowd had gathered. "You and your brother are the sort of people my grandpa locks up." People in the crowd murmured at this. I glared at him- he didn't know the first thing about me.

"Leave her alone, Darius." Faith Weasley called uncertainly. He looked at her.

"Or what?"

"I'll give you a detention." Her voice trembled- she was a shy person- but her gaze did not waver. It had no effect on the boy, although I felt a sudden rush of fondness for her.

"Go ahead." He laughed. "I'm tellingthe truth. My dad says that all the Slytherins from that battle should have been arrested. Her brother was the worst one there. She doesn't deserve to be here." There was a rumble of agreement from the crowd. "They're all like the Death Eaters." He finished proudly. Unthinkingly, I plunged my hand into my robes, trying to think of a suitable curse. He might have been famous but I had had enough of him.

"Miss Carew, if you are about to draw your wand, I suggest you think twice." Professor Langtree's crisp voice informed me. I glanced at him, but he was looking at Potter. "Mr. Potter, please apologise for what you have just said to Miss Carew."

"No." He replied, to general shock. "I've got nothing to apologise for. I just said the truth." He smirked, feeling he had a winning point. I found myself wishing that I knew how to do silent spells.

Langtree was quite calm. "Mr. Potter, do you like Charms? I thought I heard you saying the other day that you did." I stared at him. What did this have to do with anything?

"Sure I do, Professor." Potter replied charmingly. "It's a pretty cool subject."

"Do you like my teaching?"

"Yep. You're a pretty cool teacher as well." He seemed to be truthful. I wondered where this was going.

"So, wouldn't it have been a pity if I had been arrested for being a Slytherin in that battle?" The teacher asked mildly. Some people stared at him. "You wouldn't have your favourite Charms teacher, would you?"

Potter shook his head. "I- I didn't know." He mumbled. "You don't seem like a Slytherin." He added boldly.

"Define a Slytherin."

"Um…you know…" He trailed off, suddenly unsure of himself. It was the first time I had ever seen it happen.

"And you know, Mr. Potter," Langtree added, "this was what that battle was supposed to be about. Keep it in mind in future…and never let me catch you using that disgusting word again." This time, the boy apologised and Langtree told the crowd to disperse. In the crowd, I spotted Faith looking ashamed, but before I could move and thank her, Langtree stopped me. He asked me if I was alright.

"I'm fine thanks." I replied.

"Have you been getting that sort of abuse from a lot of people?" He asked, his brown eyes kind. I shook my head and he smiled. "You're a good liar, but I learnt from the best. Tell the truth."

I shrugged. "Yeah, a bit. People mostly just talk about me to themselves. I can cope." I tried to sound flippant but I couldn't really pull it off.

"If it gets bad, tell a member of staff." He told me. I shrugged- in all honesty, I doubted that the teachers could do anything much. "I mean it." Langtree said. "We're here to help."

I turned to leave when something occurred to me. I looked back at him. "Sir?"

"Yes, Holly?"

"You remember when you told us about your best friend?" I asked. "The one who disappeared?" He nodded impassively. I took a deep breath to summon up my courage and then asked, "was it my brother?"

He regarded me for a moment, and then, slowly, he nodded. "As you can imagine," he murmured dryly, "his secret was about his family."

I nodded, and then I thought of something else. "What was the other secret…sir?"

"What?"

"You said he told you something else- before he exposed his secret." I wasn't sure why I was asking- mere curiosity I suppose. "If you don't want to tell me-"

"You were." He interrupted me. I stared at him. "He only told three people that he was going to have a little sister- his girlfriend, me and another friend."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say. It hurt. Even then, Zac was ashamed of me. "Thanks sir." I started to leave, suddenly aware that I needed to get to lesson. And to find a way to ease the sudden pain I felt.

"Holly," he called after me. "You know he picked your name?" I nodded quickly. "I don't know for sure, but I think he picked it because someone close to him suggested it. I just thought you should know." I didn't say anything. He came behind me. "If you do see him," he murmured softly, "tell him I want him to know I'm sorry for not helping him when he found me at the station. And for not really forgiving him." I nodded. "Thanks." He turned and walked away.

Langtree's words had helped a little bit, but it still hurt. Why was Zac ashamed of me?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rune said he'd come with me again. This time, we had to do some Christmas shopping first- for one thing, I realised that I actually had to get Zac a present and it wasn't going to be wrapped- and we also had the problem of being with Richard and Lysana. I wanted to tell Lysana but I found that I couldn't just betray Zac.

In the end, Rune said that he wanted to have some alone time with me. This, rather predictably, raised a few eyebrows, but Rune assured them that he just wanted to celebrate the fact that we had been together over a month (until that point, I hadn't actually noticed this) and they let us go without making too many innuendos.

When we got to the cave, Professor Rowland was already there, having a deep discussion with Zac. That surprised me; I had sort of assumed that the last meeting had been a one-off thing for her. Zac smiled at us as we walked in, though he raised an eyebrow at Rune, who ignored him.

I gave him his Christmas present- a selection box from Honeydukes and a book on great Wizards which I wasn't entirely sure he wanted, but I thought it could keep him amused. In return, he gave me two knuts he had found and a bar of chocolate, explaining that he had been a little hard put to produce something but he'd try and send something to the house. I smiled, saying that at least he had made the effort which made him laugh. I couldn't help but think about what Professor Langtree had told me. Then I remembered the message. I relayed it to him.

Zac remained expressionless for a moment, his blue eyes merely thoughtful. Then, he glanced at Rowland. "Do you reckon I should speak with him?"

She shrugged. "He was _your_ best friend. If you want to, you can. He wasn't sure about you when he first got questioned but, if it makes you feel any better, he's convinced you're innocent."

"I'll have to think on it." He muttered.

"Hey, what secret of Langtree's do you know anyway?" I asked without thinking- it was more of a way to keep the conversation going rather than actual curiosity.

His eyebrows snapped together in a frown. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that secrets are important?"

"Yes." Rune answered for me. "Right before a newspaper blurted it out for her. You do know she had an argument with Darius Potter because of you, right?" He was using his contemptuous tone again, the one he seemed to reserve for Zac. Once again, it felt strange to hear it.

Zac rolled his eyes. "Couldn't you have picked someone less annoying than him?" He complained, making Rowland laugh. My boyfriend smirked. Then my brother smiled. "He does have a point though, I suppose. Anyway, I'm not telling you because I'm sworn to secrecy and this is something the poor bo- man really doesn't want people to know."

Rowland smiled. "Are there any Slytherin-type people who _don't_ have life-changing secrets?"

"Well, my cousin isn't really a mountain climber." Rune drawled. "Do I get points for that being a non-life-changing secret?" I was glad to hear the amusement back in his voice. Rowland laughed again.

"You get one. I already knew that."

"I've got one." Zac stated seriously. We turned to look at him. "I'm actually a leprechaun." He grinned at the looks of confusion on our faces.

"You get minus points for that." Rune decided. "That was a lie."

Somehow, this silly game kept us amused for a while. By the end of it, I had seventeen points, Rowland had twenty, Zac had minus five and Rune ended up with minus one hundred.

We sobered up when Zac asked about the next time I could visit. According to Rowland (who was insisting that we call her Tammy but that felt far too weird to me), the next trip was not until Valentine's day at which Zac said that he would like to see his little sister at least once before then. Rune pointed out Christmas but Zac asked him, in his politest voice, if he had left his sanity somewhere.

I was the only person not taking part in this discussion. I liked the idea that he wanted to talk to me again but I felt that I knew more about my brother than I had before. I wondered if his real reason was so that Professor Rowland could see him again; after all, they definitely had chemistry and I hadn't seen Zac as alive as he had been when talking with Rowland.

"Holly, what do you think?" The man in question asked, jerking me out of my thoughts.

"I could just…escape from school." I suggested lamely. "If, Professor-"

"Tammy, Holly."

"Sorry, Tammy, well, if she didn't know _when_ I was leaving then she couldn't be blamed for it, could she?" This idea sounded awful to me but I needed something to pretend I had been listening. To my surprise, the other three considered it.

"That's the best idea I've heard." My boyfriend declared, slipping an arm around my shoulder. Zac frowned for a moment at the sight.

"I've just heard the idea though." Rowland protested, ever the good teacher. "I can't allow her to do this."

"So, if you catch her, give her detention." Rune replied impatiently. "As far as you'll know, every night, Holly will be in her bed."

"I like it." Zac declared, brushing some copper-coloured hair out of his eyes. "I'm sure I can find a way to get Holly out." He smiled at me. I smiled back.

Maybe he did care about me after all.


	15. Caring About Holly

Disclaimer: Unsurprisingly, i do not own Harry Potter.

Geth342: First things first, i need to make a review reply.

**Snowstorm752:**_ Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you like the story so far and i'm sorry this update was late. Please don't send red-eyed dust bunnies after me :P Hope you enjoy._

The next update will be in 7-10 days, so between the 27th and the 30th. Merry Christmas to all you readers.

This chapter is dedicated to gangsta. lOver (you would not believe how many times i've had to type that in for this document to accept it :S) for always reviewing and favouriting and generally making my life just that little bit happier. Thanks a lot.

Chapter 15: Caring About Holly

True to his word, I did not see nor hear from Zac for the rest of the school term. I would look for an owl every morning but nothing came. Really, I wasn't very surprised- I wasn't even sure what I was expecting. Rune seemed to understand and, to my surprise, commented that he liked my brother. I asked him why he didn't seem to show it and he replied that I had clearly never heard of friendly male banter. I wasn't sure if he was being serious.

In school, Professor Rowland did her best to ignore me. This, coupled with the fact that Professor Langtree had finally stopped staring at me, lead to everyone else staring at me instead, especially in Charms. At one point, Devyn even asked if I had finally told Langtree off, whilst he was in the room. Everyone had turned to see what the teacher would do, but he merely smiled crookedly and said that he might be better-looking than the mushrooms we were practicing on, but if we tried to cast a spell on him, we would not like the consequences.

I gave everyone their Christmas presents before we got on the train and, in return, I got some back. The one which startled me, however, was Professor Rowland. She hadn't actually gotten me anything, but she had the present off Zac for me and some presents for my family. I felt a stab of jealousy- she was clearly seeing him more than I was- but I took it with a smile. At least he had remembered me.

Similar to the train journey on the way up to Hogwarts, I divided my time again- the first half of the journey with the Ravenclaws, the second half with the Slytherins. Surprisingly, no one complained when I mentioned what time I would be going to the Slytherins, although when I did leave, Devyn jokingly pointed out that now he had no one to keep him company (Sandy and Rhian had left the compartment to 'go to the toilet'. They had been gone for a long time. I tried not to think about what they could be up to).

My mum and dad were waiting for me when we arrived. Rune had managed to grab his parents so that I could be introduced and then, feeling a slight trace of panic, I had to take the lot of them with me so that I could introduce him to my parents. Thankfully, all the introductions went alright; my parents thought he was a 'charming young man' and I came out of the meeting with his parents feeling that they probably didn't hate me. I was surprised that they had no problems with me but Rune informed me that no one in his family liked to believe the paper without complete evidence. It explained a lot.

Every Christmas, my dad's family came to visit for a few days and this year was no exception. It was frustrating because I wanted to confront my parents about all the secrets they had been hiding from me but I had to sit there with a tight grin on my face. My cousins still treated me in exactly the same way, as did my grandfather. I was also expected to keep Jack's daughter amused as we were the closest in age (there were eight years between us), except she had made her feelings about me clear and I didn't really want to spend my days avoiding items which were being thrown at me.

I don't know whether my parents requested that they leave early this year or whether they just felt like it but, by the 23rd December, everyone had gone. I was relieved- finally, I could stop pretending that everything was absolutely normal.

I managed to talk to my parents about Zac when a Christmas card arrived for him. Mum read it and then sighed, commenting that my brother wouldn't be able to write one back this year. Curious, I asked what she was talking about so she showed me the card. It was off someone named Matt.

"Who's he?" I asked after reading it.

"A friend of your brother's," Mum replied in a casual tone, although the look on her face was anything but. "From Primary School. Poor lad hasn't seen Zac for nearly sixteen years now."

Nearly sixteen years- the age I was (sort of). Clearly, it wasn't a coincidence. Was this one of the reasons Zac resented me? "Why do they still write each other Christmas cards then?" I asked, instead of what I really wanted to ask.

"They promised to stay in contact. Zac always signs one, every year… I don't suppose you could forge his handwriting, could you?" She still sounded determinedly casual. I noticed that Dad was staying silent.

I took my opening. "No, I can't. Funny thing to ask me Mum," I began in a mocking tone, "you don't tell me the first thing about my brother, but you expect me to be able to forge his handwriting." I saw her glance away guiltily. My father came to stand by her. "How does that work?" I was being unusually aggressive but I felt that I deserved it.

"Holly, look," Dad said in a resigned voice, "we're sorry about that. But…" he trailed off, unsure of how to explain his good intentions to me.

"It was Zac's request," Mum finished for him. "In fact, we weren't even going to tell you about magic if you hadn't had it. We wanted to keep you safe." Dad nodded in agreement.

"You do know I spent two days in the infirmary after the paper told everyone about him?" I asked. "And I had no idea about Zac but everyone blamed me anyway. Maybe I would have been better prepared if you had warned me."

Dad shook his head wearily. "It was a mistake Holly. We were going to tell you. We didn't expect this to happen."

"Were you going to tell me when I was ancient?" I asked acidly. "Or write it in your will? 'To Holly, by the way, your brother is a criminal'," I glared at them. Dad shifted uncomfortably.

"Holly, stop being so childish and use your brain," Mum snapped, apparently not intimidated. "Do you think we _wanted _to keep this a secret? There was more at stake here. Your brother is not a criminal."

"I dunno," I mused. "I think escaping an arrest is a crime. Oh, and there's that 'horrible' thing he did to someone in the Battle. None of you will tell me about that so I assume it was illegal." I had only just remembered that but it seemed like a good point to raise.

"Do you realise that if people had known you and Zac are related, you would have been questioned?" Mum hissed.

"Yes," I replied defiantly, "but I'd have been prepared. I got questioned anyway, by two jerks. Your plan didn't work out."

"Your brother-" she began but I was sick of it.

"My brother, my brother, my brother!" I snapped. "That's all I ever seem to hear. Holly, make sure you leave this out for your brother. Holly, your brother needs to talk to us. Holly, you should ask your brother. Holly, it doesn't matter that half the school is bullying you, we only care about your brother!" I was shouting by this point, for the first time in a very long time, but I couldn't help it. "Do you even care about me?" There was silence so I continued. "I'm not stupid, you know. I know I was a mistake- or is the term a 'surprise' nowadays? Maybe you should have had an abortion- then you could have just stuck with Zac." I had a feeling that I had just overstepped the mark. I was right.

Mum gaped at me. "How dare you!" she shrieked, before raising a hand. My dad stopped her.

"Lisa." he said quietly but calmly. "Calm down." His expression was grave.

"See," I muttered venomously. "I bet you never tried to hit Zac." She glared at me, looking a bit distraught. I glared right back. "Did you even want me to come home?"

"Holly," Dad began but stopped. He opened his mouth uselessly and then said, "of course we wanted you to come home."

"Yeah?" I spat out. "Because you wanted _my_ company or because you wanted the news about your darling son?" He stared at me, speechless. "Well, don't worry. He's fine. Seeing a teacher from school, arguing with my boyfriend and generally living. You don't need to see me for the rest of the holidays now. I bet you're thrilled."

"You're being very rude," Dad said in an attempt to be calm. Mum merely glared.

"Whatever," I shrugged, "I'm out of here." I then turned and went to my bedroom. Once there, I thought about what had just happened. I had never let anyone know what I thought about my family life and even though a lot of what I had just shouted had been spontaneous, the more I considered it, the more I realised that it was true.

I could remember being in year 5 and being excited about being in the choir in the school concert. Mostly because my parents could come and watch me. But, at the last minute, my brother showed up and he didn't want to go to the concert (not enough time, he claimed) so they didn't either. I was the only kid with no one watching them. In the end, he stayed longer anyway and my parents forgot to pick me up until my teacher phoned the house up. Zac never apologised. My parents did but got mad at how sulky I was because, after all, my brother was there and wasn't I pleased to see him?

That was one of the worse incidents but there were quite a few like it. I appreciated that he was in a precarious position but all my frustration had boiled over. Maybe I was being selfish but not once had my parents acknowledged the fact that I had been put in the Hospital Wing, even though Mrs. Fry had said that she had sent a letter home.

I successfully managed to spend the rest of that day and Christmas Eve away from my parents. Several times, my dad came to my bedroom door, probably to try and make up, but I was still angry so I barricaded the door and refused to answer. On Christmas Eve, they were out for the majority of the day- visiting friends- so I had the house to myself anyway. During this time, I wrote to my friends but kept it upbeat. For some reason, I could only say that I had argued with my parents and nothing more. I also placed some presents under the tree. I wasn't sure why, but I would have felt stupid keeping presents which weren't for me.

Usually, on Christmas morning, my parents would wake me up and we would open presents together, before going to visit family friends or doing something together. This time, however, I woke up late in the morning, to find my presents by my bed and a note saying that my parents had gone over their friends' house. It felt a bit strange to open gifts by myself and make myself breakfast without the usual jokes. And that made me feel even more stubborn because I was sure that Zac would not have gotten this treatment. Of course, it didn't occur to me that Zac had probably not been this rude to begin with, or that I was the one who wasn't willing to listen.

My parents returned near the evening of what had to be the most depressing Christmas of my life. I had spent the entire day doing homework alone and feeling resentful. I did not acknowledge their presence.

About an hour after they returned, my father came up to see me. He timed it well- he waited until I left my room to go to the toilet and caught me on my way back out (by hiding in my room). I attempted to ignore him but he was sitting on my chair and had dumped as much stuff as he could onto my bed. If there's one thing I'll say for my dad, he's cunning. It's probably where Zac got it from.

"Get out of my room," I muttered tonelessly. He shook his head.

"We need to talk Holls," he replied calmly.

"I think we made our feelings clear."

He shook his head again. "No, Holly. _You_ made your feelings clear. I have other things to say and-"

"Oh good, you got her," my mother interrupted, poking her head around my doorway. I glared at her.

"This isn't happy families," I snapped. "Both of you, get out of my room."

"No," Dad said firmly. "We're going to talk. All of us."

"You can't make me." I muttered stubbornly.

"But we can try," my mum added. "And as angry as you are, I hope you're old enough to understand that you should listen." Then, apparently not believing her own words, she closed the door and stood in front of it. I glared at her mutinously.

"Now, Holly, what you said hurt us. A lot." Dad began. "What made you say it?"

"I was sick of hearing lies," I answered. My parents traded looks.

"You must realise that we love you just as much as we love Zac?" Mum asked, smiling uneasily.

"Funny way of showing it," I replied acidly.

"This is a hard time for your brother," Dad tried hesitantly, "we're sorry if it seems like we're neglecting you but-"

"He matters more," I finished for him. "It's always a hard time for him, so he gets the attention." I swallowed as this new realisation hit me. It wasn't that they loved me much less. They just had to give Zac more attention. "It's fine. I understand."

"No, you don't," Dad disagreed. "And we're going to keep talking until you do."

"I thought we just had." I frowned.

"You decided what you thought we would say." Dad replied. "You matter just as much to us as your brother. I know it seems that we're neglecting you but that's because we're trying to keep on top of this situation." He coughed, blushed and then added, "and if you must know…we were going to take you to that show you really like yesterday- that old musical, West Side Story- as a treat for coping so well with what was going on but you didn't seem to want to talk." He sounded rueful but he didn't seem annoyed at me. Unexpectedly, a wave of guilt came over me. I had been taken to see West Side Story when I was younger and I had really enjoyed it: one of the few Muggle things I did like, even if it was nearly ninety years old. Of course, this fact meant that the tickets must have cost a lot.

"W-what did you do with the tickets?" I whispered. "Did you two go?"

Mum shook her head. "It wouldn't have been the same without you. We sold them near the theatre- I think it might be illegal but that's not the point- and just kept the money."

"We wanted to know what you'd like to do with the money," Dad added.

I shook my head. "I don't care. It's your money." My parents traded looks again.

"Holly, I know it's hard to understand," Mum said gently, "but we're not trying to favour one child more than the other. Zac really is in trouble and we're just trying to keep him out of jail. You matter just as much." No matter how she phrased it, the obvious thought was still there: Zac currently mattered more than I did.

"I understand," I murmured softly.

"I'm sorry for trying to hit you," Mum continued, looking at the floor, "I was…I was shocked by what you said. How could you even _think_ that I would rather have an abortion than have you?" She looked up, her blue eyes- the same eyes my brother and I possessed- piercing mine.

"I didn't," I whispered. "I…I didn't think, I just…" Then, to my disgust, tears started falling down my cheeks. My dad instantly put his arm around me. I could not make myself move away.

"Look, we want to be straight with you," Dad murmured, "so here it is. You weren't planned but you certainly _weren't_ a mistake. You're our lovely little girl and the thought of abortion never even crossed our minds." He smiled but then frowned. "How long have you been worrying about that for?"

I shook my head, unable to communicate that the thought had been at the back of my head for a long time, but had never really gotten to the front- I had barely even acknowledged it. "I never really did," I lied. "I was just angry."

"If you're sure." My dad muttered. I had a feeling that he didn't believe me. We were all silent for a moment, contemplating what was happening.

"What did Zac do?" I asked suddenly. My parents looked startled.

"Holly…"Mum began.

I sat up, my eyes flashing angrily. "You're not going to tell me, are you? Why, what is it this time? National security?" They looked nervous now.

"It's not that," Mum said, "but…it's Zac place to tell you. He made us promise not to tell you."

"Sure," I said bitterly, "just like he told me not to tell anyone about him. That man has too many secrets."

"You know how he is though," Dad said in defence of him. "He's got a lot on his plate."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "I guess I can live without knowing," I added, mainly to get them smiling again. It worked.

"So…" Mum said awkwardly. "Christmas dinner is downstairs…should we go eat?"

"I'm starved," Dad agreed with a nervous grin.

I shrugged. "Sure, let's go."

If there is one thing that my family isn't good at, it's emotional talks. All three of us left the room feeling awkward and, although I was no longer angry, I was still resentful. Really, very little had been resolved except that I accepted that my parents did love me as much as Zac.

Before I left, I spotted my old doll, Cariad. It was funny, but although I had taken her to Hogwarts every year, I hardly ever looked at her anymore. As I walked downstairs, I found myself remembering the time I named Cariad. After the first time that Zac had looked at me strangely (before, I had just called her 'my doll'. I wasn't a very creative child).

_You know how he is_, Dad had said. And I did know.

He considered himself first, before everyone else. And he would never change.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

By the time I got back to Hogwarts, I was wondering whether there was something about me which made people mad. Because my parents and I were getting along again but, just like with Devyn and the others, there was an undeniable tension in the air. I had apologised for being rude. They had apologised for making me feel neglected. We all smiled at each other. But I still felt like I couldn't talk to them.

In addition, the school had gone back to glaring at me. They had been doing it before but now, it was a lot more intense- just as it had been when the news about Zac first came out. On my trip between the Ravenclaws (none of whom could look me in the eye) and the Slytherins (only Rune could manage it here) I had to put up with fifteen whispered insults and several carriage-door slams.

Somehow, I wasn't surprised to be told by Natasha- later that evening- that my brother had 'done it again'; this time, a man named Ryan Reaver had been killed. I couldn't think of a response to her sniping so I went to bed. 2049 was clearly no better than 2048. In fact, it seemed a lot worse.

I considered confronting my friends about the article but, somehow, I couldn't summon up the energy. The holidays had drained me and I found that all I really wanted to do was get through the rest of the year (and my life) in relative peace and quiet. So, I drifted through the halls on the first school day back quietly, focusing only on Rune.

That changed when I got back to my dorm.

Walking in, the first thing that caught my eye was the fact that my blue hangings were ripped- only a few shreds of midnight-blue remained. My trunk, which was locked, had been smashed in. My sheets were half-destroyed and on the wall behind, were the words '_MURDERERS NOT WANTED. GO HOME.' _I stared, speechless. Then, numbly, I turned and walked right back out.

"That was quick," Devyn commented. "Where's your Transfiguration book?"

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"Your Transfiguration book. I can't go through the homework with you without it, you know." His voice was faintly teasing.

"Oh, yeah, that…" My voice trailed off. Once I had seen my bed, I had completely forgotten what I had even gone to the room for. "Um…maybe we shouldn't do that tonight…"

"But Transfiguration is tomorrow."

"I'll get it," Sandy volunteered. "I need to get my book as well so I'll grab yours. It's at the top of your trunk, right?"

"No, wait!" I called but she had already walked off. Dev and Rhian looked at me curiously. I said nothing and merely waited for the inevitable.

"Holly!" my friend shouted when she ran back in about a minute later. "What happened in there?" People turned to look at her as she ran over to me.

"I…I don't know," I whispered. I had spent the minute planning a nice, cutting remark because what was there was so obvious but it just hadn't come out. "It was just like that when I went in there."

"Oh Holly!" she cried before sitting next to me and pulling me into a hug. "Why didn't you tell us? We can get who did this."

"Sandy, what's going on?" Rhian asked. Devyn murmured his confusion. Sandy quickly explained what my bed now looked like. Their faces both darkened.

"Who the hell would do that?" Devyn gasped. He looked around the room. "Own up. Someone in this House must have trashed her stuff. Who did it?"

No one said anything, although a few people smirked. Rhian spoke up. "Come on, this isn't fair. Why would you do that?"

Still no one spoke up. "That's it," Devyn growled, "I'm going to Professor Neclor." There was some nervous murmuring but no one owned up. He swore at them before heading out of the room. I was surprised; I had thought he was bluffing. Rhian carried on appealing to people. Her girlfriend just sat with me whilst I stared at the floor without really seeing it.

When Devyn returned, he brought Neclor with him. The teacher went into the dorm and quickly came out, furious.

"He'll get them now, Holls," my ever-optimistic friend whispered reassuringly. "This will be sorted out in no time."

"No, it won't." I replied softly.

She looked at me, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "No one's gonna own up. They all think he did it. As far as they're concerned, they're better off without me."

"That's not true," Sandy whispered fiercely. "Neclor will get them. I mean, why would anyone do this to begin with?"

"Why would anyone commit murder?" I replied. She opened her mouth to reply and then closed it. To Sandy, there was just no conceivable option. She didn't have an answer so she waited curiously for mine. But I did not answer either; I didn't know what the answer was.


	16. To Test a Friendship

Disclaimer: It would have been nice to get it for Christmas...but nope, i don't own Harry Potter.

Geth342: 7 days! Didn't think i could manage it but i did. My next update will be in 7-10 days: probably more towards 10 because i have a lot of work. Also, i write a chapter ahead and 2000 words of chapter 17 had to be done in one sitting otherwise it wouldn't have worked, so i got it done early. So between the 3rd and the 6th. On a side-note, it's very annoying to need to look up information in a Harry Potter book and find you only have the Russian version nearby.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone who's reviewing and alerting and whatnot. I hope you all had great Christmas' or whichever celebrations you have. I hope you enjoy and Happy New Year.

Chapter 16: To Test a Friendship

True to my prediction, Neclor could not convince any of the Ravenclaw students to say anything to him then. However, by the next day he knew who had done it because someone had anonymously slipped him a note. I couldn't help but wonder who that person was: whoever they were, they did not make themselves known to me. In fact, all I knew about the incident was that Professor Neclor was good at fixing broken items and that the perpetrators were a mix of sixth and seventh-year boys. They were given an incredible amount of detentions and forced to write apology notes to me. Neclor, in his rage, also took one hundred points off Ravenclaw (guessing correctly that I didn't really care whether Ravenclaw won or lost the House Cup; or at least, by this point I didn't). In addition, a warning was issued to the school that anyone bullying me because of the article would face harsh consequences.

(This led to Rune shouting, "What about people bullying her for any other reason?" which, unexpectedly, made me laugh.)

On my fourth day back, I received a note from Zac telling me to meet him halfway between the village and the school at 6pm on the Saturday after next. Instantly, all my holiday resentment bubbled up but I managed to quell it as I replied. After all, Zac wasn't responsible for what my parents thought, and I had been aware of him caring less about me for a long time.

I wasn't sure whether to tell anyone about the meeting (apart from Rune) but, in the end, loyalty won out. It was really quite bizarre; I was angry at my whole family but I couldn't bring myself to betray them. Maybe they had gotten to me more than I had suspected.

One thing I noticed was that Sandy and Rhian were spending a lot less time with us- it was soon clear to me and Devyn that we were going to be spending a lot of evenings together (he jokingly suggested that they were trying to get us together. I could only smile weakly in response. He really didn't understand the truth). They often had excuses, such as having to go and see a teacher, or to get a book from the library. Occasionally, Devyn would go to sit with Max, whom he now spent less time with- my fault, I feared- and I would be forced to go to the library or to a quiet corner and hope for the best. Incidentally, one time when I did go to the library and the other two had claimed they would be there, they weren't. I didn't bring it up.

I have to admit, their disappearances were not very high on my priorities list: they were more things I noticed and would get a bit irritated about when Devyn and I had another evening alone/ I had an evening by myself to look forward to. Besides, I didn't really want to bring it up because then I would have to fake not knowing etc. I wasn't even sure _why_ they couldn't just say it. It wasn't really considered a bad thing to be gay any more- at least, it wasn't in the Muggle world. Maybe the Wizarding world was actually about 100 years behind. I had never really asked.

Still, Devyn did have to find out soon and, considering the way my year was going, I was somehow not surprised that he found out by us walking in on them.

We were on our way back from the library, the Friday before I was due to meet Zac, and we were having an odd discussion about the Room of Requirement. I said that if it was supposed to give you anything you needed, then it would give you food, but Devyn insisted that food was one of five exceptions to some law or other that we didn't really need to know about (and which he didn't know the name of anyway). Devyn decided that, in order to prove his point, we would go to the Room of Requirement and I could try to make food appear. It wasn't exactly a serious discussion, but it had had both of us laughing for a while.

When we got to the room, we ended up just asking for a room we could use. Any old room: we weren't fussy. After a minute or so, a door appeared. Devyn went in first.

"Now we'll see who's right," he chuckled. "I should have bet you." I started to walk in after him but he stopped and trailed off. "What?" He sounded confused.

"I won, didn't I?" I joked, moving further into the room. Then I saw what he was looking at. "Oh."

Sandy and Rhian were standing centimetres apart, staring at us. Rhian's face was shocked. Sandy's was bright red. Their hair was messed-up and I had the feeling that the part I hadn't seen (but Devyn clearly had) was them kissing.

"We can explain," Rhian stammered.

"Go ahead," Devyn replied acidly. The girls traded glances.

"We fell," the brunette replied eventually. I winced. It was such a lame explanation. And everyone knew it.

"Why were you in here to begin with?" he asked coldly.

They traded stricken glances again. "We, uh…wanted to see if there were any spare Potions scales," Sandy replied. I groaned and put my head in my hands. She was a terrible liar and this was, frankly, an awful one. Luckily for them, my groan caused attention to turn to me.

"Did you see what they were doing?" Devyn demanded.

"No," I replied honestly, "but I'm going with kissing."

"And you're okay with that?" the boy asked, hands moving wildly in the air.

I shrugged, faking nonchalance. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because…because they didn't tell us!" he spluttered.

"Why should they?" I wanted to know. "You're not their mother, Dev. They can do what they want."

"Yeah but…we're their friends."

"That's nice."

"I'm gonna go. I just…agh!" He turned and stormed out, leaving me with the two now very upset girls.

"Well, that went well," I muttered. They just looked at me dumbly. I looked around awkwardly. I was never very good with these sorts of situations. "I guess I'll just be going," I murmured. Neither of them said anything so I backed out of the room and headed back to the Common Room. Devyn was not there. I found myself wishing that we had never decided to go to the Room of Requirement in the first place.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I had never been so happy to see a Saturday as I was that day, because it meant I could escape the awkwardness and hang around with Rune and the other Slytherins. Devyn would not look Rhian and Sandy in the eye, and neither of them could think of anything to say to us.

At some point during the day, I ended up telling Rune and Lysana about the incident. Rune laughed at Devyn's reaction (until I elbowed him in the ribs) and then thought about the other two. He wanted to know why I hadn't spoken to them.

"Because they didn't speak to me," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but you're the calmer one, aren't you?" Lysana asked.

"For the one and only time," Rune quipped. I elbowed him again.

"So, shouldn't you do the talking?" she continued, ignoring both of us. "You're the only calm one in this situation; you should be the one talking to them."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "You amaze me, Holls," She murmured incredulously. "You're their friend. They can barely look at you. Help them."

"Why am I getting friendship advice off a Slytherin?" I asked nonchalantly.

She poked her tongue out at me. "Be snooty if you want," she replied, not taking any offence, "you know I'm right."

"She's got you there." Rune laughed before moving out of the way in case I decided to elbow him again.

"Fine, fine," I sighed. "Who do I talk to first?"

"The girls," Rune replied. I glanced at him. "Not because I dislike McDonald," he added, guessing my thoughts. "He's a big boy. He's angry. He'll deal with it in his own way but he'll need to speak to the girls first. Pierce and Aldritt will be worrying like hell about what they did. I'd go speak to them first. Lys?"

"Yeah, that's what I'd say," My best friend grinned, before looking at her watch. "It is now half-past four. Go find them. Unless they're doing something they shouldn't be…" She trailed off, smirking. I wrinkled my nose, disgusted.

"Thanks for that Lysana," I muttered wryly. "I really needed that image in my head." She laughed at my obvious discomfort as I tried to think of something different, before gesturing towards the school (we were near the lake). I took the hint and went.

It occurred to me that I was going to miss dinner. I hoped Zac realised this. However, as I looked in the Common Room and the library, I could find neither girl. I did sort of know where they probably were but I decided that they could be anywhere and walked around the castle, looking for them. Eventually, at about quarter past five, I gave up and went back to the Common Room, where I found Sandy. I couldn't see Rhian anywhere. I walked up to her nervously.

"Hey," I greeted her awkwardly. She turned around to look at me and then, immediately, her eyes looked away.

"Hey," she replied, equally awkward.

"So…" I said. "Where's Rhian?"

She still wouldn't look at me. "She's feeling ill so she went to bed."

"Oh. What's wrong with her?"

She shrugged. "She's a bit sniffly and she has a headache. Nothing too bad."

"Oh," I replied. "I hope she gets better soon." I sighed. This was not going the way I wanted it to. I decided to try again. "Sandy, can I have a word with you, please?" She still wouldn't look at me. "Please?" I added a pleading tone to my voice. "It's important."

She nodded. "But not in here." I smiled and walked out, making sure that she followed.

For the first time in ages, I realised just how _full_ the castle was; wherever we turned, there would be a group of people. Logic told me that it was just a coincidence but the other part of my brain was convinced that this was part of a plot to not let me speak to Sandy. Somehow, we ended up outside, the logic being that no one (except for Lysana and Rune- possibly- and they didn't count) could be outside at this time on a cold January evening.

We were near the gates when we stopped. She looked at me unwillingly. "What do you want to talk about?"

I took a breath to summon up some courage. "You and Rhian." I stated.

"What about us?" she asked defensively. It didn't sound right on her.

I considered what I could say for a moment. Should I talk about the relationship? No, I decided. That would probably lead to more trouble. "Why are you two avoiding me?" I asked. "What did I do?"

"We're not avoiding you…we're just…I thought you were…" she stuttered. "Don't you care?"

"That you're avoiding me? Yes." I decided to play it stupid and get her to admit the problem.

"No, I mean don't you care that we lied to you?" She immediately bit her lip and looked away again. I smirked triumphantly and then made my face puzzled.

"You didn't really lie," I pointed out. "You just never mentioned it."

"It amounts to the same thing." she muttered.

I sighed. "Fine. Do you want the truth?" She nodded. "I would have appreciated being told but, I guess you would have told me and Dev eventually. I mean, at the end of the day, it's not a big thing, is it? You're still my friends and nothing's changed really."

She stared at me for a moment, slightly gobsmacked, before saying, "this doesn't sound like you, Holly."

"Um…" Now I didn't have an answer. "What do you mean?"

"Well…you're…talking."

"Yes, I noticed," I replied dryly. "I've been able to talk for a long time now."

She smiled uneasily. "Yeah, but you're actually talking about feelings and stuff."

"Your point being?"

"You never do that."

"Well, maybe I decided to start," I muttered irritably. "Is there a problem?"

"Actually, you're never this vocal either," She murmured thoughtfully. I stared at her.

"Is this 'let's analyse Holly' time?" I growled. "It's the New Year. I made a resolution to be more talkative, alright?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Okay. So, you're really not mad?"

"Nope," I looked at my watch and swore. It had just gone half-five and I needed to be halfway between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade at six. "Look, I really need to, uh, do something…"

"Okay, I'll go back with you." She sounded infinitely more cheerful than before.

"No, I mean…" I stopped. There was no way to explain that I needed to do something _outside_ the school. "Sandy, if I ask you to help me with something, do you promise not to think I'm insane or tell anyone?"

She stared at me, eyes wide. "Sure. You're not planning to kill anyone, are you?"

"No, nothing like that." I took a deep breath. "I need to find a way to get off the grounds without a teacher noticing, within the next half-hour."

"Why?"

I grimaced. "I…you see, I need to…"

She caught on quickly. "Is this something to do with your brother?"

"It might be," I admitted. Her eyes grew even wider. "It won't be if I don't get out there though," I added.

"Let's check out the gates. Maybe they'll be open?" she suggested. With no better ideas, we decided to walk over there. "I wish Devyn could be as understanding as you," she muttered.

"Dev just likes to be in control. He'll get over it," I replied, not sure whether this really was the case.

"You reckon?" she asked. I nodded.

"People just get shocked," I affirmed.

"You weren't shocked."

"Oh." I was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I wasn't." Then, seeing her worried face, I decided to tell the truth and hope she didn't get mad. "But I was the first time I saw you."

She stopped to stare at me again. "What?"

"On the night of the dance," I explained. "Rune and I went outside to get some fresh air and we saw you two kiss." She didn't say anything. "I didn't tell anyone because I thought it was up to you to say."

She exhaled loudly. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"That explains more than it doesn't actually," she muttered after a few seconds of silence. I looked at her questioningly, so she explained. "You didn't seem to be able to look me in the eye for a while after that. Plus when we, uh…you know…" She pulled a face. "When we were being stupid prats, you said that you thought we were lying about having a secret. I guess it was obvious you knew then."

I shrugged. "I didn't mean to spy on you. It just happened. Anyway, here's the gate, how do I get out?"

We looked at the main gate for a few minutes until Sandy decided to push it. To our immense surprise, it opened. I didn't know whether it was always open or whether someone had just left it open but I decided that I didn't really want to sit around and discuss it in case it closed again. I thanked Sandy for helping me.

"Holly," she called. I looked back. "Promise me you'll tell me what's going on at some point."

"I'll try," I replied before slipping off the grounds.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My brother and I arrived at the same time. He had charmed himself to look like a dreadlocked teenage wizard with a broken nose. He was also wearing a cloak to prevent recognition.

We walked through the village. He put his arm around my back to prevent even more suspicion, although I did point out, in a whisper, that I was clearly out of place because I was Hogwarts age. As usual, he ignored me.

We managed to get to the cave quickly. Once there, he caused light to form but made us sit away from the entrance of the cave so that the light would be less conspicuous. He seemed to look at all sorts of details which I would probably forget. I guessed that fifteen years as a fugitive did that to you.

For a few minutes, neither of us said anything. I was trying to warm myself up by jogging on the spot. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. The cold did not seem to bother him.

He looked at me, his face impassive. I studied it, marvelling at how much he looked like my brother whilst wearing the guise of someone else. There was just something about the way he didn't fidget and the way he sat.

"So, you didn't get caught?" he asked after a while.

I shook my head. "Just walked out of the gate."

He laughed. "Can you do that? I thought you'd use a secret tunnel."

"I don't know any," I pointed out.

"I'll have to tell you sometime," he smirked.

We fell silent for another minute. During this minute, I looked around and wondered what we could talk about. Then, the perfect question came to me. But I still needed to summon up the courage.

"Zac?" I said hesitantly. He looked my way and raised one eyebrow, which I took to be a sign for me to continue. "What did you do to that man in the Battle?" He still looked at me so I added, "you know, the man who killed Michelle Grant."

He was silent for a moment. Then: "I'd rather not say."

"Why not?" I demanded.

For the first time since I'd ever known him, he blushed. "It doesn't show me in a good light," he mumbled, ashamed.

I stared at him. "I guessed that. Isn't that why it was 'something horrible'?" I used air quotes.

He smiled uneasily. "I'll tell you at some point but it's the first time I've seen you in over a month. I don't want to make this conversation depressing." He winked at me. I pursed my lips, unimpressed by these 'sentiments' but before I could complain, he asked me if I had had a nice Christmas.

This, of course, left me with a dilemma. I could either pretend everything had been fine and leave all my issues unresolved; or I could explain everything and probably end up being rejected by him anyway or having a strange heart-to-heart discussion which I didn't want and, somehow, I doubted he wanted either.

"Fine," I muttered. "Yours?"

His eyes crinkled in a laugh. "Yep, mine was great. I love spending Christmas by myself, hidden away and praying no one finds me. I do it every year."

I stuck my tongue out, making him laugh again. Then, curiously, I asked, "Who do you spend Christmas with then, usually?"

"The people who work in my company. I spent last Christmas with Anton, my right-hand man, and his wife."

"So you _do_ have a company," I remarked, astonished. "How come I've never heard of it, like its name?"

He burst out laughing again. "It's more…you hear of it. If you search for us on this thing called the internet-"

"I _have_ heard of the internet."

"Yes, well, you'll find us. Otherwise, it's word of mouth," he grinned. "And now you want to know what we do exactly." I nodded. "We're based in the muggle world. We find items which people need. It's a small company, mostly muggles, although Anton and I are both wizards. And yes, Anton has heard of my past. He's no stranger to breaking the law himself. We get items which are the hardest to find, along with two muggles who know about magic."

"How do they know about magic?"

"We told them."

"Oh." Somehow, I wasn't surprised. Did anything he did surprise me anymore?

"Yep. So, how's school?"

"It's alright…oh, except everyone's mad because you killed another person."

"I did not!" he said indignantly. "I quite liked Reaver in school, when we all got on. I don't even know where he lives!"

"Lived," I corrected automatically. He glared at me. I took the hint. "Alright, alright," I said in a placating tone, "I didn't mean you killed him. I meant everyone thinks you did."

"Are your friends giving you trouble again?" he asked, suddenly concerned. I shook my head and explained about the trashed room. He offered to teach me a spell to annoy people who bothered me but I declined, feeling it best not to get myself into even more trouble.

From there, I told him about the current troubles with Devyn and the girls and he laughed (was it a typical Slytherin reaction?) before saying that my friends seemed to have more nerve than his had had. He then decided to tell me about how one of his old friends- someone I'd never heard of- had asked out his first girlfriend and had stumbled over the words so much that, by the end of it, no one was even sure what he was talking about.

The time we spent in the cave reminded me of when I was younger and Zac was a bit more normal. He was cheerful, joking and charming- just like the big brother I loved. Just like the big brother that I had not seen for a long time when talking to me alone.

When we decided that it was time for me to leave (around 9pm), he walked me back to the village, stopping to point out Honeydukes and said that there was a secret passage in the cellar I could use. I was then forced to point out that Honeydukes had a closing time and it would be useless if I got there and found I couldn't get out again.

He left me a little before the school gates, so I walked up alone. As I pushed open the gate, I thought about what a successful trip it had actually been- better than I thought it would be. Then I realised that a teacher had spotted me. I groaned. It was Professor Ramik.

"Miss Carew, what were you doing outside the school?" she demanded, coming over to me.

"Um…I…snuck out to the village."

"Why?" Her voice was hard.

"Wanted to do some shopping," I shot back, glad that I was a good liar. She pursed her lips.

"Very well, Miss Carew. Fifty points off Ravenclaw. You can't just sneak out whenever you want."

"Yes, Professor," I murmured, trying to look ashamed.

"And detention for a month," she added. "I'll give you the details in Monday's lesson." She strode away. I groaned. Great. How would I explain _this_ to everyone?


	17. Rune's Birthday

**Disclaimer**: I have never owned Harry Potter and i don't think i'm going to start now.

**WARNING:** **Dark sexual theme present in this chapter. Nothing graphic.**

**Geth342**: This was, without a doubt, one of the hardest things i've ever written and the hardest thing i've written for ff .net This and the next chapter. I don't know if i pulled it off or not and i'm not sure if the current rating is suitable or not. I think it is but i may be pushing it. I have re-written nearly every part of this chapter at least once.

I hope you all enjoy. There's another note at the end. If you have any flames, now until the 13th would be a good time to shout them because i'm in a great mood (my Uni. interview apparently went better than i expected because i have an offer!). Next update will hopefully be on the 14th January but due to exams, may be a day or two late. Enjoy!

Chapter 17: Rune's Birthday

I trudged back to the Common Room unwillingly. How was I going to explain to my friends that I had detention for a month without explaining why? How was I going to explain where 50 points had gone? I had a deep, dark feeling that we were now behind Hufflepuff- a feat which hadn't been managed for quite a while- and although I didn't particularly care, the rest of my House did. Furthermore, I was also faced with the task of either coming clean to Sandy or lying to her. This really was a bad situation.

Luckily, when I got up there, none of them were there. Rhian was in bed, of course. Sandy might have been looking after her and Devyn had probably decided to stay away from them. Not an ideal solution but it would work out fine for me, I decided.

In order to avoid awkward questions/random insults I decided to go to bed, despite the complaints from my very hungry stomach. I was a bit surprised to note that there was no one else in the room, until it occurred to me that Rhian could have ended up going to the Hospital Wing and Sandy would have been with her.

When I woke up and went to Breakfast, I found that most of my table was glaring at me. Devyn smiled when he saw me.

"Hey, Holly," he greeted me. "What did you do? We're fifty points down."

"What makes you think it was me?" I asked.

"Call it a hunch."

"I got caught coming back from Hogsmeade," I admitted.

He raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing there to begin with?"

"Shopping for Sephy. It's her birthday next week and I forgot to get her a present," I lied. He shook his head.

"Smart, Holls, smart."

Behind him, Sandy frowned at me and I blushed. What else could I say? I didn't want people to know the truth. I spent the rest of breakfast avoiding Sandy's eyes.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"So, let me get this straight," Rune was saying. "Since the beginning of this year, you've had one attack on you and your stuff?"

"Yes."

"And since the beginning of the school year, you've had countless arguments, been in the Hospital Wing once due to a related incident and had all your stuff destroyed?"

"Yes."

"And now you've gone and lost 50 points and landed yourself in detention. And some kids who shouted at you about this lost 25 more points for bullying you."

"Sounds about right."

"Merlin, you must have the worst luck ever! You're like a walking disaster."

"Thanks for that, Rune," I muttered. "That really boosted my confidence."

He had his arm around my waist and he gave me a squeeze as he said, "no problem."

It was Monday afternoon and I was beginning to wish I had stayed in bed all day. Professor Ramik had informed me that, for the next four Friday evenings, I was to report to her and she would set me a task. In addition, we had lost fifty points from this and twenty-five more from two kids who shouted at me; thanks to me, we had lost one hundred and seventy-five points in the space of two weeks. The Slytherins had taken to cheering me whenever they saw me and asking whether they would get points if they protected me. The other Houses ignored me. The Ravenclaws glared at me.

Rune was, of course, taking the situation with his usual humour. Apart from the whole 'being hated' thing, he said, the idea was actually quite funny. No one else really agreed with him but I was glad that at least one of us was happy. It was one of the things about him that made me like him- his never-ending cheerfulness.

We were sat in the library, opposite Lysana and Richard who appeared to be arguing about something. A few seats away were Dev and the two girls who had, apparently, made up. I wasn't sure what had been said but he had forgiven them and it appeared that life had more or less gotten back to normal.

"Do you reckon if I threw something, they'd quit arguing?" Rune whispered in my ear. I laughed.

"Maybe if it was really hard," I replied. "What are they arguing about anyway?"

"Merlin knows," he muttered, "but if they don't stop soon, I will turn Richard into a turnip."

"You couldn't."

"Probably not," he admitted cheerfully, "but I'll try."

"Try what?" Lysana asked. We looked up at her, startled.

"You finished arguing?" I asked.

"We weren't arguing; we were having a frank discussion."

"I think Frank left in disgust," Rune said. We groaned at the terrible joke but the tension disappeared.

"So what were you going to try?"

He flashed a sparkling grin at her. "Well, apart from turning Richard into a turnip, I thought I could have a party."

"For turning me into a turnip?" Richard wanted to know, apparently not caring about the threat.

Rune threw a spare quill at him. "No, for my birthday."

"Your birthday isn't until February," I reminded him.

"Planning ahead."

"I'll say," Lysana muttered. "I can't even think about what I'm doing next week."

"Well, not everyone can be as brilliant as me." Rune agreed.

Richard threw the quill back at him. "Not everyone can have as big a head either."

"Hey, why hide brilliance?"

"Because it's not there." Lysana laughed.

"Holly's on my side, aren't you Holly?" he asked, putting his arm around me again and pulling me close. Lysana wrinkled her nose in mock-disgust.

"I'm abstaining," I replied, making the other two laugh. Rune mock-scowled and let go of me again.

"Some girlfriend you are. You're supposed to be on my side."

"You're not supposed to laugh at my misfortune," I pointed out.

"Touché," Rune grinned before giving me a quick kiss, his grey eyes sparkling. "So, party, 14th February. You all up for it?"

"Will it get you to shut up?" Richard asked. His friend nodded. "Then sure."

"Excellent!" Rune beamed. "How about you two?"

"Fine, but I'm _not_ getting drunk," Lysana said. "Not after last time."

"I guess," I muttered, "but I'm not getting drunk either." My one and only time of being drunk had ended horribly and I felt no desire to repeat the experience.

"Spoilsports," Rune murmured. He stood up. "Well, I'm going to go make arrangements. Things to do, people to see. Bye-bye now." He gave me another, longer kiss before wandering off. Richard merely shook his head before going back to his work.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Sandy never asked me about that Saturday night. I could see the curiosity in her eyes but something seemed to restrain her. She never asked, I never answered. I didn't know if she had told the other two about it, but if she had, neither of them gave any sign.

Zac sent me a note asking for another meeting but I told him-bluntly- that I was already in enough trouble from the last one so if he could wait until we had a better plan, I would be grateful. It seemed like the best times were Hogsmeade trips, and the next one would be Valentine 's Day. The only problem with this was that it was Lysana, and not Rune, who would be going to Hogsmeade with me that day; she had decided to get me prepared for Rune's sixteenth birthday and nothing I could say would dissuade her.

Luckily, the time in between passed relatively smoothly. I did not cause the House to lose any more points although, as we had been on ten by the end of the last incident, it would have been hard (by Rune's birthday, we had gotten up to sixty-two. Unfortunately, Hufflepuff had one hundred-and-ninety, Slytherin had two hundred-and-fourteen, and Gryffindor had two hundred-and-twenty-six. We had no chance whatsoever of winning the cup). I served all my detentions quietly and kept up with the ever-increasing piles of work. Zac did not get arrested and the murderer did not do anything.

Eventually, the day of Rune's birthday crept up. None of the Ravenclaws were invited although Sandy, in her usual innocent way, did tell me to wish him a happy birthday for her. It seemed that it was mostly Slytherins; this wasn't exactly surprising because most of the other Houses didn't get on with Rune anyway.

My detentions had finished the evening before so I was quite happy to go to Hogsmeade the following day. I had ended up having to reject my brother because there was no way to refuse Lysana (I had come up with, what I felt was a brilliant idea, of telling her about him. He told me no, because her father would use her as evidence in any trials where he may get caught).

The day passed amiably enough. Lysana and I rarely got to hang out together anymore, and I had forgotten how much fun it was. I bought Rune his birthday present- since he wasn't with me, I didn't have to hide it- and Lysana attempted to make me buy new clothes in order for me to look the part. After the fourth shop, she won the argument and I, unwillingly, bought a muggle-style dress ("Hey, you've got to look proper, right?" she had asked when I hesitated. "You're a Muggle-born, buy the dress.") As my sense of fashion was severely limited, due to the fact I didn't care about it, I decided to trust her when she said I looked good.

We ended the day in The Three Broomsticks. As we sat down with our mugs of Butterbeer, Lysana looked at hers pensively.

"I bet you they'll get drunk tonight," she remarked cheerfully.

"Who will?"

"The boys." Then, seeing my confused look, she added, "Richard and Rune."

"Oh, yeah," I grimaced. "I hate looking after drunk people." She began to laugh so I decided to shut her up. "You're just as bad," I pointed out. "Last time we both went to a party, you were convinced that you had to jump in the lake for spiritual reasons." I snorted. "It was spiritual all right. Alcohol spirits. And I was the person who had to restrain you."

"I remember you telling me about that…" she murmured thoughtfully, "but I don't remember doing it."

"Well, no, you were wasted," I reminded her. "You told me you remember going to the party, talking to Richard and then nothing. Isn't that why you're not drinking this time?"

"No, that was the time before last. Last time, I got into a fight with someone who didn't _want_ to fight me. Richard had to stop me."

I shook my head in silent amazement. "Good thing you're not drinking then."

"Yep," she agreed cheerfully. "You'll just have to put up with my sober self for this evening." Then, a wicked grin crept onto her face. "That's assuming you're at the party this evening."

"Huh? Where else would I be?" I asked, confused.

She laughed. "It must be nice to be you, Holls. I'd love to see how you think."

"Thank you?"

She laughed again. "Anyway, think about it. Rune is turning sixteen today…"

"Yes, I know."

"And it's his birthday…"

"It generally is when you turn a new age."

"It's also Valentine's day…"

"I'm glad you keep track of dates so well."

"You're his girlfriend…"

"Lys, are you going to keep pointing out the obvious? Get to the point."

She smirked. "But this is so much fun."

"Lysana Malfoy," I growled. "If you don't get to the point soon, I'm leaving."

"Fine, fine," she laughed, "but you're gonna kick yourself."

"Lysana!"

She smirked again at my growing frustration. "Okay, okay, hold your broomsticks. Anyway, Rune's gonna be drunk, and you're his girlfriend…so he's gonna be more lovey than usual." She stopped.

"Was that it?"

"Are you going to make me say it? We're in a public place."

"Well, you could just drop this bizarre subject," I offered.

"Not until you get it. I'm determined now." She sighed. "Well, if he's more lovey than usual, he'll be kissing you more often…"

"Okay…"

"Merlin, Holly, you _still_ don't get it. Put it this way. Ever heard the expression 'getting carried away'?"

"Yeah…" She stared at me and, suddenly, the penny dropped. I blushed. "Oh. I get it."

"Thank Potter; I was beginning to think you'd never had the talk."

I was still blushing fiercely. "You're exaggerating," I muttered. "We've only been dating for three months."

"Some people get married on three months worth of dates."

I glared at her. "Besides, I'm only fifteen."

"You think that ever bothered anyone?" She laughed again.

I stared at her. "Lys, have you ever…?"

"My business," she told me cheerfully. Then, seeing my face, she added, "look, I'm sure nothing will happen. He'll be a perfect gentleman and we'll all have clean, good-natured fun. Quit worrying."

I shook my head. Sometimes, I wished my best friend wasn't quite so dirty-minded.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

By the time of the party, I had managed to delete the conversation from my thoughts. It was there, at the back of my mind, but every time I remembered it, I forced myself to think of something else. After all, Rune wasn't like a lot of teenage boys. We'd be fine. I did, however, neglect to wear the dress; instead, I wore jeans and a t-shirt which Lysana had classified as 'pretty nice'.

The party was in the Room of Requirement. Rune met me outside the Common Room and we were the first ones to arrive which made sense because it was Rune's party. He looked quite handsome in a bizarre mix of Muggle and wizarding clothes. Even his hair seemed extra spiky. I handed him my gift to which he smiled and gave me a kiss. I tried not to think about the conversation.

All in all, about forty people showed up. Someone, and I wasn't sure who, had managed to charm something to play music. I recognised some of the Hedgedragon songs from the Halloween ball and a few others, but that was as far as my knowledge went. A lot of people proceeded to get themselves drunk on smuggled-in Firewhisky. I was among the few who were only drinking a little.

The first two hours proceeded relatively well. I spent a lot of it with Rune, Lysana and Richard. Most of the guests did not pass a comment when they saw me- apparently, they were resigned to the fact that I would be there. That being said, most of them did their best to pretend I didn't exist as well, although Louise Pritchard stopped to say hello once or twice (her presence surprised me because I hadn't thought Rune liked her. Later, Rune informed me that he had invited her because we were 'such good mates'. It was annoying having a boyfriend with a sense of humour sometimes).

After a while, Rune was taken away by some Sixth-years to try a drinking game, I spent the time talking to Lysana and Cassius who was surprisingly sober. In fact, unlike me, he didn't drink at all. When I told him how surprised I was, he just laughed and said I shouldn't judge on appearance- he hated alcohol.

When Rune re-appeared, with Richard, he was well and truly drunk. Lysana went off wither boyfriend, whether to try and talk some soberness into him or not, I did not know. Cassius had already wandered away to talk to some other people. Rune smiled cheerfully at me and asked whether I wanted to go outside. Being quite hot, I agreed.

The corridor was deserted; it was about half-past ten and although lights-out wasn't until half-eleven on a weekend, I still found myself watching for teachers. Rune was stumbling a lot and we stopped by a spare patch of wall.

We talked about how the party was going- it was a bit hard because I was tipsy and he was at the stage of drunkenness where he would not remember his evening on the next morning. I found myself smiling at the thought of how much he was going to complain when he woke up with a hangover; all I would say is that it served him right.

He stumbled again (over what, I don't know because I was standing still- he was the one trying to move) and I caught him. He smiled at me. "You're the bess' girlfren' ever," he slurred before giving me a kiss.

Somehow, the kiss turned into something longer than it normally would have been. We stood there for a few minutes, and I was enjoying myself. I didn't even remember Lysana's 'warning'. The kiss deepened and he had his hands under my top (quite an impressive feat for one so wasted). I had my hands under his top as well and I was enjoying the feeling.

Then his hands started moving lower, and suddenly, it wasn't so fun. I tried to move his hands back up, but he wouldn't let me. My heart started beating wildly.

"Rune, stop it." My voice, rather than being the authoritative tone I wanted it to be, came out as a muffled squeak.

His hands kept moving and it felt too weird. I tried to push him away but all I managed was to move us away from the wall; he was too strong. "We could go to my room," he whispered.

"No, Rune," I squeaked.

"It's my birthday," he whined in a remarkably un-Rune like way.

"It's _my_ body," I pointed out, "and I say no. I'm not getting pregnant and I'm not ready."

"Come on, please?" That whiny tone again. His hands and lips moved faster and more roughly, digging into me when I stayed too still. I tried to move again but he slammed me into the wall. My back flared with pain.

"Rune, get off," I whispered. "Get off!" I said louder, but he kept moving. His hands moved outside the top but only to try and undo my trousers and to pull off my top. Luckily, he was too drunk to co-ordinate properly. Finally, I pushed him away. He stumbled backwards, shocked and the movement ripped the part of my top which he had been holding tightly. He glared so, without thinking, I slapped him. Speechless, he stared at me. I turned and ran away.

I couldn't go back to the party. I just couldn't. Rune had scared me; this was the boy who had been constantly getting me out of danger since the first time we met. He was the boy who always acted so nicely. He was my boyfriend, the one who always cheered me up when I was down and knew exactly what to say. Something about him seemed to rub my brother the wrong way. Maybe this was it. He had scared me. Even if he was drunk, he hadn't had the right to do that to me. Part of me had been convinced that he was going to rape me.

I did not know this side of Rune at all.

I ended up going to Ravenclaw tower. By the time I arrived, I was sobbing horrendously and it was actually a miracle that I could answer the question (it may have taken pity on me because the question was relatively easy). Furthermore, my trousers were undone, half my top was undone and some of it was ripped, so I was in a state. Everyone turned to stare at me as I stumbled into the room, attempting to brush away the tears. Most people looked away again although quite a few people moved closer, Max and Olivia among them.

Devyn immediately got up. "Holly, are you okay?" he gasped.

"Ruh-truh- party," I mumbled, trying to get a coherent sentence out.

"Shush," he whispered, putting an arm around me and onto a tender spot on my back. I froze, the memory of Rune's assault coming back to me. "What's wrong?" he asked again, noticing my change in body language. I tried to move away from him. Immediately, he understood and removed his arm. I found that I could breathe easier.

He stared at me. "Holly, did something happen at Everett's party? Um…just nod or shake your head…" he trailed off. Crying people were not his forte. I nodded. "Was it something to do with him?" I nodded.

"He hurt me," I whispered, unable to get anything else out.

"He did _what_?" Devyn asked indignantly. His eyes narrowed into a glare. "I'll kill him. I'll go and kill him, birthday or no birthday." He pulled me into his arms. I froze again. He let go, frowned and then his eyes widened. "What did he do, Holly?" he asked urgently. "Did he hit you?" I shook my head. A pause- he had clearly already known he would have to ask but he didn't want to- then: "Did he rape you?" Several heads turned at this point.

I shook my head again. "No," I mumbled, "but I thought…I thought…I thought he would tr-" I broke down into tears again.

"Shush," he said again, "you're safe now. If he even _thinks_ about coming in here, I will _kill_ him. Or better yet, I'll ask Danny to. Danny hates Everett so he'll do it quite gladly. Also," he added with a growl, "Danny hates men who try to take advantage of women. Maybe I _should _go get him…" I didn't find this very reassuring. Devyn turned his head and spotted Olivia, staring at us. "Go get Neclor," he snapped. "She needs to report this."

"No!" I gasped.

"Holly…"

"Can't we just…can't we just leave it?" I didn't have the energy to go through it again. It still hurt.

"You need to tell someone, or he'll think he can do it again," Devyn pointed out. "He might even try it on you again." I shook my head.

"Please, Devyn." I pleaded.

"Fine…" he muttered unwillingly, seeing how distressed I was becoming, "but maybe you should tell me or Sandy or someone tomorrow. It's just going to hurt if you keep it in. And you should report him."

"Can I go to bed?" I mumbled in a child-like voice.

He gave me another long look, a mix of anger and pity filling his eyes. "You don't have to ask, Holly. Just go on up. And if you get nightmares or something, you can come into our room and wake me up. The others won't object. I think Sandy and Rhian are up there as well."

As I turned to go up the stairs, I heard one of the Seventh-year boys saying to Devyn, "I know we've given her grief, but if you don't do something about that Everett guy, the rest of us will. We all heard what she said. He needs to be taught a lesson."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The next morning, the entire House had heard the vague story of what had happened- as far as everyone knew, I had gone to the party and Rune had, at some point, attempted to rape me.

For the first time in months, the Ravenclaws were on my side. As soon as I woke up, Rhian and Sandy were waiting for me. We headed down to breakfast with not less than fifteen people nearby. That being said, I couldn't make myself stomach more than one piece of toast.

I had dreamt about the assault that night, and I had woken up screaming. The only reason no one had heard me was because I had been screaming into my pillow.

The Slytherins found themselves being the victims of several insults. Rune received the worst of it- by the time breakfast was over, he had been sent to the Hospital Wing with a broken nose from Danny (Devyn had been serious in his threat about telling his brother. It had taken three other Gryffindors to stop the brawny boy from doing worse damage).

At some point during the day, I told my three friends exactly what had happened, and they were still angry. In fact, Rhian had gotten up later (in the library) and, spotting Lysana sitting with a girl from the year below her, slapped her. I pointed out that it wasn't Lysana's fault but she merely replied that Lysana had made no effort to make sure I was okay today.

Of course, Lysana then wanted to know why she was being attacked and, also, why I looked as though I was about to break down- she hadn't heard what had happened yet. Rhian spat the story at her. To my friends' surprise, Lysana instantly became angry. She, too, threatened to kill Rune in far more imaginative methods than Devyn. When she spotted Richard, a moment later, he bore some of her wrath until he knew the story. He sided with her.

Perhaps what hurt the most was that Rune appeared to have no recollection of the night before. He found me sitting with some of the others at dinner and tried to talk to me. When Devyn told him to 'sod off or I will kill you and I won't even make it look like an accident', he asked what he had done in his usual, amused voice. He only narrowly avoided a spell before he scuttled away again.

At some point, Lysana told him what had happened. I don't know when she told him but on Tuesday morning, I received my birthday present to him, a flower and a note written in his neat calligraphy and devoid of his usual manner.

_Dear Holly,_

_I am so, so sorry. I don't know how to write down how sorry I am, but I will give it a try._

_Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm an idiot. I'm worse than an idiot- I'm a bastard. I'm… is there a word bad enough to describe me? Ask McDonald- I'm sure he can fill it in for me._

_I was completely wasted that night. That doesn't make it better, I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I'd never, ever want to hurt you. I thought Lysana was lying when she told me but it made sense. Tell McDonald (the Gryffindor) that if I had known, I would have let him continue attacking me. I deserve it._

_What makes it worse is that I don't even remember hurting you. I can barely bear to write that, but it's true. That's the stupid part. I can't even __remember__ being a monster. If you never want to come near me, I will understand._

_Argh, what the hell was I thinking? I can't believe I even __thought__ about that. From what I've heard, it sounds like I tried to rape you. Oh Merlin that was…how could I even THINK about doing that? I'm a monster. I'm a bloody idiot. _

_I'm really sorry. I can't imagine how much this must be hurting you. Why didn't you report me? If it was out of some loyalty to me, forget it. I didn't deserve it. I still don't._

_Holly, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me (corny but true) and I've blown it. In a big way. A stupid way. I bet there are grade-O morons who could blow it in a smarter way than me. I will understand completely if you never come near me again. _

_I am so, so, sorry._

_From,_

_Rune Jakobus Everett._

_P.S. I am going to report myself to Professor Chappell. It's the least I deserve._

* * *

_**A/N: I am aware that there will be a huge amount of people who will be angry at me for writing this. Rune is a favourite among a lot of you, i know. I nearly decided not to include this because of that. However, you must remember that Rune is a Slytherin and whilst this does not make him an inherently bad person, it means he has some qualities associated with his House- such as seizing oppurtunities which is what he tried to do because he was so drunk. All i ask is that you bear with me. This incident will be very important in a few of the later chapters and if you're really mad, tell me. Thank you.**_


	18. In the Office of the Headmaster

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, don't own Flemish Proverbs

Geth342: Sorry to anyone who looked for the update yesterday. I mixed up dates with my History exam, which was yesterday.

Thank you to everyone for not getting mad at me. I had a horrible feeling i'd get very angry readers but no one got overly mad so i think it's safe to say i feel better. Anyway, my next update...isn't in 10 days, let's put it like that. I would say around the 26th but i can't guarantee it, due to exams, coursework and debating. Still, i hope you enjoy. This chapter was hard to write so let me know how you think it went :)

Chapter 18: In the Office of the Headmaster.

Rune reported himself after lessons on that Tuesday.

My friends had been begging me to report him since Sunday but I couldn't. Not yet. It was not out of some sense of loyalty, as he claimed, but out of fear. The memory of the attack was still fresh in my mind and it had been hard enough to tell them about it the first time. If I reported him, then I would have to keep talking about it and remembering it, and I would have to face him. I wasn't sure I was ready for that.

The problem was that, by Tuesday morning, pretty much the entire school knew about it, through gossip. I received many sympathetic glances and people stopped insulting me for once. Rune, on the other hand, could barely walk anywhere without being sneered at. However, this meant that all the teachers had probably heard as well.

This proved to be true in Herbology. I was sat as far away from Rune as the rest of my House could get me; which probably confirmed Professor Zettel's fears. Rather than making us pair up and do practical work, she made us make notes for the lesson. This appeared to be improvised as the first plant we had to make notes on was one which we had done in second-year, the next was one we wouldn't do until NEWT and it took her five extra minutes to find one which was suitable for OWL level. She also made sure the Ravenclaws left first.

At break, I stood with Dev and the girls, as well as Max and Olivia who 'happened' to be nearby. Lysana spotted us and came over without as much as a glance at Rhian (who had drawn her wand just in case), whilst I had the letter out to show the others.

"Hey," she murmured. "I came to see how you're doing."

I shrugged. "I'm here, I guess."

"Malfoy, why are you here?" Rhian interjected aggressively.

"I just said: to see how Holly's doing. She _is_ my best friend, you know."

"Yeah, and Everett was her boyfriend and you can see how _that_ turned out. So forgive us if we aren't too convinced by that argument," Devyn sneered.

To my surprise, Lysana did not get mad. "Fair enough," she said and handed him her wand. "Hold on to that, please. Now I can't hurt her…not that I would. Anyway, did I tell you that I told Rune? He doesn't even remember it." She tutted.

"I know. He sent me a letter." I showed her the letter. She looked at it critically.

"That explains what he was working on last night then. He kept ripping up paper. I notice he doesn't mention exactly what I said."

"What did you say to him?" This question was asked by Sandy who was looking at her in what seemed to be a whole new light.

"I had a go at him," she replied cheerfully. "I went right up to him and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing." She paused for a moment. "No, wait. First I thumped him. _Then_ I asked him why the hell he thought he could rape you."

"What was his response?" Devyn asked curiously.

"Uh…he asked me if I had lost my mind actually." At this, Devyn shook his head angrily. "So I told him that if I had lost my mind, then his must have run away because I wasn't the one who had attempted to rape anyone."

"Bet he took that well."

"Yeah, not really. He asked me what everyone's problem was today so I said 'I just told you- no one likes people who attempt to rape their girlfriends or other women'." She pulled a face. "That's when he finally twigged. And he said he couldn't remember it.

"I got a bit angry then. Well, angrier. I told him that Richard didn't remember half of Saturday night either and the reason for that was because he was wasted. But he and Holly had left at some point and only Rune had ever returned. And that he was annoyed about something for the rest of the evening." She smiled suddenly, a savage smile. "So then I had a proper go at him." Her face softened suddenly in complete contrast to the savage smile. "He got really upset actually. I'm not sure he's slept in two days."

"Good," Rhian spat. "Neither has Holly." I looked at her, confused. After all, I had had some sleep. Seeing my look, she explained, "We've seen you shifting about and muttering soundlessly into your pillow." Her eyes hardened. "And you talk in your sleep now, did you know that?" I shook my head. "Always the same things: 'Rune, no. Please, don't. No, I'm not ready.'" She looked away. "I can't _believe_ he's feeling sorry for himself."

I looked at the floor, slightly ashamed. Every night, I had dreamt about the assault but it seemed pathetic. Surely I should have gotten over it by now- I had escaped so everything was fine, right? Yet I still dreamed about it and I would still recall it at random moments. The bruise from where he slammed me into the wall didn't help. Nor did the marks on my upper body where he had gripped me too tightly.

To get attention away from me, I said the first thing in my head: "I can't believe what you said came true though, sort of." Lysana looked confused so I added, "at the Three Broomsticks."

Her expression cleared. "Oh, that. Holly, I was joking," she said anxiously. "I didn't actually think he would try anything or if he did it would…you know…be mutually consensual."

"What are you two talking about?" Sandy asked curiously.

"Oh," I blushed. "Um…well, on Saturday, in the Three Broomsticks, Lysana and I were talking and uh…" I trailed off.

"I was making a joke," Lysana said bravely. "I was teasing Holly by saying that she and Rune would go off and do it. I didn't actually… I didn't know…I…"

"It's alright," Sandy said kindly. "I don't think anyone expected it."

The bell rang, making us jump. Lysana held out her hand and after a moment, Devyn returned the wand. We went our separate ways; us to Potions and Lysana to History of Magic.

The day progressed normally- I did the work (and was grateful we didn't have Charms) – and tried to look a bit less pathetic. It wasn't until we had dinner that anything happened.

As soon as we finished eating, Professor Neclor came over to us and informed us that Professor Longbottom wanted to see me, Devyn, Olivia, Sandy and Rhian. On the table next to us, I spotted Professor Chappell sending Lysana, Richard, Cassius and a few other Slytherins out of the hall. They, too, were headed to Longbottom's office.

The teachers gave the password and we all walked into the office. Rune was sat there, opposite Professor Longbottom, as well as my parents and Rune's parents. The headmaster conjured up more seats and we all sat down. Neclor and Chappell were told to stay as well as they were in charge of the students involved.

My parents instantly tried to get up and hug me, asking me if I was okay whilst glaring at Rune. Mr. and Mrs. Everett looked completely ashamed. I felt myself blushing again. Before anything could be said though, Longbottom asked us all to sit down. I sat as far away from Rune as I could. I still did not wish to face him.

The headmaster then went on to inform us that the students had been called because we were the people primarily involved with the incident which Rune had informed him about- the assault on me- whilst my and Rune's parents had the right to know what was going on. I wondered, vaguely, why Olivia and the other two girls had been called and then realised that in some of the more detailed stories, Olivia's participation as being told to get Neclor had been mentioned, and the fact that Sandy and Rhian were my friends would mean that they would know more about the story than most people. Why were some of the Slytherins here though?

"Miss Carew, could you please tell me what happened on the night of 14th February?" he began formally, sounding like a policeman. I stiffened.

"Okay," I mumbled, taking a breath. I had only told this story once- to my Ravenclaw friends. "I was at Rune's birthday party and I was… a bit tipsy. Rune and Richard went off for a drinking game and came back really drunk." I stopped.

"Go on," he encouraged.

I took another breath. This part wasn't hard. It was the part afterwards. "Lysana went off with Richard so I was left with Rune. He said he was hot so we went outside the Room…uh, the Room of Requirement, that's where it was…" I was babbling, desperately trying to put off the next part.

"What happened next?" he asked kindly.

"We walked for a bit down the hall but he was stumbling a lot so we stopped. No one was about. I think it was half-ten." I paused again and glanced nervously behind me. The Slytherins looked curious as did Olivia. Rune wore no expression. My friends were looking away; they seemed to feel awkward. My parents were looking a bit distressed and I felt sorry for them- in one way or another, both of their children had been hurt in Hogwarts.

"Did you mind?"

I blushed. "No, I kissed him back. And then he… I mean I…he got rough."

"How so?" His round face was calm. I opened my mouth and then closed it uselessly. In my head, I could see his face in front of me and I could feel his hands, too rough, too fast…

"Professor Longbottom, I told you what happened," Rune said stiffly, startling everyone. He was looking straight ahead. "Don't you think it's bad enough that I had to put her through it once? She shouldn't have to live through it again. If you need to double-check, ask her friends- I know she told them. But don't make her suffer again for something I did."

He looked at him coolly, a spark of the child-hero he had been showing through. "It's better if I hear it from her. To make sure."

"You think I'd lie about something this bad to put _myself_ in trouble?" Rune asked incredulously. "In front of my parents? And hers?"

"But you don't remember what happened, or so you say."

"Well, ask McDonald then, or Pierce. But don't make Holly go through it again. Look at her, sir. She's distressed." Everyone's gaze shifted to me. I looked at the floor.

"You seem very protective of a girl you claim to have attacked."

He rolled his eyes scornfully. "Of course I'm protective. I'm the jerk who hurt her. What kind of a statement is that?"

"Rune," his father began, "you're already in trouble. Would you mind showing some respect for once?"

"It's alright," Professor Longbottom said and I could see some admiration in his eyes. "Mr. Everett is trying to get his point across. Okay, but we still have a problem. I need to hear what Holly has to say but I don't want to 'distress' her as you say…" Rune opened his mouth. "And the reason for hearing this is because the best case of the story will come from the person who was there and remembers it best. Anyway, we need a solution."

"I have an idea," Cassius and Richard said at the same time and then laughed; a surprisingly normal sound for the situation. After a moment of discussion, Richard let Cassius go first. I had a feeling that this was because the large boy was infamous for having bad ideas which he truly believed would work and for, often, trying to act them out. It would inject some humour into the situation.

Cassius smiled. "What if Professor Longbottom said what he thought had happened and then Holly could say if it's true or not, and add in any extra parts if she needs to?" There was silence for a moment as everyone stared at him. It was a surprisingly good idea.

Longbottom nodded and then asked Richard for his idea. Richard shrugged and said that if I went outside and told Longbottom the story, it might be easier. The Headmaster thought for a moment and then decided to put the two ideas together; I would go outside with someone who would listen and take the story back. My parents volunteered but he asked Professor Neclor. We got up and left, ignoring the eyes staring at us.

Once outside, he smiled kindly at me, drew his wand and muttered something. Then he told me to tell him what had happened, adding that I could say it as quickly as I wanted because he had used a spell to record my voice for a set amount of time, and slow it down if needs be.

I took a deep breath and, as quickly as I could, told him what had happened from Rune's kiss to going to bed. It helped to say it quickly because then I only had time to remember events and then I had to say them. When I finished, Neclor gave me another smile before slipping back into the room. I stayed outside, trying to think about other things.

After a few minutes, I was invited back inside. My parents and Rune's parents were now looking very distressed. My mother lifted a hand, as though to reach out to me, but dropped it again with a hopeless look on her face.

"Well, your story matches up mostly, apart from one or two extra details," Longbottom said when I sat down. "My next question is: why didn't you tell a teacher?"

I looked down. "I… I couldn't face it. It was just painful." I blushed again- an increasingly common reaction for me. "It's just, I really liked Rune and then he did that and I couldn't, well, I didn't want to…" I stopped. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I know it's stupid. I mean, he didn't even rape me or really hurt me. It just scares me to remember it."

Longbottom nodded understandingly. "That isn't unreasonable, especially as this was a few days ago. What was your reaction to Mr. Everett going to be; if you weren't going to report him and he didn't remember?"

I thought for a moment. "I was going to avoid him as much as possible," I admitted sheepishly. "I didn't really want to be near him."

"Okay, Miss Carew. Why did you tell your friends but not a teacher?"

"I came into the Common Room and Devyn saw me. I was crying and, I think my clothes were a bit ripped. Devyn sort of guessed what had happened and he agreed not to tell a teacher as long as I told him, Sandy and Rhian. I didn't want to go through all this."

"Why not?"

"Professor Longbottom," Rune interrupted for the second time. "She just told you. She didn't want to remember it. And you're making her remember it now. Could we stop distressing her?"

He gave Rune a mildly curious glance. "You seem very keen to put yourself in trouble," he noted. He turned to me. "One last question, Miss Carew. Can you say, honestly, that everything you said is the truth?"

"Yes." I stared at him. "How could you…why would you…why would I lie about this?" I could barely get the words out in my disbelief. Behind me, my friends were all muttering indignantly.

Suddenly, Chappell started laughing. We turned to stare at him. He held up his wand, around which a green light was pulsing. "It's alright, Neville," he said cheerfully. "I took the liberty of performing a truth-spell. Everything said so far has been the truth."

All the adults (except my parents) stared at him disbelievingly. Eventually, Neclor said, "Hector, you do know it's illegal to do that spell without asking the people being tested for their permission, right?"

He shrugged. "Yes, but I thought someone should do it." Neclor still looked astonished so he sighed. "Very well. Students, do I have your permission to perform this spell?"

"What does it do, sir?" one of the Slytherins asked.

"It's a new and very complex spell," he answered. "It pulses red if the speaker is lying, green if they're telling the truth and yellow if they're mistaken but believe they're telling the truth. The last part is very hard to do so whether it will work, I don't know. Anyway, the light is green so either Miss Carew has been telling the truth…or she's mistaken but thinks she's telling the truth, if my spell isn't working properly."

Everyone gave their permission, including me and Rune. Mr. Everett, however, did not look impressed. He frostily informed Chappell that he was an Auror and could arrest him for this. The teacher pointed out that his son was currently being interrogated about a crime and if he was arrested for using the spell, then Rune would have to be too. As it was, the matter was currently under the school's jurisdiction.

Longbottom seemed to have given up on the rights and wrongs of the situation, for he merely nodded and decided to stop questioning me. He turned his attention to Devyn and asked him to describe exactly what had happened when I showed up and double-checked it with Olivia. He asked the other two Ravenclaws a few questions as well, about how I had been in school. To my embarrassment, Rhian mentioned my new sleeping habit.

He then asked the Slytherins about what had happened at the party after we had left and about how Rune had acted. I hadn't heard this before. Lysana and Cassius said that Rune had come back drunk and annoyed, but also slightly guilty. He wouldn't tell anyone what the problem was exactly, but when Lysana had asked where I was, Rune had muttered something about me running away and how he hadn't deserved it. But when Richard had asked, (Richard had drunkenly relayed this information to Cassius later in the party) he had said that he had done something which offended me and I had left in disgust.

The other Slytherins talked about the party as well, and then went on to talk about how Rune had acted before and after Lysana had told him (I noticed that Lysana did not mention her thumping Rune). It was basically as Lysana had said- he had been puzzled as to why everyone was against him before, and afterwards, he had been upset. One scrawny fourth-year commented that some of his ripped-up letters included offers to beat him up and arrest him. A sixth-year added that on Sunday evening, after he had been told, the girl had come back from finishing an essay very late, to see Rune sitting, staring at the fire. When she had spoken to him, he wasn't listening. He appeared to be completely preoccupied but his face was unusually sad.

After hearing all of this, Longbottom, left the room for thirty minutes, to think. No one spoke, although my parents looked like they wanted to. Occasionally, the others would turn and smile at each other. Rune sat as he had for the entire time- stiff-backed, fists clenched, looking straight ahead. He looked completely different to usual.

Eventually, Professor Longbottom walked back in and sat down again. He looked at us solemnly.

"I've listened to everything and I don't think any of you have lied," he began. "This is a very serious incident. However, I have decided not to hand it over to the Aurors." There was a sigh of relief from Rune's parents. No one else looked impressed. Rune did not move. "The reason for this is because I am very impressed with the way Mr. Everett has owned up. He did not have to- the main of this relies on Miss Carew's testimony and he could easily have claimed that she was lying- but he came forward when he saw that neither Miss Carew, or her friends, would. That took a great deal of courage and, I feel, shows how badly he feels about this incident.

"Furthermore, Mr. Everett has a very good record- apart from being rude on occasion, he behaves well. This attack seems to be something brought on by alcohol and although I don't condone this, I understand that he was barely in control of his actions that night."

"What is said when drunk has been thought out beforehand," Devyn muttered, quoting some old proverb.

"Alcohol also brings out very hostile and primitive reactions, Mr. McDonald. It is my opinion that Mr. Everett did not mean to harm Miss Carew. He drunkenly started a situation which span out of control. He was responsible for being in this condition and I have taken that into consideration. However, I have been assured that this is the only drunk incident that he has had which has resulted in his doing something negative.

"Having considered this, I have decided that Mr. Everett will be suspended from Hogwarts for one month. No students will contact him- I leave this to his parents to make sure it does not happen- and he may not contact any students here. In addition, when he returns, he will be on a Final Warning: if I hear of any wrong-doing, he will face severe consequences, including possible expulsion or, if the situation requires, referral to the Ministry. When he returns, I may place him on compulsory counselling. Finally, he cannot try for the Quidditch Team, any other privileges and will not be considered for Head Boy. Are you willing to accept this Mr. Everett?"

"Yes, sir," he replied, just as stiffly as before.

"Okay. And Miss Carew?" He looked at me. "In addition, you are to take counselling sessions with Professor Rowland until she says you can stop. I don't want you to keep suffering the way your friends say you do. This should help, okay?" His eyes were kinder. I nodded, mutely.

"And why shouldn't we remove her from your school?" Mum said suddenly, speaking for the first time since I had come in. "I understand that this isn't the safest place but if this young man hadn't been so drunk that my daughter could push him away, it could have resulted in rape. What kind of a place do you run here?"

"Mrs. Carew," Neclor answered for the teacher, "if I may? It is true that Holly has been in undue danger in this school. Perhaps more than she would have been in the mug- er, your world. But we are trying our best to keep every student safe, and anyone who harms her is currently under very strict punishment rules. In response to this, Hogwarts is safer than your average street. Holly has a higher chance of being raped outside this school than in it."

"But she's not outside this school," my dad pointed out through clenched teeth. "She's in it."

"Sir," Rune interjected tiredly, "I think you should leave it to Holly. I'm very sorry but-"

"You can shut it right now," Dad growled angrily, "before I lose all my self-control and murder you myself."

Rune shut up.

"Dad," I said hesitantly, "I don't want to leave Hogwarts. At least, not yet." He looked at me, startled. "I want to do my exams and…well, what am I going to do at home? You can't teach me magic and it's too late for me to do normal school. Maybe after this year."

He frowned unhappily but Mum beat him to the chase. "If she thinks it's best then, I guess…" She looked equally unhappy. "We can give the school one last chance. But I am NOT impressed." She directed this comment towards Longbottom, who looked slightly chastised.

Neclor smiled graciously. "Your complaint will be logged, Mrs. Carew."

"Mr. Everett, you will pack your bags, come back to this office and leave by floo. Then I do not expect to see you in this castle until the evening of the 17th March. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," he replied absently.

"Professor Chappell, could you go with Mr. Everett?" Chappell nodded. "And Mr. and Mrs. Carew, if you would like to leave now, I'll arrange it." My parents nodded. They turned back to me and hugged me. Both of them told me that if I had any more trouble at all, they would come and get me and then added that they loved me. Finally, they left.

By this point, all the Slytherins and Olivia had left. Neclor exited with me, Devyn and the girls.

As we walked, I thought about everything that had happened. I seemed to be constantly being attacked and I never seemed to defend myself. Not for the first time, I wished I had the guts to stand up for myself.

Through all of this, I had lost Rune. As soon as I thought of him, a feeling of repulsion washed through me; I still could not work out how he could do that to me. But then I remembered that he had owned up to it when he had heard. He had done what I could not.

Sometimes, I had been unsure why we even went out- there were times when I thought of him as no more than a friend but then there were others where I could not imagine myself without him. He kept me from being too serious and down-trodden.

But he had hurt me. I couldn't forget that despite all he had done, he had hurt me.

"At least you don't have to avoid him for a month," Rhian said as we sat down in armchairs.

"He should have gotten worse," Devyn grunted.

"Well, like Rhi said, he's not here for a month." Sandy smiled at me as she said this. I smiled weakly back. Even though I was glad that he was gone, part of me felt hollow at the thought of him going. And I couldn't explain why.


	19. About That Boy

Disclaimer: If i owned Harry Potter, i wouldn't have had to do my exams because i'd be rich. But, there you go.

Note: Despite being from a family full of psychiatrists and whatnot, i actually don't know how a therapy session would go like, hence the unrealisticness. Please bear with it and don't tell me it's unrealistic because i already know :) Cheers.

Geth342: Thanks for putting up with me and the long update time. Although this chapter isn't really worth the wait- i've definitely done better- but i hope you all enjoy regardless. I only have coursework now until May but this may require a lot of time on a computer. However, next update will be on 5th February hopefully, so not too bad. Anyway, enjoy :)

Chapter 19: About That Boy

By Wednesday afternoon, the entire school had somehow heard about what had happened in the office and, wherever I walked, I was greeted by 'you alright, Carew?' or 'don't worry, we'll look after you when he gets back'. I was not impressed by these sentiments. The student body of Hogwarts appeared to be very fickle; just a few days before, they would have greeted me with glares.

I received a note telling me to go to the Learning Support department on Thursday evening for my first counselling session. I was not exactly sure what was going to be in this session and I was surprised that my parents had not objected; one of my mum's most common hates were of psychiatrists. But, for some reason, they chose to remain silent. I wondered whether it had something to do with the fact that Rowland and Zac had been friends in school and had even dated.

Charms on that Wednesday afternoon was strange. Danny and Jenny actually came up to me so that Danny could say if Rune ever tried anything like that again, I should tell him and he would 'pound the hell out of that jerk'. I nodded numbly and thanked him, but I wasn't very reassured. I wasn't even sure I wanted someone to beat Rune up.

And Professor Langtree had started staring at me again. Although, at least this time I knew it wasn't because of my brother.

What was quite interesting was that no one tried to bring up the assault with me- they would murmur sympathies but never refer to it directly. I was not overly inclined to mention it either as I just wanted to forget that it had ever happened.

On Thursday, in Arithmancy, Lysana decided to have a strange conversation with me. There was something more to it than she said, I was sure, but she would not tell me what.

"You know, the Common Room's quite quiet without him," she murmured as we scribbled away at the assigned problems. My hand stiffened momentarily but I carried on writing.

"He'll be back soon," I replied in a voice which was supposed to be neutral but came out slightly shrill. I looked at my work, only to find that I had scratched a deep hole in my sum.

She nodded. "Yeah, but…" She trailed off for a moment. Then: "Hey, Holly, do you remember in first-year, when we argued?"

I thought for a moment. "Um…yeah. Wasn't it something like the girls in your dorm bullied you and when I tried to talk to you, they beat me up?"

She smiled. "Yeah, that's the time. And then Rune forged those letters to get us back together? How he did it, with that bloody neat handwriting, I don't know."

I allowed myself a smile. "Yeah, I thought something was off about your handwriting and now I know. It was neater than that scrawl." I gestured to her work.

She laughed cheerfully, pleased to see me acting normally. "Your handwriting isn't exactly brilliant."

"Better than yours," I laughed. She smiled. "Why did you bring that up?" I queried after it looked like she would not continue.

She shrugged. "Just thinking…it's not important. I wanted to see if you remembered is all."

"You're being weird," I muttered, "do you know that?"

She flashed a grin at me. "Did you expect anything else?" Then the teacher told the pair of us to be quiet and we got back to work. All the time, I wondered exactly why she had brought that up.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I ended up having to ask Sephy where the Learning Support room was because I had never been there and only had a vague idea of where it was. She looked slightly suspicious as she told me, possibly scared that I, too, needed help and that her education was in jeopardy. I considered telling her the actual reason for my trip but refrained on the basis that she might then think I was a lunatic which would be even less reassuring.

I turned up at seven o'clock, as I had been told. After she let me in, Rowland went to sit by the teacher's desk and I sat on a chair opposite her. The room had less tables and chairs than a normal one, and a few pictures, but was otherwise no different. She greeted me as I sat down.

"I didn't know you did counselling," I said and then thought for a moment. "Is there anything you can't do? It seems like you do everything."

She smiled. "Thanks, Holly. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I was younger so I trained in counselling and teaching. As for learning Welsh, I had an interest after meeting your brother. I don't know why I learnt it although I'm certainly not fluent. Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. Holly, do you know why you're here?"

I thought about it. "Because Professor Longbottom told me to come?"

"Yes, and?"

"Because I'm having some trouble after the, er, incident?"

"Exactly." She smiled gently at me. "It's not uncommon to feel traumatized after something like this. Especially with the year you've been having. So, I'm going to help you deal with it."

"Okay…" I said, for lack of any other suitable response.

"So, first things first," she said, suddenly business-like. "I notice you called it the 'incident'. Now, to help you get over it, I'm going to try and get you to admit to it."

"Huh?"

"You need to say, out loud, what happened. You need to face it."

"I already said it twice," I pointed out, stalling for time.

"Yes, but you said it very quickly and I don't think you let yourself think about it properly, did you?" I shook my head. "You don't have to tell me everything- that will come later. But, for now, see if you can just say what happened. What did Rune Everett do?"

"He, uh, he…" I opened and closed my mouth like a fish. I didn't want to say it. It was humiliating and painful.

"You can do it, Holly," she encouraged. "Just take a deep breath."

I took a deep breath and tried again. "He…he came up to me and…" I couldn't make myself say the next words. The whole situation was too embarrassing to admit.

"Come on, Holly," she tried again. "If you don't say it, then you'll let this incident get the better of you. You're a strong girl. You can do it."

"No, I can't," I replied angrily. "I can't say it. I don't want to." I sounded like a brat but I could not help it. She didn't know what it was like. I wasn't as strong as some people. Someone stronger would not have had this happen to them to begin with. And someone stronger would have been able to say it straight away. I blushed with anger and shame.

She sighed. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Okay, we'll start somewhere else then. I don't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. So, how have you been sleeping?"

"Not very well," I replied without thinking, thrown by this turn of conversation.

"And why's that?"

"I…I dream about it sometimes."

"I see. What do you dream exactly?" She sounded calm.

Could I talk about my dream? It wasn't reality so…maybe if I edited it. "I dream I'm in the corridor again and he's with me. And he starts it again but it goes further. And just as it's about to get worse, I wake up." I was being vague but she seemed to understand that by 'getting worse' I meant being raped.

"And what do you think about Rune Everett?"

"He's changed," I replied instantly, this being the best way to sum him up.

"Has he?" she asked. "How?"

"He would never have done that before."

"Ah, but would he have owned up to it before?"

"Huh?" I said, thrown.

"Let's say he has changed. You say he wouldn't have hurt you before. But, maybe, he would never have owned up before either. Maybe his potential to hurt isn't the only thing that changed."

"You're talking in riddles," I complained.

"But do you see what I mean?" She replied, smiling. I thought about it for a moment. Maybe she had a point. If he had changed in one way, it was possible that he had changed in another.

"I guess so," I muttered. "But he wouldn't have had to own up if he hadn't done it to begin with."

"No, and he shouldn't have done it," she agreed gravely, "But the fact is he did and he owned up. Would you say it makes him a bad person?"

I shrugged uncertainly. "I guess not."

She smiled. "So, jumping topics again-" She seemed to do that a lot. "- you and Rune dated for a while, didn't you?" I nodded. "And who asked who?"

This, at least, was safe ground. "He did. He asked me at Halloween Ball."

"And you said yes immediately?"

"No." The answer was out before I thought about it. "I just sort of stuttered and then he used the tone of voice that always makes me want to prove him wrong. So I said yes."

She raised an eyebrow. "I see," she murmured. "And what did you feel about him when you were dating?"

"This feels like an interrogation," I muttered wryly. "I feel like saying 'I didn't do it'."

She laughed warmly. "Fair enough. If you want, you can discuss your saying yes a little more."

"No, no, it's alright," I assured her. Anything to get away from the subject of the assault. Although this was quite uncomfortable too. "He was…nice."

She waited for a while and then, when I did not elaborate, she said, "Anything else?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes he felt like a friend but sometimes, I really liked him. He sort of centred me." I pulled a face at the ridiculous description.

"So, you could almost say he liked you more than you liked him."

I glared at her. "No. I wouldn't have done what he did for one thing. How do you know how much he liked me anyway?"

"So he did it on purpose?" she asked, unperturbed by my sudden anger. "Rune Everett decided to attack you on purpose, because he didn't like you as much?"

"That's not what I said," I snapped. "He wouldn't have planned it."

"How can you be so sure?" she murmured.

"Because Rune wouldn't have it in him to rape me if he was in control." I was so furious, the words popped out without me thinking. Her eyes gleamed with triumph.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" she asked. "What did he do to you?"

"He…attacked me." Now that I was thinking about it, I was a bit less willing to say what happened. And to admit that what I had just said might have been true.

"I see." She said nothing else. We sat in silence for a while. I kept waiting for her to say something but she just smiled at me. I didn't want to be the one to speak but this silence was worse. Maybe, if I just said it…how bad could it be? I had to face up to it sometime. I took a deep breath and looked down at the floor.

"Rune Everett...." My voice went dry so I licked my lips and tried again. "Rune Everett attacked me," I mumbled. "Rune attempted to rape me."

"Pardon?"

I looked up. "Rune attempted to rape me," I stated in a slow voice. As soon as I said it, the hurt washed back and I could remember it- the feeling of being trapped, of being slammed into the wall. But, this time it was different. Because it felt like it was happening to someone else. As though I was stronger because I had said it- it hadn't killed me; nothing bad had happened. But I still remembered, and my eyes filled up with tears.

"Well done, Holly," she said gleefully.

"He shouldn't have done it," I whispered, wiping an eye so that I wouldn't cry. "Even though he was drunk. He…I didn't deserve that." Then a horrible thought struck me. After all the lying I had done, maybe I did deserve it. Maybe it was karma. "Did I?"

"No one deserves that," Rowland said gravely. "You were extremely brave to fight back against him." She glanced at her watch. "We've been talking for a while. We've only covered the basic ground and we haven't got long left… so I'm just going to finish with this. Are you glad Rune has been suspended?"

"Yes," I answered immediately.

"Why?"

"Because he hurt me."

She nodded. "Alright. And are you glad to have lost him as a friend?"

"Ye- no." I changed my answer halfway through.

"Why not?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I've never met anyone quite like him. I guess I'll miss that." That wasn't all I would miss, I thought. I would miss the laughter and easy teasing of someone who knew me well enough to do it. I would miss the arrogance that came as a part of him: irritating but just another thing that made him Rune. But I didn't want to say all that.

"Okay," she nodded. "I'll see you again next week and we'll pick up the discussion from here. Just think about it, alright?"

"Yes, Professor," I muttered. "Thank you." I got up. She opened her mouth as though she were about to say something else, but then she closed it. I left.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rhian was curious about what had gone on in the therapy but I wasn't particularly keen to divulge. In fairness, part of her curiosity probably came from the fact that my eyes were red, as I had rubbed them a lot to stop myself from crying. However, I said that I didn't really want to talk about it and she left it at that. Sandy listened to all of this in silence and, at the end she gave me a very curious stare. It reminded me that she had my secret about going to Hogsmeade.

The next day was even more bizarre; Professor Langtree told me to stay behind at the end of the lesson for apparently unknown reasons. Devyn did not look very happy about leaving me alone (with the exception of himself, Danny and Max, he now did not trust anyone male to be near me) but he couldn't exactly argue with a teacher so he waited outside, along with Max- who was now talking to me, albeit slightly grudgingly- and the girls. I stood up and waited, but he gestured for me to come further down into the room. I did as I was told, wondering whether I would get in trouble if I turned around and ran for it.

As soon as I was close enough, he looked to the left of me. Without looking directly at me he began to murmur in a voice just loud enough for me to catch it.

He informed me that he had gone to see my brother and that as he was somewhat less strict about teacher protocol, he was going to arrange for the school gate to be open at six o'clock on Saturday and nine o'clock. He would also make sure that he was the teacher on duty then, in order to minimise the chance that I would be caught.

I attempted to keep on top of all this sudden planning- when had Langtree gone from making little hints about my brother to happily consorting with him?- by pointing out that I wasn't in a position to escape from my friends. I considered gesturing to the door to prove my point but common sense caught up with me so I settled for flicking my head to the right briefly. Luckily, he seemed to catch my drift.

Unfortunately, his answer wasn't so great. He told me that it was my problem, which was true I supposed, but I felt he could have been a little more helpful. I muttered this under my breath but he heard it and informed me- with such a wicked, youthful grin that I could almost imagine how he must have looked like when he was my age- that he wasn't supposed to be helpful. After all, what did I think a teacher _did_?

I left the room feeling half-grateful towards him and half-irritated. And my brother criticized _my_ choice in friends. Then again, none of his best friends had attempted to rape him so maybe he had a point. Although, some of them must have been against him in that battle…

Devyn asked me what Langtree had wanted to speak with me about and I said the first thing which came into my head- the quality of my homework. This was a bad choice because Charms was my strongest subject so the quality of my homework was actually quite good. When Rhian pointed this out, I said that he just wanted to commend me on my last homework and tell me that if I had any trouble doing it because of the assault, I should tell him. It wasn't a great lie but no one decided to push it further. Sandy did give me an odd look, and I wondered whether she had guessed.

To my surprise, the perfect excuse for Saturday evening came to me easily; I claimed that I was going to meet Lysana in the library. Everyone instantly offered to accompany me but I said that I would go by myself. They all looked surprised and Devyn looked like he might argue but Sandy then said that this was a good sign, so I should go. From there, it was easy to sneak out to the gate; there were no teachers nearby and the gate was open, as promised.

Once again, Zac met me. This time, he had charmed himself to look a bit like Professor Langtree, but the hair was a floppy grey instead of brown in a quiff, and the scar was missing. There were a few other subtle differences but that was it. To me, however, he looked more like my brother than Langtree. There was just some air about him that he could not extinguish with magic.

As before, we headed to the cave, although Zac did not pretend to be my boyfriend this time. Instead, he charmed me to look invisible so that, when people saw us, they only saw the floppy-haired wizard. He did not say a word to me as we walked, but the moment we sat down in the cave, he took the charm off me and without saying hello, asked me how I was.

"I'm fine, thanks," I said, puzzled. "And you?"

He pulled a face. "For someone who nearly got raped last week, you sound remarkably perky," he informed me dryly.

"Oh. You heard." I looked away. I hadn't been planning on telling him.

"I heard," he agreed. "Tammy told me." I had to think for a moment, to remember who Tammy was. Professor Rowland. Of course. "And Seifer confirmed it." This one took me a little while longer until I remembered that Seifer was Professor Langtree. "I never liked that boy. Why didn't he get a prison sentence?"

"He owned up," I answered in what was supposed to be a nonchalant voice. "It was quite brave of him."

"Sod bravery," Zac spat. "When that boy gets back, you can tell him that if he so much as thinks about laying a finger on you without your permission, he can report me to the Ministry because I _will_ murder him. And in a more painful way than Reaver and Adam Etasyl were killed."

"What about Luke Borallis?" I asked. This man had been killed three days before. No one had commented on it because I was already in distress and, for once, the student population had decided to acknowledge this. However, it meant that I only found out that day.

"Luke Borallis?" he asked, shocked. Then he shook his head. "Okay, whatever, whoever is killing these people is clearly on a list…I don't know what happened to Borallis but yes, Everett can expect a more painful death than him too, if I can manage it."

I had to admit, Zac vowing to murder Rune for me was quite touching, if not reassuring and I could not help but smile at him for a moment. "Thanks, but I'm not sure that will help your case much."

"Do I even have a case?" he wanted to know. "Are they still looking for me?"

"No, Zac," I said sarcastically. "They decided, 'well, after all this evidence we've got and this third guy being killed…nope can't be him, let's stop.' What do you think?"

"There was no need to be sarcastic," he muttered to the floor. "A simple yes would have done." Then, straightening up he added somewhat indignantly, "what evidence do they have anyway?"

"They say there are fingerprints or something, and the new note matches your handwriting."

"How the hell do they know what my handwriting looks like?"

"Samples, probably. From when you were in school"

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "What does the new note say?"

"It's really weird again. It says 'Followers are just as much to blame as leaders, Luke. Two people died because of you. So now you're dead because of me. Isn't that fitting?'" I shook my head. "This person is scaring me."

"Me too," muttered Zac. "Not only am I getting blamed for what they're doing, if he or she knew where I was, they'd probably try to kill me too." He looked at the floor, apparently quite depressed by the idea that some maniac would want to kill him. I decided not to point out that half the school wouldn't have minded trying it either.

To take his mind off it, I asked, "How did you get Professor Langtree to agree to help you?"

He laughed. "Seifer? He's not like Tammy. If there's a rule, he likes to break it, just to see what would happen. Also, he thought the whole situation was funny. It only took me five minutes to convince him, and that was the first time we'd seen each other in nearly sixteen years."

"He's a really irritating man," I complained.

He grinned. "Wouldn't be Seifer if he wasn't. Besides, he's a great friend. I still have the broom he lent me years ago. Well, it can't fly anymore, but Anton has it."

I had no idea what he was talking about but I decided it best not to ask. Instead, I asked why he was talking to Rowland and Langtree. He shrugged.

"They were my friends. Besides, that time on Wednesday was the first time I've spoken to Seifer in years." Seeing my face, he added, "I am allowed to talk to people, you know. Just because I'm a suspected murderer and I've been on the run, doesn't mean I can't have a social life." He smiled crookedly. I wondered whether he knew just how ridiculous that statement sounded. Knowing my brother, he did.

We talked for a while about random subjects. He decided to give me advice on the OWLs and also told me that Professor Langtree would probably be able to pull this scheme off again, if they arranged it before-hand.

He turned me invisible and walked back with me. This time, he gave me a half-hug, which was something he did rarely. I could not help but wish that he would actually give me a proper hug, but I did not complain. Getting into a fight with him now would do no good at all.

I snuck back in as quietly as I could. I saw Professor Langtree wave at me as I crept back into the school, but I ignored him. In fact, I was so focused on getting back, that it only occurred to me once I was lying in bed later that evening that when I had asked Zac about why he spoke to Rowland and Langtree, he had only spoken about Langtree. In fact, he had barely even answered my question.


	20. The Reintroduction of Normality

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, surprise, surprise.

Geth342: Well, here's chapter 20. I hope you all enjoy. The next update will probably be around the 17th because i have to do History and English coursework on the computer so less updating time.

This chapter is dedicated to Snowstorm752, who left me lots of encouraging reviews although they're always anonymous...not that i have a problem with it, except i keep forgetting to reply so sorry! On a side-note, does anyone else think the song 'Leave Out All the Rest' by Linkin Park suits Rune well?

**Note: Have just learnt i'm not actually here on 17th so update will be 16th or 18th, depnding on when i manage it! Sorry!- 13/02/09**

Chapter 20: The Re-introduction of Normality.

When I woke up the next morning, I found some leaflets lying around about different careers. Apparently, we were all having career interviews in March. This came as a shock to me, partly because I had never really considered the fact that I would have to get a job, even though it was obvious. However, some jobs seemed odd- curse-breaking for example- and some seemed too normal, like Healing or Law. At least I had a few weeks to pick something.

As the week began and moved on, people became less obsessed with making sure I was okay. I didn't really mind; I had been a well-known figure for so long that I appreciated the privacy.

Herbology without Rune was strange. As the numbers were now odd, I worked in a three with Rhian and Sandy which led to me becoming very muddy by the end of the lesson, due to Rhian's natural clumsiness. But it wasn't just that. The class was quieter. Rune was chatty and without him, a certain talkativeness had just gone.

Hanging around with the Slytherins was also strange. Lysana and Richard appeared to have broken up (albeit, very cheerfully. They made constant jokes about it) and although they were still friends, the conversation wasn't the same. I was much closer to Lysana than I was to Richard and, without Rune, the conversation didn't really make it to the end. Even the addition of Cassius only started about a minute's worth of talk.

By Thursday, I was beginning to feel like something was wrong. Not deeply wrong, but off. Much as it pained me to admit it, life without Rune was…boring. Maybe he had been a lot more to me than I had previously thought.

My second therapy session went better than the first one. She asked me to talk a bit more about Rune and although I didn't really like discussing my feelings, she turned out to be fairly skilled because we got into a discussion of exactly why I thought he had reported himself. The assault was easier to talk about- not simple but easier- and she spoke to me about that too, helping me to realise that it wasn't something that could dominate my life. The session went on for two hours, rather than one, and I came out of it feeling better.

The days to the end of the month dragged by. Teachers started to give us more and more work, in order to prepare us for our OWLs. Vaguely, I wondered how much work Rune was getting done. The only interesting things which seemed to happen were the careers leaflets and the therapy sessions.

I had to admit, despite the fact that I had thought the therapy would be stupid at first, after the third one even I had to admit they were helping. I slept a lot more soundly- apparently, I didn't mutter so much and I had a lot less nightmares- and I was finding it easier to think about Rune and that night, although I didn't like it. Part of me was still confused about him and I wouldn't talk to anyone except Professor Rowland about how I really felt.

After I returned from the third therapy session, I arrived back in the Common Room at the same time as Professor Neclor left it. All of my year was gathered around the notice board so I joined in. They were looking at a piece of parchment.

_All 5__th__ year students are required to have a careers interview with their Head of House during the spring term. These will last between 20 - 30 minutes. Below are the times of each student's interview. Do not be late._

_Professor Longbottom_

For some, inexplicable reason, every student's time was written down. Ravenclaw was the third House. I glanced at it, looking for my name.

_Rhian Aldritt- 9__th__ March, 9:00 AM_

_Holly Carew- 9__th__ March, 9:35 AM_

_Anthony Eagan- 9__th__ March, 2:20 PM_

That would be on Monday, and I would be walking out of Arithmancy. The time gaps seemed to be fairly large- Cain wasn't until three and then Natasha was the next day- but I supposed that it was because Professor Neclor would have to teach as well, and the school would not want him off too many timetabled lessons.

My main problem, as Monday approached, was that I only had a few vague ideas about what I wanted to do when I was older. I spoke to the others about what they wanted to do but it did not help because they were different from me. Devyn, for example, wanted a job in the Department of Mysteries whereas Sandy wanted to be a Healer. But the Ministry seemed too dull and Healing meant I would have to deal with everyone else's problems and since I could not deal with my own very well, this seemed like a bad option. Richard wanted to do Curse-breaking in Egypt; Lysana was split between Law like her father, and working with animals. Even Cassius- usually indecisive- knew what he wanted to do. I seemed to be the only one without any definite ideas.

By the time Monday arrived, I had decided on becoming an historian. The fact that I hated Binns' lessons were not the point. I sort of liked the idea of History and I could probably bluff my way through it, at least for one interview.

I turned up on Monday morning trying to remember everything I knew about History. Neclor smiled reassuringly at me as I walked in and told me to sit down. I sat.

"So, Holly, any idea what you want to do?"

"History," I blurted out before I had the chance to forget it. "I want to be an historian."

"Why?"

"It's very interesting. I mean, how events change the world and…stuff." I trailed off, grimacing. Ten seconds in and my bluff had failed. It had to be a new record.

He smiled understandingly. "No idea what you want to do?"

"Um…"

"It's not a problem," he reassured me. "A lot of people don't know what they want to do at fifteen. That's why you have these interviews, to help you. So, still want to be an historian? You'd probably need at least an E at OWL. Right now, you're on an A/E."

"I lied," I admitted. "I don't particularly want to do more History. I don't know what to do though."

"What have you considered?"

I thought. "Erm, Law and Healing. Banking. Office job."

"And none of those appeal to you?"

"Well…Law did, sort of, but I have to defend other people in that and I have enough fun defending myself." I smiled crookedly. "The office ones just seem very dull and Healing is, I don't know, I can't get as worked up as Sandy can."

"Which are your favourite subjects? We'll work from there."

"Charms and Potions," I answered straight away.

"How about teaching?" he queried. I pulled a face.

"I don't have the patience," I replied. "I'd want to hit some kids around the head, but I'd probably be too scared to do it." I laughed nervously.

"If you're sure," he laughed back. "Well, what do you like to do?"

"I don't know. Read, maybe."

He smiled. "Have you considered a job in Potion-making or research?"

"No, but that sounds a bit odd. What is it, exactly?"

"You just join a company. Lots of people need ready-made Potions, or new Potions. Sounds interesting?"

"Sort of," I admitted. It was interesting. Bizarre, but interesting.

"Well, you'll have to take Potions through to NEWT, of course. Professor Chappell says you're on course for an O so that's alright. Herbology would also be useful, as would Charms and Arithmancy. Arithmancy and Herbology would both need to be Es, but you seem to be okay with those."

"That's an idea," I agreed. I had no problem with those subjects. Then, another thought occurred to me. "Sir, do they have anything similar for Charms?"

"I'm sure they do. You could write a work on Charms, or do research into new spells. Although, there are possibly less jobs in that. As for qualifications…well, Charms at NEWT, obviously. You'd need more accomplished spell work, so Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts would be important."

"But I can't do Transifguration," I pointed out. He glanced at my grades.

"You're currently P/A, with the occasional E and the occasional D," he muttered. "If you want to take it to NEWT- not compulsory but advisable- then you need an E."

"I'll stick with Potions."

"You're a bright girl, Holly," he told me. "With some extra work, I'm sure you could get up to an E."

"I doubt it," I muttered wryly. "It took me a lot of effort to get to the A."

"You're friends with Rhian and Richard Drake, aren't you?" I nodded. "Professor Ramik tells me they're two of the best students. You could ask them for help."

"I'll think about it," I replied, drowning out the thought that more Transfiguration lessons were an idea of Hell for me.

He discussed a few other career options with me, such as Magical Handywoman, Herbologist and even an Auror (I shot this one down because I didn't particularly want to go through all the trouble of getting into it and then have to go and fight people. I had enough trouble already). Soon enough, the interview was over and I felt a little better; at least I could always go off and do Potions Research.

Ironically enough, I left the interview and went to Potions. I tried to focus a little more than usual, in order to see if this could be a future career. It was fun, but I couldn't see myself doing it. I couldn't really see myself doing any job. This did not feel like a good sign to me.

In Arithmancy, on Thursday, Lysana brought up the subject of Rune for the first time in three weeks. We were working on some difficult problems in what was supposed to be silence but, in reality, were whispers. I was just writing out an answer when she spoke.

"He comes back in five days," she whispered. There was no need to say who 'he' was.

My hand stopped moving. "I know," I whispered back, in what I hoped was a calm voice.

"What are you going to do about him?"

I shrugged. "Whatever I did before I knew him."

"Holly, you've known him since first-year; he saved you from drowning, remember? What you did before you knew him was live in the muggle world and have a train journey."

"Oh. Yeah." I had forgotten that.

"Are you going to avoid him?"

I shrugged again. "I don't know. Probably."

She went silent so I decided to carry on writing. I realised that I had forgotten the answer and started to look at the sum again to work it out, when she spoke. "If he proved he was sorry, would you forgive him?"

"I don't know."

"Would you try?"

I stared at her. "Why is this philosophy time?"

She smirked. "You're not getting off so easily. Answer the question and I'll answer one of yours. Deal?"

"I don't have any questions for you," I pointed out, "so this is a bad deal."

"Remember in February when we went to Hogsmeade?" I nodded. "And we had the, er, discussion and you asked me if I had ever…you know." I thought back for a moment and then nodded. "I'll tell you the answer."

I pulled a face. "Yeah, I'm actually not sure I want to know."

She grinned. "Okay, new deal. If you answer the question, you can decide whether I tell you or not. If not, then I'll go for the one I think you'll hate most."

"This is still a crap deal."

"Holly!"

"Fine," I muttered stubbornly. "I would try. I doubt it would happen though. Alright, now don't say a word. I _really_ don't want you to elaborate just in case you have and you're going to give me every detail."

"Damn it," she murmured. "If you'd refused, I wouldn't have told you. I thought that would irritate you."

I smirked at her. "Shows what you know."

She fell silent and I turned back to the problem. Once again, I had no idea what the answer was. What was worse was that I had absent-mindedly drawn all over the sum during our discussion and so, with an annoyed sigh, I started the sum again.

At the exact moment that I was about to write down the answer, Lysana spoke again. "So, you're just going to ignore him?"

"Yes."

"Don't you miss him at all?" she asked. Her words sounded vaguely familiar.

"No."

"Is that the truth?"

A pause. "No," I whispered, the feeling of familiarity bugging me. She did not say another word. I could not help but wonder what that had all been about.

And to top it all off, the teacher ended the lesson before I could write down the answer to that sum.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rune arrived back quietly on the Tuesday evening. On Wednesday, I did my best to avoid him but, in truth, it was not that hard; he never seemed to be near me. Furthermore, no one else in the school seemed overly keen on getting the pair of us together. Once again, I found myself with a flood of bodyguards.

On Wednesday evening, however, as I was walking back from the library with Sandy and Rhian, we heard a hissed conversation. No, not a conversation. An argument. It sounded like Anthony and Rune. Without speaking, we all stopped to listen.

Anthony was pointing furiously at the spiky-haired teenager and telling him that he had better leave me alone. Behind him, Cain held a wand out. Rune informed him, quite cheerfully, that he had no intention of bothering me. His smile did not reach his eyes.

The boys grew angrier then, telling him that no one was going to let him get away with what had happened. Rune merely shrugged and pointed out that neither of them particularly liked me, why were they so protective? This only served to infuriate them more and they began to shout. At this point, Rhian decided to walk out and inform the boys that they were shouting too loudly, before glaring at Rune. Rune wandered off, but not with his jaunty swagger. There was something defeated about him.

In Herbology, we did practical work but, as Rune was back, the pairings were even again, so Lysana worked with me. She did not even object to standing in the midst of all the Ravenclaws and kept up a stream of jokes. I came away a lot less muddy than I had in a while, but the one thing I had noticed was that Rune would not look at me. Lysana told me that Rune had become more 'tortured' and that he really was sorry. This only served to confuse me more. I did not know what I would do if I spoke to him again.

So, of course, other people felt the need to find out. On Saturday- five weeks after the attack (and counting)- I was woken up by someone poking me in the cheek. I got a shock to see Lysana, who was cheerfully telling me to wake up.

"Why are you in here?" I murmured blearily.

"Waking you up," she replied.

"I can see that. But how did you get into the Common Room? And into this room?"

Sandy poked her head around guiltily. "I let her in."

"Okay," I muttered, too tired to protest. "Why?"

"What's going on?" Rhian called from the other bed. She got up and stared at Lysana with surprise. "How did you get here?"

"Sandy let her in for some odd reason," I yawned.

"Wow, you talk about me in such a loving voice," Lysana muttered under her breath. Then, seeing my confused and weary look, she added, "but that's not why I'm here. Holly, get dressed. You're going on a trip and Pierce has allowed it."

"Why?"

Sandy gave me a poke. "Just get up, or I'll get Rhian to pour water over you. And I'll sing and no one wants that."

With that threat hanging over my head, I leapt up, grabbed some clothes and ran to the bathroom with Lysana promising to wait outside the Common Room. I had only ever heard Sandy sing three times, but each time I had sorely regretted it.

Once I was dressed, Lysana dragged me down the tower stairs, through the castle and out into the open air. I complained that I had not had breakfast but she ignored me and told me that this was better than breakfast.

You could call me stupid, but until I heard the voices, I genuinely had no idea why I was being taken outside.

It was Cassius I heard first. Cassius was trying to convince someone to stay there. Then Richard joined in and I began to feel suspicious. Then I heard Rune ask why they were keeping him prisoner. Except it wasn't Rune. It was an echo.

I stopped and bluntly informed my friend that I wasn't going any further. She attempted to pull me along, so I dug in my heels. We must have made quite a comical sight. However, Richard happened to glance over and, with a sly smirk, ran over to us, grabbed my other hand and dragged me, ignoring my protests. I knew Rune had heard me because the arguing stopped.

"There," Lysana said triumphantly as they pulled me in front of Rune. "Right…talk."

I stared at her. "You what?"

"Talk, Carew," Cassius boomed. "Like, open your mouth."

"What are you three thinking?" Rune asked in that same echo voice. He did not look at me. "I can't…I'm going." He tried to move but Richard shot an immobilizing spell at him and then unfroze him.

"Right, talk," Lysana repeated as though nothing had happened. I glared at her.

"That's it. I no longer have a best friend." Rune nodded in agreement, still not looking at me. Lysana rolled her eyes.

"Oh for the love of Merlin. I'll get you started. Rune says he's sorry, Holly says she misses you. Go from there."

"What?"

She groaned. "Rune, you start. You were saying you wanted to apologise."

He shifted uneasily. "Yes, but I didn't think…" He took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry. I was a complete jerk and I would never, ever do that to anyone else. And I should never have done it to you." He shifted again. I had never seen him so nervous. "So, uh, you know. You can go and hate me now because I'm really stupid and…" Apparently, when Rune was nervous, he rambled.

"I don't hate you," I interrupted, shocking both him and myself. "I just don't really know what to think about you." I said this in such a halting voice that I was actually surprised when I got to the end of the sentence in one piece.

Rune looked away. "Yeah, well, that's more than I deserve."

I thought about this statement and, oddly, the memory of our first visit to Zac came into my head. Or, more specifically, the memory of Tammy meeting Zac. I smiled crookedly at him. "Being ashamed doesn't suit you."

He glanced at me, startled. "You…you're joking." Then he shrugged. "Never said it suited me. It's just what I am."

Okay, so being cheerful wasn't going to get us anywhere. Why did I even want to get anywhere, I wondered. "So, you're going to sit and mope then?" I asked. "Just, give up?"

He shrugged. "No."

"You know, you can't let this always hurt you," I said, with logic asking me _why_ I was comforting him. "I'm dealing with it. So should you."

"I've done something worse."

I pulled a face. "You…raped-" I had to force the word out, "-someone?" He shook his head. "Murdered someone?" Another shake of the head. "Beat up someone?" Yet another shake of the head. "Then what did you do?"

"Something wrong."

"Oh, well _that_ cleared it up, didn't it?" I muttered. "Didn't guess that."

To my surprise, he half-smiled. "You don't seem unhappy."

"Would Lysana and Sandy ever let me be unhappy?"

He laughed one short laugh. "I don't suppose so."

"There you go."

An uncomfortable silence set in. I looked around and realised that the other Slytherins had left. As soon as I acknowledged this, my heart started thumping. At least when they had been there, I had known Rune couldn't do anything to me. Now, illogically, I felt a sudden sting of fear. I tried to tell myself that Rune wouldn't do anything, but there was always that one little part of me that refused to listen.

The silence deepened.

Rune would not look at me. For some reason, that really irritated me.

"Why won't you look at me?"

He twitched, startled, and turned his grey eyes towards mine. "I am looking at you."

"Yeah, because I asked."

He shrugged. "I just don't know what to say."

That went for both of us. But this was different. He was Rune Everett. The boy who could talk his way out of anything. This just wasn't right. "Well, say something," I pleaded. "Anything. You're never silent."

His lips jerked into another half-smile. "But this is such a good time to start," he said in an almost normal voice.

I smiled back. "No, a good time to start would have been when Professor Zettel caught you stealing that plant a few months back."

His mouth twitched again. "That would have been no fun though."

"It would have been the sensible option."

"Like I said. No fun."

The silence set back in again. It was hard to believe that at one point, the pair of us could have talked for hours. Now, it felt awkward to be near each other.

"This was a stupid idea," he muttered. "I can't…how could they expect us just to set off alright again?"

I shrugged. "I think Lysana was thinking of that time in first-year when you forged those notes to stop us from arguing."

"That was different though. She didn't actually do anything."

I shook my head. "I don't know. Maybe that was it. She _didn't_ do anything and she should have. That was what hurt."

He caught on. "So, I did do something and I shouldn't have. Which sort of amounts to the same thing. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes. I think." Actually, I had more or less lost the reasoning behind my thoughts, but at least we were having a conversation.

"Slytherins really are bad for your health. I guess what I did was the older version of what happened to you in first-year." The smile had left his face. I shrugged. "Holly?" he asked, "have you forgiven me?"

It was my turn to look away. "No."

He nodded. "Why are you still talking to me?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you leave as soon as the others left?" He was still being serious. What was wrong with him?

"I don't know. I wanted to see you be less empty, I guess."

"Empty? _That_ was your reason? And here I was, thinking you were being blackmailed." He sounded incredulous. It startled a laugh out of me. "You don't forgive me but you want me to be less empty. What a stupid reason."

"Well, why are you still talking to me then?" I demanded. "If I don't forgive you."

He shrugged and looked away. "I thought I owed it to you to apologise in person. And to make sure you really were alright."

"Define 'alright'."

He smiled. "Okay, good point. But, you know, not suicidal."

I could not help but roll my eyes. "Great, and Mr. Ego is back. I wouldn't kill myself over _you_."

"Oh. Well, that's good." He smirked a proper Rune-smirk. "I mean, that sounds like you have a hundred other reasons but I'm glad I'm not one of them."

And, just like that, Rune was back.

"I don't have any reasons, you know." I pointed out.

"Hey, do I know how your mind works?" he laughed. Then, suddenly, he stopped and his face worked. After a moment, he stuck his hand out. I stared at it.

"Um…?"

"I want to start over," he explained. "You know, erase everything. You said you didn't know what to think of me. So I want to help you. You don't have to forgive me." He took a deep breath. "Holly, would you like to be friends with me?"

I hesitated and then shook his hand. "Okay."

He grinned, his eyes shining with happiness. "I won't screw it up this time," he vowed. "And if I do, then I'll put it right. I'm never going to be an idiot again."


	21. Outside Views

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.

Geth342: Well...this chapter is actually quite rubbish. Sorry. Next chapter is better though, i promise. Just thought i'd add now, as a sort of self-preservation, Rune will do one more bad thing in this story. Not this chapter, but in this story. Just to warn you now so you don't kill me then.

Even though she doesn't read this, this chapter is dedicated to my sister because she's 19 today. Happy Birthday sis!

Next update will be 27th (11 days because i'm not here tomorrow). I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 21: Outside Views

Devyn, of course, was very annoyed about Rune coming back and becoming my friend. As soon as he found out, he sat me down and gave me a very long lecture on the dangers of Rune Everett. Usually, I would have just sat there and made it clear that I wasn't really listening but I could see his point. Besides, Devyn was just over-protective and considering he was the one who had had to comfort me after the assault, I thought I should let him get it out and then attempt to reason with him.

Sliding back into friendship with Rune was easier than I thought it would be. The first few minutes as we made our way into the castle had been awkward, and I couldn't help but stay a little bit further away from him than usual.

However, after breakfast (where we sat at our own tables, and where Devyn gave me the lecture), I joined in with the Slytherins. Soon, Rune and I were talking in almost the exact way that we used to. The only differences were that I was quieter with him and he had an almost guilty look on his face and it sounded in his voice.

Later that day, I asked Sandy why she had agreed to let Lysana in. She must have known what my best friend had planned and this differed greatly from the other Ravenclaws idea of keeping me away from Rune. She blushed and replied that she had felt sorry for Rune after Lysana had told her so persuasively what he had been like, and she had also thought that I should face him. Upon hearing this, Rhian said, "Oh, so that _is_ what you let Malfoy in for. I thought it would be." I left them, shaking my head. Why did my friends seem to know what was best for me better than I did?

Thankfully, Rune seemed to be showing no intention of trying to go out with me again. He did not put his arm around me- not even in the jokey way which he used to- and made no move to touch me. Rather than being offended, I was grateful. At least it showed how seriously he was taking this.

Of course, on Thursday when I went to the therapy session, Professor Rowland wanted to bring the subject of the friendship up. She looked a bit off but this did not seem to distract her from questioning me.

"Was it your idea to be friends?" she asked to begin the discussion.

"No, it was his," I said and then I thought about it. Was it really his idea? If I hadn't wanted to be friends, then why had I tried to help him? "Actually," I interrupted her next question (which I hadn't heard), "it was both of our ideas."

She smiled, unperturbed by my sudden change in answer- she had gotten used to it. "So, why did you want to be friends again?"

I shrugged. Even after four weeks of therapy, I still wasn't comfortable with talking about my feelings. "Life without him was boring." Then, knowing she would just sit and smile at me until I elaborated (part of me wanted to know whether a muggle therapy session would proceed in the same manner; I had a feeling it wouldn't), I added, "besides, I felt sorry for him. Sort of. I mean, he just didn't seem like himself."

"What did he seem like?"

"Empty and guilty," I replied bluntly. To my surprise, she did not question further but nodded in such a way that I found myself wondering if she knew exactly what I meant. Which was a surprise because I didn't think my sentence had made much sense.

"And you've forgiven him now?" I shook my head and her eyes widened slightly, for a second, before resuming their normal look. "Why not?"

"I dunno," I muttered. "I just can't. I mean, he put me through hell. He shouldn't act so guilty but I can't forgive him."

"How does he stop feeling guilty if the person he hurt won't forgive him?" she wanted to know. I winced at the obvious point.

"Um…"I racked my brain trying to come up with something but fell short. "I don't know. But, I can't forgive him."

"And why would you say that is?"

I shrugged again- a very common movement for me in these sessions. "It's hard. Haven't you ever been in a situation where someone you trusted hurt you? It's hard to get your head around it."

Her smile faltered for a second but then it carried on. "I've been in that situation, on both sides. It's hard but if you don't forgive someone, you'll live to regret it." Her words reminded me of Professor Langtree, a few months ago. He had talked about forgiving people and he had done it to help me. Was I being a hypocrite now?

The discussion changed course then- whether this was because I was uncomfortable with it or because she was, I did not know- to talk more about how I was coping with other things, including my dreams. I did not dream so frequently about the assault- the last time before Rune's return had been four days before- but she had guessed that his return would trigger something.

The session had a different feel to it than usual: it was driven by some sudden desire to get right into my mind. It was quite odd and maybe there was something from it in my expression that indicated (wrongly) that I was in a soul-searching mood. Lysana seemed to think so; she spotted me as I was leaving and we started talking. She wanted to ask about how my friendship with Rune was going. I scowled.

"I've just been talking to Rowland about this."

"Yeah but, you know, you never talk about that sort of thing with us."

"Yes, because if I do, I find myself involved in schemes which have me talking to people I'm trying to avoid," I pointed out.

"It worked, didn't it?" I had to agree but that didn't stop my scowl. "I'm just curious."

"It's fine," I muttered. "The friendship I mean," I added in response to her confused look.

"Good. You seem surprised."

"I'm not surprised," I protested. She raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm not. I've given up expecting him to be like other Slytherins."

She pulled a face. "Thanks for the stereotype."

"I didn't mean it like that."

She shrugged. "It's just one of those things though. I mean, you expect people who believe one thing to be like a certain way."

"Huh?" I had no idea what she was talking about but interrupting Lysana on this topic was a bit like trying to stop the sea. It wasn't going to happen.

"It's like… do you know Adam Davies in Sixth-year?" I shook my head. "How about Janet Crush?" I shook my head again. "Well, Adam is a member of the 'anti-muggle-born' group and Janet is a member of the 'pro-Muggle-born' group."

"That's nice."

She pulled a face at me which clearly told me to be quiet unless I had a productive comment. I stayed silent. "And if you went on that, you'd think Adam was a jerk and Janet was really nice. But it's the other way around. Janet's really, _really_ annoying and whiny but Adam's one of the nicest guys in Slytherin. I bet you wouldn't have thought of that."

"Erm…"

"And it's like this whole Louise Pritchard thing. She talks to you so you think she might be nice. But she's only slightly better than some of the other girls in my House. Bloody annoying to be near."

"Right. Well, I hardly ever speak to her."

She sighed. "Did you miss the point of all of that?"

"No, no," I protested. "I got it. I just don't know what you want me to say."

She shook her head. "For someone so smart, you're surprisingly dense sometimes."

"Sorry." I wasn't really sure why I was apologising but it seemed like a good idea.

She shook her head again. "Don't worry. I didn't think you'd get what I meant. I just like to rant." She smiled weakly.

"Uh…sure." I really had no idea what was going on by now. I thought we had been talking about Rune and her belief on stereotypes but why did she think that I didn't understand?

"So, you do the Herbology essay?" And just like that, the strange conversation was over.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

At the end of March, there was a new poster in the Common Room: the Debating meetings. They did this every year- usually earlier though, as this was for the beginning of April- but we had never gone. However, it was useful for anyone in fifth-year or above so, after a little bit of discussion, we decided to turn up. After all, exams would start a few days after my birthday.

We weren't the only people who were taking a higher interest in it this year. In Charms, all of the Gryffindors were talking about it. The topic for the first one was '_Was Cornelius Fudge right in hindering Harry Potter to uphold the law'_. It seemed like an odd choice- for one thing, most of us knew less about goblin wars than we did about the Death Eater era- but also, it was a very bland subject. It was the sort of thing which would come up on our papers because it was so boring but the first debate meeting of every year was often something far more exciting.

When Professor Langtree heard Clifford Andover commenting on this loudly and adding that a more fun topic would be about the Death Eaters, he smiled and informed us that more exciting debates also tended to lead to worse outcomes such as injury. He would not elaborate, despite the class' pleading.

By the time we got to the Great Hall, the room was packed. We slid into the back and watched as Professor Neclor went onto the new stage and introduced the topic.

The first speaker was a slim seventh-year from my House. He was confident although he had an annoying habit of always pushing his glasses back up his nose. His speech was quite bland- his facts were good but he just wasn't interesting. However, I did manage to learn that Cornelius Fudge had set Dolores Umbridge up at the school on purpose and that she later tried to torture Harry Potter. To my amusement, Rhian wrote this down on a piece of parchment. She was the only person who would think to make notes at a debating meeting.

The next few speakers were equally unremarkable. They brought up a few different points but their facts were fundamentally the same. A few of the Slytherins thought it would be funny to boo, but most had learnt that Neclor would not tolerate it.

Then, to my surprise, Cassius decided to go up. From the way he was grimacing, I had a feeling that this was the result of a bet gone wrong.

"Right," he muttered as a way of beginning. We looked at him expectantly. He blinked nervously a few times, took a deep breath and then decided to launch himself straight into it. "I don't agree with anyone who's just spoken."

A few people giggled.

"I just think that, well, the law's important. It's not smart to stop some hero from doing stuff but he didn't know that at the time, really. I mean, he probably should have known it but he didn't so…yeah, you can't say he's wrong just because he was stupid." A few more people laughed. "And, uh…well, if I went and did half the stuff Harry Potter did and then said 'I'm doing this to save the world', I would have been expelled quicker than you can say…expelled." Words were not Cassius' forte. "And, uh… I mean, the guy did a lot of good stuff and he was there when it mattered. And..." He paused. "I've run out of things to say."

A ripple of laughter pulsed through the room. Cassius grinned and walked off the stage to his friends, who clapped him on the back. I had to admit, it was definitely a different take on the topic.

Professor Neclor walked back up, his eyes twinkling. "Thank you for that, Cassius. So, who wants to speak next?" A few people stuck their hands up. "Jenny, how about you?" I had never quite understood why we had to refer to everyone by their first name but we did.

Jenny Jones went up, confidently smirking. She looked around the hall and settled her gaze on some of the Slytherins. I had a feeling that she was trying to stare out Cassius.

"I don't think anything which Cassius said is right. I mean, if we look at this from a _proper_ perspective, then we actually get to see something correct." There was another ripple of laughter. The Slytherins glared at her. "For example, Fudge only upheld the 'law' if it suited him. And that was because he was so paranoid. So, if Cassius had examined the facts then he'd know that." She carried on talking, constantly trying to put Cassius down. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Cassius fingering his wand with Richard muttering something to him. I had a feeling that Richard was trying to stop the boy from doing anything rash.

When the speech was over, some of the room clapped politely and a few of her friends cheered. However, the majority of the room looked slightly gob-smacked and the irony of it nearly made me laugh. It seemed that more people had liked Cassius' speech, even though he was a Slytherin, and I had a feeling that it was because Cassius had just tried to get his thoughts across. Jenny had tried to ridicule him.

"Jenny, please apologise to Cassius," Neclor reprimanded. "You are not allowed to gain points by attacking other debaters personally."

"Sorry," she muttered in an unapologetic voice.

"Very well," Neclor said, although I could tell that he wasn't pleased. "Who wants to speak next? Okay, Devyn, up you come." To my surprise, Devyn had stuck his hand up almost immediately. He walked up and looked around, slightly nervous.

"This is mainly to back up Gr- er, Cassius' point." Devyn looked slightly uncomfortable at having to use Cassius' first name. Old habits die hard, I guessed. "You see, all Dumbledore told him was to have _faith_ in what he said. Loads of people would dismiss an idea on those grounds. I mean, he keeps saying 'You-Know-Who is back so let this happen' but without any solid proof. Faith is nice but some people need more than that. I wouldn't stop revising for, I don't know, Defence Against the Dark Arts, if Professor Neclor told me that he had faith that I could get an O without revising. Maybe Fudge is like that too." He shrugged. "I don't know. But if we don't know any of the facts, we can't work it out. Textbooks give us a prejudiced version. To answer this, we have to see Fudge's point of view.

"If you were the head of a country and you've just been told that You-Know-Who is back but there's no evidence, what are you going to do? Call a full-scale alert or try to keep things calm? If we think about it, then the question isn't 'was Cornelius Fudge right in hindering Harry Potter to uphold the Law'. The question we should address is 'was Cornelius Fudge right to believe that he should hinder Harry Potter to uphold the law, in the circumstances'." He looked around and then smiled. "And, to finish, I'll quote Cassius. I've run out of things to say."

The room started laughing. He smiled and walked back over to us. I noticed Cassius and his friends cheering particularly loudly. It wasn't the best speech, or the longest, but I felt that he had made a point.

Danny went up next. His speech attacked Cassius'- whereas Devyn was a very 'wordy' person, Danny was more about force and it showed. He repeated many of the points which we had already heard but in a venomous tone, and he emphasized the heroicness of Harry Potter. I had a feeling Danny wanted to be like the hero but I couldn't help but feel that he was a long way off. Heroes may come in different forms, but surely they had to be less of a bully?

There was an angry buzz going around the room when he finished. A lot of people cheered though. It looked like this was a fight which went deeper than what was being argued.

The next person who went up was a sixth-year Slytherin called Adam. I wondered whether this was the Adam whom Lysana had told me about. I had to admit, if he was, she had a point. He was built a bit like a house and looked like he had never had an original thought in his head. But when he spoke, he had a light, teasing tone and his argument was very well-structured. He was on Cassius' side and was easily one of the better speakers we had heard. Most of the room cheered him at the end.

The next few speakers were delving deeper and deeper into the argument, siding either with Cassius or Jenny. Some debates were actually losing the point by making snide remarks about other speakers. Rhian- who seemed to have the same opinion as me- had started to write a list called 'things people do when nervous' instead of her original notes.

"We have time for one last debater," Neclor called after a fourth-year Hufflepuff, who hadn't seemed to know that much about the topic, finished. "Who wants to finish?" A few hands went up.

"What's the point?" someone called. "I don't want to listen to another 'Cassius is great' or 'Cassius sucks' debate." I had to laugh. This person had the same opinion as me.

"Very well then, Rune," Neclor replied. "Why don't you come up and show everyone how to do it?"

I hadn't realised that Rune was the speaker but it made sense. This was exactly the sort of thing he would do. I watched as he walked onto the stage, looking as confident as usual. People nearby stiffened and some glanced at me. I decided to keep my eyes fixed firmly on the stage.

"The last speaker was on Jenny's side so, to keep things nice and even, I'll argue Cassius' point of view," Rune drawled. "No, actually, I won't. I'll argue them both."

"Make up your mind!" a voice yelled. People laughed but Rune did not look at all embarrassed.

"I just did," he replied cheerily. "I said I was going for the middle. Sort of. Anyway, can I continue?" No one spoke. "Okay, firstly, anyone who thinks Fudge was right in trying to hinder Potter is a moron. That's a bit like saying we should have let the Dark Lord take over because law and order improved. Nice thoughts but not exactly a smart move. People should be more lenient when they're given something which the smartest man thinks is true. And when they have evidence, then they should do it. I'm sorry, but if you're going to ignore facts and you're the Minister, you may as well go the whole way and try to destroy the country. Would probably be more fun too." He smirked. "Sometimes, the law has to be ignored for the greater good.

"But, like Mc- Devyn said, this doesn't mean we should all start being mad at Fudge. He was a power-hungry idiot but he tried to do the right thing in the end. Like Devyn said, we don't know for sure that he had all the facts. He clearly wasn't the smartest guy around so maybe he didn't quite get it. Maybe he thought he was right because he was convinced the facts meant something different." He shrugged. "I don't know. Could happen." He paused. "Anyway, Professor Neclor is tapping his watch so I'll finish with this tangent.

"Why is everyone arguing about Cassius and Jenny? I mean, why bother? This is _revision_, you know. And last time I checked," his voice was now amused, "none of the history papers were about our opinion on their debating abilities. Unless I've been looking at the wrong questions. So, really, the last twenty minutes were a waste of time."

He walked off the stage in silence. His speech had been quite sarcastic and was evidently supposed to annoy everyone. And it had worked. Of course, it did not help that half the room hated him.

Still, the silence was a bit strange.

_Clap, clap, clap._

I looked around to see the source of the clapping. One set of hands. People stared back at me and I realised, with some shock, that I was the one applauding

Lysana, Richard and Cassius began to applaud as well. It was a very slow moment and it felt clichéd in a way, especially when Sandy joined in.

In the end, about half the room clapped. It was probably the weakest response anyone had had (there was no cheering) but Rune did not seem to mind. He grinned all the way through.

Neclor ended the debate with a vote. The motion that Fudge should not have hindered Harry Potter won, but about a quarter of people voted against it. Whether they were actually siding with or with Cassius was unclear but it was definitely more people than I would have suspected.

As we left the room, Rune caught up to us. He nodded to my friends and then turned to me. It was quite nice to see that the Ravenclaws did not want to kill him.

"Enjoy my speech?" he murmured to me.

"It lacked humour," I muttered back, trying to keep a straight face.

He laughed. "I'll throw a joke in next time."

"Will you get a next time?"

"Wasn't I good enough this time?" He sounded like this was all news to him but he smiled.

"Here's a hint, Rune. Don't insult everyone in the hall."

"But then no one will listen," he protested. I smiled. "Anyway, tell me. Why did you start clapping?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Silence was scaring me."

"Right… you know, saying 'it was a great speech' would have been better."

"Oh, sorry."

"I forgive you." He grinned at me.

"Rune, come on. We've got to write that essay," someone called. I thought it might have been Richard.

"Coming," he shouted. He smiled at me again. "So, which do you believe?"

"Huh?"

"The motion. For or against?"

"Oh. I don't know."

"No one's speech made an impression?"

"I just can't decide, really."

He laughed softly. "Now why did I think you'd say all that? Bye, Holly." He sauntered off. Sandy grabbed me and we headed off to Ravenclaw tower. But I was confused. What did he mean when he said he thought I would say all that?


	22. Questioning Innocence

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.

Geth342: 3rd time is clearly the charm. Tried to update on Monday (Ear infection + house arrest= lots of time to update) and couldn't log on. So, here it is. Next update will be 5th March, hopefully, as i've already started writing the next part.

On a side-note, i've actually worked out that my dates are all one day out to the actual days. But, Hidden Serpent was 3 days out so it's not too bad. And i'm not changing all my days so let's stick with it this way. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 22: Questioning Innocence

The following day, I received a message off Zac asking me to visit him on the next Hogsmeade trip- 18th April. This wouldn't be a problem usually, except I didn't have the excuse of going off with Rune; for one thing, my brother really wanted to kill him and I thought it best that Rune made it through the year in a somewhat healthy state.

Fortunately, I had two weeks to consider the problem so I wasn't too worried.

Our work-load was increasing and I found myself spending many of my evenings revising constantly. As Devyn said when Rhian complained of lack of free time: 'Free time? Since when did students get that?'

Still, we were not as bad as Lysana who told me one day that she had had a dream about doing her Potions exam in her underwear whilst the examiner danced on a table. At least my dreams were now normal (I had stopped dreaming about the assault too, which was definitely a plus).

On Thursday, when I showed up for my usual therapy session, I stood in the room for twenty minutes before a student came in and told me that Professor Rowland was not feeling well and had decided to cancel the session. I had to admit, I had more or less worked it out by that point but, instead of feeling annoyed, I was glad that I could squash in some extra revision. I was having serious doubts about my ability to do exams.

The downside to all of this work was that it only occurred to me on the Friday before the Hogsmeade trip that I still needed a plan. I had spent so much time and effort revising that it had completely slipped my mind. I ran my mind over possible options and surmised that, short of running away, I had none.

On the day, I was actually with the Slytherins because I had spent most of the week with the Ravenclaws, revising. I walked around with Lysana and Rune until half-eleven and then I decided to just tackle the problem head on.

"I really need to be somewhere," I said suddenly, interrupting a discussion about Professor Chappell's moustache (I wasn't even sure how we got onto that topic).

"Okay… and you're telling us now because?" Lysana sounded confused.

"Because now's when I need to go." I looked at Rune. He nodded slightly, indicating that he knew what I was talking about.

"Where do you need to go?" she asked.

"Uh…I'm visiting someone." I hoped that she would understand without me having to explain.

"Who?" Clearly, she hadn't understood. "You don't know anyone in Hogsmeade."

"Sure she does," Rune interjected smoothly. "She's connected."

"Rune, be serious. Who can she know?"

"I know the person I'm visiting," I supplied.

"Damn it, Holly," she growled, exasperated, "you're being really awkward. Can't you just tell me?"

"Not really." She glared at me so I added, "You really don't…_can't_ know.

"Why not?" She glowered at me. "Who could you be hidi- oh." She studied me carefully. I kept my face blank. "If," she said carefully, "you really need to visit a person that famous, then I guess you should go."

"Thanks." I forced a smile out; she did not look impressed. "Bye."

"Have fun, Holly," Rune called cheerily. Lysana grumpily raised her hand in a wave.

I walked to the outskirts casually and then ran to the cave quickly. I arrived expecting to see my brother and possibly Rowland, so I got a shock when I saw Langtree instead of the female teacher. I considered turning around again, but by this point, they had both heard me and Zac beckoned me inside.

He was in disguise again, this time as a dark-skinned man with a missing eye. I was sorely tempted to suggest that he disguise himself as a girl, just for a joke, but I felt he would take it the wrong way so I merely waved and sat down.

"Hello, Holly," Langtree greeted me.

"Hi, sir," I replied awkwardly.

"Call me Seifer whilst I'm here," he offered. I nodded, knowing full well that I would not do it. It would just be too weird.

"So, you two _do_ know each other," Zac said lazily. "That's good."

"Zac, I_ have_ been teaching her for four and a half years," Langtree laughed. "I think I know my students' names by now."

"I never fail to be surprised that you remember your colleagues' names," Zac replied dryly.

"I never fail to be surprised that you can't stay out of trouble for longer than one day," Langtree retorted, trying to mock Zac's voice. It didn't really work - he was not a sarcastic man.

They carried on with this friendly banter and I grew bored quickly. At least when Rune had been able to come, I had had someone to talk to during these conversations, but now I had no one. Absent-mindedly, I drew on the ground.

"Is that meant to be you?" Zac asked, breaking into my thoughts. "It's not a good likeness."

"It's not me."

"Oh good," Langtree said cheerfully, glancing over. I looked at the ground. This was a really weird situation (I didn't know _why_ it was weirder with Langtree than Rowland, it just was. Maybe because Rowland had, at least, spent time before talking to me whereas this man had just spent a lot of time staring at me).

"Hey, where is Professor Rowland anyway?" I asked to get attention away from my bad art skills. "She's usually here, isn't she?"

"Seifer tells me she's ill," my brother replied. "She's got some sort of bug, she thinks."

"Oh yeah, she was ill on Thursday as well," I murmured, remembering my wait in the Learning Support room.

"On Thursday, she was being sick in my office," Langtree muttered unhappily. "She came in to talk to me about something and next thing I know, I'm summoning a bucket and giving it to her."

"Could have been a reaction to the office."

"Thanks for that, Zac," Langtree replied. "It's nice to see that you're always willing to make me feel better." Zac laughed. "But yes, she has been spending a few days looking awful."

"When do you think she'll get better?" I asked, more out of a desire to stop another 'male-banter' conversation than genuine curiosity. I liked her, but it didn't really bother me when she stopped feeling ill. As long as it was before Thursday anyway.

Langtree shrugged. "She'll get better soon, I assume. I don't know."

"Oh, okay."

Silence descended upon the three of us. I wondered whether this was just as awkward for Langtree as it was for me.

"How's O.W.L revision going?" Zac asked after it was clear the conversation would not continue.

"I hate exams," I replied automatically. He laughed.

"I remember that. Anyone had a nervous breakdown yet?"

"No, but Lysana had a weird dream."

He shook his head. "Too bad. Breakdowns are always interesting to watch."

I said nothing, but Langtree spoke up. "That's harsh, Zac," he chuckled. "These exams are important, you know."

"A teacher would say that," Zac dismissed. "I never found any use for them."

Langtree smirked. "No, criminals don't have uses for exams, do they?"

"Hey, I didn't say I had no use for exams," Zac protested. "I did a few GCSEs and A levels."

"You did what now?"

"Exams, Seifer. For muggles."

"I didn't know you did that," I said, surprised.

He stared at me incredulously. "Of course I did. You think people trust any old fool with a business?"

I shrugged. "Well I don't know, do I? I didn't even know you were a criminal until a few months ago, let alone what you did when you were a teenager."

"I am not a criminal, I am a suspected murderer, there's a difference."

"I think escaping arrest is a crime."

"Yes, but that's not what you were talking about."

Suddenly, Langtree started laughing. We stopped arguing to stare at him. Zac asked him what was so funny.

"You two are really related," he replied. "I wouldn't have guessed it but you two are so clearly brother and sister." He laughed again. "It's funny to watch. Also, I've never seen Zac losing an argument."

"I'm not losing!"

"Yes, you are."

Zac rolled his eyes. "I picked the wrong side anyway," he muttered. I laughed. "My point is that Holly shouldn't stress too much over O.."

"But I want good grades," I pointed out.

"And unlike you," Langtree added, "she isn't embarking on a life of crime any time soon." He paused. "At least, I hope she isn't."

"I'm not," I assured him.

"You have no sense of adventure," Zac grumbled and then, seeing the look I shot him, mumbled something about people being unable to take a joke.

"Any ideas what you want to do, Holly?" Langtree asked in a friendly tone. I wondered why he was suddenly trying to bond with me.

"Uh…Potions or Charms, I guess," I mumbled.

"Wouldn't you need Transfiguration for Charms?" Zac asked wickedly.

"Yes," I replied.

"And didn't you tell me you're crap at Transfiguration?"

"I guess."

He laughed. "This won't work, Holly." I said nothing. It was quite obvious anyway.

"And I thought Zac had grown out of bullying when he was sixteen," Langtree commented dryly. "Guess I was wrong."

"Seif, do me a favour?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

I had to laugh.

The conversation turned into another 'male-banter' and I was, once again, left to my own devices. I drew another picture in the dust and had actually completed it by the time one of the men deigned to remember me.

Despite our temporary alliance against my brother, any conversations I had with Langtree remained awkward. He did make an effort but it didn't really work and, in the end, I left before he did. I was quite grateful to be gone; there had been moments when I felt like I should put my hand up before speaking.

The one thing which stuck in my head was what Langtree said to Zac as I was leaving.

"You know," he had said thoughtfully, "it's a bit odd that Tammy's ill."

"Why's that?"

"Well…she never gets ill. Or hardly ever. Only once in the years I've been teaching. It's a bit unusual."

"You're paranoid, Seifer," Zac dismissed. "Everyone gets ill."

I did not hear the teacher's reply because I was out of hearing range by this point. It seemed like a normal topic but I could not help but wonder why Langtree had brought this up when he thought I could not hear.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Lysana wanted answers and unlike Sandy, she was a bit more forthright about getting them; on Sunday, she found me and confronted me. Rune was with her. I had a feeling he was there for my own protection.

She asked me who I had been to see. She clearly knew already but she wanted me to say it out loud. I tried to use euphemisms to begin with but an angry Lysana is very scary and I still had not recovered quite enough trust to believe that Rune could stop her.

However, before I could get further than 'my br-', she stopped me, saying it was better if she didn't hear the rest of my sentence. I was a bit startled because Lysana was not exactly a 'lenient' person. But then she wanted to know - in a calm voice - how long I'd been doing this for.

I couldn't really look her in the eye as I muttered that I had been visiting him since November. I noticed that Rune moved closer to the girl and I wondered whether this was to restrain her.

She took it surprisingly calmly.

Her next question, in the same calm voice which I was beginning to fear, was why I had kept this a secret. This time, I blushed and would not meet her eyes at all. Something told me that the reason 'Zac told me not to' would hold no water as that was the reason I had denied the man's existence to begin with.

It was Rune who saved me; he cut in smoothly, explaining that the knowledge of Zac's whereabouts had been on a need-to-know basis for his safety and Lysana did not need to know. Unfortunately, this led to the somewhat obvious question of how did Rune know then.

It was beyond my capacity to answer because I felt that Lysana might take it the wrong way this time, so I kept staring at the ground. Rune, however, had no such qualms and decided to explain the whole 'note falling out of hand' scenario with actions. He seemed quite brave to do this, but I felt there was probably some stupidity in it too.

Lysana was not amused by Rune's antics and shot him a glare to make him stop. The boy did one more gesture then stopped and smiled charmingly at her. I attempted to look her in the eye but failed miserably and stared at her chin instead. She did not notice.

Seeing she was angry, Rune attempted to diffuse the situation by saying that I probably would have gotten round to telling her at some point. This brought her attention back to me. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"Why," she hissed, "is Holly not answering the questions?"

Which was actually quite a good point. I took a deep breath, looked her in her ice-blue eyes and squeaked (it was meant to be a defiant voice) that I was scared she would kill me. A deadly silence fell over the three of us for a few seconds. Then, without warning, she burst out laughing. I smiled with relief.

Apparently, the sight of me trying to be brave was hilarious and although I felt a bit annoyed about this (I was brave…sometimes, anyway) I was just grateful that Lysana had not decided to shout at me.

I used this opportunity to apologise profoundly and, after a minute, she began to accept it although I could see that she was still annoyed. I explained that Zac had told me not to tell her because she might tell her father and she looked scornful. Seeing that look, I wondered whether Zac was maybe a bit paranoid. After all, surely none of my friends would betray me by hurting him.

I was about to say this when Rune interrupted to say that lunch was going to be served soon and he really wanted to eat it. We headed to the Great Hall, arriving as other students did. As I sat down with the Ravenclaws, I seriously wondered whether I should tell Sandy, Rhian and Devyn.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Just heard," Devyn murmured, "another murder. Tanya DeKilwar."

I had been just about to tell my friends about Zac - his wrath be damned - when I heard Devyn talking to Rhian and Sandy in a corridor. It was late on Monday evening and they clearly weren't expecting people to be wandering around.

"Do you think he did it?" Rhian murmured back. I stopped behind the corner.

"Well…Holly thinks he didn't," Sandy said.

"Yeah, but Holly wouldn't exactly think her brother is a murderer, would she?" Devyn pointed out.

There was silence for a moment as the three of them considered it.

"Does she even know him that well?" Rhian asked. "I mean, if the man was telling her to lie about him, how much can she know about him?"

"Rhi, it's not like she's never _met_ him," Sandy protested. "She must know him - he's her brother."

"Her brother who lied to her for fifteen years," her girlfriend pointed out.

"Yeah, but… I just think Holly would know her brother well enough to know if he's a murderer."

"Look, all I know," interrupted Devyn, "is that there's a hell of a lot of evidence which points to that man."

"It could be a mistake." Even to me, Sandy's protest sounded weak.

"That much evidence?"

"People get things wrong."

"That much evidence?"

"Stop saying that, Dev." The blond girl looked quite annoyed. "All I'm saying is, we should trust Holly's judgement." Rhian nodded but Devyn frowned. "What, Devyn?" Sandy added.

"Well…"

"Spit it out." This was Rhian.

"I don't know," he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. "I mean, I would trust her normally - you know I would - but…" he trailed off again.

"I really don't get what you're getting at," Sandy muttered.

"Everett!" he blurted out. The girls stared at him. "She trusted him. And look what he did."

"But he apologised for that," Sandy pointed out. "He was really sorry about it." Devyn said nothing. "Do you think I'd have let Malfoy take her to speak to him if I didn't think he was sorry?"

He smiled. "Sandy, you see the good in everyone though."

"Not the point being discussed."

"I'm with Sandy on this. I think he was sorry," added Rhian.

"Fine," the boy grumbled, "but I'm telling you. Everett is bad news."

"Oh, you just hate every Slytherin. Especially the ones who like Holly."

Even Devyn had to smile. "Can you blame me?" he wanted to know. "Slytherins always hurt her. She's one of my best friends. Therefore, it's natural that I dislike Slytherins."

"Not all the Slytherins hurt her," Sandy replied, seeing the good in everyone as Devyn said.

"Most of them tease her. Her two favourite ones hurt her. Remember, in first-year?"

"Oh. Yeah."

He paused and then added, "And when you think about it, her brother was a Slytherin…"

"And Slytherins hurt her," Rhian completed.

"This is slightly ridiculous," Sandy protested.

"Sandy," Devyn said seriously, "what do you think? I mean, you know I think Zac Carew did those murders. How would Holly know anyway? She hasn't seen him for ages and he has no known alibi - I mean, who would be hiding him? Where else could he have been on Saturday afternoon or any of those other times? What do you honestly believe?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean maybe he did but I don't think we should doubt Holly. She knows him better than we do."

"You just don't want to see Holly hurt," Rhian said.

"Maybe I don't," the girl replied. "But I just think we should support Holly on this." A pause. "She'd do the same for any of us."

"That doesn't change facts," Devyn muttered. "I really think Holly's wrong on this one."

I turned around and went back to the Common Room. After hearing all of that, my desire to tell the three of them about Zac had waned.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I considered confronting them about the conversation but realised that I had no reason to have heard it all. What could I say? '_I was wandering around and I heard my name being mentioned so instead of making my presence known, I thought I could eavesdrop_'? That wouldn't go down well.

This time, people reacted to the murder by pretending I didn't exist. This seemed to be a mix between hating me outright and being nice to me because of the assault. Even Darius Potter and Danny walked past me in the corridor without so much as a glance at me. I didn't really pay attention because I was thinking about the whispered conversation.

It wasn't that I was overly bothered that Devyn and the others hadn't told me - I guess going up to your friend and saying 'I think your brother is a serial killer' isn't the best way to keep a friendship going - and I supposed that they were free to draw their own opinions from what they had heard. Especially as I had no solid evidence to back up my own beliefs. I couldn't really put my finger on what was bugging me. Maybe it was more that I hadn't expected them _not_ to believe me.

After a few days, I couldn't stand it any longer and I decided to talk to Lysana to see if she believed me.

She hesitated before answering. "Holly, I really don't think-"

"Just tell me, please," I pleaded.

"Well…I don't know."

That stopped me. "You don't know?" I repeated.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I sort of believed the papers. I mean, they have loads of evidence and he does have a known motive. Sorry, Holly."

I ignored the last part. "So why don't you know?"

She shrugged again. "It's something you said about going to visit him. I can't remember now - it's been bugging me - but there's something odd about that. Something which doesn't make sense. Also, I've never met the man."

I nodded absent-mindedly. Now that she had mentioned it, I realised there was something off as well; something in the newspaper article didn't make sense. Something the Ravenclaws had said as well, I was sure of it. As we settled back into our work, my mind furiously ran over the problem. What was it that both the newspaper and my friends had discussed which hinted that Zac might be innocent?


	23. Birthday Presents

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Geth342: This is the beginning of the ending sequence of events. Next update will be 15th March, hopefully. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 23: Birthday Presents

Unfortunately, I could not work out what the missing element was and neither could Lysana. I tried to get hold of the newspaper but everyone appeared to have decided to keep them away from me for I could not find one.

The amount of revision we did increased severely. Towards the end of April, Jonathon Barlow had a nervous breakdown in the middle of Potions, when we were doing a mock test, and had to be taken to the Hospital Wing by one of his friends. It was quite a scary sight and I hoped that I would be able to hold onto my nerves, at least for a little longer.

Rune, upon hearing this story, burst out laughing and said that Barlow must be really delusional because he was one of the best students in the year. Out of curiosity, I asked who the best one was. He said it was himself and then, following a little thump off Lysana (who was a lot more sympathetic towards Barlow), said that it was probably Olivia Zoler. She was smart, I had to admit, but I hadn't really paid attention this year because she wasn't speaking to me (although she did, at least, smile and wave at me which was more than most people).

At the beginning of May, Neclor took me to one side and told me that, due to the considerable stress I was under this year, the teachers were applying for special consideration on my behalf. They weren't completely sure I would get it because the examiners were very strict and could view the assault as being some time before and my brother's troubles as being distant. However, there was still a good chance that they would grant it. That meant I would automatically get a certain percentage of marks on each paper. I wasn't sure I really deserved it but Neclor insisted.

The first exam was due to start on 18th May - less than one week after my birthday. It was quite annoying that I would be spending my birthday revising but it couldn't be helped. It wasn't as though I had been planning to do anything anyway. Even if I hadn't been put off parties by Rune's birthday, there were only eight people I could invite, and seven of them would argue with each other. Sephy was the eighth.

I wasn't expecting much, present-wise. My parents would undoubtedly send money or books, and I had told my friends not to make a fuss. This would undoubtedly be ignored but at least I had tried.

However, the one thing I really wasn't expecting was the letter which arrived on 3rd May. It was in Welsh and told me to go to the cave on 10th May so Zac could give me a present. Where and how he had gotten me a present, I did not know, but I thought it was quite a nice thing to do.

I told Lysana and Rune about the letter but no one else. I wasn't sure whether it was Zac's wish or my irritation but I didn't want to tell any of the Ravenclaws about him. From the sound of Devyn, they might even have reported him. At least I knew that Lysana and Rune would not; Slytherins were all too familiar with secrets.

Not that the Ravenclaws were mean. Devyn just had a strong view on justice and so did Rhian. Sometimes, I half felt like becoming an Auror when I spoke to them just to prove that I believed in justice too. It has to be said though that I was not as close to them as I was to Lysana and Rune - even after the assault. There was some indescribable tension between me and them which was just waiting to flare into something huge. I didn't particularly want that to happen but I had the feeling that it was sort of inevitable.

Well, I was right on that count anyway. It just never occurred to me - conceited as I invariably was - that I would be the one to trigger it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

On the Sunday on which I was to visit Zac, I could barely concentrate on my work. I was excited to see him and maybe ask him if he knew what the missing idea was about the newspaper report. It was agony to wait until half-five but I managed it. As I headed to the gates, however, Rune was waiting for me.

"Hi, Rune," I said cheerily. "I'm just going to…you know."

He sighed. "I wish I could go with you," he muttered. "Revision is taking over my life." He sounded odd.

"Why don't you come with me?" I offered, conveniently forgetting that my brother wanted to kill him.

He smiled. "Can't. Final Warning, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." It was funny how casually we discussed it. "Well, I'm still going to go."

I got to the gate when he called me. "Holly?"

I turned. "Yeah?"

"Have you forgiven me?"

I stopped. Had I forgiven him? "Um…yeah," I mumbled back.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Are you telling the floor you forgive it, or me?"

Despite the confusion I felt, I smiled back, pleased to see the smirk. "Sorry," I apologised.

"So, what's the answer?" Then, seeing my hesitation, he added, "Sometime today would be good, Holls."

I raised my chin defiantly. "Yeah, I have." He gave me a sceptical look. "I really have," I insisted. I wasn't sure if I had fully forgiven him but I was definitely on the path to it. And maybe I had. But now wasn't the time to go soul-searching.

He smiled. "Good." Then he looked at the gate. "Holly…how about you don't go today? You could stay with us."

I stared at him. Not go? This was my brother. Of course I was going. "Rune, I've got to go."

"You don't have to. Technically."

"Rune-"

"Alright," he laughed, "just wondering." I turned around and opened the gate after doing a swift teacher-check. As I slipped out, he called, "I'm glad you've forgiven me, Holly. It means a lot." I turned around in time to give him a smile before running out.

Zac wasn't in the usual spot. He was always there before I was but, when I arrived - five minutes late, thanks to Rune - no one was there. Feeling uneasy, I decided to head towards the cave anyway. Zac wasn't stupid and besides, I thought, we might run into each other on the way.

I received a few odd stares off people as I ran through the village. Of course, I wasn't in wizarding robes - I was in Muggle clothes - and I stood out, especially as I was obviously Hogwarts age. At least I had the sense to look down at the ground most of the time; the resemblance to my brother would probably have caused people to talk to me or insult me or whatever else they felt they should do.

I heard the Aurors before I saw the cave. I ran up the path and hid behind a tallish rock (and prayed that the Aurors would not look behind the rock). As I peeked out, I recognized Kinsella and Jenkins - the two men who had interrogated me - holding Zac at wand-point.

"Get off me!" Zac shouted. His disguise -if he had had one - had been shattered so he looked like himself. Tall, tired and dirty. His clothes were different and he had had a bit of a haircut but those were the only changes.

"You are under arrest," one of the Aurors replied calmly. "Anything you say can and will be used as evidence against you."

"So you're using me telling you to get the hell off me as evidence? In what?" Apparently Zac lost all of his common sense when he was angry.

"You are to be charged with the murders of Adam Etasyl, Ryan Reaver, Luke Borallis and Tanya DeKilwar."

"Fine! Use this then! I DIDN'T KILL THEM!" he screamed. I saw Jenkins tighten his grip. "I'm innocent for God's sake."

It sounded weird, him saying 'God's sake'. I was used to everyone saying 'Merlin'

"And innocent men often stay on the run, do they Carew?" a woman asked dryly. "You'll be lucky to escape the Dementors. Don't forget. You've got the death of Michelle Grant as well." She smirked. "We've read up on your background."

"Fine, punish me for that then," my brother growled, "but I swear to God, I did not kill those people."

"Once a liar, always a liar, eh, Carew?" Kinsella goaded. "Just like your sister."

My eyes widened as Zac lunged forward, broke free and punched Kinsella flat out before Jenkins shocked him with some curse. He fell to the floor, his body going into spasms.

"And he said he's not violent," muttered Kinsella.

To my surprise, the Auror who had been reading out the charges replied with, "If you're going to insult his family, he's going to get mad. That was out of order, Greg."

"He killed those people!"

"Only if the court finds him guilty." The man shot Kinsella a look of disgust. "Just do your job."

Jenkins and the woman pulled Zac up. He glared at Kinsella and then, slowly, looked at the other Auror.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked clumsily, struggling to get each word out.

"Classified information," Jenkins replied.

"Just tell me."

"A tip-off." This was the Auror who seemed to be the only one focused on doing his job.

"Who?"

"Can't tell you that," replied the man. He looked at his watch. "Okay, we need to leave. Greg, Steve, bind him. Alice, grab his other arm. We'll get going." Kinsella and Jenkins both performed spells on my brother, freezing his angry expression. Then after the unknown Auror had grabbed his right arm, they apparated. I stared at the empty space in shock.

They had gotten him. The Aurors had captured my brother.

How? How had they found him? How had they known he would be in the cave today? Who had tipped them off?

I sat there for another half-hour, just staring at the spot where the Aurors had disappeared with my brother. I didn't know what to do. I had always been aware that Zac could get caught at any time and there were times when I had hoped it would happen. But it had never seemed real and now that it had happened, the fact that I could do nothing to prevent it sank in. It was all up to the Ministry now.

Slowly, I forced myself to get up and walk back to the school, conveniently forgetting that the gates would be locked until nine. Or, they were supposed to be. Because I pushed them absent-mindedly and they opened. I walked through (I wasn't surprised because I had already forgotten what time it was, let alone when the gates were meant to be open) and was met by Professor Rowland.

"I'm afraid I have to take points off your House for sneaking…" She trailed off. "Holly, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I put my hand to my cheek. True to her words, there were tears there. I was startled to hear that I was also sobbing.

"I'm n-n-not c-crying," I said tearfully, lying through my teeth. Unsurprisingly, Rowland didn't believe me.

"Holly, what happened?" she asked urgently. "Rune said something was going to happen but he didn't say-"

"Z-Zac," I interrupted. "He g-got arrested. Just then."

She froze. "How do you know?" she whispered.

"I saw it," I replied miserably. "They t-t-took him."

"God," she whispered - that name again, "I can't believe…how…how did they know he was there?"

"I don't know." As I said it, I realised I was wrong. I had a feeling that I knew _exactly_ who the tip-off came from. I wiped away the tears from my face. "I'm just going to go in now…" I fought to keep the tremor out of my voice.

She had gone completely white. "Yes, you do that," she said absently and then, remembering who I was, added, "he'll be fine. He's gotten out of this before."

I don't know if she was trying to convince herself or me.

As I suspected, Rune was nearby. It made sense. He had gotten Rowland to the gates. I walked over to him.

"How could you?" I snapped. All my tears had stopped now and I was filled with fury. I felt as angry as I had at Christmas, when I had argued with my parents.

"How could I what?" he asked innocently.

"Don't give me that," I growled. "You know what. You betrayed him. You tipped the Ministry off."

"What makes you say that?" His tone was bland.

"Lysana wouldn't. I didn't. Rowland and Langtree wouldn't. The Aurors _knew_ he would be there, and you're the only one left who knew he would be there." I glared at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Holly," he said, his voice pained. "I didn't want to."

"But you did." My voice was flat.

"I didn't mean to." He looked tired. "It was…I was in the house, when I got suspended and I was writing in my diary - I was bored - and my dad found it. He made me tell him."

"Why didn't you lie?"

"I tried. But my dad's good at this. Holly, he needed a breakthrough. He guessed that your brother would be in the cave near your birthday." He shook his head. "You have no idea how close he is to losing his job."

"And you have no idea how close my brother is to losing his life!" I snapped back.

"I didn't mean to."

"Well, why the hell didn't you _warn_ me?" I hissed. "I could have told my brother to escape."

"My dad would have guessed. He told me not to."

I shook my head. "Thanks, Rune. Thanks a lot. You sold out my brother because you were scared of what your dad might do. He gets his job. My brother loses his freedom, maybe even his life." I paused. "Nice to see how you balance things. Family first, right?"

"Holly, I didn't want to," he pleaded. "It was an accident."

"Everything's an accident with you, Rune Everett. Even you trying to rape me was an 'accident'." It was the first time that either of us had acknowledged the incident to each other since March. He flinched as though he had been struck.

"I thought you forgave me for that," he whispered.

"I thought I did," I replied harshly. "Maybe I shouldn't have."

"Holly-" He moved towards me.

"Get the hell away from me. As far as I'm concerned, I never want to see you or speak to you again."

"I'm sorry."

I turned to leave. Before I did, I looked back. "I just don't understand how you could look me in the eye for the last two months, knowing that you had betrayed my brother. I really don't."

I walked away, ignoring the sound from behind me.

The sound of crying.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

To my immense surprise, the story of Zac's capture was not in the paper the next day. I wondered whether this meant that he had escaped; as Rowland said, he had done it before. Maybe he'd done it again.

All through the day, people kept asking me why I was so edgy. I told Lysana what had happened but I didn't tell anyone else. I was still hoping that Zac would escape. When Devyn asked why I wasn't saying a word to Rune, I just said we had argued and he looked very happy about this. It occurred to me that, ironically, Devyn had been correct. Out of all of us, he was the only person who had thought Rune might do something else to hurt me and we had all dismissed him.

For the first time in weeks, I mumbled in my sleep. I dreamt that I was watching Zac have the Dementor's Kiss, despite having only ever seen a picture of Dementors and despite the fact that few cases resulted in the Kiss. It really should have been outlawed by now – there were so many pressure groups – but it still existed. I woke up on Tuesday morning to see Rhian standing above me, looking slightly perplexed.

"Hi," I said when she did not move.

"Why do you think your brother's going to get killed by Dementors?" she asked, puzzled.

"I don't?" I lied, trying to sound innocent.

"You've been sleep-talking about it for five minutes now," she pointed out. "You only talk like that when something's bothering you."

"I just had a nightmare. That's all."

She shrugged. "Alright. Come on, birthday girl. We need to get up."

I had actually forgotten that it was my sixteenth birthday that day because I was so preoccupied with worrying. I tried not to let it show as I got washed and changed. To cheer myself up, I thought of presents. Then I remembered that Zac had been arrested when he was going to give me one. Somehow, everything linked back to him. For someone who appeared to resent me half the time, I seemed to care about him a lot, I realised.

My entrance to the Great Hall was just like the one at the beginning of November. As soon as I entered, people started talking about me. The only difference was that I knew what they were talking about.

Devyn and Sandy got up and pulled me and Rhian back out of the room. Rhian looked startled. I tried to look startled but I couldn't quite manage it. I had a feeling I knew what was coming up.

Understandably, the first thing which was said was Rhian asking what the hell was going on. In answer, Devyn thrust a newspaper at the pair of us, with Zac's fifteen-year-old self smiling out, followed by his thirty-one year old self glaring out. I scanned the article and stopped when I read something strange.

_Aurors captured him at a cave near the town of Hogsmeade. He is believed to have been waiting for someone and Aurors suspect that this was his younger sister, a student at Hogwarts._

I stared at the line. How on earth did they know _that_? Then I remembered. Of course. Rune had told his father around what times Zac would be there because it was near my birthday. Mr. Everett must have told the paper.

The rest of the article explained the crimes, said he was currently in questioning, and Aurors were looking for witnesses. I glanced up, wary. Devyn pointed to the line which had caught my attention.

"What does it mean?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know." I wasn't sure why I was still lying, but I was.

"Holly," Sandy began and her voice was agonized, "stop it. This article isn't lying. You are."

"Huh?" I considered sounding outraged but I just couldn't put the effort in.

"Remember all that time ago, in January? After you and Devyn walked in and found Rhian and me?" I nodded numbly. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "And you spoke to me and then snuck out?" I nodded. "That's where you went, isn't it?"

There was no way out of this so I went for the truth. "Yes," I admitted. "I've been visiting him since November." I took a deep breath. "And I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise to tell you."

She looked away, hurt. Devyn took up the questioning. "Why didn't you tell any of us?"

"Zac made me promise."

"Again?" This was Rhian. "Do you do everything your brother tells you?"

I shrugged. "If it'll save his life, I do."

"Do you think any of us would have betrayed you?" Now Rhian sounded hurt.

"You might have done. Rune did." I grimaced. I hadn't meant to let that slip.

"I _knew_ Everett was no good," Devyn grumbled, before looking at me. "But you didn't seriously think the rest of us are like Everett?"

"All I know," I said slowly, "is that you don't even think my brother is innocent. I couldn't take that risk."

"How do you know that?"

I blushed. "I heard the three of you talking. I was going to say something but…" I trailed off. Sandy caught my drift.

"It's a bit awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"That's not the point," Devyn said. "Look, Holly, I'll be honest. I _don't_ think your brother is innocent. Sorry, but that's how I feel. But even though that's true, I wouldn't have betrayed him. I wouldn't betray one of my best friends."

"Me neither," Rhian vowed.

Sandy looked me in the eyes. "Holly, I can't believe you even thought we would do that. We're your friends."

"I know," I protested. "It's just, this is serious. My brother's life was on the line."

"All the more reason to trust your friends," Sandy pointed out. Then, the question I expected, although I still flinched when I heard it. "You trusted Rune. Why wouldn't you trust us?"

"I do trust you. I did. I wasn't even going to tell him. He found out by accident."

Devyn had his eyes closed and was breathing in deeply. He opened them and looked at me carefully. "Holly. Did anyone else know?"

"Professor Rowland did. And Langtree. And…" I stopped. It was better not to finish that sentence.

Rhian picked up on it. "Lysana Malfoy did," she finished for me.

"That was an accident too!" I protested. "When we were in Hogsmeade, I had to go and she got curious because I was with her and Rune."

"Why did you tell her, then? Why didn't you tell Sandy?" Rhian sounded confused now.

"Lysana confronted me. I didn't have any other option."

And suddenly, Sandy was furious. For the first time since I'd met her, Sandy was actually completely and utterly furious. It was weird. Sandy just didn't do 'furious'.

"So, to get you to tell me about your life, I have to _confront _you?" she shouted. Even Rhian looked taken aback. "You wouldn't even tell me unless I made you?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"So what did you mean?" This was Devyn who was, surprisingly, the calmest of us all.

"I… I don't know." I gave up all hope. "I don't even know what's going on anymore."

"Neither do I," Sandy muttered bitterly. Rhian put her arm around her.

"Well, what would you have done?" I said hopelessly.

"I would have told you. Because I trusted you." Trusted. Past tense.

"How do you know?" I challenged. "You didn't tell me about you and Rhian."

Devyn answered for her. "But she was planning on doing it. And you weren't. They didn't tell anyone and you told Everett and Malfoy. Do you trust them more or something?"

"No, that's not it at all."

"Then _what_ is it?" He finally sounded exasperated. "What could possibly be the reason you would tell them and not us? They both hurt you in some way. None of us have."

"What about when you found out about my brother?" I challenged.

"Merlin, Holly, we were angry! That was partly your fault too, you know. You kept secrets from us then too."

"Yeah, but, I didn't mean it."

"You don't mean anything, Holly," Devyn replied, his words strangely echoing mine on Sunday. "That's your problem. Maybe that's why you don't trust us. Because you don't even know what you mean."

"I do trust you."

"No, Holly," Rhian said. "You trusted us. Years ago. Before Malfoy hurt you in first-year." She paused. "I don't think you trusted anyone after that."

"I did. I do."

"If you trusted us, you would have told us about your brother."

"I was just doing what he said."

"Because it was necessary or because you thought it was necessary?" Now Rhian was also angry. I'd managed to make the three of them furious.

"Because it was necessary."

"Was it really? Why?"

"In case you accidently told someone."

"When would we ever be in that position?"

I stayed silent. I didn't know.

Sandy spoke up then, her voice still strangely bitter. "Face it, Holly. You never trusted us. There was a time you would have told us the truth about stuff. Before this. You've changed, Holly." Tears started to trickle down her face. My heart broke; this was really hurting her. "And I don't think you've changed for the better."

"I haven't changed." I tried to get that point across, doubt filling my mind. "I'm still Holly." I was still Holly, wasn't I?

"You're not the person you were," Devyn replied quietly. "You're someone else."

"But, everyone changes!" I cried. "It's not… I'm not… I'm not a different person."

"Are you sure about that?"

I began to say yes but I thought about it. I must have changed, somewhere in this year. Maybe they were right. "No," I admitted.

Sandy looked away. "Holly, maybe you shouldn't…maybe we shouldn't…"

"Be friends," I completed for her, my heart heavy. It sounded like we were in Primary School. I nodded, trying to stop my own tears from coming through. "Okay. I understand. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. You were my friends. I should have treated you better." Silence. "I'll go now."

I turned to go.

"We'll miss you," said Rhian softly.

"No," I whispered back. "You'll miss the old Holly."

"No, Holly," Devyn replied quietly. "We'll miss _you_. Whoever you are." He walked over to me and gave me a brief hug before walking back. "Happy birthday."

The bell rang. I picked up my bag and walked alone to Transfiguration. As I walked, students called out insults, declaring me a criminal who didn't deserve to live, saying my brother would get what was coming to him.

I sat in the back of Transfiguration by myself. As Professor Ramik began the lesson, a tear trickled down my cheek and landed in the ink pot.

I was sixteen years old today. My brother had been arrested and was being charged with murder. I had one friend left in school and everyone else would have gladly seen me going the same way as Zac.

Yes, Devyn, I thought.

Happy birthday to me.


	24. Preparing for Battle

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

**Disclaimer** **2:** Many aspects of the next few chapters are based on the English and Welsh legal system. Care has been taken to make these scenes as close to the English and Welsh system as possible. However, many aspects will be fictional and some will be based upon the American legal system. Therefore, the account of the proceedings of law should not be taken as more than fiction. Thank you.

Geth342: Here's the next chapter. Next update will be on 25th March. Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 24: Preparing for Battle

Only two good things occurred in relation to Zac's arrest. The first was that Neclor informed me that the examiners had unanimously agreed to give me Special Consideration because of the circumstances; by this point (Wednesday evening) I had already left two lessons in tears; one from the amount of teasing I was enduring and the other one…I didn't really know why. It started off because I couldn't do the task and I just broke down.

I wasn't even sure _why _I was so upset; I had never been incredibly close to Zac. But I had sort of grown closer to him over the last few months and part of me felt that his arrest was my fault. After all, I was the one who had brought Rune on my visits. I was the one who had trusted him, despite the fact that he had already proved that he was capable of being a monster. I was the one who Zac had risked his life to see. I was the one who had made no move to stop the Aurors as they arrested him.

Professor Rowland asked me a few questions after the second time and informed Professor Neclor that I was severely stressed due to the events. She looked like she was on the verge of tears herself – in fact, she looked worse than I did - and I wondered how hard she had taken my brother's arrest.

The second good thing came on the Saturday before the exams started. Lysana ran up to me, excitedly.

"I've got good news and bad news!" she informed me breathlessly. "Which one do you want to hear first?"

"Good news," I muttered. "I need some cheer."

She smiled. "The good news is that my father has been allocated to take on your brother's case. He's the defence advocate."

I looked at her. "How does that help? Not that I mind."

She grinned. "Because he'll have access to me and you. I've already told him everything I know and it'll be easier for you to talk about it to someone you know. And he'll be less inclined to throw the case."

"I didn't know your dad did defence," I murmured. "You said he worked on my brother's old case."

She laughed. "He did. He was on the defence side. That's why they re-allocated him."

"Oh, right." I shrugged. It certainly wasn't terrible. "So, what was the bad news?"

"My dad's in the case. That was meant to go first. Doesn't work if you pick the other way round."

Despite my mood, I had to laugh.

As it turned out, I actually had more 'friends' than I thought I had had, i.e. more than one. Cassius and Richard – who did not know for sure what Rune had done but suspected – told me that they could see no reason why I would tell them about going to visit Zac in the first place so why waste their energy on being mad. They, in all honesty, did not care about my brother.

Furthermore, Sephy displayed the same logic as she had in November; I wasn't a murderer, I had been helping her, where was the harm? Again, I was spending my meal-times by her and her friend. I wasn't even embarrassed.

Unsurprisingly, Louise Pritchard suddenly decided she did not know me although I did notice that she did not join in with teasing me. Surprisingly, however, Faith Weasley started sitting next to me in lessons, or near me, although we barely said a word to each other. She was the person who accompanied me out of Potions when I broke down. I wasn't sure why she was being nice to me either. We had spoken a few times but we didn't know each other well.

It didn't matter anyway because exams started the next week and then we were in arranged seating; also, we couldn't talk to each other.

My exams seemed to be a mixed-bag. My Charms and Potions exams went fine, but I lost my head in the Transfiguration practical exam and somehow turned my examiner's robes into a tea-cup. She didn't seem completely impressed but she did try to make me feel better.

Astronomy was equally bad; when I had five minutes left, I realised that for some reason, I had decided that Mars was actually next to Neptune and that Jupiter and several important stars had just been extinguished from existence. I also wasn't sure that the North Star was supposed to re-locate itself in the West.

My other exams ranged from good to bad. Generally, there was at least one good and one bad aspect of each and it didn't help that before each exam, a few people felt the need to make snide remarks about Zac.

Lysana's only comment about the entire exam process was that it was extremely hard to write a balanced answer about the conduct of her grandfather and great-grandfather when the question was so biased. I had to admit, I had imagined her reaction myself when I saw that question in the History of Magic paper.

The exams went on for nearly a month and by the time they ended, I felt like my entire life was dominated by examiners and papers. When I got the message that I was being taken out of school until the end of Zac's trial, I nearly decided to take my notes with me, just in case.

It was weird, leaving the castle. All the other fifth-years were relaxing and the seventh-years were doing their exams. Everyone else was revising for end-of-year tests. On the other hand, I had to pack my bags and leave by floo to go to the village near my house. Lysana came to the Headmaster's office with me, to say goodbye. Cassius, Richard and Sephy had all said goodbye to me earlier. Even Devyn waved when he saw me leaving the Common Room.

I think we all knew that if my brother lost this case (and even if he didn't) this would probably be my last time in Hogwarts. My parents were very much against the school after the assault and they had worked out that I was being bullied because of Zac. They wanted to send me to a Muggle school, despite the fact that I had no Muggle education past Year Six.

The fact was that this was probably the last time I would even see most of the students. That was why Lysana came with me to the office, although neither of us acknowledged it.

It was sort of sad.

I don't know whether the student population acknowledged my exit. The bullies must have done, when they realised they had no target, but the majority of people probably didn't care. Neclor and Longbottom both wished me good luck before I left.

My parents looked old. That was the first thing I noticed. I don't think it had ever really occurred to me but they _were_ quite old, for Muggles; my mother was fifty-six and my father was fifty-seven.

They also looked tired and vulnerable. It's a weird experience to look at your parents and see that they really are just as human as you. That they can be just as badly affected by something as you. In that instant, they changed from being the people I had argued with to people suffering just as much as I was.

That first evening was strange. None of us could quite acknowledge what had happened and the house was filled with quiet. It must have been worse for them; they had been living in fear of this happening since just after I was born and now it had happened.

In fact, the only comment that was made was in the evening, just before I went to sleep. My dad sat on my bed and stroked my hair, the way he did when I was little.

"Poor Holly," he murmured. "All of this in one year. First we hurt you, then that boy hurts you. And now Zac … and on your birthday too." He looked unbearably sad for a moment.

"I'm alright, Dad," I said as a way of cheering him up. He studied me intensely, his hand frozen in my hair.

"I don't know, Holly," he said. "I just wish…" He trailed off.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. I knew what he wished. He wished that I had never been in a position for any of the events to affect me. He wished that I had never had to deal with the consequences of Zac's actions. He wished that he had been able to stop Rune and so many others from hurting me. To be like one of those manly fathers in Muggle films and books.

Those events had probably made me into the 'new' Holly which the Ravenclaws had mentioned. Was it a good new, or a bad new?

"I know you do," I said eventually. Glancing up, I saw my mother standing in the doorway, looking equally sad. "I know you both do."

She nodded. "If I could change … something …" she murmured.

"I know," I replied.

There was silence. I wondered how we would look to an outsider. Would they sense the despair, or just see an idyllic family scene?

Dad got up after another minute and lightly kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight, Holly."

"Night, Dad. Night, Mum."

My parents left the room, switching the light off. I stared into the darkness.

"Night, Zac," I whispered.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

We visited my brother the next day. Ministry Officials had to transport us because my parents had no way of getting there themselves (neither did I, really). Once inside Azkaban, we were led to a small room. My brother was led in shortly afterward. He looked just as old as my parents did. Without a word, my mother gave him a hug as did my father. I stood by awkwardly. It occurred to me that my brother did not know that I had seen him be arrested.

We had a perfectly polite conversation for a while. My parents asked how he was doing (his answer of 'fine' seemed very stupid) and if he was being well-fed. He asked about my exams. Somehow, we avoided the fact that he was in prison.

After about half an hour, Zac suddenly informed us that his lawyer was coming in to speak to us. I wasn't really sure why Mr. Malfoy would want or need to speak to us but it was a bit late to object.

Before Mr. Malfoy came in, Zac suddenly looked at us with wild eyes and said, "I didn't do it. I didn't kill those people."

"We know," Dad replied calmly.

"We never thought you did," added Mum. I looked at the floor. There had been some moments of doubt before I had seen him that first time.

At that instant, Mr. Malfoy entered the room and the moment was shattered. It was weird to see him working rather than being Lysana's dad. He shook all of our hands and explained the situation.

"The court date has been changed to Monday, 5th July," he began.

"You're joking!" Zac spluttered. We looked at him questioningly and, to my astonishment, he blushed. "That's the date of the … that was when the Battle of Snakes was."

Mr. Malfoy nodded. "I know what you're thinking, Zac." Apparently my brother had gotten him out of the habit of referring to him as 'Mr. Carew'. "It does seem ironic, in a way, and I suspect that you will be up against much more than just the murder charges."

"_More_ than the murder charges!" Mum exclaimed. "How much more can he be charged with?"

"Well, Mrs. Carew, there is the matter of Zac's criminal dealings in the years between 2033 and now. There is also, of course, the matter of the events of 2033." Mr. Malfoy sounded bland, as though it did not matter much. He probably gave diagnoses such as this all the time.

"Mr. Malfoy," my dad began, "my son is on trial for the murders of four people this year. Surely they can't address any other issues in this court?"

"Ah, Mr. Carew, you're basing that on Muggle laws aren't you?" Dad nodded. "Wizarding laws are different. The trial will focus on the murders but if the presiding judge feels the need to address other crimes, they may have a part in sentencing; we may even have to argue out of that one."

"Doesn't that go _against_ justice though?" spluttered Mum.

Mr. Malfoy shrugged. "It's how we've been doing it for years. We need to make sure criminals are caught; they're far more dangerous than your criminals because ours can utter one spell and kill several people."

"And ours can use a few devices in one go and kill thousands," my dad replied stiffly. My eyes widened as I considered this. He was right. All you had to do in the Muggle world was set a bomb and you could kill hundreds. Use a nuclear one, as I had learnt in Primary school, and you could kill thousands. Even using just a few bombs could kill loads of people. Maybe Dad was right. Maybe the criminals were not so different.

"Very well, Mr. Carew. Perhaps now is not the time to discuss it?" Dad scowled but agreed. "Anyway, there is the danger of that, especially if we manage to prove that Zac did not commit the murders."

"How close are we to doing that?" asked Dad.

The lawyer hesitated before speaking. "I can't guarantee anything but I would say we were about average. I need to speak to Holly as will the Aurors undoubtedly." Seeing our confused looks, he explained, "Holly is known to have been visiting Zac. That could provide evidence. My daughter has already informed me that something which Holly has done could prove useful to the case, although she does not know what.

"In addition I have heard a few other witnesses and I believe that some of the evidence which the prosecuting side will use may help us."

"Which witnesses do you have?" This was Zac, speaking for the first time in a while.

"I can't discuss all of this with you. However, if Holly agrees to be a witness for the defence then I have her." I nodded, astonished that he would think that I would disagree. "Good. Two of the witnesses have said that I can name them but I believe you shall have to see for the others. The two witnesses are a Seifer Langtree and a Tamara Rowland."

Zac smiled, relieved.

"I have also been asked to tell you – all four of you – that one witness for the prosecution has sent me a letter saying that if you want to know his identity, then I may give it."

"Who is it?" Zac asked.

The lawyer looked at me, his grey eyes guarded. "Rune Everett. I believe he's a friend of Lysana's and Holly's-"

"He's no friend of mine," I said venomously. Zac nodded his approval. My parents looked disgusted. I had to admit, it was quite funny how none of us liked him.

"But you know him." I scowled and nodded. "I don't know why he wants us to know. Possibly, he has something up his sleeve which will help us."

"Or he could be trying to sabotage me," muttered Zac.

"His father is an Auror. I don't think he would do that," Mr. Malfoy replied mildly.

"He'll do anything to help his bloody father," I pointed out. I decided not to add that I thought he was probably trying to annoy me as a revenge for shouting at him.

"Don't swear, Holly," said Dad automatically. I pulled a face.

"Sorry."

"One more thing. Are you aware what will happen if Zac loses the murder case?"

"I'm not familiar with Magical laws, I'm afraid," Mum said. Dad nodded.

"He'll get the Dementors' kiss, won't he?" I asked dully. I had shouted that Zac might lose his life at Rune and by this I had meant his soul. But I had still been hopeful that the worst it would be was Life Imprisonment.

"In many cases, that wouldn't be the sentence – especially with the protest groups. But the Judge will consider his past crimes for certain. So, yes; if we lose, there is a very good chance that Zac will receive the Dementors' kiss." Seeing my parents confused looks, he explained the meaning of this sentence. They both looked appalled.

"His soul?" Mum shrieked. "They want to take away my son's _soul_?"

"That's barbaric!" Dad added.

"It's no different to a death sentence," my brother interjected tiredly. "It's just … not …"

"Zac, Britain doesn't _have_ a death sentence, remember?" When stressed, my father became very sarcastic, even in the face of his son's possible doom.

"Neither does the Magical world, technically," muttered Zac.

I shook my head. Trust Zac to get into an argument about his own death and the law.

Mr. Malfoy eventually diffused the argument by using the same idea as earlier; the discussion was very nice but irrelevant. We spoke for a while longer about Zac's chances until, eventually, we were told that visiting time was over.

As we left, I took a last glance at Zac. His blue eyes which had been so guarded and careless during the meeting were worried and his shoulders sagged. Until that moment, I don't think I realised just how realistic our chances of losing this case were.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Mr. Malfoy was right; the next day, an owl arrived asking me to go to London on a Saturday and meet with the Aurors working on this case to give evidence. I was confused as to why they had only asked me now but it seemed easier not to question them.

My parents gave me a lift up to London and then I had to follow the instructions I had been given; it felt a bit stupid going into a random telephone box and telling the phone that I was there for questioning but when I found myself in a foyer, it seemed less idiotic.

There was someone there to meet me; she took me to the offices without any other words than 'are you Holly Carew?' and 'come with me'. Once there, she sat me outside a room and ordered me to wait until I was called for.

I sat there for maybe twenty minutes before the door opened. I stood up, ready to go in, but instead, Professor Rowland came out and a woman's head (the woman from the arrest) poked around to tell me that they would call me in five minutes. I sat back down.

Rowland greeted me and I did the same, looking up at her as I did so. She looked awful. She was pale and tired-looking, as though she, too, had grown old overnight. I wondered what I looked like.

"Have you spoken to Zac?" she asked in a strained voice. I relayed our last visit to her and she nodded mutely. I studied her a bit more. She wasn't empty but she was broken. All of her looked crushed.

She reached into a bag and pulled out a sugar quill. Those things had always seemed too sweet for me but she seemed to like it. The gusto with which she ate suggested that she was either very hungry or worried. Comfort eating. And now that I thought about it, she did seem a bit plumper. This was the lady who was supposed to get me through my problems and she comfort ate?

I was feeling a bit irritable but when she said goodbye, I immediately felt guilty. Even that word sounded sad coming from her and I wasn't really in a position to judge her. She had been one of the few genuinely helpful people in Hogwarts and she deserved more than irritation. That being said, I put far too much cheer into my goodbye; it was supposed to be morale-boosting but it came out as though I was pleased to see the back of her.

The interview was a lot less scary than I had thought it would be. The Aurors did their best to put me at ease (neither Kinsella nor Jenkins were there which made me feel a lot better) and reassured me that it might be hard to talk about my own family.

I did feel edgy when I mentioned that I had been visiting my brother, especially when they asked when and where. I could not remember exact dates but I gave them a rough estimation and they raised their eyes at one point. I was grateful when they did not arrest me for consorting with a criminal.

I was not sure whether my statement would help or hinder Zac and I had been somewhat reluctant to talk. However, I couldn't exactly lie to a group of highly-trained wizards so I told as much of the truth as I thought I could spare, even when they asked about Zac's other activities, including the Battle of the Snakes.

By the time I was let out, my teeth were clenched from having to stop and think about what I was saying and I was worried that I had said something which could seriously hurt Zac.

The days until the trial dragged by. We visited Zac as often as we could and although he acted confident every time we saw him, it was easy to see that he was terrified. Of course, being in Azkaban with even a few Dementors didn't help him much. My parents were trying to remain composed as well but I had heard them talking late into the nights.

This one event could change our lives forever – for the worse.

On the morning of 5th July, we met Mr. Malfoy outside the court room. Zac would be taken in once we were settled.

"Are you ready?" he asked us.

We looked at each other. I wanted to say no. We'd never be ready. But that wasn't the answer Mr. Malfoy expected.

"Let's go," Dad said as an answer. Mum nodded and the lawyer pushed the door open. I took a deep breath as we walked inside. It was time. The final battle to save Zac's life had begun.


	25. A Judge of Character

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter

**Review Reply to Rosalie**: Thanks for reviewing and i hope this chapter was worth the wait :)

**Geth342**: First things first, all credit for the name of the Prosecutor goes to my friend Danie40 because she suggested it to me after i had writer's block and asked for help.

This chapter is dedicated to _Hurricane Rachel_ for not only reviewing but telling me where she disagrees with plot points and why, which is immensely helpful. So thanks!

The next update should be on 2nd April. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 25: A Judge of Character

The room slowly filled up. We were sat at the back while Mr. Malfoy went to the front of the room, behind a wooden barrier. A sharp-faced woman sat next to him. I guessed she was representing the Prosecution.

Zac was led into a wooden box-shaped area in the middle of the room. A few people booed him. He looked at the crowd, defiance written all over his face and terror plain in his eyes. Mum half-stood up, her arm stretched out as though she were trying to touch him. Dad gently pulled her back down.

Nearby, I spotted a blocky, dark-skinned man glaring at Zac, as well as a few clusters of people. I wondered whether these were the families of the murdered people. They seemed angry enough to be them.

"Court, please rise," intoned a voice. Without thinking, I jumped to my feet. I was relieved to see that everyone else had also done so.

A tall, dark man with deep-set eyes walked in. Mr. Malfoy and the woman bowed to him. The moment he sat down, half the room did too. The other half (including me) followed suit a few seconds later.

They called the Jury in next and made them swear to use what they saw to see that justice was done. Finally, the court clerk spoke.

"We are here to hear the case of Wizarding Britain vs. Zac Carew. Firstly, that Zac Carew murdered Adam Etasyl by use of the Killing Curse on 9th September 2048. How do you plead?" This was a formality, Mr. Malfoy had told us; Zac had already pleaded. This was in case he had changed his mind but, as the Jury were already here, this seemed unlikely.

Zac had stood up by this point. "Not guilty," he called; his voice was loud and clear.

"Secondly. That Zac Carew murdered Ryan Reaver on 3rd January 2049 by use of the _Imperius_ curse to force him to commit suicide. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

"Thirdly, that Zac Carew murdered Luke Borallis on 18th February 2049 by use of the Killing Curse. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

"Finally, that Zac Carew murdered Tanya DeKilwar on 18th April 2049 by strangulation. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty!"

"Very well." The clerk turned towards the Judge.

"Which witnesses will we hear from, Mrs. Blackmore, Mr. Malfoy?"

The woman stood up and listed her witnesses. They were mostly people I had never heard of, although I flinched when I heard Rune's name. Mr. Malfoy stood up at the end of this list and said a few other people whom I had never heard of, me, a few more random people and then finished with Professor Rowland and Professor Langtree.

Mrs. Blackmore went first. As Mr. Malfoy had said, Prosecution always went first in a case like this, although Defence sat closest to the Jury. How this was supposed to help us, I wasn't sure, but at least he knew what he was doing.

Her first witness was a nervous-looking man who had apparently seen a man of Zac's description hanging around the area where Adam Etasyl lived, as well as having seen him both enter and leave the house on the night of the murder. He seemed to have a very solid account of what had happened and the Prosecution's questioning took a while.

Just as I was beginning to feel that all hope had been lost, Mr. Malfoy began his cross-examination and then I realised why he was such a good lawyer. He started off innocently enough and would then, suddenly, pinpoint certain inconsistencies. Wasn't it dark when he first saw Zac? How could he know for certain who it was? After all, there were no up-to-date pictures of him. Why didn't he confront the strange man who was entering and leaving the house?

I had sort of expected that I would hate all the Prosecution witnesses and the lawyer but, after that first witness, I had to re-think. The woman was clearly only doing her job. She didn't seem to object to anything Mr. Malfoy said and vice-versa. Similarly, the witness didn't appear to be lying. More, as Mr. Malfoy pointed out, he was somewhat mistaken. Three times, he amended his account after realising certain things.

That first witness took most of the day. I had never realised that court proceedings were so _slow_. And boring. Unlike in books, the lawyers did not shout 'Objection' after every statement. In fact, they didn't even shout it once. They mostly referred to each other as 'my colleague' or 'my learned friend'. The questions were often repetitive and the Judge hardly ever spoke. In fact, the only good thing that came out of the first witness was that Mr. Malfoy managed to make it clear that it was almost impossible for the man to have gotten a clear view of Zac and to have identified him.

The next two days were devoted to three more witnesses who seemed to have seen Zac at different moments, although one was a handwriting analysist who provided a moment of humour.

Mr. Malfoy asked, wasn't it possible that Zac's handwriting could have changed? The witness went on in a very long, technical speech about the improbability of this occurring. By the end of it, most of the audience's eyes had glazed over. My brother looked quite shocked that anyone could get so much information about him from his handwriting at the age of fifteen. My father looked quite shocked that anyone could make handwriting sound so technical and boring.

The woman finished her speech and looked around. Mr. Malfoy jerked, as though suddenly remembering something. Probably that he was supposed to have listened to the speech. Mrs. Blackmore did the same.

It was the Judge who solved the problem. He looked at the woman kindly and said, "Would you mind explaining that again? Using simple language. Our Jury needs to be able to understand your points." Under his breath, he seemed to murmur something like, "I'd like to be able to understand it too."

This time, the speech was a lot shorter and everyone understood it. Mr. Malfoy was then able to effectively continue questioning her, his main point being that the handwriting could be a forgery and, what was more, some of the recent notes written by Zac seemed to suggest that his handwriting had changed, slightly.

By the time Rune was called up as a witness, I had no way of working out which way the trial was going for us. Mr. Malfoy had made some very good points but, equally, there was the problem of alibis and a known motive. In my mind, it was very much in the middle.

Mrs. Blackmore began the questioning. "You are the person who tipped off the Aurors to the whereabouts of Zac Carew?"

"Yes." He sounded bored. Zac stiffened and I knew he was glaring at the teenager.

"And how did you know about it?"

"I knew his sister and I knew they were visiting each other. My father and I guessed that he would be there near her birthday." I had a sudden urge to hex him. How could he be so cold?

So, you believe Zac Carew is guilty?"

"Nope."

The room fell silent for a moment. Mrs. Blackmore (and Mr. Malfoy) looked gobsmacked. She recovered quickly.

"You _don't_ think Zac is guilty?" she asked again.

"No."

"Then why," she asked in a confused voice, "did you tell your father where he was?"

He shrugged. "That was an accident. Besides, it didn't bother me. Better everyone see he's not guilty so him and his sister don't have to meet in caves every time they want to speak."

"Do you have any basis for believing he's not guilty?" The poor woman sounded as though she wished she hadn't gotten up that morning.

"Well, there's the fact he doesn't have it in him to kill anyone. I've met him, you know. He likes to act tough but he won't do it." He smirked now.

"Are you aware that he used the _Crucio_ curse on a man in the Battle of the Snakes?" This was news to me. Was this the 'horrible thing' I had heard about?

He shrugged. "Yes, but he was under some stress there, wasn't he? Besides, he didn't _kill_ anyone. He tried to stop that part."

"Some people would say torture is worse than killing."

"Yes, same as some would say that being a survivor is worse than being a victim. This isn't a philosophical discussion." He sounded amused.

"Mr. Everett, please do not be rude," the Judge reprimanded him.

"Sorry."

"How can you be sure that Zac Carew could not murder anyone?" Mrs. Blackmore sounded slightly desperate now.

"Oh, that's easy," he drawled. "His sister doesn't think he did it."

People turned to stare at me. I kept my eyes fixed firmly on Mrs. Blackmore, trying to work out how I had ended up being included in this.

"And why does this matter?"

"Have you met Holly Carew?"

"Well … no. I can't say I have, although I gather I will soon. I have a statement off her, if that helps?" A few people laughed at her tone of voice. She sounded very unsure.

"No, I don't need the statement. Holly is a very good judge of character. If she thinks her brother didn't do it then he probably didn't." I gaped at him. This really was news to me. Since when had I ever been a good judge of character? Seeing people's looks, I attempted to amend my face to one of someone who already knew this.

"What does she think of him, then?"

He shrugged. "She thinks he's a brave, strange man." He fell silent.

"That's it?" she asked after he didn't say a word.

"Well, I can't read her mind, can I? She doesn't talk about it much."

"Do you have any reasons for saying she's a good judge of character? I mean, she could be wrong. He is her brother. She would, presumably, trust him." It felt very weird to be spoken about in the third person.

He shook his head. "No, Holly doesn't trust people easily. And if you break her trust once, you have to work to earn it. He broke it and he had to work. I broke it once before and she never forgave me for it."

"You were friends, weren't you?"

He hesitated for the first time. Then, taking a deep breath, he said, "We were until she realised I was the one who tipped the Aurors off. But before that, we dated and that's when I hurt her. And even though she said she forgave me, it was only at the last minute that this became even partly true."

"How can you be sure about all of this?"

"Mrs. Blackmore, would you ever try to be friends again with someone who attempted to rape you?" he asked, completely serious. She shook her head, mute with the shock of this revelation. "Well, Holly tried. She thought that if I had done something bad once, I could do it again. And she also knew I was sorry. She made friends with me again but she never fully forgave me for what I did. If Zac had committed these murders, Holly wouldn't trust him. Holly wouldn't believe him."

"You sound very sure about this."

"I am."

She shook her head in despair. "Rune, do you have any _solid_ evidence that Zac did not kill any of those people?"

He shrugged. "Isn't that the Defence's question? Well, my evidence isn't _solid_. Why? Is yours?"

She opened her mouth and seemed to give up hope. "No further questions," she muttered. It was the quickest questioning I had seen so far.

Mr. Malfoy took up the questioning. He seemed quite startled by the ease of it as Rune was perfectly willing to help him.

This questioning consisted of Rune's visits to Zac and what he had heard. Rune maintained that Zac was innocent, explaining that we had talked about the Battle of the Snakes and life in general. It did not take long to question him either.

Before he left the Witness Stand, he frowned and then said, "By the way, sir, if I were you, I'd check my dates."

"Pardon?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I was just thinking about the visits … check your dates again, sir."

"Mr. Everett," interrupted the Judge. "Although I appreciate you helping justice along, I'd prefer it if you did not do it in my court." When Rune looked at him, confused, he added, "Try not to tell the lawyers how to do their jobs and please do not give hints. Jury, strike that from your minds."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Finally, the Prosecution witnesses were over. It had taken about two weeks for all the questioning to be done for them.

The main problem appeared to be the notes and motive. Both were damning evidence and I wasn't sure how we could argue out of it.

The first Defence witness was Zac. However, I didn't get to hear his testimony because, before I could set foot in court, one of the ushers bundled me out again and sat me in a Waiting Room, along with Professor Langtree and Professor Rowland.

I asked why we were being placed here and were told that some of Zac's testimony would mention us and it was important that we were not influenced by him. When I pointed out that Rune and Mrs. Blackmore had freely discussed my personality in front of the court and me, the usher said, in a dry voice, that no one had expected him to do that and by that point, it was too late. Now that I thought about it, I had never seen Rune before his questioning, nor some of the other witnesses.

The day was incredibly boring. I had no way of knowing what was going on and the other witnesses, Rowland and Langtree were, frankly, not the best company. Although they did try to keep us all amused.

I was the fourth person to be questioned. It was scary, standing up on the Witness Stand, knowing that I had part of my brother's life in my hands.

Mr. Malfoy started the questioning on an odd angle. "Now, Holly, you visited your brother a few times, didn't you?"

"Erm..." I licked my lips, looking around the room nervously. "I guess so."

"How many times would you say, overall?"

I was confused. Wasn't it in my statement? I counted on my fingers. "Five times, maybe?"

"Now, I gather you took advantage of Hogsmeade visits but you also left the School on term nights, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Could you tell me the dates of your visits and whether they were Hogsmeade days?"

"Objection!" Mrs. Blackmore called, startling us. "The majority of this is in her statement. Why is Mr. Malfoy following this unnecessary line?"

"Very good point," said the Judge. "Mr. Malfoy?"

"This is very relevant, my lord. I want to establish how well Zac could plan depending on whether Holly had a pre-planned date or whether it was circumstance. And one other thing, sir. But this is relevant."

The Judge raised an eyebrow. "Very relevant?"

"Extremely."

He sighed. "Fine. Objection denied for now, Mrs. Blackmore."

"Thank you, my lord. Holly, could you answer the question?"

"Um…" I thought for a moment. "The first one was… November. Early November. I think it was the 15th? And that was a Hogsmeade visit."

"Was anyone with you? Maybe you could add those in?"

"Oh, right," I said hurriedly. "Yeah, Rune was with me and Professor Rowland came in later." I thought again. "The next one was in early December. That was a Hogsmeade trip as well. Rune came with me, Professor Rowland was already there."

"The date?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "4th, maybe?"

"That was a Thursday," replied Mr. Malfoy after checking something.

"Oh, right. Well, it was probably the 6th then. I never snuck out till after New Year." I paused, thinking. "Next visit was in mid-January. I think that was a weekend but it wasn't Hogsmeade. I snuck out for that one so it was just me and Zac."

"Any guesses at the date?"

I screwed my face up. "Somewhere between the 15th and 20th?"

He checked his notes. "So, either the 18th or the 19th, if it was a weekend. Now, I imagine there was a Hogsmeade visit on Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, but I didn't go then. I was with a friend that day." I quickly blocked out the memories of that day. Now wasn't the time to remember. "I went the next week. 21st, I guess. I snuck out then so it was just me and Zac again." I thought again. "The last time was in April, on a Hogsmeade visit. Professor Langtree was there too."

"You say April. What date?"

"Um … mid-April … a Saturday."

"Holly, this is very important." His voice was urgent. "What was the date of your trip?"

I thought for a moment. The weird debate meeting had been two weeks before. On the first Saturday of April. I asked for that date and was then able to give my answer. "18th April."

"What time were you there?"

That threw me. I thought quickly. "It would have been between twelve in the afternoon and three or four. Professor Langtree was there before I got there."

People began to murmur. Mr. Malfoy looked triumphant. "So you were there with him over one o'clock. Definitely?"

I thought it over. "Yes."

"Do you know when Tanya DeKilwar was murdered?"

I considered this. The clerk had said it earlier, hadn't he? What date was it? Then, I remembered and it suddenly slid into place. "18th April," I said slowly. "She was murdered then."

"Yes, and she was murdered in her house by a man. A maid saw it. But, ladies and gentlemen, my point here is this. If the murder took place at one o'clock in the afternoon, and Zac did commit it, then who was Holly visiting?" He paused. "I would like to suggest that Zac was nowhere near the murder scene. He was, in fact, in Hogsmeade with Holly and one of the school teachers. As this was a visit which was already scheduled, there was less chance of Zac being able to miss it, as he might have done on a visit left to chance."

He questioned me a bit more about Zac's responses to certain things. I emphasised that we spoke about his past a lot and that I fully believed that he was innocent. The questioning took up most of the morning and by the end of it, I found myself wondering what Mrs. Blackmore could possibly ask me. I had discussed almost every aspect of my visits to Zac and other people's visits.

It turned out that there was quite a lot that I could be asked. She started the questioning by challenging me on topics which I spoke about when either Langtree or Rowland were there. I was not completely sure what the topics were and admitted to this at least three times, unsure of whether I should have made it up. I did have a few guesses though, when she asked me to.

She then brought up the question of Zac's motive.

"Are you aware that your brother has a known motive for killing these people?"

"Yes. But so do plenty of other people."

She nodded. "Your brother especially hated Adam Etasyl, didn't he? I propose that he wanted revenge on him, because of what he did."

Something occurred to me. What I knew and what she knew might be different. "What do you think he did?" I asked. "I mean, I heard that people heard one thing and Zac had another story."

She looked confused. "Adam Etasyl was in your brother's year. They argued before Zac started the Battle."

"Hang on," I replied. "I thought that _Adam _started the battle."

"Some people think he did. But this is irrelevant, Miss Carew. The fact is: your brother and Mr. Etasyl hated each other."

"Okay."

She waited and then realised that I had nothing else to say. "I propose that your brother was angry because he got the blame."

"I thought he was angry because that girl died."

"That is irrelevant. The point is: Zac was angry at all four of these victims because of those events. He has a motive. Can you deny that?"

"No," I said slowly, "but why would he choose this year to do it? He had years and years."

"The mind of a murderer is not the point here."

"I thought it was," I muttered under my breath. Seeing her glare, I added, "I just think this year seems like a very long time away. Zac had a life. He didn't need to ruin it. And I don't think he even hated Luke Borallis or Tanya DeKilwar. Actually, he told me he liked Ryan Reaver. Whatever happened at the battle, I don't think he wanted to kill them."

"He tortured a man at the battle."

This was the one thing I did not know about but it wouldn't hurt to take a shot. "Didn't he murder Shelly Grant?" I asked.

"That is not relevant to the discussion."

"But, I think-"

"Miss Carew," she said, her voice suddenly icy, "I am the one asking the questions here."

"Objection!" We all turned to look at Mr. Malfoy who had stood up. I blushed. Two objections in the whole case and they were both to do with me. "Holly Carew is raising a valid point and my learned colleague is trying to divert it and imply that what Holly is saying is a lie. I think the Jury needs a clarification of the events of the Battle."

The room fell silent as the Judge considered this. Then, he nodded. "Sustained. The point which you are discussing needs the Battle of the Snakes to be clarified. Mr. Malfoy, would you like to explain the point which Miss Carew is trying to get across?"

He nodded. "I believe Holly is referencing the end of the Battle. The established facts are these: Zac Carew saw a student – presumably Ryan Reaver – attack his friend Tamara Rowland. He cursed Mr. Reaver and found that Tamara was seriously injured so he moved her. In order to get her the help she needed, Zac set up a distraction long enough to get the room's attention.

"He pleaded for the fight to come to an end, citing Tamara's condition and the original ideas behind the Battle – that Slytherins should be treated equally – as reasons. It is unknown whether this would have happened but, Michelle Grant walked forward to say something. It is thought that she was going to support Zac.

"At the same time, one of the wizards who had been snuck into the school, Daniel Skoloro, shouted at Zac and attempted to curse him. Zac tried to shield himself but accidently deflected the spell and it hit Michelle Grant. Her head hit the floor too hard and, coupled with the effects of the spell – which caused severe internal bleeding – she died almost instantly.

"Zac checked the body for signs of life and, finding none, shouted that Daniel Skoloro had killed her. Mr. Skoloro is reported to have 'laughed' at this. Zac, incensed, performed the _Crucio_ curse on him. He was stopped by Michelle Grant's boyfriend."

The Judge nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. I hope that clears up any misconceptions?"

It took me a few seconds to realise that this was directed at me. "Oh, yeah," I stuttered. "Thanks." There was an expectant silence and I realised that everyone was expecting me to speak. When had I become the person in charge? "So, um, I guess I meant that, wouldn't Daniel Skoloro be his first victim? Or Ryan Reaver?"

"There is one view that Adam Etasyl, rather than Zac Carew, may have been responsible for some of the Battle. That Battle cost your brother his freedom. He may have wanted revenge."

"But why would he pick sixteen years later to do it? And why would he attack Tanya DeKilwar or Luke Borallis?"

"Miss Carew," the Judge interjected, "although this is rather interesting, may I suggest that the proper format be replaced. Could Mrs. Blackmore please ask the questions?"

I blushed. Mrs. Blackmore looked slightly abashed and proceeded to carry on the questioning.

Although I had cleared up any doubt which Mrs. Blackmore had been trying to create (that Zac had somehow been directly responsible for the death of Michelle Grant/ his attack on Daniel Skoloro had been unprovoked – neither of which were true) I had now brought in the Battle. The woman proceeded to question me fiercely about it and how Zac had acted about it.

By the time I was let off the stand, it was the end of the day. I was tired and numb. All I could think was that I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing up there. I was too confused.

As I tried to sleep that night, one thought swirled around in my head. Had I saved my brother or damned him?


	26. Relationships

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter.

**Geth342:** There will be two more chapters after this one. The next update will be on 12th April - earlier, if i can manage it. Anyway, i hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 26: Relationships

Professor Rowland was called up at the beginning of the fourth week. It was quite strange to think that I had spent a month going to court; when an Owl arrived with my results, I got a shock: I had completely forgotten that I had even taken exams.

The OWL results were actually good news; I had gotten _Outstanding_ in Potions, Charms, Herbology and Ancient Runes; _Exceeds Expectations_ in Arithmancy, Defence Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic; _Acceptable_ in Transfiguration and a _Dreadful_ in Astronomy (so, clearly, the North Star _was_ supposed to stay in the north). I was pleased that I had not failed Transfiguration and that I had done so well in Potions and Charms. Astronomy was a pity but I had never been any good at it anyway.

In the course of everything that was happening, it became minor news. While this might have irritated me once, I felt the same way – I barely looked at my results sheet after reading it the first time.

By the time court started, I was so used to the proceedings that the moment I saw the usher open his mouth, I stood up, as did several other people. We listened to the Judge call us all to order and to the clerk explain what the case was and then they asked for Tamara Rowland to take to the stand.

She looked terrified. It surprised me because I had never seen Professor Rowland being scared. She had always seemed so calm in the face of anything. What was so different now? Whatever her face looked like, it didn't show in her voice. She spoke calmly and quietly, no tremble present in her tones.

Mr. Malfoy managed to uncover the fact that Rowland had seen Zac on 18th February – that had been when she had told Zac about Rune's assault on me – and had met with him several more times; more times than I had.

Because I had brought it up, Mr. Malfoy also asked about the Battle but chose to ask about the aftermath - emphasising how much Zac regretted it and how good a person he was – and before it. This included Zac apparently warning her to escape before it happened and a few other incidents. She mentioned that Zac had told her later that nothing malevolent had happened until he was gone for a few days. The court seemed to think he had gone because of an emergency with my father.

When had my father ever been ill, I found myself wondering. Or at least, so ill that my brother would have to leave Hogwarts? I didn't remember anyone ever mentioning that to me. Not even in casual conversation. Now why was that?

I thought about it a bit more. This was around mid-June. That would have been a month after I had been born. Why had no one mentioned my father being ill to me since?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I felt sorry for Mrs. Blackmore. All the unexpected points and queries seemed to be raised with her questioning and this was no different.

She started off by asking Rowland about the visits and her alibi and it seemed to go well enough, although I could see that some of the Jury doubted Professor Rowland. Then, she asked about the Battle. It was the first question which got her.

"My learned friend seems to have missed out the actual details of the battle, so, Tamara, could you tell us what happened?"

Rowland looked bemused. "Well … no. Sorry."

"Why not?" Now the Prosecutor also looked confused.

"I thought you knew," she said quietly. "I don't remember anything about that day." People muttered amongst themselves. "Mr. Malfoy seemed to know so I thought it was written down."

Mr. Malfoy stood up. "My lord, this is an error on my part," he said graciously. "Miss Rowland told my client that she could not remember the events – he informed me of this and I thought I had put this in the Record. It seems I did not."

The Judge sighed. "Very well. Jury, note that down. Mrs. Blackmore, you may continue."

"Now, Tamara, you say you can't remember the day. Why is that?" She sounded as though she was having a bad day. I thought it might actually be a bad month.

"I was badly injured in the fight. One of the injuries was to my head. The Healers told me the memory of the actual day might never come back and I guess it hasn't." She shrugged. "I'm not sure I'd want to remember it."

"Why is that?" asked Mrs. Blackmore immediately, thinking she had gotten something.

Rowland stared at her. "Because," she said slowly, "Shelly – Michelle Grant – was my best friend and I don't want to have a memory of her being murdered."

"Right, yes." Mrs. Blackmore blushed.

"I remember some things from afterwards, if it helps?"

"Afterwards?" She brightened up.

"The coma."

"Yes, well, if it's relevant…" The woman gave up all hope.

"I don't know. I mean, people came and told me different versions of what happened that day whilst I was asleep."

"Which version do you believe?"

She shrugged. "I believe the version which says Adam Etasyl started the Battle. And the one which says Zac was sorry for everything that happened." She hesitated and then added, "By the way, you _do_ know that Zac never met Tom Howell, right?"

Mrs. Blackmore sighed. "I am aware of this, yes."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now, you say Zac was sorry for everything that happened. How do you know?"

"He told me. He really regrets it. I don't think he ever wanted Shelly to die."

"And you believe him?" She sounded scornful. "Zac Carew was known as a talented liar. I propose that he lied to you."

"Haven't you ever been in a situation where you just _know_ someone is telling the truth?" The poor prosecutor was being asked a lot of soul-searching questions this month. Once again, I felt sorry for her.

"No," she replied bluntly.

"Oh." Tammy thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I can't explain it then."

I resisted the urge to put my head in my hands. Somehow, I doubted that Rowland's response would have much use.

Suddenly, Mrs. Blackmore perked up. I had a sinking feeling. Whilst it was good that the woman was now less depressed, this very fact was undeniably bad for us. "Tamara, you said you preferred the version of the Battle which said Adam Etasyl began it and that you heard this in your coma."

"Yes…"

"Now, my question is, you were in a coma for a year?" Rowland nodded. "And everyone who would visit you would have been your family. This being the case, why would they think that Adam Etasyl started the Battle? After all, they didn't even know he existed."

"Well, maybe someone heard something…" Rowland tried to look innocent. "I don't know who visited me. I didn't even know how long I'd been asleep until I woke up."

"Do you know that sneaking into the rooms of St. Mungo's is illegal?"

"Yes."

"Now, who do you think could have told you about Adam Etasyl?"

"No idea."

"I propose that it was Zac Carew, sneaking in to tell you."

"I … I disagree." Rowland replied haltingly. People looked past her to stare at Zac, who looked surprisingly startled that he was being involved in this. Surprising because this was a trial against him.

"On which grounds?"

"There's no proof!"

This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. Mrs. Blackmore instantly explained exactly how much proof there was and, by the end of it, Rowland was blushing furiously.

It was strange to see her react like me.

By the time her interrogation finished, I was filled with a hopeless feeling. She had given Zac an alibi. And she had more or less damned him in every other aspect.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Maybe someone should have warned Rowland before she got there," a voice murmured thoughtfully to me, as we waited to get food after the case had been closed for the day. We needed to discuss something with Mr. Malfoy, who was busy with another case. "That wasn't the smartest thing to say."

"Yeah, well, I guess she was nervous," I replied, turning to look at the speaker. "Oh," I said with disgust. "It's you."

Rune smiled. "Nice to see you too."

"Go away."

"That's a bit hard when I'm behind you in the queue."

I rolled my eyes. "You've always got to be so bloody smart." What was he doing here anyway?

He grimaced. "Sorry. I keep annoying you, don't I?"

I looked at him. He did look sorry. I sighed. "Don't worry. I'm just annoyed because I owe you now, after everything you did."

Now he looked confused. "You owe me?"

"Yeah, for, you know, sticking up for my brother. Even if you did decide to embarrass me in the process."

He smirked. "That's part of the fun." I scowled at him, so he added, "Besides, you don't owe me. You're supposed to tell the truth in court. So I did. Mostly."

"Mostly?" I couldn't help asking.

"Well, the odd misconception of the truth never hurt anyone."

I laughed without thinking, and stopped myself. Forcing my features into a scowl, I asked him what he had lied about.

"Oh, that stuff about not caring about whether your brother got arrested or not. I cared."

"You did," I repeated sceptically.

"Yep."

"You hate my brother," I pointed out.

"I don't _hate_ him. I just think he's an idiot," he said as though that made it better. "Besides, I did care. If he hadn't been arrested, we'd still be friends."

I shrugged. "I doubt it. You promised you wouldn't do anything to hurt our friendship. You're not good at keeping promises."

"I also promised that if I screwed things up, I'd find a way to fix them," he replied quietly. "And I tried."

"So where does that leave us?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what else I can do."

"I don't think there is anything," I muttered. "I just don't know if I can trust you." It felt odd to talk about trusting someone, when not doing that had lost me my own friends in Ravenclaw.

"So, give me a chance," he replied. "Nothing wrong with chances."

"You _had_ a chance. You messed it up."

"I know."

"So."

"So."

"I guess that's it," I said. "I guess there's no way out of it."

"I guess so."

"Next, please." I moved up and ordered my food.

Before I turned to go, Rune suddenly said, "I'm going to get out of it. That's what I do best. You'll see, Holly. I'll keep my promise."

I stopped with my tray. "Tell me when you do it," I replied sarcastically.

He grinned. "I will do it. Where's the fun in being friends, otherwise?"

Next, please," the worker called impatiently.

"We're not friends."

"Yet," he said. "But, tell me, Holly. Are you really that much happier with me gone?"

"Yes," I snapped.

He laughed. "And you said that in the tone of voice which means you want to prove me wrong."

He was right but I couldn't admit it.

"I _don't _miss you."

"_Next_, please."

"Say that calmly."

"Fine," I snapped and took a deep breath. "I do miss you." I stopped. "No, wait, I meant don't."

We both knew what I really meant though.

He smirked. "Okay, if we're going that way, I don't miss you either. Now we're both liars."

"Goodbye, Rune," I said, trying to sound exasperated. Oddly, I didn't feel annoyed anymore. The corners of my lips were trying to smile, but I refused to let them.

"Bye, Holly," he called back cheerily. I walked away, trying to scowl. I'd already decided I couldn't trust him. One good act didn't change that.

But I did miss him.

"I'm glad you settled that," an irritated voice said from behind me, "but next time, could you and your girlfriend have soul-searching conversations _after_ you order your food? Now what do you want to eat?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Professor Langtree was the last witness to be called. Unlike Rowland, he looked quite normal. Almost as though being asked to testify in trials was a normal occurrence for him.

Mr. Malfoy instantly brought up the question of 18th April, establishing whether he had been in the cave. His confirmation was so strong that even Mrs. Blackmore – later – had trouble disputing it. He had a very confident way of speaking which seemed to leave you in no doubt that what he said was nothing less than the gospel truth.

He talked his way smoothly through the murders, stating how well he knew Zac and the victims and how unlikely it was that Zac was the murderer. He even managed to explain the Battle of the Snakes. For the first time, I heard an account of what happened when Zac went to visit my father; how Adam convinced people that Zac wasn't taking his position as the 'leader' of their plan seriously; how he threatened some people and ignored those closest to Zac. How Zac had stopped the torture of a young girl.

For the first time, I wondered exactly what Zac had been like when he was my age. He sounded very different than me. He sounded confident, brave and even kind. If it wasn't for the similarities in our looks, I had a feeling it would have been impossible to guess we were related.

Mrs. Blackmore took up the questioning the next day with trepidation. She seemed to be alright with the alibis, furiously interrogating him about exactly what was said – trying to trip him up in comparison to what I said. But still, Langtree took it confidently.

Then she questioned him about the Battle of the Snakes and, again, he answered confidently. The only thing he said which shocked everyone was what he thought Rowland and Zac's relationship had been like.

"Well, they _were_ boyfriend and girlfriend so I'd say…" The room fell into stunned silence. Zac and Rowland both had a look which clearly indicated that they would like to hurt him. "Okay," he said hastily, "I guess I meant-"

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" asked Mrs. Blackmore. She looked at Mr. Malfoy who shrugged. This was news to him too.

"Ah, yes, well, you know."

"Mr. Langtree, would you please elaborate?" interjected the Judge. Langtree opened his mouth. "And use full sentences. With substance."

I had to admit, the Judge made me laugh.

Langtree looked sheepish. "It's not like it was for very long. Just a few weeks I think. They were close." Looking around the room, he added, "and I'm guessing no one mentioned that, did they?"

Rowland put her head in her hands. Zac looked like he might kill his best friend if he ever got his hands on him again.

"No, Seifer, they didn't," Mrs. Blackmore said.

"Ah. Yes, well, I imagine they were getting around to it." Exactly how either of them could have been 'getting around to it', I wasn't sure but Mrs. Blackmore seemed to have decided not to pursue the point. Maybe because anyone could see that he was lying.

"You say they were close?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "Would you say they're close now?"

"Well, he's in prison…" He saw the look on her face and remembered that joking wasn't a good idea. "I don't know. Possibly. I know she met up with him a lot." Seeing her look, he protested, "What? It's not like I kept a marker of everything the pair of them did."

If anything, he was worse than Rune.

"Indeed," murmured Mrs. Blackmore, her face as bland as possible. "But would you say they were 'dating' again?"

An odd look passed over his face as he glanced, first at Zac, then at Rowland. He seemed to be considering the idea, but there was still something strange about his expression. Finally, he said, "No. I don't think so. Not many dating opportunities when you're on the run."

And, suddenly, the expression disappeared and he was his normal, confident self.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

After Langtree's questioning, the only parts left were the Judge's speech and the decision by the Jury and Judge – something which I didn't quite understand: apparently, the Judge could make a separate verdict on separate issues. This was all due to start the next day; 6th August. Judgement day.

In the evening, we stayed behind to speak with Mr. Malfoy and Zac. My brother looked frantic. My parents looked worried. Mr. Malfoy looked tense. I probably did not look much better.

Zac breathed in. "So, what's the status report?"

"Good news and bad news," replied Mr. Malfoy. "Which one first?"

We glanced at each other. Then, Zac said, "What the hell, I gotta hear them both. Let's go for good."

"Okay. The good news is I think the only murder you could be convicted of is Adam Etasyl's, and that one's questionable. I think our case was solid."

"Yes!" shouted Zac, swinging a fist up in the air. My parents smiled with relief and hugged him.

"What's the bad news?" I asked.

"The bad news is," Mr. Malfoy took a breath, his face deadly serious, "there's a very good chance that the Jury will have Zac found guilty of causing the deaths of Michelle Grant and Tom Howell by starting the battle and the Judge may use this in his separate verdict."

Zac's face dropped. "What?"

"I discussed this with Mary – that's Mrs. Blackmore, obviously – and we both think that Zac's activities in the years since and the Battle will count against him. There seems a high chance that the Judge will rule that Zac will never improve his behaviour and is a danger to society."

"I am not!" Zac spluttered. "I never did anything."

"The company you ran?"

"Well, apart from that. It's not like I could have gone to the Job centre and said 'hey, sign me up, will you?'"

"Feel free to explain that to the Judge."

Zac glared at him. "Very funny. Almost like it's not my life on the line here."

"Oh, it isn't. You'll probably get a long prison sentence."

"Oh, joy," muttered Zac under his breath. "I'm beginning to hate that Judge."

"Don't. That Judge is one of the nicest ones. We were lucky to get him. Any other Judge would probably not have allowed us so much leeway."

"We had leeway?" This was news to Zac. And me.

"A fair amount. But he's a real 'sweetheart'. He likes to make sure that everything which can be said is said."

"Good for him." Zac was now in a bad mood.

"It's not certain," said Mr. Malfoy softly. "There's always the off-chance you'll be found completely innocent."

Zac laughed sarcastically, shaking his head. "No offence, Mr. Malfoy, but off-chances don't just happen. You've got to create them. And we've run out of time."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

It was my parents who gave me the idea.

When we got home, I asked my dad what he had been ill with. I don't know why I asked. Maybe I needed something to focus on, other than the possibility of my brother being put in Azkaban for ages.

He told me that it was scurvy in a very absent-minded voice. I considered that. Scurvy was not a common disease and, somehow, I thought it unlikely that my father had had it. So I asked my mother.

She informed me that he had had Glandular Fever. This seemed more likely but, why would Dad say scurvy? Why were their stories different?

It occurred to me that, once again, I was being lied to. What else could have happened at that time, to make Zac come home? That would be June. After his OWLs.

When I finally realised why he had come home, I felt incredibly stupid. The answer was obvious and I should have guessed it straight away. But, then, a crazy plan snuck into my head and, through the night, I plotted.

Mr. Malfoy had said that Zac was in danger of being sentenced on three things. One, that Zac had been the cause of the Battle. Two, that Zac was a potential danger to society and three: that he would never improve from his illegal activities. And only an off-chance would help him now.

Well, as Zac said, off-chances had to be created.

As we sat down in court the next day, my body hummed with nervousness. What I was about to do was stupid. But I couldn't let me talk myself out of it. I had to be brave. After all, there had been a time – once – when I had been just as brave as Zac. In my first-year, I had been brave. I had stood up to people and I had stood up for myself. I may have changed but surely, what could change once could change right back. Surely I was still Holly Carew?

Even if I wasn't, I could at least pretend to be brave. I was a good liar. That's all I had to do. Lie to myself. Pretend I was brave enough to do this. That would make it easier.

The case was re-introduced and, as soon as the Judge began to speak, I stood up.

"My lord," I called out loudly, "may I speak?"

People turned to stare at me. My mother asked me what I thought I was doing. The clerk and usher did not look impressed.

"What do you want to say … Holly Carew, isn't it?" His voice was interested.

I gulped. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry for interrupting but, I really want to say something. And, I think it's really important."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really important?" he asked and, suddenly, I knew I had a chance. Mr. Malfoy was right. This Judge was different.

"Very."

He considered this for a minute and then sighed. "It is unorthodox. Only the advocates should speak. But," he pulled a face, "this whole case has been unorthodox. I was genuinely surprised to get to the end in one piece. This being true … if it really is important then you have my permission to speak." He sighed again. "_Try_ to make sure it's relevant. And short. I'd like this case done soon."

"Yes, sir," I squeaked. "Thank you." Then, praying my legs wouldn't just give way, I slowly made my way out of the public gallery at the back of the room and over to the Witness Stand. This was it. Time to put my plan into action. Time to create an off-chance.


	27. The Truth

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form.

**Geth342:** The final update will be on 13th April. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 27: The Truth

It was a bit hard to know where to begin – suddenly, all my planning seemed very silly. I tried not to look at Zac; I had the feeling he would mouth something along the lines of 'Holly, please go away'.

"I'm not going to talk about the murders because I think there's enough evidence to clear Zac," I began, wondering if this was the right approach to take. "Except for the murder of Adam Etasyl." I took a breath.

"The general idea that everyone's acting on is Zac either started the Battle of the Snakes, or blames Adam for starting the battle. Well, it couldn't be both. One of them had to start it, right?

"If Zac started the battle, then he doesn't have any motive for killing Adam Etasyl, apart from a solid dislike. That's not a reason. I don't like a lot of people in Hogwarts. It doesn't mean I'm going to kill them. They're more likely to kill _me_, if anything."

A few people in the back chuckled, stopped only by the Judge's glare. Some of the tension left me. This was easier than I expected. Of course, staring at the wooden stand was helping a lot.

"Besides, why would he suddenly get the urge to kill him, so many years later? Wouldn't he want to kill that wizard who actually murdered Michelle Grant?" I shrugged. "But we already went over that. If Adam started the battle, Zac has a motive but then, he isn't guilty of starting the battle. You need to pick one or the other." I paused to let this sink in, before continuing.

"I suppose, if you want to be technical, you could say Zac started it because he had that plan. But Zac never wanted it to turn to violence. He wasn't directly responsible. And you could say Adam started it because he convinced other people that it might be a good idea. But Adam wasn't alone so he wasn't directly responsible either.

"But you still want a cause. A catalyst." I pulled a face. Exactly where I was going with this, I didn't know (in my nervousness, I had completely forgotten what I wanted to say. I was winging it now), but it seemed like a good idea. "If we're going to be technical, then it started when Zac went away in June. But he didn't go to visit my dad." I took a deep breath. "He came to visit me. I was born a month before. I'm the catalyst."

This was met with muttering. Zac and Mr. Malfoy both gave me a look which clearly said 'what the hell are you talking about?' That was actually a very good question but, as soon as I saw their faces, I knew what to say next.

"That sounds stupid. I mean, I had no control over what happened. I was one month old. I didn't even know magic was real. So, why don't we blame my parents? After all, they're the ones who conceived me and gave birth to me." I focused on the stand. At least that way, I couldn't see my parents' faces.

"Miss Carew: is there a point to this?" asked the Judge in a pained voice. I winced.

"Yes, sir," I called back. "This is my point. You can't put the blame on just one person. If we're going to put it all on Zac or Adam, why not put it on me for being born? Why not put it on my parents for having me? Why not put it on Hogwarts for having exams over my birthday?

"The Battle of the Snakes was really complicated. Loads of things influenced it. Who caused Tom Howell's death? That would be whoever attacked him. But you say it was Zac because he 'started' the battle. Well, no, he didn't. All the Slytherins started the battle. All of the other students joined in. There isn't one single person who could be the lone perpetrator.

"If you convict Zac, then you're convicting one person for the actions of many. If you need to convict someone, convict me for being born." My voice was quiet by this point and the room seemed to be following my every word. I vaguely hoped no one took me seriously on the offer. I didn't particularly want to go to Azkaban.

The Judge chose this moment to interject again. "I would just like to make it clear that we can't convict you in this trial as you're not the defendant."

I glared at him and then remembered who I was doing it to. "Well, give me a different trial then."

"Can we move on, or is that it?" At least he was smiling. That was a good sign.

Giving up now would be worthless, I decided. "No," I said, "I have more."

"Then, go ahead."

I coughed nervously. "Thanks. So, uh, if you do or don't believe any of that, the other point would be how Zac reacts to situations; whether he would hurt anyone or even kill. I think to answer that, we have to see what he did before.

"Zac couldn't really do anything legal because he was running away from the Aurors. He shouldn't have done it but he _was_ only sixteen years old. He was scared and under a lot of stress. That doesn't mean he is anymore.

"If my brother really was violent and prone to hurt those who hurt him then he wouldn't have been able to set up his business. It's on the internet, so it can't be completely illegal."

"Could you clarify what the internet is for the Jury?"

I had a sudden urge to laugh and fought to control it. I wasn't even sure where I was going with my speech and the Judge's biggest concern was that the Jury wouldn't know what the internet was.

I stuttered through an explanation of the internet, my mind working furiously. I needed something which would show that Zac was basically harmless. That he wouldn't hurt anyone. At least, not now.

"Have you understood that?" asked the Judge. The members of the Jury nodded. "Good. You may continue, Miss Carew."

"Okay," I squeaked, still thinking. If I didn't manage this, then Zac would probably be doomed. And it would be my fault.

My fault.

That was it. That was what I needed here. I'd already said the battle could be perceived as my fault. What if I took that one step further? After all, I already knew Zac resented me and, thinking about it, this was probably why. This was perfect.

"If Zac was someone who is often violent then it could be argued that he wouldn't be remorseful. Zac doesn't act illegally for fun. And I can prove it.

"The one thing that he wishes, more than anything, is that the Battle of the Snakes never happened. The one thing he has never stopped feeling guilty over is that it happened, that Professor … erm, I mean, Tammy … Tamara …"

"Call her Tamara," advised the Judge.

"Um … thanks," I mumbled, blushing furiously. "Anyway, he has never stopped feeling guilty that Tamara was hurt, nor that Michelle Grant or Tom Howell died. If he was prone to illegal activities, then he wouldn't feel remorse. He wouldn't hesitate to use violence. But, if you look at your records, you'll see that he has never used violence since the battle."

"How can you prove that Mr. Carew is remorseful?" asked the Judge lazily. "You said you had proof."

Suddenly, Rune's words from weeks before came into my head. He said that I thought Zac was a brave, strange man. But anyone could have seen that he thought there was something else. Maybe he knew what it was all along. If anyone was the judge of character, it was him. If I pulled this off, I would owe him twice, just for giving me the grounds to do this.

"I do," I said desperately and then remembered my plan. I lowered my voice an octave. "I do," I repeated more confidently. "The proof is in the way Zac looks at me." A pause. "Every time that my brother looks at me, he remembers the battle. Every time that he looks at me, he sees Tamara Rowland being injured, or Michelle Grant being killed.

"He gave me my middle name after Michelle Grant. In sorrow for what he did. But that's not all. That's not enough. Because, every time Zac Carew looks at me," I dropped my voice even lower, "he wishes that I had never been born. He wishes that time could reverse so that he did not visit me. He wishes that I had never existed so nothing bad could ever have happened." Emotion filled up in my throat. This was the bane of my life and I was vocalising it for the first time, in front of a group of strangers. "He resents me living."

There was a complete uproar. People started talking among themselves. Mrs. Blackmore gave me a look filled with pity. I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone else. My shoulders were shaking with pent-up emotion. The worst thing wasn't that I'd had to reveal all that in front of a court _and_ my parents. The worst thing was that it was all true. Any doubt I had had, was gone. There really was no other explanation for how Zac looked at me.

"Order!" called the Judge. The room quietly settled. "If there is one more outburst, I will have the public gallery swept. And I am _not_ joking." Complete silence. "Continue, Miss Carew."

My voice was still choked with emotion. "Zac resents me, because I'm alive and the two Hogwarts students are not," I explained. "That's how remorseful he is. So remorseful, he wishes his only sister had never been born."

I shot a quick glance at the Jury. One of them looked like he was about to start crying. I almost felt like saying 'join the club'.

"And yet, he has never taken revenge on me or purposely tried to hurt me. He resents me. He doesn't try to hurt me. Zac doesn't pose a danger to society."

Just saying that felt weak. I needed something else. One more thing to push the scales over the edge. Something that would really show that Zac would never commit another crime. Without meaning to, I found myself looking at the public gallery.

My parents were looking shell-shocked; my mum was actually crying silently. A wave of guilt spread over me but I fought it back down. Now was not the time to get sentimental. People were looking sad, disgusted, angry … Professor Langtree was gripping something tightly. Professor Rowland looked distraught. Of course, she would be badly affected if Zac got sent down. Did she still love him?

And, just like that, another crazy idea settled in my head. A wild theory. Not quite so grained in truth and yet, why couldn't it be? I had seen things, heard things … all sorts of events which could lead up to this. I could voice it. The worst that could happen was that I might be wrong.

"Is that all, Miss Carew?"

"NO!" I shouted out. "No," I repeated, far more calmly. "You asked for proof that Zac would never be a danger to society. And this is it. The last proof you need. The reason you can't imprison him.

"Zac would do anything for the people he loves. Well, not anything, but most things. He risked his life to see me on several occasions; he resents me but, at the same time, he loves my parents and, through them, me. He knew they would want him to see me. He visited me. My middle name? Done because of Michelle. My first name? Done out of love for Tamara because she suggested it." Another guess but they didn't know that. "If he visited her in St. Mungo's, then it was done out of love for her.

"In fact, Zac would do anything for her. If she wanted, he would stop doing illegal things." I paused, trying to think of an eloquent way to phrase this. Finally, I said simply, "And he would do it for any children he might have." I waited for a moment, for my sentence to sink in.

"He has no children," the Judge pointed out, not understanding me. "You've said so yourself, in previous statements."

"No," I replied. "Not yet. But Tamara Rowland is pregnant with his child. If you don't arrest Zac then-"

"You're WHAT?" shouted Zac, interrupting me. He turned around to stare at Rowland, shock all over his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked equally shocked. "I didn't think I was pregnant," she replied. "It's never occurred to me."

Ah. So my theory was going down in flames. Maybe she really had had a stomach bug, despite what Langtree had said. And she'd probably always liked Sugar Quills.

"Is it possible?" someone asked. The earlier threat to sweep the public gallery seemed to have disappeared because the Judge said nothing.

She blushed. "I don't think so. I'd have noticed."

"Okay," I interrupted, panicking. "I guess I got that a bit wrong so-"

"Actually," a smooth voice cut in, "I agree with Holly." Langtree stood up. "I've been watching you for the last few months, Tammy. You've been so worried that I don't think you'd think about it. But I've been looking and I've come to the same opinion as Holly.

"Think about it. April, you were sick. Morning sickness? You've been having vivid dreams or so you tell me. You're eating Sugar Quills by the dozen; my teeth rot just looking at you. And for Merlin's sake, look at your stomach. Either I need my eyes checked or your stomach's grown in size … and the rest of your body hasn't." He paused. "I've been wondering for a long time whether you're pregnant," he finished softly.

I was relieved. I had noticed a lot of the things which Langtree had, but these had only really been in the back of my mind. My speaking had been from a faint hope more than a solid theory. This changed everything.

The Judge muttered something under his breath - it looked like 'I need a drink' – and then asked Rowland to come down to the front. She did so, looking absolutely terrified.

_Of course she is_, part of my mind whispered, _she's just found out that she might be a mother._

"Tamara, I know this is a bit surprising – for everyone – but we need to ascertain whether you could be pregnant in order to see if Holly's claim is true," he said kindly. "Would you mind answering a few questions?"

"No," she replied hesitantly.

"Very well then." He turned to the usher. "Get a mediwizard of some sort here. I don't care which one, but get them here before the day's over. We don't need this dragging on for any longer than it has to."

The usher was only gone for a few minutes before she returned with a thin, balding man. The Judge explained the situation, and Langtree's comments, and the mediwizard nodded.

"Okay," he said, his voice reedy, as he turned to Rowland. "Have you had sexual intercourse within the last few months?"

"Yes," she mumbled, looking down.

"When was the last time?"

Her face turned an even deeper shade of red. "Early March."

"Did you use any form of contraception, through charm, potion or Muggle device?"

"No," she whispered. "I don't think so."

He nodded. "When was the date of your last period?"

She thought for a moment. "I don't remember," she admitted. "I've been thinking about other things."

"I see." He looked at the Judge. "It does appear that this woman is pregnant, although I will have to do a test to make sure. But I'm reasonably certain."

The Judge nodded. "Very well. Do the test."

The mediwizard walked over to Rowland and began to murmur the words of a charm. Lights and flashing images moved around her, all of which looked very impressive, none of which made sense to me.

The examination took about five minutes, but those five minutes were agony. So much was being held on this.

Finally, he stood up. "My lord," he said loudly, "she's definitely pregnant." I let out a sigh of relief. "And I can't be certain without a more detailed test but I would say she's about five months gone."

There was complete silence as everyone stared at her. After about a minute, someone said the thing we were all thinking.

"How the hell did you not notice_ that_?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't think I've been concentrating."

She was now white as a sheet.

"Well, two more questions," said the Judge. "These last times which you've had intercourse; was it with Zac Carew?"

"Yes." Her hands had flown to her stomach and she looked everywhere but at us.

"Did you have sexual intercourse with anyone else in the past … seven months?"

"No!" she exclaimed, getting offended at this more than anything else.

"Very well," he acknowledged. "Jury, note that Tamara Rowland is pregnant with the defendant's child. Holly Carew, would you like to finish your speech?"

In all honesty, I had forgotten that this had all started because of my speech. My eyes flickered around the room. Rowland had gone back to her seat, trembling. My parents looked stunned. Zac was muttering something under his breath, wringing his hands.

The idea of him being a father was weird. The idea of my parents being grandparents was just as strange. The idea that I was going to be an aunt went through my head as well but I dismissed it. I had already ruined everyone else's life. I didn't need to confuse mine as well.

And if I messed this up, I would leave that child without a father. Now the stakes were even higher.

"Yes, sir. Thank you." I took a deep breath. "Zac has something to look forward to. He has a girlfriend -" I wasn't sure if that was a great term but it couldn't hurt. "- and a child coming. The last thing Zac would want to do is act violently or illegally. He would want to make everything better for his family. If you give him a chance, he would probably become as good a citizen as anyone else.

"I guess that's all. Zac did something bad in his past, but everyone does at least one bad thing. The important thing is that we learn from it." I sounded like a motivational speaker but there was no other way to phrase it. "Zac learnt from his mistakes. If you give him a chance, he'll change. He doesn't deserve to be punished." I looked at the Judge. "I guess that's all I wanted to say, sir."

With shaking legs, I walked back to the public gallery and sat down next to my parents. Dad put his arm around me. I felt old.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The advocates summed up their arguments and the Judge gave his speech. By the time the Jury was sent out, it was nearly the end of the court day but the Judge requested that the Jury begin deciding anyway, reminding them that Zac could only be found guilty if it was clear beyond any reasonable doubt.

They didn't decide by the end of the day.

We sat in the Court building for most of the next day, waiting anxiously. We were allowed to sit with Zac, under close supervision. Rowland sat with us and, for the first time, I saw Zac acting like her boyfriend; he had his arm around her and sometimes gave her a kiss. They both looked tired.

Occasionally, Langtree sat by us and spoke. Mostly, we were silent, each of us contemplating what could happen. Every time I thought about it, the worse I felt it had gone. By the time they called us back in, I was convinced that not only had Zac been found guilty of everything, but they were going to take me up on my offer to imprison me too.

Being called back into the court room was terrifying. Until that moment, Zac was safe but now, anything could happen.

Once we were all seated, a member of the Jury stood up. The Judge addressed her.

"Have you come to a decision?"

The woman nodded. "We have."

"The first charge is the murder of Adam Etasyl. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

I held my breath. "Not guilty."

I sighed with relief.

"Second: the murder of Ryan Reaver. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty."

"Third: the murder of Luke Borallis. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty."

"Fourth: the murder of Tanya DeKilwar. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty."

He had been cleared of all the murder charges. The worst was over.

"Sixth: starting the Battle of the Snakes which resulted in the deaths of Michelle Grant and Thomas Howell. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?" I held my breath again.

"Not guilty."

That was it. I grinned. We had won. It was all over. Next to me, Dad sagged with relief.

"And now," the Judge said, "my verdict on points which the Jury has been asked not to judge." I stared at him and then realised. Of course. The Judge's verdict. "Although the defendant has been found innocent of all the main charges, it is my opinion that he has broken the law by entering St. Mungo's without permission. Furthermore, there is significant evidence that he has sold many illegal items throughout the past fifteen years. For these offences, I find him guilty.

"The defendant will return here on 21st August in order to receive his sentence. Until then, I am willing to grant him bail: he may stay at his parent's house. He must not be outside between the hours of nine pm and six am and he may not leave his home town. If these conditions are broken, he will be taken to Azkaban and kept there until his sentencing. It will also be taken into account." A pause and then: "Case is over. You can leave." No one moved so he added, smiling, "I'm serious."

The room filed out. At some point, we must have gone with them, because I was suddenly outside. I looked around. Zac was frowning intensely.

"We lost?" someone whispered. I didn't know who.

"Not quite," said a calm voice. We turned to look at Mr. Malfoy, who was actually smiling! "I spoke to the Judge. I'm relatively sure that Zac's sentence will be light; probably nothing more than Community Service. If it is prison, it will be a low sentence and, considering the time he's spent there, it may only be a few days. We won."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"We won!" Zac shouted as we entered the house, acting like a teenager. "We won! I'm nearly a free man." He turned around, grabbed Rowland (who had come to our house for a celebration/ to meet my parents) and gave her an enthusiastic kiss.

She looked happier than I had seen her for a few months. "Watch it," she laughed. "I'm pregnant."

He laughed back, a wild joy in his eyes. "Yes, I know."

Mum smiled. "I'm too young to be a gran."

"I'm too young to be an aunt," I muttered.

Zac laughed and turned to me. "And this is the star of the show. You're brilliant, Holly! Guessing Tammy was pregnant; making it sound like everyone should get the blame … and all that rubbish about me resenting you! That was great. You should be an actress."

Rubbish. That's what he thought I thought it was. He thought I had just come up with some old story. Any mood to party left me. It didn't take much to remind me that, in my brother's eyes, I was last.

"Sure," I said. "Acting."

My parents went into the kitchen to get champagne. To celebrate. They called us in. Rowland went but I started to head up the stairs. Zac stopped me.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "You're old enough for champagne, you know, and if you're not, I'll sneak you some. Come on, this is a celebration."

I shrugged. "I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed."

It was seven pm.

"You're going to bed?"

"Yeah." I paused. "Oh, and you might want to stop Rowl- er, Tammy, from drinking. That can't be good for the baby." I turned around, walked up the stairs and went into my room.

"Zac, Holly," Dad called, "come on in already."

"Hang on," Zac called back, to my surprise. "There's something we need to do first."

Somehow, it didn't startle me to see my brother walk into my room. He looked around at the bland wallpaper, my books, my belongings and then, finally, at me.

"Holly, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "I'm just tired."

"Good try. Now tell me what's wrong." I said nothing. He was silent for a moment. Then: "You're not mad because of the resenting thing, are you? I mean, you _were_ lying, just like you're lying now. Holly, what's wrong?"

"I'm not lying! And I was under oath in court." This slipped out before I could stop it. I winced.

He wiped his hand over his face. "You mean … you were … you seriously believe everything you said in court?"

I shrugged.

"I'm not a mind reader, Holly. I know you hate talking about your feelings but it would be nice if you did it now. Do you believe what you said?"

"Yes," I whispered, refusing to look at him.

He stared at me. "You seriously think I hate you?"

"Not _hate _me. Resent me."

He was silent for a moment. I carried on staring at the floor.

"I don't resent you."

I shrugged again. "There's no point in lying, Zac. I got over it ages ago." It seemed ironic that I was telling him not to lie, when I was doing it myself. "I'm used to it."

"For God's sake, Holly, look at me!" he snapped. Startled, I did so. He was completely serious. "I don't resent you. I never have, I never will. I don't know where you got the idea from."

"Easy," I muttered. "I just have to look at you. You always look at me like you wish I wasn't there. It's not hard to guess why."

He frowned. "That doesn't narrow it down."

"Usually when you just arrive and you see me," I pointed out helpfully.

"No, I don't … oh." A sound of realization fell off his tongue.

"Oh," I agreed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That was … that wasn't … look. I don't resent you. I resent _me_."

"Huh?" Of all the things I was expecting him to say, it wasn't that.

"When I look at you, I think of the Battle and Michelle Grant. That's true. But, I look at you and think how much I screwed everything up. I know what you said, about the battle being everyone's fault, but if it wasn't for me, they never would have died.

"_I'm_ the person who started all the trouble with Slytherin. Everything I did ended in people getting hurt. And, what's more, I'd look at you, and I'd think, 'you really screwed up, Zac. You've missed so much in her life and it's all your fault.'"

"But, you're older than me," I pointed out. "You'd have been an adult by the time I was one. You'd have been living by yourself before I was four."

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I'm your older brother. I was supposed to look out for you, be there. I was supposed to help you through Hogwarts if you had magic." He shook his head again with disgust. "And, instead, I just put you through more problems. Just like I did for everyone." His voice was bitter. "No matter what I did, you got hurt. I only got to meet you once before I screwed everything up. I should have been able to just come over and see you anytime."

I didn't know what to say to that. I had been prepared to think he was lying, but he looked so old and broken that I found it hard to distrust him.

"We make a good pair, don't we, Holly?" he asked. "I keep hurting everyone. Everyone keeps hurting you."

I shrugged. "I just need to stand up for myself. Be a bit more brave."

He shook his head. "You're brave already. You stood up for me in front of a court full of people."

"Well, you don't hurt everyone," I pointed out, trying to get him back. "Row-, Tammy, must think you're great."

He sighed. "I don't see it myself."

"Yeah, well, my standing up wasn't bravery either."

"Don't underestimate yourself." He sounded serious. "Stop thinking the worst."

"Oh, and you're not?"

He chuckled nervously. "Fair point."

"Thanks." We sat in silence. Zac didn't resent me. He didn't resent me. After all these years, I had been reading him completely wrong. Unless I was right and he was lying-

"Holly, I can't do it," he said in a panicking voice, interrupting my thoughts.

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Be a dad. I can't be a brother. How the hell am I supposed to be a dad?"

"You are a brother-" I began, trying to placate him, but he interrupted me.

"Not if my sister thinks I hate her. I can't do it!" He looked like he might start hyperventilating. That was what convinced me. Zac must have been telling the truth before, if he was so upset now.

"Fine," I replied calmly. "You messed up a bit with me. You have a second chance, and you have Tammy. And Mum and Dad. And me. You'll be fine."

"But-"

For the first time since I was little, I walked over to him and put my arms around him. For the first time, he responded.

"You'll be fine," I whispered. "You're not alone now. You've got us and _we_ won't let you mess up."

He looked up at me, his eyes glistening. "Thanks," he whispered back. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that."


	28. Hope

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter.

**Geth342:** Whew! This is it. The last chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i've enjoyed writing it.

Credit for the idea of having Professor Langtree as the Best Man goes to _Sean Mulligan_. I think it was an inspired idea!

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to every single person who's reviewed - especially _ellesra, gangsta. l0ver, dancelikeyoujustdontcare, Hurricane Rachel, __SnowStorm752_, _HiddenDepths-x_and _Sean Mulligan_ - and every single person who put me on alert and favourite. You guys rock and I don't know how to thank you all enough.

For the very last time: I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 28: Hope

_The terrible thing about the quest for truth is that you find it _– **Rémy de Gourmont**

_We tell lies when we are afraid …afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger_ – **Tad Williams**

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I guess this story ends the same way it began: with the birth of another Carew.

On 7th October 2049, Zac Carew married Tamara Rowland. The ceremony was very low-key: only close family of both participants and a few friends attended. Seifer Langtree was the Best Man. I ended up as Maid of Honour as there was no one else left to fill the role, although her cousin did offer. It might not have been spectacular but I think the last thing either of them wanted was fuss. For them, it was perfect.

On 3rd December 2049, after a difficult labour, Tamara Carew gave birth to a baby girl, weighing roughly seven pounds. She was named Hope Carew, after my earlier suggestion.

I didn't ask for her to be called Hope for any specific reason. It was probably because, when they had asked me, while Tammy was pregnant, if I would come up with a name for their daughter (they knew the baby would be a girl) Faith Weasley had been on my mind. But, when I pointed this out, Zac said it was perfect anyway because that's what the child was for him. Hope. Tamara agreed with him. I decided to apologise to my niece as soon as she was old enough to understand. Hope isn't a great name in my opinion.

Zac had a lot to hope for. We all did. Mr. Malfoy was right when he said that my brother would receive a light sentence: in light of the circumstances of his life, the time he'd already spent in Azkaban and Tammy's pregnancy, he received a two week jail sentence and three months of community service. However, once free, he still had to start his life again. My parents and I needed to rebuild ours.

Zac moved into Tammy's house. During the time of his imprisonment, my parents and I had gone over nearly every day to help make the house better for two people, and to help make it baby-proof (during this time, Tammy successfully got me to stop calling her 'Rowland', 'Professor' and 'Tamara').

He had trouble finding a job at first as no one would hire the notorious Zac Carew but, in the end, some old friends of his from Manchester hired him for their business. It wasn't the life he was used to but, slowly, he adapted.

The worst thing in those months, however, was the way that Tammy's family treated her. Her parents were shocked that she had become pregnant by my brother and then married him. Her younger brothers have both visited their niece and her but the most her parents have done is send a card. I've never met them but, if I did, I'd like to tell them how much they hurt her. Because I know what it feels like to be rejected by family.

It would be nice to say that, after the events of early August, my family suddenly got on really well with each other. Nice but wrong. Although Zac and I didn't have any more misunderstandings, talking to him still feels a bit awkward. I feel as though I'm waiting for him to turn around and tell me that everything is my fault. Tammy told me once that he's worried I'll turn around and tell him that he's messing everything up.

In addition, my parents and I have become closer but, just like always, there is a gap between us – because, even now, Zac requires more attention. His life is still in need of mending. In the eyes of my family, mine is more or less fixed.

The one good thing which came out of this scenario, however, is that my parents have allowed me to return to Hogwarts, on the condition that if one more bad thing happens to me, I'll be removed. I think Tammy must have spoken to them about it; Mum took a liking to her and I think this is the sort of thing she would advise.

The return to Hogwarts was strange for me. Everyone knew who I was and everyone knew what I had done. Some people hated me because they thought Zac was a murderer. Others averted their eyes guiltily when they saw me. Most didn't know what to do with me.

Lysana was pleased to see me and sat with me in a separate compartment to the other Slytherins: although I knew about Rune's plan, I didn't want to see him. Maybe because, despite what he had said in court, I still couldn't trust him. To trust him, I had to be sure there was no sign of a monster in him, and I had no proof.

Devyn, Sandy and Rhian became completely correct at the beginning of that school year. I was so confused about everything that I couldn't decide who to trust. Consequently, it was only Lysana whom I fully trusted.

I'm still not friends with the three of them. We smile when we see each other, we say hello and have the occasional conversation but the events of the summer changed us too much. I couldn't settle back into easy conversations with them. I couldn't be their friend again.

However, I did find a friend in Faith Weasley. She carried on sitting next to me in lessons as we've taken mostly the same subjects

(I took Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Arithmancy. I had gotten _Exceeds Expectations_ in the last two but I needed Defence if I wanted to do Charms research and Arithmancy if I did Potions. I wasn't sure if I could still do Charms as I hadn't taken Transfiguration on but it never hurt to try.)

Faith became a friend I didn't expect – she was just as shy as I was but, she turned out to be smart and funny. We aren't as close as I am to Lysana nor her to her friends but it's still nice to have her as a friend. And it was Faith who introduced me to Terry.

Terry Everniss is a Hufflepuff boy in the year below me who, apparently, had a crush on me for months. Faith convinced him to ask me to the Halloween Ball and he did.

Our relationship was never as intense as Rune and mine had been; we just didn't click together like that and there wasn't a huge spark of 'romance' in it. However, he was nice enough: quiet, just like Faith, and smart. He wasn't as funny as Rune, but he had his own sense of humour and he had a big heart. We managed to stay together for five months and, when we split up, it was as friends. We're still friends now.

The one thing about Terry, though, was how good he was for me. He, like everyone else, had heard about Rune and was willing to take things slow. We talked a lot, from little things which annoyed us to big things which we worried about. When Rune constantly showed up, to charm me into being friends with him, Terry tried to be as polite as he could, even though he wanted nothing more than to curse the older boy.

With Terry, I learnt that it really wasn't me against the world. That there were people other than Lysana who would willingly side with me, for no other reason than their loving me or even that it might be the right thing to do.

He once told me that he was good at fixing broken things. It was not until after we stopped dating that I realised he was right; he had fixed me. Maybe it was me he had been referring to all along.

True to his word, Rune made an effort to be friends with me again. He found me in crowds, talked to me, joked with me and respected my wishes. It helped him that I was already fond of him, and despite what he said, I owed him for my brother.

It took me a long time but I did, eventually, forgive him. Maybe not to the point where we had been before, but we became friends again. Yet, at the back of mind, there was always the nagging suspicion that he might hurt me again.

Still, when Terry broke up with me, he told me that I should go after Rune again – because even though our relationship was breaking apart because we were more like friends, he said even a blind person could see the way I felt about Rune. And everyone except me knew it.

Maybe he's right. I don't know. I can't deny that I feel something for him but I can never forget what he tried to do to me. Even occasionally, in my sleep, I remember it. But at the same time, Rune has grown up a lot. I guess I'll have to see what happens.

Compared to my fifth year, my sixth year at Hogwarts wasn't exciting. No one tried to attack me. People didn't spend their time insulting me. When one more person was murdered – a woman named Tina Spangler - there was some hostility, but it was muted. When it was revealed, in early November, that the real murderer had been caught – a man named Edgar Howell, the cousin of Tom Howell – I began to fade out of existence in the minds of most students.

Zac didn't have a clue who Edgar Howell was, but Tammy did: apparently, he and her had been childhood friends, up until she was eleven and he was thirteen. She told us that Edgar had been close to his cousin. So close, it seemed, that he would commit murder and frame an innocent man, just to avenge him. It made no sense in my mind, but Zac accepted it.

In fact, the one, truly exciting part about my sixth year, was the birth of Hope.

I was allowed out of school to be with my family when Tammy gave birth. Up until that moment, I had been nervous. What if my parents took to visiting the baby rather than looking after me? What if I just didn't like the child? What if I was a bad aunt? I had no experience with these things. I had a feeling that I would be awful with children as well.

The moment I saw her, all my worries went away. She was tiny, with hardly any hair and she was perfect. She had a similar face to Tammy but Zac's nose and eyes. When she saw me, she smiled sleepily and reached out to me. It was impossible not to love her.

Dad told me later that the expression on my face when I first held Hope matched Zac's when he had first held me, all those years ago. One of complete contentment.

After she was born, I spent – and still spend - as much time as possible with her. I love to go over my brother's house, with a toy of some sort and play with her. Even when I don't know what to do – like when she cries – I still like to be with her. I like how she smiles when she sees me or my parents. I like the way she always reaches out when someone walks in her room. I like how she tries to wave at Zac or Tamara when she sees them.

Despite Zac's worries, he isn't a bad father. He isn't perfect but then, who is? When I see him with his daughter, he always seems to know what to do. It helps, of course, that he's not on the run this time.

/\/\/\/\/\

I guess it doesn't matter, that my life hasn't gotten back to normal. I still can't talk about my feelings well, and I'm still jumpy, as though someone might try to hurt me. People ignore me in the corridors. I find it hard to make friends. But, I have Lysana, Terry, Faith and even Rune and his friends. I can walk through Hogwarts in peace.

Maybe I have changed. I don't know if it's been for the better, or the worse. Maybe it's neither; maybe it's just been change.

Or maybe I just grew up.

I suppose what my life is now will be the new normal for me. After all, it's been over one year since Zac's trial. It's the beginning of my seventh and final year at Hogwarts. Anything could happen. Personally, I hope nothing will. Life might be more exciting with events happening everywhere, but it's safer to be dull.

However, I think this year will still be a good one. Because, for the first time, I've had a sign that I'm doing something right.

As Tammy and I were going to board the train, she kissed Hope and handed her to Zac. I kissed Hope on the forehead and we began to walk away. As soon as we did that, Hope began to cry.

"Guess she wants her mum," Zac laughed and gave her back to Tammy. Tammy held her daughter until she stopped crying and handed her over to Zac.

We turned to leave and, once more, Hope began to cry. Tammy took her again but still Hope would not stop crying.

"What does she want?" I asked, confused. She was with her mother. She wasn't hungry or sleepy. Why was she upset?

Zac looked at her: she was holding her hands out. "I think I can guess," he said softly and looked at Tammy. She smiled and nodded.

"I can't. What does she want?" I asked again.

To my surprise, Tammy held Hope out to me. I took her and she stopped crying.

"You, Holly," Tamara said quietly. "She wanted you."

_FIN_

_**The Carew Siblings' Stories: 13th October 2007 - 13th April 2009**_


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